PLAYLIST: “Kiss Me,” Sixpence None The Richer

DOHEE

And the popular boy meets up with the unpopular nerd at the rooftop. He tells her, ‘What if we pretend to date so that the girls will leave me alone and your parents would stop bothering you about having a boyfriend?’ Obviously, the nerd hesitates for a moment. Her? Pretend to date the most popular and hottest boy in school? But she gets tempted by the offer anyway if that means no more arguing with her mom, right? ‘Deal.’ The two shared a quick handshake, unexplainable electricity come across them inside. The two of them entered such a dangerous path without thinking of the consequences of possibly … falling for each other and—

An ear-piercing record player scratch across the wide green screen aka my brain, halting everything at once into a devastating end.

Shim Dohee—this is not a rom-com movie. You’re not the nerd and he’s not the popular boy in school. What the heck were you thinking? Why did you say that? What is wrong with your head? Where did you get the slightest audacity to come to his rescue without having the proper gear to continue on with the fight? I bite on my bottom lip firmly as Baekhyun drags me back to the parking lot after he made an excuse that we forgot something in the car. His family went back in to wait for us inside. I’m not ready for this confrontation, what am I supposed to say?

THIS WAS NOT PART OF MY SCRIPT. I had to adlib, okay?

“Okay.” I reluctantly stare at Baekhyun’s back figure as he grabs on his hips. I fear that I will see his scary side for the very first time. “Why’d you do that?” He asks, rather calmly, still. I look away when he turns to face me. I release my lip to speak but nothing came out for a while. I clear my throat before lifting my head as high as I could, just enough to look at him. “I was—I was pissed, okay? You didn’t tell me your father was a turd. I had to make an adlib and that was the first thing that came to mind.” I manage to fight back with much attitude as I could get off of me. I quickly fall apart when Baekhyun moves closer. “Dohee, why?” He asks.

Why? “I didn’t like how he spoke, about who you are. What did you want me to do, just let him speak to you like that?” I ask. His expression softens as he closes his eyes for a moment. “I’m used to that, you shouldn’t have—why did you have to involve yourself? This wasn’t my plan at all.” He asks me, concern rising in his tone. I sigh. “Baekhyun, I accept you for who you are. I like you for who you are. It hurts me to hear other people, especially your own family be so bitter about your prefere—

“I’m not gay, Dohee. I’m really not. I thought I’ve been clear about that since I told you guess what. I didn’t know you were actually trying to guess this whole time?” He cuts me off in disbelief. My eyes bulge out but I keep my composure. Oh god, the intuition that I have been successfully avoiding for the longest time crashes into me when he said that. So … he really isn’t gay? But why? Why am I here? Why is he here with me? Why are we so close against each other right now? He’s a very strange heteroual then. “I—I kn—I know, what I mean is—like your—I mean your career. Isn’t that what he was … criticizing?” I manage to fight back, hiding my panic. I take small steps back. I have been hanging out, pouring my heart out to a straight man.

And he didn’t run away yet.

What is wrong with him?

I don’t understand.

I shake all the anxiety off my head to focus on the real matter. Whatever, it’s his choice if he wants to keep being weird and befriend me when he could easily date beautiful women who are surrounding him on a daily basis. “Whatever he meant by what he said, it wasn’t nice and I got mad at it. You’re … you’re still my—my friend. In fact, I can confirm now that you’re my best friend. Maybe.” I look away as soon as I finish the sentence. I take another step back but he takes a step closer. I back away again but he comes forward once again. “Yah—yah what are you—it’s okay if I’m not your best friend. I don’t mind.” I assure him, with my head tilted all the way to my left to avoid his gaze.

“So, I finally confirm that I am not gay to you but you’re not scared?” He asks, almost intimidatingly so. Somehow, even if I wasn’t looking, I could hear a smile from the tone of his voice. Does that make sense? Can you hear a smile? Maybe I’m weird. But he’s weirder! “Well, I mean—you could be maybe—aual?” I guess again and finally manage to look at him. His head falls as he chuckles. “What? That’s a thing, you know, you need to be aware of all of these to be an ally. I am an ally. Love wins!” He looks up again, now with a genuine smile. “What now?” I ask as sharply as I could.

I take another step back but this time, he doesn’t budge. Phew.

“I like women. The opposite . Is there any more way for me to be clear?” He asks. I jolt from the word even though I know he meant another thing. At this point, I have run out of excuses to myself of why a handsome, angelic man like Baekhyun would be friends with me. It’s just so … weird! This only happens in movies. Beauty is meant for beauty—not a beast, like me. Of course, the Disney movie is an exception. I mean come on, they have a talking clock and teacups. In the real world, this doesn’t happen unless I’m totally dreaming and could have my teapot sing me to sleep. I unconsciously tap my cheek—nope, awake. Wide awake. “Ba—back to the topic—we just have to deal with it for tonight. We go back to Seoul tomorrow anyway and then they can forget about it.” I stammer into my sentence.

The atmosphere softens as we finally shared our longest eye contact since we ran back here. “Thank you. And … I can't believe you just called my dad a turd.” Baekhyun softly mutters and finally, a genuine smile curves on my lips.

I guess I could get used to it. Who says two opposite can’t be friends without malice, right?

There's no way I'd fall for him now that I know he's straight. I mean, I've known the guy for three years! He's like ... he should feel like a brother by now. I think? I'm not that shallow ... most times.

I take a deep breath before shifting my body to stand beside him. I gesture ahead to let him lead the way. “Let’s do this?” I ask and to my surprise, he grabs my hand. He interlocks our fingers together and I feel his warmth crash into my skin. “Yah—Baekhyun—we—” He looks at me with a smile. “Aren’t you supposed to be my girlfriend?” He asks and I look away quickly. I feel my face warm up from that question but I keep my composure. Maybe I don’t have to see this as a problem at all. I mean … maybe this is a good chance for me to get more comfortable with straight men so I do better in dates? I don’t want him to be my Guinea pig but it’s just … there’s no other way for me to be comfortable in this situation that I put myself in aside from convincing myself that we are simply practicing.

Right?

“It’s okay, sorry.” Baekhyun let go of my hand and I feel the warmth that I am beginning to enjoy leave in an instant. I rush back to his side to hold him again the same way. This is practice, Dohee. You’re not actually enjoying this … right? You’re practicing, that’s it. “No, I think you’re right. We need to be believable.” I see him looking at the way I hold his hand and he adjusts it again, interlacing our fingers like the first time. “It’s better if you hold me like this. it keeps you warm.” He advises softly.

I gulp hard. Did I speak my mind out loud again?

Is he trying to teach me? Is he like my ... dating coach now?

Oh my god, did I verbally think like always?

As we enter the venue, we get checked in by staff for our invitations. “So … if you’re straight, why don’t you have a girlfriend? You’re not interested in anyone at all?” I whisper to him. We finally get led inside and the soft music welcomes our ears. People—a lot of people, like too many people for my liking—unfamiliar faces intrigue my senses quickly, not in a good way. I feel Baekhyun’s head move close against my ear and I jolt. “I am. I am interested in someone at the moment but we’re not there yet.” He answers. His voice was gentle yet firm against my ear. I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand—or is it because my neck and back is very exposed right now because of this dress?

“Oh.” I turn to him with a frown. “Then why didn’t you ask her as a date inst—”

“Baekhyun, is that you?” An elderly female voice calls out making both of us turn. Baekhyun finally let go of my hand and I feel the same hollowness on my palm again. He pulled the woman into a tight hug before gesturing me to come closer. “Aunt Hyosun, I’d like you to meet Shim Dohee. Dohee, this is my aunt Hyosun. My father’s sister.” I bow politely and she smiles at me. I wanted to say something but nothing came out of my mouth so instead, I bow again. She was forced to do the same and we share an awkward laugh.

Oh god, I’m not doing very well.

That’s until I feel yet another warmth across my waist at the back. I turn and I realize it was Baekhyun’s arm, the rough texture of his suit gliding gently against my skin, it makes me jolt in panic. “Aunt, how have you been? How’s Soo Ah and Jisoo?” He speaks. I try to keep my