PLAYLIST: “Rain,” Soyou, Baekhyun

BAEKHYUN

I finish my third lap. It’s a success. I haven’t run in ages that it feels so good right now. It’s a special day for me today. I invited Dohee and her parents to have dinner with me later tonight and I’m so glad that they accepted. Instead of taking them to some restaurants, I decided it’s best if I invited them over to my place and cook for them personally. In that way, we can have a more personal and intimate time altogether. Honestly, regardless of how positive I have always been, a part of me have initially accepted the possibility that I would not get their approval—considering how our first meeting went. When Dohee told me that they actually liked me, I was extremely surprised.

Nevertheless, I feel grateful and proud of myself.

Despite that our personalities obviously do not match, I’m happy that I was still able to express to them my good side and they approve of me and Dohee dating. The last thing I want is for them to doubt my feelings for their daughter. My hands grip on my hips as I tug for air. As I look down, bullets of sweat drop from my hair and I shake them off.

You see, this will be the first time that I have to build a relationship with the parents of the woman I am dating. In my past relationships, I never had to because they were mostly short-term. And with Nayoung’s parents, her father was never in the picture while she didn’t have a close relationship with her mother who lived in the States. My heart pounds in nervousness as it sinks into me even more. Everything just makes even more sense. Dohee is the only woman I have felt this many emotions for, she only deserves a peaceful relationship with everyone. I am giving all that I got to create a bond with her parents and hopefully help them to have a better bond as well since I know it’s not the best at the moment.

I better get back to my place to clean up some more. My apartment has always been tidy but I want it to be spotless today. As I walk my way back to my building, I take my phone out to check for any text messages from my girlfriend. She’s most likely at work now. If I’m not mistaken, she’s mentioned to me that Kyungsoo might be back in a few days. Even better, we can start planning our trip officially. So, initially, we planned to stay overnight only but I figure, three days would feel more like a trip and it also gives us a lot more time to explore … the place.

I have been there before but Dohee hasn’t, so I’d like to take my time with her. Speaking of exploring, Dohee has been giving me hints of what may happen on that trip. I may be reading too much into it but I’m not entirely ruling out the possibility that this will really be the time. I am not, in any way, going to force my way into doing anything with her but just in case … I’m going to need a lot of courage and preparations myself. I love this woman. I am crazy about her and I really see a future in our relationship. I don’t want to do anything that could jeopardize that.

Just as I get into my building, my phone rings. It’s Dohee, so I pick it up right away. ‘Hello? Baekhyun, there’s a slight problem.’ She speaks on the other end. I press the elevator button as I catch my breath, I am still a bit out of it after that run and brisk walk after. “Uh-huh, what’s up?” I ask in between pants. “Sorry, I ran,” I add in the end in case she hears my heavy breathing. ‘So, I told you that Kyungsoo might be back in a couple of days. Well, that’s confirmed, thankfully. He can go back in two days but because of that, we’re gonna have a little company meeting tonight. Maybe until seven, could be a little earlier than that, I’m not sure. And I know we invited my parents to your place at around six and they’re driving there themselves, should I call them to move it a little later so I could help you prepare? Like maybe eight? Or is that too late?’ She asks worries in her tone is evident.

Hmm, I don’t really see any problem if she comes a bit later, right?

I’m not sure about trying to move it to the last minute, I don’t want to give that impression to them. “Uh.” I look down at my watch as I step into the elevator. “I can prepare all by myself so we don’t really have to move, to be honest, but it’s just … I want to be able to pick you up still,” I reply with uncertainty. I rub my chin as I try to calculate the time in which I’m going to have to prepare the food, the apartment and lastly wait for the parents. I don’t know, I really don’t feel comfortable confusing them with the time by changing it at the last minute. ‘No no no, I can take a bus to your place. There’s one close by and it only takes me five minutes from here. It will save us some more time if I just go there by myself.’ She protests.

I arrive at my floor and I get out of the elevator, a sigh escaping my mouth as I think. “Yeah, but I just don’t want to keep them that late. What if we just stick to the original plan, I’ll do everything by myself, I’ll be fine so don’t worry about it. Then if they’re here first, I will just entertain them until you’re here. It’s a good chance for them to get to know me better personally too.” I suggest and I receive silence on the other end. “Hm? What do you think?” I ask when she doesn’t respond.

I get to my door and I unlock it with my keys. ‘I’m su—sure they won’t mind if we start dinner late, right? I want to help you prepare everything. It’s better if I’m already there when they arrive, hm? Please?’ She finally answers after a while. “Love, no, wait. You don’t understand.” I chuckle while shaking my head as if she would see me. “I really don’t mind doing everything myself, this was my idea after all. I have a lot of time from now to do everything until six when they’re here. Do what you got to do there and then come here when you’re done, okay? Don’t worry about anything.” I try to assure her one more time. “I’m not a shy person, I’ll be fine being alone with them for a short while so don’t worry,” I add at the end.

I hear her sigh heavily on the other line. “I can assure you that you don’t have to help me, I want to do this for them. I want to impress them even more, of course. Love, there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore, they like me, right? I’m confident of entertaining and chatting with them alone for a while. Can you let me do that? This dinner really matters to me.” I ask sincerely. This is a good opportunity for me too and I must not be afraid to take it. ‘I know but—Baekhyun, can you just wait for me? I’d rather help you with everything.’ My shoulders fall in disappointment when she still pressed it.

What is the problem?

Why wouldn’t she let me be alone with them?

What’s so wrong with that? I know if she was in my place she’d freak out and probably that’s why she’s worried but I’ve already assured her more than enough that it’s a different case for me. I want to get to know them alone. I am not afraid of them, there’s nothing to be afraid of anything. I’ve met them before and surprisingly, it went well, kind of.

I sit on my couch as I wipe the sweats on my neck. “Noona, please listen to me for a second?” I simply call her, with a more serious tone now. “You’ve been working so much, it’s my day off today so I don’t mind doing it myself and let you relax after work. And again, I will assure you, I don’t mind having them here first. What are you worried about? I’ve met them before, I’ve shared a conversation with them before and everything is settled as you said.” Again, I hear a frustrated sigh from her. “Can you just tell me what’s your real problem here? You’re starting to confuse me, love. I’ve already said that I’m okay with it, right? There’s nothing to worry about, I’m comfortable with them now.” I ask calmly, although I am really starting to worry.

I don’t enjoy arguing with her. I never will.

She clears . ‘I ne—need to get back to work. Just … fine, do whatever you want. I’m sorry for arguing.’ Her voice sounds so weak and I have never heard her talk like that to me. Anxiety quickly builds up inside. I was about to say something when she hangs up on me. I stare at my phone in disbelief. “Wh—what?” I frown at my phone, my eyebrows creasing to the center.

I drop my phone on the couch before pressing my warm palms against my damp face. I feel so uneasy all of a sudden. I don’t like this feeling at all. I take in a deep breath as I try to suppress the urge to call her again. I just made her upset and I don’t even know how I did. I then clasp my hands together in a tight ball as I place them against my mouth. I begin blowing air in my hands to calm myself down. My leg begins jerking from unease as I turn to my phone again.

Not being able to take it anymore, I grab it to call her back. “Come on, pick up.” I close my eyes tightly as I listen to it ring. I exhale heavily when she answers within the third ring. ‘I’m—I’m sorry, I was just … I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hang up.’ Her voice is shaky and scared. I put a hand on my temples as I breathe heavily. “It’s fine, it just … worried me. Can you just tell me what’s really bothering you?” I ask faintly as I try to control myself from sounding too desperate. ‘Let’s just stick to the plan then if that’s what you really want to do, just … call me if you need anything, okay? And please call me when they get there?’ She sounds more defeated this time. I hesitantly nod. “Uh—okay.” I mutter as I look down.

She’s not telling me something, I can feel it from the tone of her voice.

I just can’t figure out what it is.

‘Alright … I love you.’ She tells me and I feel my chest easing down from what she said. I blow one last air into my cheeks as I nod again. “I know, I love you too. Bye.” I end the call first before leaning on the couch. Okay, I need to start moving. Ignoring the negative rush that came into me from that mild fight I had with my girlfriend, I make my way straight to my kitchen to get started cleaning first.

When I’m done tidying up, I go straight to the bathroom to take a shower. I know that I’m still going to cook but I don’t want to finish the meal way too early so I’m just going to get ready now. I can always change my clothes anytime, so I don’t mind cooking after I get ready.

Tonight, I am making my signature steak for the four of us. I am also making cream pasta and bake some stuffed potatoes, for more options. I hope they will like my cooking. I am nervous about that.

Time sure is fast when you’re busy from left to right. I am almost done with everything. Pasta sauce is done, pasta is cooking. Potatoes are baking and I’m about to start cooking the steak. It’s already ten to six and I am just waiting for Dohee to text me if they’re here already. I need to come and get them downstairs. I don’t want to just buzz them in, I don’t think it’s too respectful. I want to welcome them as gentlemanly as possible into my home.

Just in time, I receive a text from Dohee and she says they’re already parking downstairs. I quickly halt my cooking for now and I remove my apron. “O