Why did you stop?!

Previously:

‘Junsu is right... I need to talk to him...’ 

************ 

“Ugh... Where am I?” 

Jaejoong opened his heavy stinging eyes... hearing heavy knocking and the doorbell, woke him up looking around finding himself on the floor of the living room in the cabin. 

‘Who would come at this hour?’ 

Jaejoong asked trying to stand up without putting weight on his foot.  

“Who is this?” 

He shouted as he reached the cabin door, the events of the night still fresh in his head. 

“It’s Santa Claus!” 

‘YUnho!’ 

‘He is back!!’ 

Jaejoong’s heartbeat picked up hearing the other’s voice, as he opened the door. 

“Hello, Jaejoong...” 

Yunho said as their eyes met, seeing the other still dressed gave him some courage knowing he was still up, not missing the red swollen eyes. 

“I know it’s very late... but... can I come in?” 

“Oh, yes... come in...” 

Jaejoong blushed knowing he was staring at the other not answering. 

“Would you like coffee? Tea?” 

“Tea is good...” 

“Ok... I’ll be right back...” 

“Do you need help?” 

Yunho said watching the blushing man hop to the kitchen. 

“No, it’s alright... I’ll be back in a few...” 

Jaejoong took a deep breath, making tea and putting some of the other’s favorite biscuits in a plate. 

“Here you go...” 

He said as he limped back to the living room slowly, carrying the tray... his eyes watching the other sitting on the couch deep in thought, it was dark, Jaejoong saw that it was 3 a.m., he didn’t turn on the lights when he came back, but the fire was enough to fill the room with light. 

“I’m sorry Yunho... I’ve made wrong assumptions... upon what I’ve heard… and... I... I am truly sorry!”  

Jaejoong started as he entered the room, seeing Yunho get up walking to him to take the tray and lay it on the table, looking back to the other meeting his eyes. 

“You believe me then?” 

Yunho asked with a serious face, sending waves of shivers down the other’s back. 

“Of course, I do!” 

“I realized that... maybe I expected more from you than I should... I mean... you were with a group of people whom you’ve just met... and you heard some blabbering from them which of course would make you think like that... especially after what happened with you...” 

Yunho sighed putting his hands in his pockets tiredly, looking down. 

“The thing is... my personal life... well... is personal... It’s no one’s business... I hate when people talk about it... It concerns no one but me...” 

Jaejoong swallowed hard, his mind taking everything the other said, as his eyes watched the handsome face show some discomfort talking about this. 

‘Gosh, he is so handsome... I want to touch his face...’ 

That thought sent the other’s heartbeat over the roof, he knew how attracted he was to the other... and the more he got to know him... the more he got fascinated... but he wasn’t sure yet of this handsome man has any real interest in him... feeling the emotions rile up in his chest he looked at the other whom sat back down taking a sip of his tea. 

“You were right... You said that I believed what I wanted to believe...” 

Sitting down beside him nervously, knowing he needs to make things clear. 

“Actually... I was scared... hearing what was said made me think of Hyunjoong betrayal... and I can’t face this again... what I want to say is... I’m not sure I’m ready for a... a new.... um... friendship...” 

Jaejoong knew he sounded dumb, especially after he heard the other’s reply. 

“I think we both know, that what in my mind is not a friendship...” 

With blushing cheeks, the paler man looked away... 

‘He is saying it, loud and clear... he wants to be with me...’ 

‘But, what if I did agree to be with him and it didn’t work out?... would I survive this?’ 

‘Heechul and Taemin said no one is going to replace Jessica... he will always go back to her... What if they are right...?’ 

Thoughts races in his head, knowing that he needs to stop this, looking up meeting the other’s tired eyes that were watching him... 

“The thing is...” 

Jaejoong started not knowing what to say. 

“The thing is... um...” 

“What is that thing?” 

Yunho asked feeling impatient. 

“From what I heard... They said you had a lot of relationships after Jessica... and that’s alright and I’m not saying it’s a problem... as many are ok with such relationships, however...” 

Jaejoong said before taking a deep breath swallowing hard. 

“However?” 

“I am not like that... It won’t work for me... I’ll end up hurt again... I know myself... and...” 

Yunho was looking at him with soft eyes and an easy face. 

“It is still early for me to even think about this... um... I mean... You are amazing, Yunho... and you will meet a lot of people ahead...” 

Jaejoong said standing up limping around nervously. 

“You can be with whomever you want... and I’m sure he or she would be so lucky... but... I... I’m not...” 

“You... are amazing!” 

Yunho said standing up walking to the other pulling him to his chest. 

‘God...’ 

Jaejoong thought feeling his body tingling with warmth, feeling his head spin... looking up meeting two gentle almond eyes, and a smile on the bow shaped lips. 

“Jaejoong-ah” 

Yunho whispered pulling him closer, feeling the other’s arms wrap around his shoulders. 

‘Why does he make me feel this way?’ 

‘Why does he have that much effect on me?’ 

‘Why can’t I say no to him...?’ 

‘With Hyunjoong, hugs just felt pleasant when I was in the mood... but this... this is the type of hugs I read about in romantic novels... mind blowing... addictive...’ 

Jaejoong thought as his hands moved up to the other’s hair, caressing it as the hug tightened... the other’s scent driving him crazy... their attraction to each other was undeniable... he felt thirsty for the other, he wanted more... he wanted to feel the other more. 

Those thoughts made his body tremble in need. 

“Jae...” 

Yunho whispered feeling the other shivers... lifting his head up from the brown hair, seeing his face, doe eyes were closed, cheeks were blushing and his red lips were apart as his breaths quickened. 

Feeling the hot breathes on his face, Jaejoong opened his eyes slowly to meet the other brown ones. 

‘His hug... feels amazing...I want more...’ 

That thought woke him up from his fantasy, his eyes going wide in panic, making the other sigh. 

“And there you go again...” 

Yunho said with disappointment, letting the other go as he felt him push away. 

“What?” 

“Thinking, instead of feeling...”  

“What’s wrong with thinking things through... I thought it is important in your job...” 

Jaejoong said chuckling awkwardly, trying to joke around to lessen the discomfort he felt. 

“There is always a place and time for everything...” 

“Yunho...” 

Jaejoong called tiredly sitting back on the couch watching the other standing still with his hands in his pockets. 

“I know... I know... you are not ready... it’s early for you to get in a new relationship... we live different lives... isn’t it?” 

“Yes...” 

Jaejoong answered, his body shivering wanting to feel the other’s arms around him again. 

“Jaejoong-ah... are you aware that, if I didn’t stop... we would be still carried away in passion by now...” 

"P-pa-passion?!!"

Embarrassed by what the other said, knowing how true it was... feeling angry at himself for being so affected. 

“Then why did you stop?!” 

Palming his mouth looking at the taller man horrified by his words. 

“Jaejoong-ah...” 

Yunho called sighing. 

“There is a time and a place for everything... we are strongly attracted to each other, and you can’t deny that... we both know where this is going... however... you need to accept me first... before anything happens...or you are going to get hurt...” 

‘He is saying that he wants us to be together, and it’s just a matter of time...what am I going to do now? Didn't he listen to what I said earlier?!’ 

Jaejoong thought staring back at the other worried. 

“I can’t believe you are saying this...” 

“Why?” 

Yunho asked walking to the Tray picking a biscuit, before looking up at the other smiling. 

“You want a biscuit?” 

‘A biscuit! Is he serious?!’ 

Jaejoong thought feeling more stressed. 

“You can’t just ignore what I said like that!” 

He said looking away. 

“I didn’t... I took in all of what you said... but I tend to speak out the truth which you always object upon...” 

‘I can’t believe this guy... fine... he said I need to accept him first and he will have to wait... a couple of days left before I go back and it’s going to end... he is right, this attraction can’t be denied, it’s dangerous and I must be careful... All I need is to stall until I go back...’ 

Jaejoong thought.  

“Yes...” 

“Excuse me?” 

Yunho looked at him confused. 

“I said yes... I’d like a biscuit...” 

Jaejoong said smiling at the other whom chuckled handing him a biscuit.