~Jisung POV~
I didn't want Minho hyung to talk about that now. I told hyung not to talk about it but it's been bugging my mind for the past hour. I couldn't understand why i was holding back this much. If hyung understood me for hiding my injuries, then he should be okay with me hiding this too. But the fear in my mind was so strong, as strong as the voices that used to rule my mind. Used to...?

'Do you finally realize how much of a burden you are?'

It was back. The voice was back. I felt my hair stand as my body shook. 

The other members were in their rooms and Changbin hyung was in the kitchen. Minho hyung and Hyunjin were nowhere in sight.

'Why bother them? You should have just listened to me.'

Tears filled my eyes and i curled into myself.

'End yourself.'

Hot tears spilled from my eyes. I couldn't hold them in anymore. The thoughts invaded my mind, infecting every corner with the venom. 

Warm arms pulled me in and held me, rocking me back and forth, slowly patting my head and rubbing my back as i sobbed into their chest. Their chest happened to be Hyunjin's as i heard him whisper to me.

"It's okay Sungie. I'm here. The voices are mean things. They don't tell the truth. Don't listen to them."

"All i t-thought about w-was...if or w-when i should tell M-Minho hyung...that i'm s-supposed to be his b-brother..."

Hyunjin hushed me and held me closer. That's when the voices went silent.

"Sung?" Changbin hyung's voice sounded worried, his footsteps getting closer.

"Bin 'yungie..." i looked up at Changbin hyung, sobbing harder into Hyunjin's chest.

"Sung, what's wrong? Hyung is here. Jinnie is here. We're all here. Do you want hyung to get anyone?" 

I shook my head. I didn't want anyone else to see me in this state, especially not Minho hyung. Not today, not right now. I went for my instincts and reached my arms out to Changbin hyung who took me from Hyunjin's arms. I could still feel Hyunjin's warm hand rubbing my back gently. Changbin hyung cradled me and looked at me straight in the eyes, slowly brushing my fringe to the side, never breaking eye contact.

"You know hyung will never hurt you, right?"

'He will hurt you'

I unintentionally broke eye contact with Changbin hyung. My hand gripped onto his shirt.

"Sung, look at me. Listen to me. Only listen to hyung's voice."

I nodded, locking eye contact with Changbin hyung again. He held my other arm and rubbed it in a protective manner.

"You know hyung will never hurt you, right?"

I hummed.

"Hyung will get you through this, but hyung needs your help."

"What h-help...?"

"Tell hyung when they talk to you, then hyung will save you from that abyss. Okay?"

"Mmn...y-yeah..."

Changbin hyung held me in the silence, still looking into my eyes as i stare into his. Hyunjin still sat beside us, holding my hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. I reached my hand up to touch Changbin hyung's face.

"It's warm...hyung is real..."

Changbin hyung and Hyunjin giggled.

"Did you think this was a dream? That'll be nice. To have it in reality and dream about it. At least, Sung will know he's loved all around the clock."

"I knew Bin hyung and Jinnie were real...it's just...doubts..." i pouted. 

I knew very well how my anxiety and the voices worked together to tear me to shreds. I knew how it didn't make sense of how the mind games were played in my mind. I knew...

Changbin hyung gently ran his fingers through my hair, still staring deep into my eyes, as if he wanted to read me. Hyunjin sat closer to us and held my hand firmly.

"It's okay to have doubts, Sung. I exist to clear them. Jinnie exists to clear them. Once you have been liberated from your thoughts, our mission will be complete."

"Then...will you leave me alone...?"

"No. I'll still be here for you, Sung. Always here for you."

"Until the end...?"

"Until the end." Changbin hyung nodded as he smiled warmly.

The warmth spread to my chest as i felt the care and love i was receiving from them. For my heart, it wasn't hard to believe that it was true. It was my mind, it was always my mind. My mind doubted every kind or caring action from the members, or anyone even. My heart wanted to stop the doubt, but my mind had always won that game.

"Sungie?"

"Yes, Jinnie?"

"Do you wanna nap for the rest of the day? Or do you have any other ideas in mind?"

"I don't know. I don't really wanna move. This position is really comfortable and warm."

"Sung just called me warm. I think i'm gonna cry."

"Is it that rare?"

"Yes." they said simultaneously, causing me to giggle at the sight.

Changbin hyung made a fake crying face before suddenly brightening up, looking back down at me.

"Uh oh, Bin hyung has an idea. Run Jinnie."

"I shall prepare to run." Hyunjin gasped as he moved into a starting position for a sprint.

"Hey~ i was just thinking. Since, you don't really wanna see Minho hyung or anyone other than us for that matter, right?"

I nodded, brows furrowing in confusion.

"Then, come to my room. We can chill and relax in there together. Jinnie can come too."

"Channie hyung..." i muttered, worried about how Chan hyung would react if he saw my puffy red eyes.

"Chan hyung is with Seungmin, they went out to the store to get things. I can text him to stay out of the room."

My head was lost in thoughts. I wondered hard if i should let Chan hyung in like i let them in. I feared how Chan hyung's reaction would be. He already had to deal with me having the first downfall in front of him. I didn't want to hurt Chan hyung's feelings again. I didn't want to...

"You know Chan hyung won't react badly, right?" Changbin hyung said it in a way of reassurance and not a question.

I nodded.

"Let's go to your room, hyung. With Jinnie."

"Mmn okay." Changbin hyung prepared to pull me up before i gripped his arm.

"And Channie hyung..."

"I'll tell him." he smiled as he lifted me up and carried me.

Hyunjin shuffled me hair and giggled.

I love days like this.