~Changbin POV~
-Still 2 Years Ago-
I decided to go to sleep and talk to Jisungie after we're both awake. Chan hyung decided to stay awake a while longer to produce the tunes that suddenly popped into his head "Bin ah, i'll keep it down but you can go to sleep first. I'll stay up for a while longer, the tunes are coming in. Tell me if i'm too noisy, i'll go out." i nodded as we said our goodnights and i drifted off to sleep.

I awoke to light snores to my side and i faced it to see Chan hyung napping on the chair with his laptop still on his lap. I stretch and walked over to place his laptop on the table and covered him with my jacket that was hanging on my chair. I walked to the kitchen and reached into the fridge for a bottle of water. I stood there mindlessly chugging the cold water. Out of nowhere, i felt something tug on my shirt. I turned around to reveal a tired-looking Jisungie, eyes fixated on his fingers which were holding on to my shirt. I returned the bottle to its' place, and turned back around to Jisungie "Sung ah? What's wrong? Can't sleep?"

"Mmn...nightmare...i hit the floor...and h-hyung..." Jisungie started choking up with tears "h-hyung stood there and said...that i deserved it..." i pulled him into a hug and used my hand to guide his face onto my shoulder to avoid him choking up more, in case he goes into detail of the nightmare. I rubbed his back and hummed into his ear until he mumbles "Bin hyung won't ever think like that right?"

"No, Sung ah. Bin hyung loves and cares about you. Bin hyung won't ever think like that." Jisungie lifted his face from my shoulder and looked at me.
"Thanks hyung...i really need you" Jisungie hugged me one last time, said our goodnights, and went back to sleep. I felt relieved that he came and told me about it so that i could at least tell him that it wasn't true and so i could comfort him. That too had made me relax, knowing that i resolved it. So i went back to bed with a calm mind, fully relaxed, and fell asleep again.

Later on in Chan hyung and my room...

Chan hyung was awake and was now going on a producing frenzy, clicking away without hesitation. Jisungie was at my table scribbling down his 8 versions of the lyrics he thought of, while occassionally tapping his fingers on the table to make the beat as he mouthed out the rap. I was attempting to write out my lyrics while on my bed. I looked down at my notebook, only two words written. I couldn't think of the appropriate way to lay the words down, and i had gotten stuck on the words "What if"

My fingers tapped impatiently on my knee as i unintentionally halt my thinking process. I looked back up at Jisungie who already looked like he was about to think of the 120th version, then back down at my own notebook.

'Pathetic' a voice drowned with poison echoed through my mind. It sent chills down my spine. Never have i once experienced an invisible unknown source of sound fill my head. It frightened me but it drowned me. 'Why can't you think of anything, you useless trash. Look at Jisung, so productive and hard working. Look at yourself, pathetic. You aren't trying hard enough. You aren't enough for them.'

I snapped out of the trance when i felt something shaking my thigh. I looked up to see Jisungie squatting on the floor in front of me while staring at me with a face full of worry. I could feel his fingers tremble a little and i held his hand to assure him i was fine. "I'm okay, Sung ah. Don't worry, it's just that i have a lot on my mind. And i'm stuck on my lyrics." Jisungie hummed in acknowledgement but i could hear his voice shake a bit. He made his way to my side and sat down "Mind to share what you have written? Maybe i can help..." He sounded unsure whether he should offer help to me or not, but i nodded and showed his the two words.

"What if? Hmm..." Jisungie squeezed his eyes close and covered his ears. I was about to ask him what he was doing before he shot his eyes open and looked at me, smiling widely "Bin Hyung, what about writing about saying something and it really happening infront of your eyes. Struggles, emptiness, locked, pain..." Jisungie's eyes dazed off as he bit his bottom lip so hard that it drew blood, eyes still not focused. "Sung!" i shook him and he jolted, releasing his poor lip from his teeth. I dragged him out to the kitchen and made him rinse his mouth with salt-mixed water. He held his mouth with his eyes shut and trembled as he crouched down on the floor, a small whine escaping his lips. "Sorry Sung. I don't wanna risk you getting on infection. Are you okay?"

Jisungie's hands released his mouth and found its way to grab me over to hug "I-I'm so sorry h-hyung...the lyrics is so m-messed up...but t-that was all i c-could think about." he was crying again. Because of me. If only i didn't tell him i was stuck. If only i had written it out faster. If only...

Jisungie tightened his hug and i could hear him mumble through my shirt "It's scary hyung, but don't listen to the voices in your head. They like to guide you down the wrong lane. Resist it. Before it consumes you." his voice shivered "Save yourself...i can't do it..."

"Sungie? It's okay. Hyung is okay. Hyung feels fine now. Don't cry. Do you wanna talk about it?" Jisungie released his hug and pulled me to the living room and we sat there for three hours talking about the deafening voices and how he coped with it. He said once he almost listened to the voice while passing a bridge but Chan hyung hugged him and asked why he stopped walking. Chan hyung was Jisungie's lifeline, and probably still is.

But never had i thought that the young sun had a huge shadow enveloping him as he desperately found ways to distract and help himself.

A lesson he taught me which i never thought i would use to help someone else two years down the road.

Author's Note
Author-nim : Haha, two chapters. Ain't i fun~ The next chapter probably won't come out so fast. Deadlines are coming faster. Enjoy reading~ Peace~