Why Us? (Nahyun)

It had never been a better time for Christmas break

Dahyun had been staying at Nayeon’s since the shooting. The duo had felt somewhat guilty that they hadn’t been hit as hard by the event as their friends had, so the night they’d all gotten back from the hospital Nayeon had come up with the plan to let all the grieving parties stay together. Birds of a feather flock together after all, letting them all grieve together would help them feel okay again. Nayeon’s parents had approved it as they weren’t going to be back for a while. Jihyo and Momo came first, then Jeongyeon followed with Chaeyoung joining once she’d been released. Mina and Momo’s mothers were staying there as well…which was awkward for Nayeon. Mina’s mother didn’t like her much. Even Tzuyu’s sisters were allowed to stay, they spoke very little Korean so Elkie was around to translate.

It was nice for Nayeon to have people in the house and it was good for Dahyun to feel like she was helping her friends. Especially because she felt guilty. Namjoon had warned her that Jimin had something planned, surely she could have intervened - warned someone, anyone! But all she could do was support everyone that fell victim to the event. After the evens yesterday, which had caused not only Momo and Jeongyeon to fall out but also led to Tzuyu possibly being mad at her girlfriend’s for spilling her secrets. Said girl was leaving hospital tomorrow with Jihyo and Momo planning to visit her tonight following a text message from Tzuyu asking why they hadn’t been to see her. They both felt awful but knew that Tzuyu would understand once they had explained everything.

Nayeon couldn’t worry about that though, she was too busy looking after everyone else.

She woke up that morning and immediately went downstairs, with so many people in the house it was difficult for her staff to prepare different meals for different tastes so Nayeon had put herself in charge of preparing the meals for those who didn’t enjoy her usual breakfasts. She’d go down each morning and cook up various Japanese and Taiwanese/Chinese recipes she’d found online the night before, following by heaps of pancakes for Momo and coffee for Jihyo and Chaeyoung. It was interesting for her since she had always been a woman of privilege. Nayeon had grown up with everything she wanted just a click of her fingers away. Actually having to cook and look after people gave her a lot more respect for the staff her parents employed.

She was never mean to them again.

Once everyone had come down to eat they began doing what they always did during the day. Momo would lay in bed, counting down the hours until Tzuyu was released from the hospital. During the day Dahyun would go in and check on her, she’d put on the TV so at least Momo would have something to focus on. Occasionally, the noise or the comedy programme itself would lift the dancers spirit so that she’d head downstairs to be social. On those occasions Jihyo would take her out for a walk or a date, at night Dahyun knew they would lay in bed and grieve together but during the day they were mostly apart.

Jihyo would spend all her time running round for everyone else, making sure they were all okay. She kept busy, it was how she coped. When the final fatalities list went on the news Jihyo nearly cleaned a hole into Nayeon’s dining room table. Six had died in the end, one of which was Namjoon and another was a close friend of Chaeyoung’s called Chungha. Both could have had amazing futures but unfortunately neither would be able to do it. The idea of never seeing the faces of those who had died again, hit home for the group. Sure they didn’t know most of them but it had still been a face in the crowd they would no longer see. It was sad.

Every time Jihyo would be fretting for the others or cleaning, Nayeon would approach her and try to get her to rest. The only way she could get Jihyo to do things was to make her think she was doing it for someone else, for example to get her to eat Nayeon had said that her father would scold the staff for cooking to much food as it would be a waste to through out. Jihyo, ever a president of the people, would take it upon herself to eat the “wasted food”. When she hadn’t slept in a while, Nayeon would approach and tell her Momo needed to be comforted. Jihyo would immediately go and cuddle her. It hurt Nayeon to know her best friend would put everyone else’s needs above herself but that was what she also loved about her.

Jihyo had always looked after Nayeon, now it was time for Nayeon to return the favour. She even managed to keep her and Jeongyeon separate, following their argument they weren’t speaking. Momo and Jihyo had been staying away from Jeongyeon and in relation Chaeyoung who obviously wasn’t going to leave her girlfriend’s side. Dahyun had been taking care of those two, Jeongyeon was still working through a lot of anger and frustration. It wasn’t aimed at Tzuyu, not really, it just helped to pin the blame on someone. That’s what was sad, the fact that Jeongyeon could throw away a perfectly good friendship due to an event that was nobodies fault but the perpetrator. Dahyun played the middle-man, passing through anything that one needed the other to know. It was stressful at times.

Dahyun also worked to help Chaeyoung with her art, Jeongyeon and herself had decided to pool their money together and buy her a massive Lego set. This meant that Chaeyoung could build whatever she wanted without fear of being unable to use her dominant hand. She and Chaeyoung would spend hours building something Jeongyeon prompted and having her judge which one was better. Of course the elder girl was biased so Chaeyoung always won but it kept both girls in high spirits and that’s what Dahyun wanted.

Sana and Mina didn’t really need a lot from Dahyun and Nayeon. They had each other and Ms Myoui was still there so she could look after them. Ms Hirai was staying with Ms Park now, the two mothers deciding to take this unfortunate incident and turn it into a bonding experience. Sana’s main problem was that this was the first major thing she’d come up against without her parents. Ms Myoui and Ms Hirai had both separately contacted her family to let them know what had happened and that she had been shot. Other than a card sent to the house by her mother (and only her mother) Sana hadn’t heard from them. She actually found solace in Nayeon for this.

Nayeon’s parents were rarely home, meaning that the older girl had been forced to deal with quite a lot all by herself. Sure she had staff to feed her and her parents always kept a rather extravagant roof over her head, but sometimes she just wanted her mother to hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay. It had been midnight a few days ago where they both found themselves in the living room, Sana was thinking over everything and Nayeon was getting a glass of water. They had talked for hours about how much they wanted their parents in that moment, it was a big step for them. They had never gotten along due to the short time Nayeon and Mina had dated, it was a bright side to the situation.

And all they could search for at the moment were bright sides.

After spending all day helping their friends through their grief and arguments and problems and misery, Nayeon and Dahyun would finally go to bed. Once their bedroom door was closed they wouldn’t have to deal with anyone but each other. Nayeon didn’t mind it though, she liked helping the people that had done so much to help her and Dahyun…she just felt guilt eating her up. Not just because of the Namjoon thing, they both felt guilty that this hadn’t affected them the same way it had done their friends. They’d been able to hug each other straight after, neither of them had been stuck in hospital, neither had been hurt. That night as they lay in bed together, cuddled up, the thoughts for some reason wouldn’t leave them.

“What if he’d skipped the music building?” Nayeon asked suddenly,

“Huh?”

“When you leave the main building you have two choices: the music building and the languages building. One or two. Yes or yes. What if he had chosen the science building? Chaeyoung would have been safe…”

“But you probably wouldn’t…Jeongyeon wouldn’t.” Dahyun replied, “There’s no point wondering what if’s, what happened…just….happened.”

“Is it bad that I’m glad he didn’t?” Nayeon asked,

“Of course not.”

“It’s not that I like Chaeyoung being hurt,” Nayeon explained, “It’s just…I was so scared. It was like at any moment I’d hear a bang and that’d be it!”

“So did I…” Dahyun trailed off for a moment, “But everyone’s alive, that’s all that matters.”

“Not everyone though,” Nayeon couldn’t drop it, “Namjoon’s not, Chungha’s not, Seulgi is still unconscious…”

Dahyun turned to her, “But you’re okay, that’s all that matters to me.”

“Why were we okay? I hate feeling guilty, like the fact I’m not suffering isn’t fair to those who are.”

“They don’t feel like that. I nearly lost my best friend, it hurt…like physically hurt. But if it had been you…I wouldn’t wish that sort of pain on my worst enemy.”

Nayeon kissed her softly, a thank you. Dahyun looked into her eyes once they parted and felt all her guilt crash into her, she couldn’t keep this quiet any more. Tears spilt out and almost immediately Nayeon panicked and pulled her into her arms, cradling her. She hushed her gently and when Dahyun was ready, word vomit came out.

“I need to tell you something….”

And Dahyun told her everything, about Namjoon saving her, about him asking to speak to her and what he told her. Everything. They were up all night talking about it, Nayeon reassured her she shouldn’t feel guilty. A few people knew that something was going on, but nobody could have anticipated what happened. The conversation did a lot to ease Dahyun’s worries…only the next day CCTV was on the news from the school. It was nothing gruesome, but they recognised some faces. The group gathered round the television, watching the footage of Namjoon trying to talk him down, Sana pleading for Mina’s life, Herbert taking a bullet for Ms Song, Chaeyoung fleeing the practice room….Tzuyu flicking her cigarette and facing him. As the clips played on every channel, Jihyo tried to call Tzuyu. When the girl didn’t pick up she tried the hospital…

“Hello Seoul Hospital, how can I help you?”

“I need to speak with Chou Tzuyu. Can you ask her to contact Park Jihyo?”

“I’m very sorry Ms Park but Chou Tzuyu checked out this morning….”

Wait….what?