Shinee's House

Taemin's POV

 

* Why can't I sleep ? I know, it must be this pillow. *

So, I should be able to sleep after making the pillow comfortable for my head right ? But guess what ? I can't !

* Darn ! Why am I not feeling sleepy ? *

I tossed my body and tossed again and again until the moon rays caught my eyes.

“ Aah, it's because of the curtain. Stupid me. “

Quickly I walked towards the window to pull the curtain, closing any gap that can let the moon rays to slipping in my room before walking back to my comfy bed.

* I know this will make me sleep eventually. *

I know that right now, I was smiling like an idiot for the victory of figuring out the reason for my sudden insomnia but then soon to found out that I am indeed acts like an idiot for even feel proud of those thing. And worst, it shouldn't be consider as a victory either because right now, I still had my eyes wide open, looking at the white ceiling of my room.

“ It's not the pillow ... it's not the curtain either .. then, what is it ? “

I've never thought of feeling so frustrated over this insomnia that I'm currently facing.

“ Aish ! A warm milk will do. “

 

 

* Where's the switch ? Why did they switch off all the lights ? Where is that ... *

“ OUCHHH !! “

“ AARGH ! “

“ WARGHH !! “

“ Who's there ?! “

Seconds after that the light was on made the face of the culprit who just scream at my face visible in my eyes.

“ Aish ! Taemin.. you scares me. “

“ You too. What are you doing here ? In the dark ? “

Seriously, his screams also sounds like a dino to me.

“ I was messaging Luna and feels really sleepy after that. I'm too lazy to go to my room. So here I am. What about you ? “

“ Getting a warm milk. “

With a limping steps, I made my way towards the kitchen, ignoring Jonghyun hyung who's staring at me weirdly.

“ What's up with your leg ? “

I turned to my back, “ I accidentally hit on that ... “ and pointed at the coffee table that was moved from it's place which is caused by me.

Jonghyun hyung just shook his head with a chuckle before adjust the table back to its place.

“ You should switch on the lights ... “

“ I'm trying to .. “

“ Why did you sounds so pissed ? “

* Did I ? *

“ I'm ... not .. “

 

I just continue with pouring the milk in the mug, before putting it inside the microwave to reheat it. Once it was done, I took it out and bring it to the table and not surprised to see Jjong hyung sitting there waiting for me.

 

“ This is mine, you can't have it. “ Playfully I said that to him only to be replied with a pout.

“ Don't be so mean to me Taeminnie ... “

“ Creepy. Don't ever say my name like that again. Here .. have it. “

I rather give away my milk than hearing his Dino's voice calling out my name so sweetly like that.

“ But you like it when Sulli call you with that way ... “

He gave a mischievous smiles before took a couple of sips of my warm milk.

“ It sounds different with an Angel and a Dino's voice hyung ... “

“ So Sulli is like an angel huh ? Hey ... that Dino is me right ? “

I just shrugged my shoulder trying my best to control my laughter.

“ Why are you still up ? “

“ I can't sleep. That's why I'm having this milk. “

“ Why can't you sleep ? “

“ I don't know. “

“ It's because of Sulli maybe ? “

I looked at him and back to my drink, “ No. “

“ Sure it's not. Why should it be her ? She's completely fine with Sehun right now and not with some psycho out there. There's no way you will feel bothered by it right ? “

Jjong hyung's words sounds so sarcasm in my ears and that cause me to looked back at his face where his infamous smirked was flashed for me.

“ Fine. It's Sulli. “

“ I knew it. You can't fool me with that face of yours. So shoot. “

“ Is she home ? “

“ Why don't you ask her ? “

“ I did but she didn't reply to my message. “

“ I'm sure Vic noona will kill Sehun if he didn't send Sulli home by this time. “

I looked at the clock where he had pointed at and was surprised to see that it's already  pointed at 1.

“ Are you sure ? “

“ She must be tired from the whole date thing. “

“ I guess so ... “

“ Hey, aren't both of you gonna head to her halmeoni's house tomorrow ? What's with the sour face ? You'll see her then ... “

“ Yeah, hope she can make it ... “

 

The silence suddenly took over the atmosphere making me looking away from my drink towards Jonghyun hyung who's right now were staring at me, worriedly ? I'm not sure though and I don't have any intention to question him either because I just think it wasn't needed until, “ Hey Taem .. “

“ Yeah ? “

“ You can tell me you know ... “

“ Hmm ? “

“ The things that is bothering you ... you can tell me ... “

“ What are you talking about ? “

“ I know you'll feel more comfortable if it is Onew hyung but he's not here ... and I'm the one who's older among you guys after him ... so, you can also come to me whenever you need me. “

 

He's right, I've never felt comfortable to talk about my problem with him. Whenever I have one, I will always go to Onew hyung or maybe Key hyung since we are closer and sometimes I will seek for Minho hyung's advice but never to Jonghyun hyung. It's not that we are not close with each others, in fact we are brothers, all of them are. It's just maybe because of his playful personality that makes me feel weary. But hearing him just now makes me feels guilty inside.

 

“ Sorry hyung ... is not that I'm not comfortable with you ... It's just ... “

“ I'm not serious enough isn't it ? “

“ Well ... “

“ Just remember this Taem, you can always count on me in anything ... I'm still the hyung, so I can act like one whenever it needed in fact all of us are the same. Just because I'm always playing around doesn't mean I don't know anything. “

“ I'm so sorry ... I've made you feels offended. “

While patting my head he say, “ I will feel more offense if you're not start talking about it ... “

“ You're a pusher. “

“ Yah ! I told you to start talking about it ... “

“ Alright. I'm talking ... “

He is a pusher. Ha-ha.

“ You know those pact that Sulli and I had made ? “

“ Yup, clearly. “

“ Well, I started to feels like ... hate it. “

Hesitantly I took a glance at him and was surprised to see there's no glimpse of he is surprise with it.

“ Why do you hate it ? “ He asked calmly.

“ There's this insecurities that made me feels that way. “

“ Insecure of what ? “

“ I'm not sure tho but I do feels like ... I'm going to lose her. I started to feels that it was such a bad idea to have those pact at the first place because if it wasn't because of that, Sulli can always be by my sides but now ... “

“ It was ridiculous. “

“ Huh ? “

“ I wasn't a bad idea but it was ridiculous. That's what I thought. To let someone that you love to be with someone else, I think that was really a stupid thing to do. “

“ But hyung, I can't keep my best friend always with me. It's called selfish. Maybe, I'm just not use of seeing her with other guy, I mean in such way. That's why I felt empty. “

“ I wasn't said it in the form of friendship Taem, but it was the other way round. Don't you realize ? You love her more than just as a friend. “

I was stunned for a moment when the words ' Love ' coming out Jjong hyung's mouth.

“ Woah ! Where is that coming from ? I'm not in ... “

“ Little that you know, you just did. “

“ Hyung, come back to your sense. Are you sure you're not sleepy ? “

“ Listen to me Taem. Why did you think you're being so protective over her ? Why are you happy to be with her ? What makes you think you're afraid of losing her if she just only a friend for you ? And what's the real deal of you're still staying single until now even though girls were swarm over you ? “

I looked at him in puzzled. This is not the things that I've expected to come out. This is just too extreme for my brain. What did he said ? I love ... love .. Aish ! I can't even say it.

“ Don't ever think I know nothing. Oh, I knew it well Taem. In fact everyone does. Well, maybe only Sulli who is clueless about this. How many girls have you rejected in these time ? “

* How did he ... ? *

“ Oh, how about Jiyoung ? Both of you are quite steady in the beginning and almost get together but it's slowly falling. “

“ J-Jiyoung ? “

“ You might think you had fooled everyone else but not us, your hyungs. “

* No one knew about my past with Jiyoung. None of my classmates either. We promised to keep it only with us. But how did ... Wait ! It was happened back in 2009. Jjong hyung wasn't even there on that year. *

“ But, you're not even here when it happened. “

“ Err ... Fine. Key had slipped it out to me. Tsk, can't you let me look cool for a moment ? Oh wait. You do admit it was true right ? “

How can I even deny it either. I've been caught off guard.

“ Key hyung ??! And how the heck he know about that anyway ? “

“ Don't you know Key ? He can be a paparazzi sometimes. He happened to be there when you're talking with Jiyoung back then. “

“ Talking about what ? “

 

End of Taemin's POV

 

[ Flashback – Year of 2009 ]

 

“ Hey, I thought you can't make it. “

“ Sorry, I was stuck with Key hyung. So what's up ? “

“ Nothing. I just want to spend some time with you. It's been hard these days since you're always with Sulli. “

“ Well, sorry but I have to. I don't want her to suspect anything later on. “

“ Why can't she ? ”

“ Huh ? “

“ I mean ... err ... “

“ Jiyoung ? “

“ What I'm trying to say here is ... We've been doing this for almost 2 months. I know that we're still in the stage of knowing each other and we're not even an official but, don't you think it's better to let them know ? “

 

Taemin was frozen with her words. He was blank because never had crossed in his minds to do what Jiyoung asked. To him, it wasn't the right time, yet. They were not an item, they are still far away from that but yes, they do have something for each other but it wasn't that intense until they need to be called as a lover. At least that's what Taemin had thought after all these time but not Jiyoung.

 

“ I'm sorry, but Jiyoung ... don't you think it's too early ? “

“ Let me ask you something Team. Do you really like me the way I do ? Or it was just a crush ? “

“ Jiyoung ... “

“ Answer me. “

“ I .. I don't really know. I do like you. Believe me, I didn't lied about that but ... “

“ The feelings wasn't strong enough right ? “

There was a slight silence in between them with Jiyoung looking at Taemin while he was avoiding her eyes.

“ Tell me the truth Taem ... it's alright if it hurt me now than later. “

“ I'm sorry. I've tried but sometimes I do feel empty when I'm with you and I don't know why is it happening thought I know I do like you. “

“ Could it be because of someone else ? “

“ No. There's no such thing. “

 

Jiyoung were in the urge of crying but she held it for the best. She don't want to look weak in front of Taemin because she don't want him to get worry. She knew from the beginning that she can't have a high expectation from Taemin. She knew that deep inside there's someone else that has steals his heart but she still want to try it out and there it was shown that she wasn't wrong at the first place.

 

“ I guess, it wasn't going to work for us huh ? “

Taemin just kept silent looking so guilty at Jiyoung.

“ At least, I have a good times in these two months. Thanks to you. “

“ Jiyoung, I'm really sorry. “

She just smiles, a fake smiles precisely.

“ I'll better get back home. I'll see you tomorrow ? “

Slowly, she headed her way leaving Taemin in guilty by himself.

“ Taemin, don't worry. I don't mad at you. “ Shouts Jiyoung before she sprinted away from the school building.

 

______________

 

“ Please don't cry. Please you can't cry. Umma will get worry if she see you like this. “

Mumbled Jiyoung all by herself while trying her best to stops the tears that seems like don't wanna stop falling.

“ Just cry Jiyoung, you'll feel better. “

That startled her badly and immediately making her turned to her back where she only met, “ Key oppa ? “

She turned back and quickly wiped up her eyes.

 

“ I'm doing the right thing right oppa ? “

She asked while Key just smiled at her before patted her head.

“ You're really kind Jiyoung and I'm sure you'll find someone better than Taemin. In fact, you just 15 and pretty, I'm sure there are guys lining up for you out there. “

“ Aigoo, I was flattered by your words oppa. “

They just enjoying their sodas before Jiyoung started to talk again, “ Isn't it obvious  that he likes his own best friend ? “

He just laughed it off while nodding to her words.

“ I think it just started. That's why he can't really feel it. “

“ Babo. He will lose her if he is so slow. Oh, oppa. Promise me not to tell anyone about this arasso ? It's our secret. “

She throw out her pinky finger which makes Key to chuckle, “ Pinky promise ? Arasso. “

“ I'm serious. “

“ Fine. I promised. “

 

The day after, both Taemin and Jiyoung meet up once again since they're a classmates so it can't be helped. They do feel awkward at first but after some time, they slowly adapted to the situation, becoming the friends once again, just like how they initially are. Surprisingly, none of the classmates has suspected anything in between them since they did a great job of pulling an act but of course there is one person here who's realized the weirdness which is Sulli, since she's the closest to Jiyoung and Taemin, beside Suzy of course. But later on, after been convinced by Jiyoung, tells that was just her imagination, Sulli decides to let it pass. Maybe, what had Taemin felt was a true, their feelings wasn't strong enough for each other because that's why they managed to adapt to the situation well, in just around 2 weeks and even become closer than before. And so, they decided to just keep the secret in between them because both of them thought it wasn't a necessary for others to know since they're afraid of their continuous interrogation.

 

[ End of Flashback ]

 

“ What nonsense ! I don't like Sulli. Jiyoung just making up things. “

Protested Taemin looking so unsatisfied to Jonghyun.

“ Why do you think she mentions her name ? “

“ I don't know. Maybe because I was always with Sulli ? “

“ Ok, I'm not sure whether she thinks the same as I am but for me, you seems more alive with Sulli around. “

“ That's because she always pulling off her jokes. “

“ Can you just listen to me for a sec ? “

Taemin just rolled his eyes which makes him almost receive a smack from Jonghyun.

“ What I'm trying to say here is, the only person that can make you happy is Sulli. She was like everything to you. “

Jonghyun's words has made him to think and slowly he started to feels that it does makes sense.

“ What makes you think you're afraid of losing her if she just only a friend for you ? “

  * Sulli is meant a lot to me. She is the person that I treasure the most. But does that mean I love her in a way a guy should be ? *

“ I'm sure there is this feelings deep inside you. You just don't realize it yet. Why do you think we always teases both of you if not because we realizes the sparks in between you and her ? “

“ H-hyung, what do you say here .. I just can't completely take it. It's too sudden. “

“ I'm not trying to burden you with this Taem but I just want you to think. I'm trying to help you figuring out your true feelings for Sulli. If it wasn't now, I don't think you'll find another chance later on. Just took a moment to seriously think about it. Don't let your friendship to stops you from having a feelings for her. That's ridiculous. “

“ Why are you saying this hyung ? You're pushing me towards Sulli ? “

“ I just think it's a stupid thing to do to let go the one that you love. I've faced it once Taem, and I almost lost Luna with my stupidity but I was given the second chance to amend it. I'm sure you know what happened between us right ? And I'm seeing the person I am on that time inside you right now. “

 

Taemin couldn't even utter a word. It was too difficult to even let those things lingering in his minds. For him, love for Sulli wasn't something that was meant to grow inside him. That was his promised and her'. After all these years, he had taken care of that matter but now suddenly it was ignited in his heart and minds to reconsider about it making his heart to be in a hard situation.

 

* Was it alright to even think about it ? *

“ This talk has become too serious right ? “

Taemin just flashed a weak smiles to the hyung making the one to let out a chuckle.

“ Sorry if I made it more complicated but try to deeply think about it. If you do have something for her, don't be afraid to fight for it and if it's not, well, at least you don't have anything to lose either. “