Jungkook couldn´t find sleep that night. His mind didn´t want to shut up. He began to wander around, ending up sitting at the couch and staring blankly. Letting his brain smash thought after annoying thought right into his face. At times like this he hated it, hated that he overthought everything and couldn´t even get a proper rest.

Music didn´t help him calm down the slightest, he couldn´t concentrate enough to read a book and wasn´t keen of waking his second with switching on the tv. He ended up multiplying every number with itself. Which was an own indicator of how desperate he was as Jungkook just did not do maths.

Luckily it worked. As he had reached 27*27 he simply fell sideways, bouncing on the couch as he crashed onto the groaning fabric.

His dreams were wild and chaotic, confusing. He didn´t sleep well.

Jungkook woke up feeling as tired as the evening prior. It took him some time to realize he laid on the floor. He grumbled, craning his neck and trying to understand what had happened before he sank back to the hard floor.

Above him Yoongi sneered.

"Really now?" 

With great effort Jungkook turned around to look at his hyung sitting on the couch. His couch, where he was supposed to sleep at. "Mnrrrmphn..." He pointed at the couch accusingly, squinting up to his second with one eye.

The not-anymore black-haired guy stared him down unfazed. "What? I need my workspace. You were in the way."

The younger got up in a sitting position with all the little strength he could muster.

"You literally have an own office and an own room, hyung. Why do you have to work on the couch?"

His words maybe would´ve had venom if he weren´t so, so tired.

A mere shrug was his answer before Yoongi turned back to his laptop. "I´m tracking Hoseok right now. Breakfast is in the kitchen. Bring me some water too."

Jungkook huffed but obligued dragging his heavy body to the small room at the end of the hallway.

On the way to his waiting breakfast, after he´d made a few steps and decided he would maybe not die from too much action in the morning - god, was this Yoongi´s way of thinking? How did he end up like this - Jungkook had the idea to get his camera. The steady black material beneath his hands gave him something to be busy, something to fiddle around with.

His cam didn´t leave his side for the rest of the day.

First, the young Blessed shot his cornflakes soaking in cold milk. Then the kitchen tiles from up close, grease spots, sticky dust and killed-but-never-discharged mosquitoues included. The hair on his leg. Every single carpet in the house. Keys. The barrel from his second´s beloved Jenny. Paper stocked in the printer. Tooth brushes. Duct tape. Anything.

"Uhm..."

"What?"

"You are taking pictures from this light switch since half an hour. Should I be worried?"

"No hyung, it´s fine."

"Whatever."

One day passed that way, then two, trapping Jungkook in apathy. He had talked with Yoongi about the woman he´d killed spontaneously but aside from this left him alone. His second was busy making sure Hoseok could drive back to them with no risk, giving him loads of instructions.

Jungkook though? Not busy. Bored. Missing the love of his life. Humming all day to take the edge of his Blessing away. Since that horrible woman had tried to steal his Blessing it didn´t feel the same anymore. He had lost part of the connection, couldn´t grasp the power inside of him that well now anymore. It was like a blanket thrown on it, smearing the edges and shapes. In fact, Jungkook did not know whether he was alright or not. He couldn´t tell. His awareness to his inside was numbed. It lowkey freaked him out.

Okay yes, maybe highkey but he would never admit that to anybody, himself included.

Late in the evening of the third day somebody nestled with the lock of their entrance door. Jungkook´s hand shot to the Kimber in his belt. His second hadn´t said anything about the others arriving so... a burgular? Members from the "Thorned dustwind"? An other gang? He sneaked closer to the door with both hands around the weapon.

There was a firm click and-

"We are baaack", whisper-shouted Hoseok right into Jungkook´s baffled face.

"What the-"

Torn between glaring at his traitorous, now snickering hyung and gaping at the newly arrived people Jungkook´s body twisted from one direction to the other. The decision on what to settle was taken from him as familiar arms wrapped around him, sueezing in a tight hug.

"Finally", Taehyung lamented, pressing his face against the maknae´s shoulder.

Jungkook just stood there, still awkwardly holding the pistol with outstretched arm away from the singer engulfing him. Hoseok noticed his uneasiness and took the tool from him with a soft smile. Jungkook thanked him with a nod and finally reciprocated the hug from his favorite person on earth. They nuzzled each other, sighing in content, hands slowly wandering across the back. 

Their sweet reunion was interrupted by the forger´s 'playtime is over'-voice.

"I brought Jiminie and Seokjin-sshi home and wanted to do the same with this pabo here but he refused with all his might." Hoseok pointed at Taehyung.

Contemplative, Yoongi hummed. "We have to be careful", he stated simply, then directed his next words towards Jungkook. "Especially you. Of course we will pay attention too but as leader and his boyfriend it´s your main responsibility to make sure he is safe. Don´t get distracted, brat."

The youngest nodded, gaze firm and unwavering. "I know."

"Good. Now go being disgusting out of my sight", the eldest dismissed the two of them but kept Hoseok there.

Rolling his eyes Jungkook took the brunet´s hand and lead him to his room.

As soon as the door was closed he was on Taehyung again, placing pecks along his long neck and eager hands roaming.

"I missed you so much", he breathed right in the singer´s ear. "so ing much, you have no idea."

Taehyung sighed, digging his fingers into the planes of the younger´s back. "Missed you too. So so much..." He pulled Jungkook closer and the latter took the chance to nibble at his earlobe. His mouth fell open. The younger´s hand sneaked under his shirt, trailing the arch of his spine, other hand squeezing his waist slightly.

"´M just so glad to have you here again", Jungkook mumbled in the brunet´s neck. 

The older didn´t answer with words but his fingertips ghosting across Jungkook´s sides and his nose trailing up his jaw, every spot where Taehyung touched leaving sparkles and shivers in its wakes - it was enough confirmation he felt the same.

The younger groaned, hands shooting up to roughly thread through the singer´s hair. Taehyung responded with angry marks in his neck and laving over the dark spots. Jungkook hissed, throwing his head back as he felt heat coiling in his stomach. One hand made its way from the soft brown hair down Taehyung´s back, the man arching into the touch beautifully, wandering lower and finding its way into a pant pocket, squeezing the plump flesh there.

A low moan rumbled in Taehyung´s chest and he slumped against the sturdy frame of Jungkook. But not for long. One moment he was pliant in the young Blessed´s grasp, the next one he pressed a wet greedy tongue at Jungkook´s adam´s apple, his way to the younger´s clavicle and nibbling there. Jungkook squeezed his a** stronger at that, unconsiously pushing the brunet closer even, their bodies rubbing against each other. He cursed under his breath.

"Tae", he warned with husky and lowered voice, "if you don´t want me to loose it completely you have to stop now."

Taehyung hummed, dragging his hands down Jungkook´s arms, marvelling at the strong muscles rippling beneath his skin. "What if I want you to?" And just with that he boldly palmed the younger through his trousers.

Jungkook let out a strangled cry, jerking into the movement. He took a deep breath, slammed his hands to both sides of Taehyung´s body, trapping him. His whole body shuddered as it took every ounce of restraint of him not to give in. "How often", he snapped breathily, caught between lust and fury. "How often do I have to tell you I don´t want to kill you? How often do I have to remind you of how lose my self-control is being around you?" He pressed their foreheads together, still shivering, their huffed breaths mingling. "I´m tempted, so ing tempted to kiss the shining daylight out of you. Cut me some slack! You´re the embodiment of temptation; it´s not easy, it´s really not easy for me. I´m not sure I could hold back for a second time..."

At the last comment the brunet scrunched his eyebrows, heat and anticipation gone. "Second time?", he questioned.

Jungkook spluttered. "I-I, uhm, I mean, well, uh... so... ahem..."

Taehyung waited, watching the younger struggle. He crossed his arms. "Want to tell me something?"

Teeth digging into his lower lip Jungkook fell silent, staring at his boyfriend like a deer caught in a headlight. His head constantly turning a deeper shade of red.

"..."

"You can either tell me or I can just leave."

"No no no no no!" The raven-head grabbled at his wrists and desperatley tugged Taehyung back. "Don´t leave, please."

He lowered his head in shame at was was about to come. With heavy feet he shuffled to his bed, slumping down and not looking at the singer who was still waiting for an explanation.

"Well?"

Jungkook took deep breaths but of course it helped nothing to calm him down. So he saw no other option than to go for it. "We... kinda... had our first time together... already...", he admitted shyly. "But you probably don´t remember, do you?"

"I-" Taehyung was outright baffled. "I-I... wHAt?!?"

A sad chuckle escaped the younger. "I´m not surprised you don´t remember... you were completely stoned. Why would you remember such a thing, huh?"

The brunet crashed on his bed, right next to him. "I, sh*t, I... I really don´t recall... but like, how?!" He groaned in frustration.

Jungkook side-eyed him, weighing his next words. "Y´know, I was aware. I knew you wouldn´t remember."

Taehyung turned his head. In his gaze hurt, compassion, confusion and something else Jungkook couldn´t pinpoint were mixing as they locked eyes in a silent conversation.

Why?

Because that´s the effect you have on me. I can´t hold back, not around you.

But why?

Jungkook turned away as tears stung in the corner of his eyes. Why indeed? He shook his head.

Sensing his insecurity, the brunet crawled up to him and wrapped his arms around the younger´s waist, laying his head on the juncture of his hipbone.

They stayed like that. Jungkook was not sure of what was going on, whether they were still communicating about the lost memory or just drowning in silence and unspoken words. He couldn´t tell if he was wallowing in self-pity or if they quietly were repairing themselves just now. He didn´t get what was going on except them being huddled together and not saying anything at all. It was warm and cold, strange. Familiar all the same.

Jungkook´s Blessing rumbled somewhere deep inside him. He closed his eyes, pulling Taehyung closer. Drifting into the land of dreams.

Again, he had nightmares. 

Again, he didn´t remember anything but the fear he´d felt, cold sweat sticky everywhere on his skin.

Breath going ragged as he jolted awake for the third time in the middle of the night, Jungkook concentrated on the steady rise and fall of the singer´s chest pressing against his side. He counted Taehyung´s breaths until his eyes fluttered close once more.

Jungkook had no idea that by the end of the next day the brunet´s chest wouldn´t raise nor fall anymore. He didn´t know their peace or truce or whatever they had - couldn´t know how limited their time was together. He just slept. Sleep was something for the unknowing ones.

And Jungkook was.

Unknowing.

This chap is for ElfSonal, hope you like it ^^

Also I needed a mental break between the previous and, well, the next chapter...

I´m aware the chap might be lame but it didn´t feel right to write two heavy chaps of different sorts with no break inbetween so here you go... an unexciting yet somehow necessarry filler episode lol

Happy Jintro, everybody! Our worldwide handsome will be back in next chap or so ^^