The first thing Jungkook noticed as he woke up was the lack of feeling for his body. Everything was numb. He couldn´t move any limb, not even a finger he could lift. The only things he could do were scrunching his nose and opening his eyes. And that didn´t really count. Damned to do nothing he therefore had no other choice than to wait.

As he laid there in a foreign bed in a white room, several tubes attached to him, his memory slowly came back. Tae had given him a cheesecake and he had been incredibly touched and grateful. Let´s see, and then... the brunet had said something about being jealous. And then hell had broke loose. His Blessing had taken the lead and gotten out of the cage he had built. There had been pain... incredible pain everywhere. Then suddenly nothing.

And now he was here. In a hospital?

Oh. He could wiggle his toes now.

Jungkook tried to remember what his Blessing had done. Had it left his body, turning him into a mini hurricane?

He could clench his hands to fists.

No, he couldn´t recall seing or feeling any wind there.

Carefully, he bent his legs and groaned.

Had he hurt anybody? Had he hurt Tae? He didn´t know.

Taking deep breaths, he stretched his arms. 

Where was the brunet anyway? Was he save? Was he unharmed? Did he learn Jungkook´s secret?

He rolled his head.

No really, where was everybody? Wasn´t at least a nurse supposed to check on him? He couldn´t hear anything.

Still attached to the tubes and very much exhausted, Jungkook didn´t know anything better to do than counting his breaths. Eventually, his eye lids grew heavy and he fell asleep without anybody noticing he had woken up.

As he woke up the second time, the tubes had been removed and he no longer felt like having been trampled by a group of elephants. Even better, he had back full control over his body. Next to his bed was standing a cup of dandelions. Jungkook smiled. He only knew one person to place dandelions on his bedside table. And that meant this one person was still alive and, hopefully, unharmed. But there still was no sight of Tae or his hyungs.

After waiting for ten minutes, Jungkook came to the conclusion he could use the free time alone and make a call. So he got up and took the phone out of his bag resting on a chair. It was a good thing he now had the private number of Kim Seokjin, that saved him the trouble of getting connected and reconnected countless times.

"Hello?", the doctor or whatever he apparently was answered the call.

"Uhm, hi, it's Jeon Jeongguk. Hyung, I need your advice. I may have a problem."

Jungkook could practically hear his hyung straightening up and going into analysis mode. "Okay... I´m all ears."

"Well..." It felt strange talking about it. But if that was the only way he could get help... Jungkook gulped down his uneasiness. "As you know, I´ve met... uh, somebody. Not long time ago."

"Ah, yes, yes, I remember. Tae, right? How is it going, are you two an item? Or are you still not together yet? How was your first date? Oh, and always remember to use protection..."

"Hyung! No! We aren´t... we aren´t together"

"Oh..." The older sounded very disappointed. "So you can´t get yourself together and need some advice to ask him out, right?"

"Yes. No. Wait- what?!?" Jungkook spluttered. "This... this is not what it is about, hyung!"

Seokjin audibly rolled his eyes. "Then what is it about? Come on, talk to me already. Do you even have an idea what time it is right now?"

"Errr... no?"

"Whatever. Just... get on with it already", the elder huffed annoyed.

Jungkook sighed.

"Okay. So, you know, I am currently in the hospital. Because my Blessing went berserk on me as I was touched at something Tae did for me. Or at least that´s what I assume. There was noboy checking on me so far. My Blessing somehow destroyed the bowl I had built for it, you know, like a double cage, my body plus the bowl to control the power within me. At first there were suddenly holes appearing in the bowl whenever I felt some strong emotion because of Tae-"

"Why the didn´t you tell me, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?!?", Seokjin jelled and Jungkook had to hold his phone away from his ear.

"Well yes. I actually have no idea how and why I am still alive. So, there were those strange holes. I somehow managed to repair them every time. But then yesterday well, happened. Or the day before yesterday? Dunno. Which day is today anyway? But that actually doesn´t matter right now. Okay, so friday happened, my bowl cage thing got crushed and I don´t really know what happened then. What I want to say is... my Blessing gets annoying and complicated. Like, madly annoying. It´s such a hassle lately. And the worst is..."

Jungkook bit his lip. It was so embarassing to say it out loud.

"The worst is... I want to kiss Tae. I want to kiss him real bad. I want to feel his soft lips on mine and share spit, ugh, I never thought about saliva as anything arousing but I want to kiss Tae so so much and I ing can´t because I would kill him! I would kill the only person I ever wanted to kiss! Do you have any idea how much this , hyung? I ing can´t kiss the one I love. Argh! This is so... damn! Sh*t! And don´t you dare laughing at me!"

"I´m not laughing at you", the elder deadpanned.

...

"Oh. Well, whatever. But I really hate my Blessing right now and I know, I just know as long as I can remember Tae nothing will change at that."

Jungkook tried to calm himself down again. As he no longer felt like throwing a tantrum, he continued.

"Hyung, this is the first time since then I feel my Blessing is not a holy thing, a blessing at all. But a ing curse. I am cursed! And I want to know if there is anything I can do. Because I´m so tired of it. I don´t want to go on like that anymore. Please tell me, hyung. Is there any way to block my Blessing or take it away?"

There was a long silence. And with every second the silence remained, Jungkook´s hopes shrinked. Then finally:

"I am sorry, Jungkook. There is no such thing as blocking your Blessing safely. I am very sorry."

Without another word, Jungkook hung up. A bitter laugh rumbled through his chest as angry tears spilled down his cheeks. He got back under the blanket again, hands clenched to fists, staring at the ceiling while his tears dried and took his hope for a normal life away.

He was bored. So unbelievably bored. Bored enough to start singing out of habit. With scratchy voice, Jungkook began to sing Tae´s songs, not too loud to gain attention. A weak breeze brushed his bare face.

So the Relief thing is still working.

Jungkook hadn´t been sure if and how it would work as right now he couldn´t really get a grasp of his Blessing. It was like a muddled soup with no defined borders.

Seems I need to build up my guards from scratch again... 

Soaking in self-pity, Jungkook sang the first lines of a ballad from Tae. He barely managed on time to shut up as the original singer opened the door, carefully carrying loads of food. As he met Jungkook´s eyes, he froze in his track, mouth agape. After a second of shock, a wobbly grin split the brunet´s face.

"Kookie! I´m so glad you are awake. I-I´m so glaaaad~" His voice broke as he could no longer hold in his tears. Sobbing, Tae abandoned the mountain of food and fell around the younger´s neck. "I-I thought you would dieee~"

Jungkook didn´t really know what to say at that. Afterall, he didn´t know why he was still alive too. So he just opted to awkwardly patting Tae´s back and mumbling reassuring "there, there". The wet spot on his shoulder grew bigger and bigger, not that he minded.

As Tae had calmed down, he got back to the mountain of food and placed it right infront of the younger. With reddened eyes but smiling again, he presented Jungkook his lunch.

"Okay, so the doctor said you need to eat well for regaining strength. That´s why I´ve brought... let´s see... chicken soup, broccoli, fries, some kind of gratin, milk and cereals and... an apple." He proudly pointed at the different dishes. "You know the saying, 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away', right? So first the apple and then I´ll get you stuffed."

Jungkook hadn´t it in himself to point out one, how poorly all those things matched with each other and two, that he would never be able to eat everything. So he leaned back and let himself be fed by the happy brunet. He swooned. I could get used to that...

"Oh my god, I don´t know what would´ve happened if they hadn´t called that Alterer-miss", Tae sniffed while still feeding Jungkook.

"They said you wouldn´t make it. There... there was blood everywhere, they needed to cut you open for working on your inner organs a-and then they said you probably would never wake up again and - oh god!"

Again, he was on the verge of tears but this time, the brunet stayed strong. "But then a small miss arrived and saved your precious life. You know, she is an Alterer and can somehow heal people with her Blessing. She let all your wounds grow back together. She´s pretty cool! I mean, not as cool as you, of course."

Tae blushed slightly.

So did Jungkook. He didn´t really care about the rest but that last sentence along with the older´s reaction made him feel light-headed.

"Wait", Tae furrowed his eyebrows as Jungkook refused to open his mouth for him. "Are you done already? You can´t be serious!"

"Taeee~ if I eat more I´m going to burst. Please, I´m full."

The brunet pouted. "No, no, no. You barely ate something. I know you can still eat more. Come on, at least finish up the gratin, okay? Do it for me, please."

The Blessed groaned. "Okay, okay hyung. For you."

"Great", Tae cheered, clapping his hands. Then he loaded up the fork again. "Say 'Aaaah'..."

"...Aaaaaah."

As Tae was satisfied with the ammount of food Jungkook ate, he put the rest away and without further warning, climbed into the bed and got under the blanket  with the flustered Jungkook.

"Sorry, you aren´t allowed to get out of bed yet", the brunet explained as he comfortably snuggled against Jungkook. "So I thought I might keep you company."

Jungkook laid still as a stature, frozen. Was that really happening just now?

The following silence was nerve-wrecking. 

Tae wiggled around a bit, obviously not sure what to do either. "Uhm, if you don´t mind... wanna listen to music together, Kookie?"

"Uhm..."

"I´ve just discovered a very promising band, maybe you´d like them too. A-and I´m working on some new songs but I´m not so sure about them yet... an objective opinion would be nice and, uh, yeah..."

Jungkook highly doubted he was an objective listener. Whatever. "Uh, yeah, okay. Let´s listen to music together then. Sounds good to me."

So they did, listening with one of Tae´s ear pieces each, the brunet closely snuggling against Jungkook´s chest, their limbs entangled. The younger was slowly drifting away, feeling the warm weight that was Taehyung on him. Absentmindedly, he played with the light brown strands and hummed along to the current song. And again and again, needed to remind himself that for the other, such skinship was no big deal. Right?

Tae nuzzled his head into Jungkook´s palm and sighed contently. He could feel the vibrations of the younger´s humming. It was incredibly relaxing.

"Somewhen, I´d like to hear you sing for real, Kookie", he murmured. "I´m sure your voice sounds like heaven."

Jungkook´s breath got caught in his throat. There he was, the person he´d learned to love laying in bed with him, making such a genuine and pure wish. But he couldn´t fullfil it.

"I´m sorry", he rasped, gulping down his rising tears. "I don´t sing infront of people."

He didn´t need to see the sad smile for knowing it was there as the elder responded. "It´s alright. Don´t worry too much about it, Kookie."

They laid in silence again, eyes closed and bodies pressed together as they focussed on the music once more. A new song from Tae began playing. It was filled with melancholy, insecurity, fear and something else Jungkook couldn´t put into words. The whole concept of the piece was so different from the brunet´s usual songs. So... vulnerable, but in a personal and sad way. It basically screamed 'help' an 'stay'.

"What--- what is this?"

The singer turned his head to look him in the face.

"I wrote this the day you collapsed. It´s about you", he admitted. "Because that day I feared to loose you. And I realized how much you mean to me. I-" Tae struggled to find the right words. "I don´t... I don´t want you to leave just like that. I couldn´t bear it if you´d vanish out of my life without a trace. And I know this is really, really selfish... But I like you. Very much. So please don´t go."

With every sentence he had crept closer until now his face was only mere inches away from the younger´s.

Jungkook unconsciously his lips, then nervously bit his lower lip. Never, in his wildest dreams he would´ve thought to be in this situation. Did Tae really just confess to him? His breath came in fas pants as the brunet leaned in, slowly reducing the space between them. As his whole attitude changed, eyes turning dark. And Jungkook indeed didn´t miss the way the elder´s gaze flickered between his eyes and mouth. But while his heart was jumping and dancing in joy, shouting 'yes, yes, yes', his brain roared to stop this right now. 'No!'

Their lips were already touching, sending a tingling sensation down Jungkook´s spine as he pushed Tae away.

"I-I, oh my god, Kookie, I am so sorry, I didn´t want to force you into anything I swear, I just thought--- I thought you wanted this too, I am so so incredibly sorry", Tae stammered as he hastily pulled away.

Before he could go any further, Jungkook grabbed the bewildered brunet´s wrist and pulled him back to him. "You can´t tell me not to leave you and run away yourself the next minute, hyung", he chuckled while he tucked a strand behind Tae´s ear.

"S-Sorry..."

Never had been acting calm more difficult and maddening. His brain was still screaming 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!'

He scrambled for something, anything to save his sorry . As he had an idea, Jungkook thanked the heavens for his good memory. Because what he´d just remembered was stuff from biology classes. His last straw.

"And you got it all wrong, hyung." He gave his best to let his voice sound light as he lied. "I didn´t not want to. I just happen to have, uh... queunliskanphoby, y´know?"

"Oh my god, is that life-threatening?!"

Jungkook laughed.

"Nooo, it´s just a personal thing", he assured before his hyung could freak out. "It means fear of spit and saliva. And it has nothing to do with the person. Frankly, I´d lo- like to kiss you but I can´t, not in that way. It´s a mental thing, you know?"

"...Aaah..." Understanding dawned on the other´s face.

And maybe the excitement of the almost-kiss was to blame but Jungkook didn´t give a damn as he leaned in and whispered "I can do this, though". With heart-breaking gentleness, he brushed Tae´s bangs away and placed a sweet kiss on his forehead.

Like this, they both remained frozen, not daring to breathe and break the spell. It was a moment of their very own tiny eternity. Until the door opened and a nurse stepped in. Shrieking, they both pulled away. Without another word, Tae got up, grabbed his things and rushed out of the room with deep red head.

Jungkook could  punch a hole in the wall. He had been this close....

I almost kissed Tae for real.

!

I ALMOST KISSED TAE!!!

Tae sat on the floor. He couldn´t sleep. Again, he touched the place where Jungkook´s lips had rested on his forehead.

"Waaaah~" He squinted his eyes shut.

What should he make out of all this? Why had he tried to kiss the cute, wonderful, mesmerizing, astonishing younger anyway? And more important, why did Jungkook say he´d like to kiss him too? He loved Jimin already. So why was he theoretically okay with kissing him?

Are you by any possibility a player, Kookie?

Here you go with chapter 24. This story is now officially as long as my first one, "Which piece of art is perfect though?" ^^ I feel like a proud mother lol

Thank you so much for all your sweet comments, I can't say it often enough. Every single comment makes my day and yesterday I did read "love your story" more than once!!! Thank youuu T.T

Also, I noticed it's the 24th chapter but still no cover. No way, that won't do! So last night I took it upon myself to draw one *cough cough, check it out*. In my (not very objective but still) opinion it turned out not bad ^^