Steams of hot water rises as the last bucket is poured into the bathing tub. With her slender fingers, Ji Hyo wets his hair as he sat inside. Her fingers ran along his snagged hair with the dried rose scented shampoo, massaging his scalp.

His skin had toughen, the old scars on his back swell with new ones. As gentle as she could, she pressed the wet cloth on his back and shoulders. Tears swell in her eyes as the tips of her fingers touched him.

The last time she had touched him was days ago. His once long hair that she held, his tanned skin had bruised.

The touch of his hand grasped overs her, firmly squeezing it. She gently removed her hand and rinsed his hair as she sniffs.

“Let’s trim your hair after this,” she scrubs him clean. He obeyed her every word as he wraps his bottom half, climbing out of the tub and sitting on the low stool.

Taking the scissors, she stood behind him. Hesitating, her hands tremble as she cut the uneven hair to the nape of his neck. The wet hair dropped in random pieces onto the wet floor. It was her first time cutting a person’s hair. She carefully snipped to make the edges even.

“You’ll be the first person to have short hair,” she brightly spoke, trying to lighten the mood. “Don’t blame me if it doesn’t come out nicely. It’s my first time.”

His silence was always a mystery to her. With his back turned to her, her heart was unsettled. Brushing away the stray hair, she rinsed his back with the basin of water. Wiping it clean, her movements slowed as she could hear a little sniffle.

“The Gong Family wants to hold a funeral for Lieutenant Gong.” He spoke in almost a whisper. “A funeral with no body.”

Her hands wrapped around his back as she leaned her head on his back, hugging him.

He swallows the hard lump, “I…I-I… We slipped down the hill and I lost grip-“ tears burned in his eyes, streaming down his cheeks. “It is my fault-“

Ji Hyo pulls him around, grasping his hands. “No,” she adamantly spoke. “It’s not your fault.” She wiped the tears with her thumb. “It was an accident. You didn’t mean to.”

He his hand over hers that cupped his cheek. “It is the truth. I am responsible for the loss of him. For me, he took the attack. Because of my incompetence, he was wounded. Yet I couldn’t bring him back.”

Ji Hyo frown as her own vision became blurry. His voice had become hoarse, quivering as he spoke.

“Someone who trusted me with his life… I have failed him. I have failed the whole country and family.”

Her chest tightens as she pulls him into her tight embrace, his face snuggled in her chest. They cried together as they mourn for the loss of his brother.

Keeping her voice strong and firm, “He brought you back to me. If losing him means that you will come back to me, safe and sound, I am willing to pray and thank the heavens. But if him coming back means there is no you, I would rather follow you to the end of the world.”

She retracts and cups his face with her hands.

“If you win, I’ll rule the world with you. If you lose, I’ll stand by your side until the end.”  

More tears water in his eyes as she pecks the corner of his dried lips.

***

The household quiets down as the outside world was bustling. Funeral money filled in the air, mourning, and families dressed in white.

The Gong Family held a funeral for their only son, a funeral without a body. They were not the only ones though. Many other families did not have the honor of burying their own sons and husbands as the war created chaos. Name plates were brought back as record, leaving families devastated.

“What do you mean?!” a lady yells. “Where is he?!” She grabbed the man by the collar.

A short man, Ha Dong Hoon appears from behind the bureau after retrieving his belongings and award. Hearing the familiar shouting, he rushes to the front.

The lady made a fussed as she turns around, catching sight of him.

“Byul,” he calls her. Her angry demeanor vanished as she runs to him.

Tears swell in his eyes as he also ran to her, spreading his arms. She jumps on him, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

He lost balance and fell back, coughing as she knocked the wind out of him.

“Huhuhu, I was worried sick about you! Do you know how much I missed you?! I couldn’t find you! I thought you were dead!”

Gasping for breath, “Byul, if you don’t let go, I’ll really die.”

She released him, stood up with her hands on her hips. He catches his breath as he pats his chest, sitting up and to his feet.

“What did I tell you about entering the army? You asked for an early death!” her face reddens once more.

“I’m back and that’s all that matters,” He rubs his chest, “I haven’t seen you for only a month and you have gotten stronger.”

“Only? One day is like a month. For me one month is like ten years! I couldn’t concentrate and worked my off. If you didn’t come back, I would hunt you down to your grave!”

He looked a bit scared, his voice quiets down. “I know you are surely capable of doing so, granny.”

Byul’s face ashen, she stomps towards him. “Because of who that I am worried sick? Because of who that I lived like a half dead person for the last month. Because of you, I am becoming a granny. If you die, who will take care of me?! Huh?!”

He gave her a toothy grin. “I know, that’s why I entered the army.”

“You!  You knew and still did it anyways? Ha Dong Hoon, are you really that stupid?” she was in disbelief.

“Your mother said she wanted 10 gold taels for your dowry. I am a only a commoner’s son, I cannot afford such a lavish dowry, yet provide you a life of comfort.” His face softens as he spoke seriously. “The only option I had was to sell my organ or go to war.”

Her face softens instantly.

“Though war is dangerous, it was the best bet I had of coming back alive.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whimpered as her eyes became teary.

He smiles and takes out the money bag from the award bag. “Byul, I can’t promise you the best life but I promise to make it the best time you’ll ever have in your life. I don’t have much to offer but my humble home and a few taels with a family farm. If you don’t mind a commoner’s son like me, I will go ask for your hand in marriage today.” He gulps.

“Kim Go Eun, Granny Byul, will you marry me?”

Her eyes water as she jumps on his again, her arms and legs tightly wrapped around him. Crying and nodding, “Yes!” She kissed him multiple times on his face as she starts bawling.

Dong Hoon grunt as he held her, barely balancing.

“Am I hurting you?” She starts to let go but he holds her.

“It’s ok,” he squeaks as he gasped for breath, “Let’s stay like this for a bit.”

“Dong Hoon~” She sweetly clasp him as they hugged each other in the middle of the road in front of the capital’s bureau.

***

Jong Kook wakes up in the middle of the night to an empty bed. Ji Hyo was nowhere in sight. Carefully, he gets out of bed and secured his clothing before going out to look for her.

Just then, he passes the praying room. He walks closer and sees Ji Hyo sitting on the mat in front of the ritual. She was praying.

Ji Hyo closed her eyes and prayed.

Attempting to make his way into the room as she started bowing, he stops. With the third bow, she did not sit up, froze in her bowing stance as her head stayed on her hands on the mat.

Jong Kook reach his hand towards her and was about to touch her shoulder, until he noticed her trembling body.

Ji Hyo was crying, her cry was low and silent. She forced her cries to quiet down as she bit her lips, muffling the sounds she would make while her tears wetted the mat.

Yet Jong Kook could hear it. A sudden itch in his chest, Jong Kook retreated his hand back, holding it into a fist before leaving the room.

Each foot step felt like he had stepped on hot, burning coals, but his feet sluggish as if chains weigh hang him down. He stopped in the middle of the hallway to glance behind his shoulder as his eyes water. The image of her skimmed through his mind before continuing to their room.

Jong Kook fell to the ground as he was stuck in his crazy dilemma. Yoo only thought of her until his last moments. His heartache, why didn’t I die instead? Why did you save me Yoo? Why did I hesitate? Because of my mistake-

His guilty body shrunk into a ball as he scrunched his hair. Tears filled his eyes as he tried to figure what to do.

His cousin died in his place while thinking of the only woman in his life. All the while his woman stay by his side silently mourning for his cousin’s death.

It was all his fault. He cowered down and cried to himself.

Unbeknown to him, Ji Hyo had returned and stood by the door. She leaned on the wall as she could hear him cry.

If only she didn’t marry Jong Kook. If only she had not love him, maybe Yoo would still be alive. If only she had gotten the courage to make Jong Kook choose between her and Ara, maybe she would have open her heart to Yoo.

She didn’t get to say bye.

Ji Hyo looked away as she hear Jong Kook sob painfully. Tears filled her eyes.

“Pain was their body's way of telling them that they'd pushed themselves to their limits -- which was exactly where they were supposed to be.”

- Richard Moncinko -

Swallowing her tears back, she steps inside the room. Closing the door, she knelt in front of him.

“Let’s go to bed,” she touches him.

“Do you regret it, coming back to me?”

“What are you saying? Stop being irrational.” She tries to help him up but he pulls away from her.

He quietly stares at the floor. “He thought of you until his last moments.”

Her brows furrow. “The relationship between Yoo and I are only of siblings, nothing else. Come on,” she attempts to help him up once more. This time he complied but as he stood up he distant himself from her.

“If I didn’t interfere, maybe you and him, you both would be another item now.” He somberly spoke as he backed away.

The sorrow in her chest lifted as confusion and anger slowly took over. “Stop it, don’t say something you’ll regret.”

He sighs, “Ji Hyo, don’t you hate me? For being weak and giving in to the person who gave me these ugly scars? If I had been more careful-“

A hand swings down and his cheek became red with a hand print. Ji Hyo’s chest heave up and down, her breath uneven as she glares at him.

“Yes! I am sad. I am sad that he had to leave us in that way, wounded for protecting you and not being able to bring back his body. It is miserable that the Gong’s lost their only family line! It is an ominous event. And I wished everything would have gone smoothly. I wished that everyone had been able to return to their families after the disasters. But!”

Tears of frustration gleamed.

“That’s just how it is. We can’t always get what we want.” Her voice cracked.

They stood across each other as Jong Kook recovered from the slap and faced her.

“You went through hell to get back here and yet here we are raising our voices over bygones. You call yourself pathetic and useless for wavering. If it is true then I must be the most horrible person for being glad and thanking that person who died in your place.”

Uncontrollable tears rushed down her face.

“The Gong family can blame you, the King can punish you and you can choose to throw everything away because of your guilt but not me! You can’t throw us away! We need you.”

He was stunned for a moment before repeating her words, “Us?”

She steps forward and held his hand. As she placed his palm on her abdomen, his expression shifted.

“We, the baby and I, needs you.” Her lips quiver. “Our child needs its father.” His eyes became starry once again, taking in the shock, he didn’t realize he had held his breath. “I know your uncle was your god, your mentor, your father. I know it was difficult for you to choose your loyalty to the country and him. It was horrible and I’m so sorry that you had to go through that dilemma. But I will not let that loyalty, that burden, bury my efforts in our relationship!”

“We fought to return to you, don’t give up on us now.” Her last words caught in as she starts sobbing and the choked cries came out. “Don’t-“

Jong Kook had tightly grasped his arms around her. So tightly that she lost her words and the tears just kept streaming as she wailed.

Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he mutters apologies over and over. It was bewildering. He held her head in his chest as he closed his eyes, taking in the moment.

It was surreal, his child and his wife.

He felt like a fool. Too caught up in his own bubble that he oversaw her, saw them. When her cries have finally quiet down, he could still hear her hiccups as she still lie in his arms.

He didn’t know how long he had held her tightly until he heard her groan. Retracting himself instantly, he oversees her for any pain. His eyes softens with a hint of seriousness.

“Did I hurt the baby?” he questions. Ji Hyo huffs and glares at him before turning away, triumph but still grumpy with her now swollen eyes. The tears had dried with two streaks down her cheeks.

He carefully rubs her stomach, “I-Father will be more careful. My ‘sa’ grow quickly, father wants to see you.”

A little curve appears at the corner of her lips as Jong Kook gently rubs her stomach and coos the developing fetus.

“Let me help you,” Jong Kook carried her to bed.

***

'Sa' as in 'JeonSa' or 'ByeongSa' meaning 'warrior' or soldier'

The ending is near...