Ji Hyo winced as she gently applies the ointment and oils on his back. The cuts were deep that sunk into his already scarred back. She touched the scars before applying pressure to the new cuts.

The sour smell of lime lingers around the wound. She wanted to find out who would dare to whip the General of Goryeo. Whoever did it, he was very evil. Judging from the wound, the person had soak the whip in lemon to sting the skin when cut by the leather.

It had eroded the wounds to bleed more, opening the tissue.

Though Jong Kook didn’t move, she could hear  his uneven breath as she touch each wound.

Walking out of the room after she finished, she stopped and waited if he was going to say something. But no. He did not speak to her at all. He just lied there.

***

With the door closing shut, Jong Kook opened his eyes.

*Flashback to the punishment*

Jong Kook stormed to the palace after Ji Hyo announced her wish to leave with Yoo. He tightly grabbed onto the reins, huffing. His hate towards Yoo resurfaced but he himself knew it.

What was he expecting?

He bows before the King as he walks into the court, still flaming in jealous and hurt over Ji Hyo’s words, comparing him to Yoo.

“You are charged with assault to the 13^th Prince. Do you accept your faults?”

Jong Kook bows, “I accept my faults.”

“Where is Lady Song?”

“As her husband, it is only right that I take the punishment.”

Hanbin snickers, his busted lip still bruised.

“I failed to protect my wife and dirty her hands, therefore I am befitting of the punishment.”

The King nodded. “50 floggings and 10 horsewhips,” he sternly stated, “Do you agree?”

Jong Kook looks up at the King. “It is.” He bows his head again, “But I also believe that it would be fair if Prince Hanbin is also punished.”

“Explain,” the King ordered.

“General speaking, I don’t know what knowledge your majesty has of that night. From my perspective, the Prince was inappropriately caressing Lady Song’s cheek in the court while your majesty wasn’t there. Not only that but using alcohol as an excuse, not only did he touch my wife but intended to do the unthinkable to her in public.”

He stops, his anger meter shoots through the roof. Composing all his anger inside, he spoke again, “I believe that it is only right that Prince Hanbin gets his punishment too.”

Hanbin sat up, grinning menacingly.

The King nodded.

Another official spoke up, “Your majesty should reconsider. It was a banquet for the 13^th Prince. It is only normal that he gets drunk.” He glances at Hanbin, “And judging from 13^th Prince character, he didn’t mean to do so. General Kim assaulting him in front of others will not only bring humiliation to the royal family but also destroy his future Princess consort candidacy. Please rethink your majesty.”

“Your majesty, there were many eyes at the scene. If 13^th Prince is to get away with this, who knows what others may say to the royal family?”

“General Kim-“ Minister Choi started.

“A mistake. That’s what everyone says but whether it is a mistake or incidental, it still happened.”

His sentence reminds him of Ji Hyo’s words.

(Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bipj0cSUgAg )

“I won’t ask for your love, nor do I want you to pity me with your compassion. Because I know… you can never love me and treat me like you do for Ara.”

She swallowed back her tears. Jong Kook could only listen to her as his expression turned soft while he tried to mask it.

“Please… pretend you heard nothing… and don’t push me away. When the time comes… I won’t ask for anything more than for you to let me go. So don’t push me away… okay?”

Jong Kook lies on the bench as he is flogged. Each hit triggers a memory of Ji Hyo.

“Please act like your normal self. I know what I said must have been difficult for you to understand. But please pretend like you don’t know anything.”

He almost steps in to speak but she interrupted him with her distant voice.

“Pretend like you always had.”

A sudden burning part of his chest made him irritated.

“You want me to act like myself?”

“Yes.”

He nodded, “Alright.”

He crouch and hoisted her over his shoulder.

Ji Hyo was taken back by his actions.

“W-what are you doing? Let me down.”

But he continued and climbed up the hill with her over his shoulder as they reached the top of the hill.

“Yah!” Ji Hyo almost screamed as she sees the extreme height of the hill as she cling on his shoulder, making her world dizzy.

“Let me-“

Jong Kook throws her on the ground and massages his shoulder.

“Ow~” Ji Hyo rubs her bottom.

“Gosh, what do you eat? You’re so heavy.” Jong Kook complained.

Upset, Ji Hyo gets up and puts her hand on her hips. “I’m not heavy, you’re just too weak.”

“You-“ Jong Kook points at her but realizes he was acting ‘normal’, normally close to her now and decides to step back. “Forget it.” then he walks away, leaving Ji Hyo to huff by herself.

***

She turns away bitterly. “I’m not thirsty.”

He springs back at her, intimidated and reluctantly take the bottle back, “I was just being nice. Fine.”

“Tch~ when did you start being nice to me?” she scoff the other way. He glares back at her, fumbling for words and examples to say.

“W-When did not do that?”

She turns back to him and stands up. “You only started doing this when I said that earlier.”

“How do you know?” he annoyingly asked.

“Don’t kid me, when did you care?”

“I treated your poison,” he pointed to her shoulder.

“Anyone can do that,” she declared.

“I-I,” he stuttered. “I gave you my warmth!” They both stare at each other in disbelief as he blurted out the incident from last night.

He quickly looks away as Ji Hyo thought to herself. That explains why she was . She could only cursed to herself. And she confessed to him … only in his robe.

“W-we better get going,” Ji Hyo turned away and walked forward as Jong Kook scratched his head roughly.

Why can’t he find the words to say? And when he does, why is it always the most embarrassing things?

Then he noticed she was fumbling around with her feet, groaning as she kept stopping to massage her feet. He walks forward and stops before her and crouch down with his back facing her.

“What are you doing? Kneeling?”

He gritted his teeth, does she not even know what he’s doing?

“Climb on my back.”

Ji Hyo’s eyes widen. “Why should I?”

“Hey,” he turns his head back to her. He was feeling embarrassed now. Why did he even offer to piggyback her in the first place?

“I don’t want to be stuck here for another night with you so just get on my back. At the rate you’re going, we won’t even find our way passed this forest.”

“I don’t want to,” Ji Hyo turned the other way. If she was going to get out, she’d rather leave with no strings attached.

Annoyed, he finally stood up.

“Hey!” he yelled making her jump, looking at him in surprise. “Stop blabbering or I’ll tie you up.”

She nodded, “Oh so the real you is always so dominating. No wonder those assassins want to kill you.”

He took a deep breath. “Either you take my offer now or let me drag you by the feet.”

Ji Hyo looked at him, and she knew he was serious by the way he looks at her. She finally gave in as he turned back around and crouched down.

She hesitantly steps forward and clings onto his shoulders as his hands held her by the legs to support her weight.

“You really are heavy…” he whispered.

“I heard that,” Ji Hyo retorted.

That was the first memory he had, remembering how he had let down his guard and acted normal.

It was then that he realized how stupid he was. He had warmed to her when they fell down the cliff.

Another flog brought him back. He clenched his teeth.

Jong Kook looks at the mirror. “You’re kidding me right?” He moves the mirror out of the way and Ji Hyo snorted in laughter.

He had a big bun on top of his head, his lips are super red, his cheeks rosy pink, his eyes were very black, and his face was extra white.

He glares at her, “It’s not funny.”

But she smiles, “Of course not, you’re just,” she looks at him again, “you are too pretty ahahaha,” she burst in laughter and rolled on the mat.

He glares at her and acts all cutesy, tucking the loose strands behind his ear on both sides. “There is no one as pretty as me,” he uses his high voice, making Ji Hyo laugh more. But on the serious not, he wasn’t impress. He grabs the white face powder and leans over to Ji Hyo before patting it all over her face.

“Yah!” Ji Hyo screamed and laugh.

“Come on, we need to make your face whiter too, so that you’ll be prettier than a ghost, here so more lipstick so you’ll look more alive.”

They laughed at each other while she was struggling but he was stronger than her as he was on top of her.

“Next, 10 horsewhips!”

Jong Kook stood up, trying not to touch his bottom. His mind only had happy memories of him and Ji Hyo.

He stands face to face with Hanbin. He takes the whip from the bucket, a sour smell tickled his nose.

“I’ll do it,” Hanbin stated as he grins evilly.

Jong Kook scoff.

The whip was raised and a sharp cut on his right shoulder made him winced. The cut was excruciating as he could feel the instant sting. Lime.

He glares at Hanbin who seemed excited and satisfied.

Jong Kook turns around, trying to think of the good memories to avoid the pain.

Her voice lowers as it crack and quivers. “I’m… sorry.” then she turns to Jong Kook. “I’m sorry.”

He looks back at her as her words were directed at him.

“Why are you sorry?” he seemed almost confused.

“For being a burden,” she finished.

He stays still, not sure what to say. “Y-you’re not a burden. Don’t think like that-“

“I don’t even remember who I am. I don’t even know the basic things to say or do. I’m a dummy.”

He tries lighten up the situation but she shook her head. “I am the world’s biggest dummy. I don’t even remember you,” she cried.

He was left speechless. His heart aching.

He holds her hand in his, “It’s okay if you don’t, I will remember you.” He smiles.

“Aish you’re not helping at all,” she turns away and wipes away her tears.

“How?” he chuckles.

“I’ll remember you for you.”

Ji Hyo pouted her lips. “If I don’t remember you, how am I supposed to know anything about you?”

Another scorching whip slashed on his back. Damn it. His skin burn from the cut, he wanted to yell but holds back. He will not give in to this bastard.

Yoo’s voice echoed in his mind instead of Ji Hyo.

“You’re hiding one woman while playing with another. Does that make you feel better?” Yoo almost raised his voice.

Jong Kook tightened his hand into a fist. “And what does it have to do with you?” he says through gritting teeth.

Yoo stepped closer, making their distance inches apart. “It has to do with me,” making Jong Kook’s gaze hazed. “As a man…”

He stops before continuing, “Who has interests in Ji Hyo.”

Another sharp pain hits his shoulder blade, making Jong Kook grunt. He felt every whip, the hard, scorching leather that clashed with his skin. Blood now seeps through his clothes. He was a bloody mess.

Images of Ji Hyo holding back her tears, watching him and Ara comes back. Seeing Ji Hyo cry in the corner, not knowing who she was anymore, after saving Ara.

Her memory loss, her desperation when she lost Yeo Jin…

The 10^th whiplash grazed into one of his already open wounds, intensifying the pain.

He stands up to move.

In the 9^th year of the King’s rule, Jong Kook had return to Groyeo from his most successful war. He was recognized for his skill and promoted to the status of a Major.

He returned to look for Ji Hyo but stops outside the Song’s mansion as he sees Hanbin and Ji Hyo together.

“Be my Princess Consort,” Hanbin said. The girl didn’t respond as Hanbin puts his arms around her, hugging her in his embrace. She didn’t fight back.

Jong Kook  crushed his fist from burning jealousy. He turned away, not willing to see or listen to her answer.

As he walks out of the mansion, he bumps into the Eunuch.

The Eunuch and butler gossiped. “The 13^th Prince is getting married, can you believe that?”

“Such a young prince, surely he’ll be happy.”

“They seem to match so much too.”

“I agree, they’ll make a good couple, their birthdays are very much compatible.”

Hearing those words deepen hole in his chest and blew out the flame in his heart. Jong Kook rushed away, not before kicking the wooden barrel with wedding decorations to the side.

He was stupid. He should have never come back. He heads back to the training camp, prepared to leave immediately.

He will forget her, she will be the princess consort. His lingering feelings towards her turns cold and brutal. Grudge engulfed him.

Jong Kook turns around, grabbing the flying whip that flew at him. The leather burned his palm as blood drip down it to the ground, he spare no thoughts to the pain.

He felt numb.

Hanbin glared at him. “You dare to defy the punishments, General Kim?”

Jong Kook darkly glares at him as he anger simmered. “The punishment is over. 50 flogs and 10 horsewhips.”

“It is not over until I say so,” Hanbin creeps.

Annoyed by his presence, Jong Kook had never wanted to punch someone so much in his life as he had for Hanbin. A spoiled prince with a golden spoon from the King, the very man who stole his Uncle’s wife and assassinated his whole family.

Jong Kook was infuriated as he walks towards Hanbin.

His uncle, his savior, his hero, the person he looked up to like a father in the battlefield.

He yanks the horsewhip out of Hanbin’s hand and throws it on the ground. Was Hanbin going to take the King’s step and try to force Ji Hyo to marry him?

“13^th Prince Hanbin.” Jong Kook said with much despise.

“What?” Hanbin chuckled.

Jong Kook eyed him. “If you dare touch my wife once more or in the future, I’ll make sure that you will get away with more than a slap on the wrists.”

Hanbin chuckled dryly and challenged him. “You seem to forget something here. I, am the Prince of Goryeo. One of the possible candidates to become the King.” He pokes his finger at Jong Kook’s chest, “You, Kim Jong Kook, is a General of Goryeo, someone who will come under my rule. Your Uncle and father are under my father’s rule. You are under my father’s rule. Just because you are Ji Hyo’s husband, I will not hesitate to destroy you like your impudent uncle.”

He leans closer to Jong Kook’s ear.

“If she happens to get pregnant, I’ll abort the child myself. She will never bear your seed. I will make love to her all night long, make her say my name as I fill her with royal essence.”

Jong Kook’s bloody hand clenched tightly in a balled fist.

“I would also like to know, what does her body look like, her peachy fragrance, her big eyes begging me to her harder.” He chuckled. “Thinking of this make me have a hard on already. Just how do you control yourself with her, General Kim? Does she ride you like a horse? Moan your name? Or have you not slept with her yet?”

Jong Kook’s lips quiver as his face reddens.

“Nevermind, I’ll have to see for myself.” Hanbin leans back and turns around before turning back. “I am a prince. You won’t be able to raise a hand to me easily. Why? Because you are nothing, only pathetic trash.” He walks away.

It wasn’t too long before Hanbin is yanked around and meets a fiery Jong Kook’s bloody fist. Hanbin, taken back was surprised.

Jong Kook didn’t hold back. He continued beating up Hanbin, shoved him to the ground and yank his collar.

The servants and guards pull Jong Kook back but his immense strength of anger did not subside. His fist went numb as he punched Hanbin over and over again. A erted prince, a good-for-nothing human being dared to criticized his wife?

Jong Kook was finally pulled back, leaving Hanbin in a bloody mess as his slowly healing busted lip teared again. Hanbin spits out blood. The guard punched Jong Kook and pins him down.

But Jong Kook was much stronger and skilled. He was now circled by the guards as he turns to the King that came out from all the commotion.

Huffing in deep breaths, Jong Kook wipes the blood from his mouth with his sleeve. Sweat drips down his face, mixing with the bloody fluid on his back and stinging lime.

“I, am not a slave.” Jong Kook muttered. “I! am not a slave to Goryeo!” his voice proclaimed through the vast court. “Your majesty has bestowed the rank of General to me 5 years ago. 3 years after Ex-Marshal Kim Mu-Ryeok was exiled and the Kim’s family was demoted, I, the nephew of his fought the wars and battles, risking my life. With my own hands, I rebuilt the honor that the Kim’s lost back to where it was.”

Raising his bloody hands, “With these hands, I protected my people from ravaged wars that had taken innocent lives. I not only return to the Capital to parade in fame and wealth. I came back to offer my service to your majesty, the very person who has punished my family.

And today,” his voice much calmer but angry tears flushed in his eyes, “I dare to raise my hand to punish the man who laid his hands on my wife and threatens to tear my family apart. For that, I will not stand back! I did not give my life to the borders for 17 years to have it crumbled down by the 13^th Prince of Goryeo who lust after my wife.”

Taking in deep breaths, he slows down.

“If your majesty thinks that I have gone too far and deserves death for raising my hand to a royal descendant of yours, you may punish me at any time. Take my rank away too, but I do not admit my fault for assaulting the prince a second time.”

Jong Kook bowed his head and marched towards the palace gates, exiting the palace. He didn’t care to ride his horse back. He had feet, he’ll walk.

***

(Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgPRnX2JN8A )

The sun had began to set and the sky grew darker yet. The torches were lit. A trail of blood left behind him.

Jong Kook relived the memories of his uncle being attack and exiled while his children were executed and enslaved. His aunt married the king…

He stopped and looks over to the execution stage. Images of his cousins being beheaded made his lips quiver. Tears burned in his eyes.

The numbness went away and the pain slowly seeped back until he could feel his body shaking.

“If one day,” she smiles as he curiously turns his attention back to her. “I find someone that I love, please, let me go.” She finished.

Jong Kook froze before he nods in agreement. “I promise you.” He smiles faintly.

Ji Hyo bows slightly before turning away.

“One day, you will find that someone.” Jong Kook shouted behind her. Then whispered to himself,

 “Someone better than me.” He mutters under his breath, tears burrow in his eyes.

Jong Kook sighed.

She found someone she loved…

She really did. Considering all the things Yoo had been able to do for her that he had not done, Jong Kook nodded. He admit it.

He was worthless, not worth her time and love.

His heart broke slowly just as it had when he found Hanbin and her together 8 years ago from his return.

But it was a cruel heartbreak, This time, instead of wanting to forget her, he longed for the memories of her. Memories…

He weakly looks up and sees a hurried Ji Hyo standing a distance in front of him, her motions halting as she sees him.

Ji Hyo.

It was Song Ji Hyo. No matter where he was, she was always there. She had always been by his side. She managed to find him in his most vulnerable state almost every time.

Looking up, he sees her frozen stature. He gave her a firm smile, though the wincing pain at the corner of his mouth stings.

If you won’t go the ocean, the ocean will come to you. But an ocean is vast and scary with unthinkable outcomes. Go too far and you’ll drown under the waves.

He takes the first step towards her.

But why should I be afraid?

With every step, it felt like shards of glass and his back arched from the whips. The back of his shirt stained with bloody whip marks. His right hand dripped with blood.

Halting his steps as he stood in front of her.

I’m already drowning anyways.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked warmly. He looks at her thin clothes. “It’s too chilly, you’ll get sick.”

He did not see her eyes under the dark night but from the crescent moon, he could see glimpse of her starry eyes.

He was lost in thought, letting out a low winced at her touch. He stops her but she insisted and there, the red marks of his torture.

Ji Hyo lightly touched his side, touching the whipping mark. Jong Kook tugs her hand again, not wanting to her see it.

 “W-Why?” her voice trembled as his eyes meet hers. “Your injuries- why?”

He lets out a sharp breath and hesitated but touched her face with his left hand, trying to find the words to say.

“Don’t cry,” he smiles bitterly, “I’m fine.”

“Fine?” she retorted. “This is fine to you? If it was me would you say the same thing?!”

She cared after all. Inside he was happy to know that she still cared for him. “But it’s not you. And I’m glad that it’s not you.”

But… but it stir his emotions.

“No matter how injured I am, it won’t be as much as what you’ve gone through.”

She said nothing as she took his arm over her shoulder, he leaned his weight on her as he felt his legs giving out after the long walk and pain.

“Let’s go home.”

He stops and looks at her who only looked at the ground, then lightly smiles with surprise, “Should we?”

As she supported his weight and her right arm circled his back, he groaned as he limps, his legs were sore from the flogging. But Ji Hyo held him up.

.

.

.

He’s ready to let her go now. It was only right that he did. They don’t owe each other anything anymore, but deep within he will always be indebted to her.

With her by his side now, he was the happiest he could be.

Home. A home with her. The last night she will be his. Though his feet felt like it was teared apart, his back ached in tremendous stings, he wanted the walk to be longer.

Treasuring every second left.

If you stay, if you leave,

The end is always the same,

In the end all is towards you, at you.

-quote-

**************************************************************************