Ji Hyo wakes up at daybreak. Looking over her shoulder, her eyes lay on every item in the room. The distinct arrangement that once had hers were different. Jong Kook’s items were in another corner in the room.

As the door to her bedroom closed, she made her way down the hall. Without knowing, she stops at Jong Kook study room. She felt an heavy tug of concern mulling over her.

The door opens and she steps inside.

He stood by the window, his hands behind his back as he looks outside. Dressed in a simple white robe, his charming stoic stature looked lost in thought.

Her footsteps brought to his attention, he turns his head.

Ji Hyo’s hand gripped the bag over her shoulder.

He smiled thinly as he turns to face her. “Good morning.”

She nodded, “Good morning.”

His eyes followed to the bag on her shoulder, making her uncomfortable. How are his wounds? She wondered.

He takes the enveloped slip on the table and took small strides towards her.

“How about breakfast first?”

She shook her head.

He nods and hands the slip to her.

(Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3_K1yb1y0c )

The divorce letter.

Slowly raising her hand to take it, her heart tremble. It was really a divorce letter. He had written it himself.

She looks up at him, meeting his warm smile.

“Goodbye.”

His words grazed her, though it was nothing but sincerity.

She looks away. Was this what she really wanted? Divorce?

Her mind fumbled, questioning this act. Without any words of farewell or questions, she slowly turned away from him.

Her body reluctantly moved on its own. With every step she took, her mind crumble piece by piece.

Was she willing to leave him? Or was it something else that made her pull herself away from him?

The reason..?

Walking across the yard, her chest swelter, wavering. What was it that she wanted?

Tears brim in her eyes, as she turns to look back. He had turned back to face the window, not giving her one last glance.

Reaching the door, she is met by Yoo with a horse. She turns once more, was it hoping to see his face one last time? Or was it to hear him call her name again?

***

Jong Kook didn’t sleep at all. Standing up as the aching pain had subsided. He puts his white garment over is body as he sat by the desk.

The blank paper placed in front of him faced him head on, as if challenging to write the words out. After gathering himself, he picks up the brush, dipping it in the black ink.

The lacquer ink contrasted with the white paper, seeping on the canvas.

Hesitating, he stopped, slightly pulling the brush up.

A promise to be kept or broken…

He pressed on and continue writing.

Starting with his name, he starts to tremble when writing the characters of her name. Before he could manage, the characters moved swiftly and he takes out his stamp.

Smearing the stamp with the red ink, he presses it firmly on the paper. Proceeding, he slips it inside an envelope.

Standing by the window, crickets chirped and the dark sky show the fading crescent moon.

Back to the cave… He holds her body under his, warming her up as cold sweat form over her temples. She shivered as the cold air swivels inside the cloth as he moved. Grabbing onto him, she cuddled in his chest.

His eyes bulge but slowly, he wraps his body around hers as their skin touch. Keeping her safe and warm under his care. The fire flickered slowly.

The echo of tiny footsteps on the floor caught his attention. He turns his head, glancing at a tiny figure dressed in traveling dark blue garments.

It was her.

A green bag lung over her shoulder as she looks at him, her expression blank. He’ll miss this look on her face.

“Good morning.”

She nods. “Good morning.”

His eyes lay on the bag over her shoulder. She was really leaving. He smiles thinly.

Picking up the enveloped slip on the table, he took small strides towards her.

“How about breakfast first?” He didn’t want her to travel on an empty stomach. The least he could do is feed her one last meal.

She shook her head.

He sighs internally but kept his smile and nods, handing the slip to her reluctantly.

Her eyes concentrated on the letter as he watches her under his gaze. Her charming face that glowed with the morning light. He blinks, looking away as he fought to not regret his decision.

“Goodbye.”

His words spoke with firm sincerity.

She didn’t give him one glance or speak a word before turning away, leaving him alone in the room. He watches her slowly step out of the room.

With that, he turns around. Taking a deep breath, he tries to keep calm. He wasn’t as strong as he thought he was. His eyes burn and clenching his teeth.

He heard the clanks of the horse echoing away. Only then did he stop hoping.

Keeping his eyes on the ground, he felt sweltering tears run down his face. He closed his eyes.

His broken heart bled and shattered but he stood tall. Because he is a man. A man does not go back on his words.

***

Ji Hyo enters her father’s mansion. She was greeted politely by everyone. Her father stood in the center of the court as he turns to look at her.

She kept a bright smile and walks towards her father. Bowing her head, she hands the slip to him with her trembling hands.

He looks at the letter in her hand and at her, who kept her head down.

Moving forward, he hugs his daughter, lightly patting her head. formed a lump, something she could not swallow.

“You did very well.” Her father’s warm voice melted her exterior.

*

Sitting in the small court in the Song Mansion, she glances at the divorce letter by table.

Their marriage was over. The letter was currently being processed and with her father’s voice, he granted her divorce.

As he held the judge hammer, ready to hit the wooden plate 3 times, he looks at Ji Hyo. Her lifeless eyes that linger on at the divorce letter.

He stops, hesitating. The hammer clank three times and Ji Hyo lowered her head, closing her eyes.

Her body shiver and unwanted tears threaten to be released but she kept her silence. She felt her father hold her hand, gently squeezing it.

“Don’t feel bad.” He sighs. “I know you are a strong woman, but you don’t have to always do what will make others happy.”

She looks up at her father. He had the most gentle smile as he always had.

“When saying yes to others, make sure you’re not saying no to yourself. You deserve to be happy.”

Tears stream down her face as she looks down dejectedly.

“You are the most perfect child that I have had. I can only go to the other side and face your mother if you are happy.”

“Father,” she looks up at him. “I… I…I did the right thing, right?”

He nods.

“Right? … But why… why does it hurt so much? It feels like I made a mistake.”

She sobbed nonstop.

***

Ji Hyo cuddles on her bed, refusing to eat or drink. She had no appetite. Tears trickled over her nose and into the other eye.

Jinri opened the door slightly and set the tray on the table. “My lady, please get up.”

Ji Hyo said nothing and buried her head in her pillow.

Jinri frowns and leaves the room.

Another sound and someone sits by the table.

Ji Hyo dreaded as she sat up. She meets Bolin as he sits by the table.

“Crown Prince Bolin.”

He looks at her, his expression blank. “The plans have been changed. With the current politics between Goryeo and Mongolia, the security has been raised. The travel will happen in the next few days instead.”

With her silence, he narrows his eyes to her lifeless eyes.

“Will you be okay?”

She scoffs lowly and looks up at him. “Why would I not?

He stands up to leave, “That’s good to hear then, Princess,” and vanishes out the window.

***

Jong Kook walks down the hall of the Kim’s mansion. He stops as he reaches Ara’s chambers. He was there to check on Ara as the maid exits.

Ara’s brother, the slave that he saved from the training camp was much healthier. He had been coming to the see Ara nonstop, stealthily over the last few days before her miscarriage.

He didn’t want to interrupt them but he wanted to speak with Ara.

***

“How did you have a miscarriage?” Her brother demanded.

A pale Ara sat still.

“Tell me. I have only been gone for 4 days and you had a miscarriage. How did that happen?”

Ara closed her eyes.

Her brother slammed his fist on the table. “I’ll kill him.” He stands up to find Jong Kook but she stops him.

“It wasn’t Jong Kook oppa’s fault.”

“Don’t make excuses for him.” He pulls his arm back.

“I said it wasn’t him.”

“Then who was it? His wife?” he shouts. Her silent reply left him fuming. “You…”

He rubs his face angrily and glares at her.

“It was 2 in the morning. I recall being nauseous. My back had been hurting all night. Standing up, I felt pain in my abdomen.

That’s when I started losing conscious. People started hovering over me and as I opened my eyes… all I saw was blood. Dark blood seeping through over my legs.” Tears drip down her face.

Her brother, infuriated. “Your child… I will avenge for you.”

She looks away, wiping away her tears. He takes the dagger out.

“That damn Jong Kook,” he mutters under his breath.

Frighten, she pulls her brother’s hand. “I said it’s not his fault.”

“It is! He tricked you to become his mistress, impregnate you, then ultimately causing your miscarriage to keep his rich wife. Why? Because your child is his heir!”

She starts to shake her head.

He grabs her shoulders. “They did this to you. They did! He manipulated you and has thrown you away!” He hesitates, “Though I am thankful that he saved my life, he can’t treat you this way.”

Ara’s lips quiver. Her body begins to tremble as the memories flushed in her mind.

 Kenji smiles deviously, lowly chuckled. “No matter how much you scream, no one can come help you.”

A cold sweat swiped over her temple.

Her breath became uneven as she touched her abdomen, while her brother goes on and on about how Jong Kook mistreated her.

 “What do you want?” Her voice grew meek and afraid.

His grip tightens as he grabbed her chin, paining her. She could see the fire in his eyes, she has really offended him. To her left hand, she was able to grab onto the comb from before and timely as he was focused on her face, she drew up the comb to scratch him.

The comb slightly scratched the side of his jaw but he caught it in time, tightly gripping onto her left wrists. Ara griped in pain as he slowly twists her hand a bit to make her powerless against him.

Her eyes shut and trembled, flickering. Her breath quicken, tears merging from her eyes. Her hands touch her body to grit in disgust.

He shadowed over her and she could only scream for help.

Ara sat in the room as she heard their voices echoed through her mind. Her lifeless eyes stared at nothing.

“They killed your child precious child!”

“SHUT UP!” Ara screams. Her pink eyes burned with raging tears. “Shut the hell up! You don’t know anything!”

“I do.” He looks at his teary sister. “Father had many concubines. Your mother was one of them.”

Ara heaved in deeps breaths as she fisted her hands.

“The other wives tried to make your mother miscarry before. They were afraid your birth will sway father-“

“The child is not Jong Kook’s!” Her high-pitched scream rings in his ear.

He was shock.

“The child is not Jong Kook’s.” She looks at him, “It is not my precious child… It is a bastard.”

“W-what?” his eyes widen.

“I…” she closed her eyes, embarrassed and dirty. “I was… .” Those words sting her already wounded dignity.

Her brother slumps back.

She sniffs. “The child is not his, therefore he is not responsible. Whether his wife did it or not, it doesn’t matter anymore. She has left now.”

“Ara-“

“I!” tears flushed down her face. Beating her chest, “If I lose him now, I will have no one!”

“Sister…”

“Don’t you dare say a word to him. If Jong Kook oppa hears a word of this… I’ll kill myself.”

“How can you…? You still have me…”

Ara tears away her glare, seething.

A tear drop from her brother’s eyes, unbelief to the words he heard. Agape and shock, he stands up, dragging his feet, walking away.

As he opens the door, he halts.

Jong Kook stood there before looking at him.

Without any other words, Jong Kook enters the room with the tray of water and cloth.

A pink-eyed Ara looks up, “Go-“ Stopping as she saw it was Jong Kook an her brother stood by the door.

Slumping back, she looks down.

Jong Kook wets the cloth in the warm water before taking her hand. He wipes her hand gently.

“O-oppa…”

He wipes the other hand.

Ara waited to hear him growl and yell at her but still, nothing. Should she apologize and beg for forgiveness…? His silence scared her more than anything.

“I-“

“Are you feeling better?” he asks. Finishing up, he puts the towel away. “I’ll come see you again. Rest well.” He faces her, smiling softly.

Endless tears drip down her chin.

He wipes the tears off her face. He firmly held her hand. “I knew it already.”

Squeezing her hand firmly.

“For not being able to protect you, I am sorry. I’m truly sorry, Ara.”

“Oppa…”

“I am not fit to be your husband. But I won’t let you get hurt anymore.”

Fearing what he was going to say, she held his hand back. “What are you saying…? It me that’s not fit to be yours. I-I- I’m dirty… I let someone else defile my body and-“

“Is that what he told you?” Jong Kook asked. “Is that what that person told you?” He seemed upset. Shaking his head, “Your baby is my baby. My feelings don’t change whether it was my child or not. But you,”

He observes her pale face, “You must heal. I will find and punish that bastard. But first, I need you to stop hurting yourself, alright?” He turns to leave but she grabs the sleeve of his robe.

“Does that mean… you still love me?” she gulps.

He said nothing and covers her with the blanket, leaving her alone.

Jong Kook passes her brother, saying nothing as he walks down the hall.

Behind the doors, Ara wails on the floor.

***

Indeed, Jong Kook knew Ara’s child was not his. The day Ji Hyo had left to Yoo’s house, he overheard Ara crying to herself. After not being able to find Ji Hyo, he was frustrated and had given up, returning to see if she came back.

He heard her cry and call herself names. Her room was a mess. Though it took tremendous self-control to stop himself from barging into the room to demand Ara tell him who was the father of her child, he chose not to.

Instead, he darted out of the house to look for Ji Hyo, attempting to clear up the situation with her. When he stood outside Yoo’s mansion in the dawning rain, he finally stopped himself from saying those words. What use was letting Ji Hyo know that the child was not his?

He just wanted to make sure Ji Hyo was safe. If he let others know something like that happened to Ara, he would be too cruel.

Jong Kook knocked on Yoo’s door, only with hopes that Yoo know where Ji Hyo was, nothing else.

But as things turned for worse, he got into a fight and all out argument with Yoo.

He didn’t mean all those mean words he spat at Yoo, he was infuriated with the chaos going on that he couldn’t control himself any longer.

Jong Kook sat in his study room when the arrival of the royal decree came in.

***

The day has arrived…

Ji Hyo looks up, seeing that Bolin, dressed in Korean clothes, blending in with the merchants stood by the gate. Not only that but Yoo assisted him.

Her heart grew heavy, sighing before leaving with them.

Riding the horse side by side, dressed as a man, her lifeless eyes wander about the roads. They have made it to the border gates.

“Princess,” Bolin’s voice broke the silence, making Ji Hyo jump.

“Not so loud,” she whispers.

He grins before looking at her. “Are you sure you have cut off all loose ends?”

Her eyes lost its twinkle, frowning but masking a smile. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just… two months’ time seems to be too quick with all the work you had to complete in the military training camp.”

She looks up at him, glaring, knowing that he had somehow penetrated the Goryeo camp. With this much information, he might as well have taken away the war formations.

“It is more than enough.”

He continues to lead the way, though he slowed down at the entrance.

“Why are we stopping?” she asks.

He turns to her. “When we arrive in Yuan, if it is your obligation, will you take on the title of Princess-cousin?”

She took in a moment before answering a hardening word. “No.”

“I will not, not without learning of every detail about my mother and this whole royal blood line story.”

“If it does come to it, will you marry me?”

Her eyes widen, “What are you talking about?”

He chuckles, “You’ve certainly heard about the arrange marriages that are set throughout the history of allies and strengthening power in the court, correct?”

She frowns, she had not been divorced for more than three days and this person is already questioning, or should she say, proposing marriage. becomes dry and turns away.

“Marriage is not a topic to discuss.” She was to move but his hand grabs her horse reins, making her glare at him.

“What is it, Crown Prince Bolin?” she gritted her teeth.

He glances at her, serious gaze transitioning into a much softer one.

“The loose ends are still loose.”

“I don’t know what you are saying.”

“Lieutenant Yoo is yet a Goryeo person. I believe that you should make it clear to him, how you actually feel. If he is who you want to accompany you, I have no objection but if his presence is not accepted by you, I will not hesitate to strike him down on the grounds of Yuan.”

“Crown Prince-“ she muttered under her breath, her anger rising.

“Princess,” he mutters, “don’t lie to yourself. I know you are still very much in love with General Kim.”

“I’m not.” Her voice became hoarse. “Who in their right mind would stay in love with someone who cheated a person’s feelings?”

“Then explain why you are hesitating.”

“I don’t need to,” her voice became louder.

“As the son of the emperor, I am obligated to take you as a whole, not as shreds of lifeless meat.” His voice became louder than hers but carefully speaking. “Mei Mei,” he takes deep breath as gently addressed her. “It is the emperor’s wish not to go against the agreement of him and Princess Chen Ji Hua, your mother. It is now my obligation to carry that responsibility and not make the same mistake.”

Ji Hyo glares at him. “Well certainly, your father must have made a very big mistake in addition to sending you as the emissary.” She turns around, getting off her horse as she advances towards Yoo who lingers in the back.

Her gaze softens and thinly smiles at him as he did the same, noticing the expression on her face.

***

They stood before each other. The morning shining sun had brought on a hint of warmth in this autumn season.

“Yoo,” his eyes flicker at her addressment. “I need to tell you something.”

He stood firm and tall, listening to every word that came out of .

In the end, his delighted expression grows gloomier and grimmer until he turns around, processing the information she gave him.

“So that’s why you asked for those information about the court…” he comments.

Guilty, “Yoo-ssi,”

But his reaction was all she predicted.

“Why?” his heavy breathing become stable. “Why not me?”

Ji Hyo stood behind Yoo, her hand moving toward his back. Yoo breathed uncontrollably as his eyes filled with tears. He felt a warm body hugging him from behind.

Ji Hyo moved closer and touched him, resting her head on his back. She moved her hand to hold onto Yoo. Knowing that it was Ji Hyo, Yoo closed his eyes, holding his fists as tears dropped down his cheek.

“Because I trust you.”

him her true feelings, her confusion, her conflict; she dreadfully hated herself for hurting him.

Then she loosens her grip on his clothes, removing herself from him.

Yoo felt her loosen grip on him. He bows his head lower as he could hear her footsteps further. He raised his head up and opened his eyes, watery pink eyes. He slightly turns back and sees her walking away slowly, his heart ache.

Ji Hyo didn’t blame anyone. If she had met Gong Yoo first, maybe she wouldn’t have fallen for Jong Kook. If Yoo saved her that day instead, maybe she would’ve married him.

She felt an arm grasp around her shoulders. Yoo ran towards Ji Hyo and back-hugged her, his arms wrapped around her. They stayed in that position for a while as he rests close to her shoulder. 

There, the answer to their decision, the path they chose.

“He doesn’t deserve you. But I hope he’ll will make you happy.” He lets go of her and turns around. With this, “He loves you. That snail loves you. He didn’t realize it only until late. Go to him,”

Ji Hyo felt tears dripping down her cheek.

“The next time we meet, we’ll meet as siblings. It would be a blessing to have you as a younger sister.”

A sibling, how wonderful it would have been if her sibling had not died. She would want him to be like Yoo, protective and manly.

His footsteps echoed in her ears as she, too, walks away then run. Desperately, she runs to the horse with all her might. Returning to the mansion was her only goal now, to stop him from going to the battlefield.

Yoo stops as he heard the horse trail away. He smiled weakly.

Just because we are alone does not mean that we have no one.

You were always by me side even if I had not realized it, what a fool I am.

Happiness is not define by having someone by our side, it is realizing what it is that our heart truly wants.