gaksitalGaksital (Review)

NIGHTSOUT -----REVIEW-----ARCHIVE

Mister Mime and Miss Chatterbox

Author: gaksitalGaksital

Reviewer: EXOtic_Sunshine 


Title : [5/5]

You absolutely rocked the title. It’s very unique. 

Foreword/ Description : [14/15]

The description was straight to the point, neither revealing too much, nor leaving the reader in the dark about what to expect. It was intriguing. The contrast between the two main characters was perfectly outlined and it gives the reader that shiver of anticipation and the urge to click and read the next chapter, just to meet the characters. Well done here! :)

You’ve done a good job on the foreword too. Instead of providing the readers with extracts from the story, you gave them quotes which best describe the story. I also loved how you introduced the characters as ‘Mister Mime’ and ‘Miss Chatterbox’, instead of their names, which you instead inserted in the ‘Characters’ space.

Plotline : [13/15]

Kudos to you for the layout. ;) I liked the fact that at the start of every chapter, you put one of the quotes you added in the foreword.

[Chapter 1] I was quite surprised when I noticed that you used informal speech for when Heeyeon talked, since you used formal language throughout the whole chapter. Despite not being unfamiliar to this way of speech, I was caught off-guard because I expected you to use more normal/formal speech. I expect this might be a bit confusing to understand for readers who are not native English speakers. For example, they will not know that ‘yer’ is equivalent to ‘your’/ ‘you’, when speaking. Also, you switched easily between the two in the same sentence; you used ‘yer’ and ‘your’ in the same sentence. I found Heeyeon’s manner unexpected, but sweet. One wouldn’t expect a five-year old to speak like that and it was a pleasant change from the usual, perfect and girly little girls.

[Chapter 2] It’s nice to learn about how Sunggyu views Heeyeon. Sunggyu’s feelings for her have evolved and intensified from the gratitude he felt towards her for her easy acceptance of him and his disability in their childhood, and he doesn’t know what to make of them or how to deal with them.
Again, I noted the ‘ya’/’you’ change.
It was beautiful how you portrayed that a bond like friendship doesn’t need words.
Their interactions were funny and we could see that Heeyeon didn’t consider Sunggyu any less of a person because he couldn’t speak.
It was sad when Sunggyu found the silence unbearable. Often, we focus on the difficulties faced by the family of a disabled person, rather than on the sufferings of the person themselves.
It was novel to see Sunggyu feeling jealous.
The conversation in the principal’s office was hilarious, especially with a hysterical Taeyeon!
Even though Dongwoo was really rude and offending, Heeyeon shouldn’t really have reacted like that and I felt bad for Sunggyu who felt useless because of his disability.

[Chapter 3] Sunggyu appears to be quite the ping-pong ball. He’s being hit on both sides and doesn’t know whose side to take.
Sunggyu was struck dumb (figuratively) due to the new emotions swirling inside him. It’s sad how little Sunggyu thinks of himself and how he thinks he’s not good enough got Heeyeon.
We can see what Sunggyu thinks of his friends. Dongwoo is the careful one while Heeyeon is outgoing.
He’s finally realising the depth of his feelings for her and doesn’t know how to deal with it.
I could feel Sunggyu’s pain when he learnt that the girl he loved was in love with his friend. It was hard to see him breaking down like this.

[Chapter 4] Heeyeon is quite the clueless girl and she’s unconsciously hurting Sunggyu a lot. Heeyeon and Sunggyu are both perfect examples of silent love.
It appeared that Dongwoo had no feelings for Heeyeon and I felt that he was going to hurt her.
Sunggyu showed how selfless and in love he was by leaving them to spend some time alone. He hid the fact that he was hurting so well that my heart ached for him.
Dongwoo was so insensitive and inconsiderate when rejecting Heeyeon. One would think he’d be gentler, considering they were friends.
Sunggyu’s way of offering comfort was sweet and actually more effective than words. It saddened me when Sunggyu wished he could have reciprocated the words he had desperately wanted to hear.

[Chapter 5] It’s good that you didn’t stress on the fact that they made love. It showed that their emotional investment mattered more that the physical part of this new step.
I was left feeling that Sunggyu was a kind of rebound for Heeyeon. It’s totally unexpected that she’d say she realised that she loved Sunggyu when she had been claiming to love Dongwoo.
I was so happy that finally something extremely good was happening in Sunggyu’s life.
Sunggyu’s nerves at the wedding were so cute. Heechul, the devil, succeeded in scaring him for a moment.
The kitchen moment was so funny. Sunggyu didn’t want to hurt her feelings but wanted to escape her cooking too!
Sunggyu was really the happy father-to-be.
Heeyeon’s way of describing motherhood was not what I expected. But then, it’s Heeyeon we are talking about, so figures. The last sentence succeeded in making me feel both anticipation and worry.

[Chapter 6] I could see Sunggyu struggling to sort out his feelings. He wanted to soothe and be soothed, but a part of him wanted to blame her as well. I wonder if things would have been different if he had gone in her room at the hospital, instead of leaving her alone.
They were both drifting apart. Instead of seeking comfort from each other for the loss of the life they had both created together, they suffered alone.
Sunggyu didn’t know how to approach her and broach the matter without hurting her, so he left it alone.
Meanwhile, Heeyeon wanted him to tell her everything would be fine, but when he did none of that, she closed up.
I felt my heart breaking when Heeyeon told him all those hurtful things. It was the last thing I’d expect coming from the mouth of someone who accepted him so easily when she was a child.

[Chapter 7] It was obvious that Sunggyu was unable to deal with this separation.
Seeing Dongwoo playing the peacemaker made up for how he behaved when Heeyeon had confessed to him.
Only, I don’t really agree with Heeyeon saying it feels nice to hear Sunggyu’s thoughts.
I was so happy when they made up.
What Sunggyu did for Heeyeon showed the depth of his love for her. It’s really true that actions speak louder than words.
It’s also the first time they’ve said ‘I love you’ to each other.
Despite the obstacles in their life, they made it and it was such a sweet and happy ending.
It clearly shows that love isn’t always easy; the people in love have to hold on.

Flow Of The Story : [18/20]

You paced your story very well. It wasn’t rushed or too slow. It looks like you covered the main events in their lives.
It was pretty confusing to comprehend the time in which the story was taking place. It’s vital that you mention it whenever there are time leaps.
For instance, in the first chapter, Heeyeon is portrayed as a very mature kid so when I shift to the next chapter, I’m confused because she has retained that maturity when growing up.
In the third chapter as well, it’s confusing because of the leap in time.
It’s especially hard to understand when the time leap occurs in the same chapter.
This occurs a lot and perhaps you should be more careful about it.

Character Development : [18/20]

Your characters have been well explained. As a reader, I almost felt like I personally knew them.
We were given several insights on Sunggyu and his feelings through his thoughts.
Throughout the whole story, Heeyeon is an outgoing, mischievous, blunt but sweet girl.
Dongwoo appears suicidal at first, but then, he turns to be an insensitive jerk and finally a considerate and caring friend.
The evolution and maturing of the characters were well explained too.

Grammar & Spelling : [14/15]

There’s the ‘ya’ / ’you’ and ‘yer’ / ‘your’ part. You should only stick with one. Switching between them only creates confusion.
You made no spelling mistakes, as far as I could see. You made excellent use of the punctuation marks; you weren’t stingy with your commas.
Your sentence structure was very good. Despite using complex sentences, everything was comprehensible.
I found no grammar mistakes. I know you must have made them at so point (We all do!), but you corrected them – I love that because I firmly believe that if we’re doing something, then we must do it right and do it well.

Overall Enjoyment : [09/10]

I gave you a very detailed analysis from my point of view. It was easy to do so since this is a short story. I’m sorry for being so late with this. It’s only that you announced that the last chapter will be posted soon and I wanted to wait for it, but when it did appear, I was busy.
I actually reviewed this chapter by chapter. I’d finish reading part of a chapter and I’d review it. Several times, I guessed what was going to happen and I was so happy each time I turned out to be right, lol. :D
I’m not really a fan of Infinite. But, I do read their stories from time to time if the plot seems interesting enough.
I can safely say this is the best Infinite story I’ve ever read in my life.

I’m glad to have read this. I hope you enjoy your review. Thanks. :)

Total : [91/100]


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