QUATER CINQ - 06everising - REVIEW BY Searingblaze000

WRITING - Depicts a good grasp of the language, occasional strange twist of phrases but overall good narration

SPELLING MISTAKES: Minimal

Before I say anything about the story, let me just say that my knowledge of SEVENTEEN is limited to the Adore U MV with occasional clips about Woozi resembling Suga and Vernon being one hot son of a gun. That's it. Seriously. I wasn't really sure if I should agree to review the story because I said I'd like to be familiar with the idols before I review a story about them but I still agreed because it is a oneshot and apparently, JiCheol is a rare pair? I don't know, Seventeen fans tell me. Anyway, that aside, I don't think that there was anything in the story that needed me to be VERY familiar with the idol's personalities, so I agreed to review it. And after researching the group a bit, here I am. 

There wasn't much in the way of description except that the story is a contest entry? I'm taking it that either butterflies and flowers were a theme, prompt or simply something the author chose to go with to portray her ideas. In any case, its a job well done. The symbolism of butterflies signifying dead coming to visit the living is quite... poignant, I'd say. I like the idea. Also, I wasn't very familiar with the language of flowers so I researched that a bit as well, so I could better grasp the symbolism and I'd say that the use of amaryllis as the flower of choice is good. 

This is a one-shot and basically, the story deals with one person's way of coping with loss of those dear to him... and how another helps that person move on. I don't know much about Woozi/ Jihoon in general except that he's kinda cute and his voice is really nice. But he came across as a very shy person who inspires, I dunno, protective instincts in others. That's certainly how he came across to me. His character is quite melancholic... while I was reading this, my inner psychologist was going crazy, telling me that this boy needs bereavement counselling or something, especially the way he reacted to his grandfather's death. But to me, it seems that that the entire premise of the story was this struggle to cope with loss, with death. Anyway, it seems to me that the early loss in his life made him quite wary and that is why it was difficult for him to open up to others easily and Seungcheol was an exception, someone who managed to break his shell. 

I liked the development of their relationship, even if it wasn't something explored in too much detail. The sweet courting period before they finally get together was decidedly cute and I really enjoyed it. In addition, I think it was an important to see how being with him impacted Jihoon for the better. The similarities between his grandfather and his boyfriend... did make me question about the Freudian implications but more than that, I think it made sense. He never really moved on from his grandfather's death until he met Seungcheol. So, it makes sense that he would look for similarities between the two. Jihoon's character is quite well explored and we catch a good glimpse of Seungcheol through his eyes and what I saw was good.

To me, the most striking thing about this one-shot was the atmosphere of this story - its somber, melancholic, with heavy clouds hanging over the horizon even if the sun shines for moments in between. Again, going with the symbolism of the story, the theme and topic being explored, it only makes sense and I think that the effort author put in to make it so, shows. 

The story is well paced and even though it is kind of longish, but for me, it did not lag or drag in anyway to make the read un-enjoyable. 

One thing that could be improved though... there are certain parts where it gets a little confusing as to what is going on and more importantly, if it is something that is happening right now or something that happened a few hours ago or something that happened in the past. Those parts which are written out in italics are obviously from the past but there were a few parts where I had to reorient myself to understand the timeline. At a few points, I had to reorient myself to understand that okay, the previous scene ended and now, we're talking about some time later. It broke the flow of the story for me, so I'd say that this is a part where you can improve and make it even better. A good way would be to have someone read it and tell you which parts were clear and where it might be a bit confusing, so you can amend that.

Other than that, I really think that this story was quite well written and well explored. The theme was interesting, serious, melancholic and I really admire how the author spins a dreary atmosphere in the story. However, even more impressive is the fact that the ending did not leave me bitter. Or even sad. Because unlike the denial Jihoon went through at his grandfather's death, unlike the nonacceptance and inability to reconcile himself with reality, towards the end he's matured a lot, for the better and it helps him come to terms with the loss... and how it's not really loss at all. Home is where the heart is, that is the message I got. And that scene, the whisper at the end really clinched the ending, making the story come to a poignant close. Honestly, I think that it was a very dramatic sort of read, something I'd like to see explored on theater, you know? Can you imagine it: dramatic lighting, whitish smoke surrounding the hero as he stands in front of his beloved's grave, saying those last words... and then, a whisper in reply, spotlight the hero's smile and then, curtains fall. End. Yeah? That's how I saw the scene in my head anyway. I really liked your effort, dear author, keep writing.