“Midnight Farewell” 

I wouldn’t really give it a full marks because personally I think it sounds a LITTLE awkward and cliche but I do like the fact that it links to your story well. 

 

Description and Forward/Graphics- 4/5

Description: I do like the cryptic style of your description, it is a hook to lure readers in and I think it is well-established. 

 

Graphics: I quite like the poster hahaha XD 

 

Conclusion: I liked the layout of everything, and your front pages seems pretty solid, so good job, and it is quite aesthetically pleasing :) 

Characterisation: 17/20

There isn’t really much characterisation going on in this story… Tiffany and Taeyeon are lovers who are professing their love for each other so there really isn’t space for characterization, at least to me, but I can catch glimpses of Tiffany’s strength and Taeyeon’s undying love for her, which shines through. That’s great and I think you handled it well. 

 

Plot- 20/25

 

The plot is very simple but sincere, so I’m going to give pretty high for this one. I think you handled the oneshot marvellously, it’s not at fanfic-classic level, but I do feel the emotions as I go through the text:) 

Flow- 10/15

I feel that the flow is great, but then again, this is a oneshot. A way to improve it might be to give it a little bit more backstory, a little bit more on the environment and the description. Using a very famous tumblr way of describing it— remember the joke about how the author writes, ‘the curtains are grey’? The author may mean that the curtains are legitimately grey, but we, as readers, might find that it gives the setting a melancholic air. 

 

Here is what I mean. I did a little rewrite of your post- scene. I think the scene whereby Tiffany brings up their marriage can be handled slightly better if you just spice it up with a little more details and descriptions. 

 

Taeyeon saw the long-haired girl pause, swallow, and then switch her position, her porcelain cheek against the pillow as another tear, glittering like diamonds in the pale moonlight, got soaked up in the pillow. She could feel something cold in her heart as she followed her lover’s gaze and her hand came up out of her own accord, wanting to soothe the girl on the bed, but stopped herself. 

 

There, in the white-washed moonlight, was a glittering diamond ring. Untouched by the constrains of time and the cruelty of reality, it shone, just as Tiffany’s eyes shone. What irony, that the ring caught the light of Tiffany’s eyes and her eyes caught the glimmer of the ring, and she could see the sparkle of the moonlight and yet the radiance of the very person she was missing was gone. 

 

“Taeyeon, we were supposed to be married yesterday…” She choked on her words, and Taeyeon swallowed the lump in . 

 

Grammar: 10/15

 

No jarring mistakes, although the first line was a little awkward. “Midnight has already passed” or “It was already past midnight” might be a better choice for wording. I can't really spot any jarring grammar errors although I do find your phrasing slightly awkward. Overall, some phrasings were slightly strange to read so I would advise you on reading more and honing your writing style into something more intricate and familiarise yourself with the language:) I do realize that English is not your first language and I really can't do much to help you with that... To write well, you need to have this personal style that you feel most comfortable with, and I sincerely wish that you find your style because I can see that you have potential to really be a great writer (and that's saying a lot because I read, like, hundreds of texts on a monthly basis as a literature student). Language-wise, really, read a lot:D Rooting for you, so hwaiting!! 

 

Writing Style (originality/author's voice)- 10/15

You do have a unique writing style. Just that maybe you can improve a bit more and make it boom:) 

Total: 75/100