ash

hongbinstaekwoon

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING : [18.5/20]

Overall, I actually did not spot any obvious grammatical errors. However, I did catch a few misspelled words, so do remember to proofread thrice if needed. Overall I think you did a good job on that, just make sure to double/triple check your work. 

I also did spot a couple of awkward phrases that didn't flow nicely, so I would recommend reading it out loud to yourself (don't worry the awkward sentences weren't in the ;]) 

Plot : [17.5/20]

Your plot is pure , but that’s okay, since your goal was to write a one-shot with Leo & Hongbin. ;) I do think it was a bit confusing when (spoiler alert!) someone was off someone else in the story. It was hard to tell who was talking during that scene. 

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT : [8.5/10]

Even though it is a one-shot you can see a development with Hongbin as he slowly opens up to Leo. 

However your development of N was kind of weird, but I think his only purpose in the story was to make it in a very intriguing way. 

I also liked how you included all 6 of them at the end, but there was no formal introduction to Ken & Hyuk. There's nothing wrong with that for me personally, but I think there might be other readers out there who might want to read an introduction to the duo. 

Other notes:
(These comments of course is just my personal opinion, and you do not have to change it if you are satisfied with it. These comments do not affect your score in any way, but they are my tips on how to make your story amazeballs.) 

This is something I’m recommending not just you, but everyone who is a here, is a website that ALL my English teachers have told me to reference if you need help, and it’s an extremely useful site: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/ This website has saved me from making so many gramatcial errors in my sentences and helped me fix my writing a lot.

Honestly, one of the reasons why this review took so long was because I had to read your one-shot about 15 times over & over again. I would get hooked into the , and I would forget I need to write a review for the story. (This is a compliment btw, although it's worded weirdly lol.) 

OVERALL Rating :

I love your description, a reason to write some LeoBin xD It was quite so you did not disappoint ;) I always knew Hongbinnie would be a bottom-type kind of guy ;) 

Hakyeon is a little $hit, that sassy umma knowing how to control everyone, especially Leo & Hongbin LOL (fyi, Hakyeon is my bias in VIXX ;] yes, that sassy umma is my bias in VIXX xD) 

Honestly, I'm a Neo shipper, but I think Hongbin & Leo are my 2nd favorite ship in VIXX now so thank you for that xD 

FINAL SCORE: 

18.5 + 17.5 + 8.5 =
44.5/50 
89/100

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