don't ask

kailuvexo

Rating: 3.25 out of 5 stars

 Cover (0.75/1)

The title is catchy and attention grabbing. The fact that it sounds forbidding makes me want to defy it and ask; but maybe that’s just the rebel in me. Your description was mostly character concentrated, and I thought that it didn’t really give any hints as to what the story is going to be about. Finally, the poster is very genre-appropriate and actually very nicely done! (Whoa, I reread your Foreword and found out that the poster was made by someone from our shop. Haha. Sorry if that sounds self-praising.) 

 Grammar and Vocabulary (0.5/1)

I think you have a generally solid grasp of the English language as a whole. If I were to be technical, however, I would say that it could still be improved in your writing. 
For one, I noticed that some of the vocabulary use was off. In the Description, for example, you used “seldomly” which isn’t really a word. To add to that, how you used it in the sentence was a bit awkward as well, because I kept wondering if you actually meant that Jongin frequently or occasionally got involved in rumors accusing him of being so and so. Note that all those three words mean something different, but frequently and occasionally have meanings that are closer to each other, while seldom sits at the other end of the semantic spectrum. 
You also made some errors in tense use; as in “how could she not have know”(should be known). Additionally, fragments were present when they seemed to be intended as full sentences. Still, I can say that more than half of the time, your grammar and vocabulary use was appropriate; so maybe those were just results of carelessness. 
My suggestion: Read and reread your chapters, or look for a beta reader. 

 Plot (1.5/2)

I think you’ve managed to build a good and solid foundation for the plot. To be honest, the plot is not something I’ve never seen before; although, I must say it’s also something that is not very commonly used in AF (at least, in the fics that I’ve read and seen). Given that, however, you were able to manipulate elements in the whole story to make it unique. And the way I feel about it is like… You know how in singing shows, judges tell contestants when they cover someone else’s song something like ‘you pulled it off and at the same time you managed to make it “yours?”’ I think the way you worked with the plot is similar to that. 
Still, some parts were a bit cheesy and/or exaggerated for me, like how Seoyeon destroyed Jongin’s phone and believes she can buy him another one while the latter seems to have no qualms about it. I suppose it’s understandable since this is a fluff fic and not slice of life, but personally as a reader, I get a little uncomfortable with details like this in stories. Otherwise, the pacing of the story was quite nice.

Characters (0.5/1)

I felt that your characters, specifically Kyungsoo and Jongin, were portrayed as the stereotype for the kind of characters they are. That is: Kyungsoo as the model student with a “figurative stick up his bum”, Jongin as the nice guy with practically no flaws. On the other hand, Seoyeon’s character has this impression of being hard to figure out so I’m anticipating your revelation of her back story and what not. Of course, since the story is still in its earlier stages, I won’t discount the possibility of character development for Kyungsoo and Jongin either. 
To conclude, I’d like to say that your story was quite fun to read. Also, so far you’ve introduced four characters (including Irene) in your story but I hope you wouldn’t limit it to that. I hope I have helped you with this review. Good luck with your story!

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