II. The Inheritors

Author: MousyCh

Reviewer: Suhana94

1. Title ( 9/10 )

- Your choice of title is good but it is too common. I’m sorry but I think there were several authors out there that also use this title but it is okay because although the title might be the same with other stories but I am 100% sure that the storyline is different. It is because every author has dissimilar perspective because you are you. :) In addition, this story also number 2 in your series, Between Heaven and Hell if I am not mistaken. So, it doesn't really matter.

2. Description and Foreword ( 10/10 )

- I really like your description and foreword. It gives me chill as I continue read it. My curiosity grew up and makes me can’t wait to read the story. You have done a good job!

3. Plot ( 17/20 )

- The plot of this story is great and I don’t see much problem here. I really like your idea especially the idea of the 7 princes from hell (my favourite prince is Beelzebub) was really amazing and I think I never found a story with this type of plot except your story. It is one of a kind. *clap hands*

4. Character Development ( 13/15 )

- The characters are well thought out. I really like the way you portrayed each characters especially your main character, Ra Hee. All the characters have their own specific characteristic that gives of “Hey, I’m different from others.” Besides, you have a lot of unique characters in this story such as Belial, Asmodeus and others. It might make the readers confused because there are many characters with rare name but from my point of view, it is not confused at all because you described well the characters.

5. Grammar, Spelling and Sentences Structures ( 14/15 )

- To my delight, I found almost no spelling errors. I only notice a few spelling error that can be corrected such as ‘Taeyeon HIS Hyungsik again.’ I think you want to write ‘hit’. Right? Your grammar is excellent too. Are you a native English speaker? I must say that your writing is very good. But I also notice a few mistake. As example, ‘She knew he never showed his real face in her dreams. She didn't know how SHE looked in Hell and she was scared to find out.’ Look at the words that I change to capitals; I assume you want to refer to Beelzebub right? But Beelzebub as I read your story, it was a ‘He’. Please correct me if I was wrong. There are also few more sentences that have the same mistake like this such as you wrote ‘He’ instead of ‘She’ when referring to Ra Hee. What I notice is there were only simple mistakes in your writing. So, my suggestions are maybe you can hire a beta reader or correct it by yourself because as I said before it was simple mistake. Nice job!

6. Flow of the Story ( 8/10 )

- Your flow of story is nice. It smooth and not too fast. Readers can understand well the story. Good job!

7. Writing Style ( 8/10 )

- Your writing style is good. It is not complicated and confusing but as I said before a simple mistake can lead the readers to misunderstand your story. Mistake such as wrong pronouns ‘he’ or ‘she’ can make readers confused. So, make sure don’t do it again after this. *wink*

8. Overall Enjoyment ( 9/10 )

- Personally, I really enjoyed this story because I like this kind of genre. Thank you for sharing this story with me and I must say that you have done a good job because it is not easy to write story for this genre. It needs a lot of imagination and you’ve done it. Lastly, I hope you can accept my opinion from the point of view a reader and forgive me if what I said was wrong.

9. Final Score ( 88/ 100 )

- You’re really a talented author. Your idea, just Wow! Continue your great work in the future and can I be your number one fan because all of your stories had attracted me. To sum up, I have fall in love with your work and I’m going to read it later after I finish my exam. Bye! *wave hands*

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