Chapter Thirty Six

The Promise – Jay Park 2014

Dara POV

September 1, 2015

“Hellooooo? Seriously Sandara Park, are you even paying attention?” Park Bom had been demanding Dara to listen to her six times for the past twenty minutes where she had mostly been speaking non-stop without breathing, or at least Dara believe she isn’t breathing.

Dara and Bom were doing their scheduled weekly skype conversation, despite whatever Dara is doing she’d call her silly best friend. At least she was at YGE at the moment, with a recording scheduled in two hours.

Dara clears and shakes her head sadly as she puts away her phone after noticing that she still hasn’t gotten a message from Jay. “I’m sorry, I’m listening. I swear.”

Bom rolls her eyes, “Right, as I’ve been rambling about random stuff that you should have mentioned the fact it doesn’t make any sense.”

Dara shamefully bites her lips and frowns apologetically, “I’m sorry?” there was a sad tone in her voice.

Bom sighs this time, “So, Jay still called you today?”

“He’s just busy that’s all,” Dara smiles sadly, she had texted Jay three hours ago and he still hasn’t responded. Actually it’s been five days since she’s seen Jay. She was afraid to admit that Jay’s been avoiding her for days, she just wants to assume that it’s because of his busy schedule. Though honestly despite of how busy he is, he always tries to respond to her messages at least an hour within her sending one and would never go more than two days without trying to see her.

Bom raises an eyebrow doubting her response, “Do you actually believe that?”

She had already told Bommie earlier in their conversation how Jay had been acting strange since the day after she said I Love You. What she didn’t tell Bom was that, Jay had started to seem different right after she had said it. She refused to doubt her excuse because that only meant that telling Jay her feelings was a wrong move or even put a wedge between their relationship.

This is the first time she that saying those three words aren’t bringing comfort and stability but distance and well… she was afraid to say it.

“Yes I do.” I hope so.

“Maybe he is just giving you time to think, you know with all the recent events going on.”

Dara’s head snapped up from looking at her lap to her tablet monitor, she could feel her glare burning through the screen. “What does that supposed to mean?” she didn’t like Bom’s tone as if secretly she was trying to accuse Dara of something.

Bom just shrugs, “Well now that Kiko and Jiyong have officially broken up… well there might be those thoughts to cross your mind…”

Dara groans in frustration, she had this conversation with Chaerin already before but at least the younger didn’t say anything, though it was obvious that she wanted to but she just kept shut because she knows that Dara doesn’t need to hear what she thinks but Dara needs to just vent out whatever she needs to say without any objections. And then there’s this member who doesn’t really have a single subtle bone in her body to stop herself from being too direct. Bom is always honest and brutal for her own good. “Seriously, whatever Jiyong does with his future relations I have nothing opinion about it, have thoughts or slightly have a care about any of it.” She hissed through clenched teeth.

Bom raised an eyebrow and grinned seemingly delighted that she brought on some sort of reaction. “You sound angry.” She asked innocently as if this wasn’t her fault that Dara is acting this way.

“No!” Dara replied far too quickly and in a high pitch tone that she would like. Dara sighed and cleared . No matter what she’d say now, she was losing the battle that is of the 4D Park Bom. Whatever she’d say in defense to this would be found as a lie or a cover up. When Bom thinks she is right, nothing will be able to make her change her mind.

But there was no way Dara wouldn’t give up that easily not today and not about Jay, “I really don’t what to say anymore, because you wouldn’t believe me anyway.”

Bom didn’t falter at all, “Well I’d rather if you believe in your own words.”

Now she was looking straight directly at the camera lens and not at the video transmission of Bom. “Well, is it because it’s not what you want to hear?”

That question caught Bom off guard, “What?”

Dara is always the type of girl that just lets people tell her off without answering back even though the comments would hurt her but for some reason today, she wasn’t going to just let it go that easily. It was also probably because it’s her best friend. “Well you have the tendency to want to control my decisions but when I go slightly towards what you suggest, you make it seem like I’m foolish for listening to you.”

Bom seemed uninterested and unaffected by her accusation. “You are just imagining things,” Bom shrugged.

This is one of the things the she dislikes about Bom. If Bom thinks what she is doing is right then she doesn’t care what people say or think about what she believes. And to Bom’s misfortune today, Dara wasn’t going to give up that easily. Today she was letting out all her frustrations on her best friend. “I don’t think so because for about a good year you keep trying to get me to look right in front of me if I want to try to find happiness…” she remembered how she would always hint out that Jay was in love with her, without really naming Jay. Dara knows her faults as well that she does have issues seeing other people’s feelings for her. “And when I found out it was Jay, you were so against it that you got so upset at me when I started dating him.”

Bom raised an eyebrow since this is actually the first time that Dara has spoken to her like this, sober. “Well that is because I wanted you to be sure that your decision is because you want to be happy and not because you want everyone else around you to be.” She might not name who the ‘everyone’ is but it’s clear that she doesn’t need to say who it is.

“But won’t that mean, it’s my decision and not yours?” Dara snapped at Bom.

Dara clenched her fist as it had started shaking. She had thought about this long and hard before she even went in to start a relationship with Jay. She didn’t want to get into it just because she was running from a decision she clearly regretted right after she had made the choice to choose her career over Jiyong but she was came to peace with it when she had heard Jiyong and Kiko started dating. She was angry at Jiyong for the longest time but it was actually herself that she was furious at… it was just easier to blame Jiyong because who wants to admit that oneself was mistaken. She was glad that Jiyong had found his happiness but that didn’t mean she was delighted about it.

Jay indeed made her happy and also slowly healed her heart on the wound that she inflicted herself. She was so ashamed about it that no one really knew why Dara and Jiyong broke up… and what’s worse she’s letting everyone assume that it was Jiyong who was at fault. It wasn’t that hard to keep it that way either since Jiyong dated Kiko right around the time after Dara and Jiyong broke up.

Bom lips curled to the side, she seems like she is happy with this conversation or the fact that Dara is standing up for herself. “Well, if you are sure.”

Dara sighs, she should probably just calm down now since her plan is backfiring on her because she can definitely read into Bom’s smile. “I know I am. Jay is the one I’m dating now. He is the one that I want to focus on. He is the one that I want to be with.” Her tone was strong and it didn’t break for even one second. She wanted to make sure that she was looking into Bom’s eyes instead of her face of the transmission.

“Okay then. I believe you.” Bom said with a nod.

They were both quiet for a few seconds until Dara could feel her heart twitch since she felt guilty for snapping at Bom. “I am sorry.”

Bom then laughed, it was clear that she wasn’t upset at all. She was actually impressed. “If you apologize now, you’d lose your edge.” Bom teased.

Dara blushed and put her head down, “Well the guilt is eating—“

The studio door opened and Jiyong walks in not realizing someone was in there, let alone Dara. Jiyong and Dara set eyes on each other for a second, yet that second seemed like the most awkward one they’ve ever had in history. The room suddenly got colder, and it wasn’t the AC.  “Miane…” Jiyong immediately said and he turns to leave the room without another word.

“YAH! You ungrateful brat! You aren’t even going to say hi?” Bom yelled angrily that her voice echoed in the small studio.

Jiyong froze on his spot, obvious regret in his face showed that he wasn’t quick enough to leave the soundproof room. If he had shut the door then he wouldn’t be able to hear the raging noona that he had end up ignoring. So he turned around and smiled at Dara pretending that the past few seconds of awkwardness did not just happen. Then he walks over towards them, stopping just behind Dara and waves at the screen. “Anyeong, noona. Jal Jinasaeyo?” (Hello, have you been well?)

But Bom didn’t accept his greeting coz she was still frowning at Jiyong, “Aish, don’t say hi to me now. You are just nice to me because you don’t want anything from me.”

Jiyong clears his throat as his eyes land on the top of Dara’s head. Then he shakes his head in response to Bom’s statement, “Ani, noona. I’m not like that.”

She wasn’t looking at him at all which was fine by him because it would be easier to act like nothing was wrong. This is actually the first time they were in the same room together since he’s been back in Korea from their China activities especially after that confrontation they had days ago. She knows that Jiyong came back from China today but she secretly wants to speak to him even though she wants to avoid him at the same time but it also seems like he’s also avoiding her too because this wasn’t the first time they bumped into each other today… she definitely saw him go the other direction when he thought they were going the same way.

“Goetjimal…” Bom pouted and rolls her eyes. “Sure, whatever.”

But Jiyong just laughed brightly at Bom.

Dara could feel her breath hitch and from his laugh. She hated herself… why does he affect her this much.

“Jiyongie, I’m sorry about you and Kiko.” Bom said apologetically.

But there was something in Bom’s tone that Dara knows so well, Bom isn’t being entirely sincere. Dara’s eyebrows met in confusion. She looks up at Jiyong and she could see that he swallowed nervously.

“Yeah, it’s alright. Things just sort of don’t work out like they should.” Jiyong responded firmly. It was as if Jiyong was relaying a different message to Bom.

Dara just took turns glancing between Bom and Jiyong. There is definitely something these two are hiding from Dara. She could tell because Bom has that victory pretend empathetic smile on her face.

Am I missing something here? (a/n: answer to this is in chapter 15)

Then Bom claps her hands and quickly said, “Alright. Well I got to go. Got voice lessons here in thirty minutes. Got to start preparing since we might do a comeback next year.”

“Jamkkanman—,” Dara said in panic since that would mean that she would be left alone with Jiyong.

“Bye, take care!” without another word Bom hung up.

Dara was staring at the blank screen but mostly at Jiyong’s reflection on the phone. At least he’s as uncomfortable as she is.

“I—“

“Looking for—“

Both Jiyong and Dara said in unison…

Jiyong clears his throat and gestures Dara to speak up first.

“Um, the wifi in the gym is broken so this was the only empty room I could talk to Bommie in.” Dara explained as to why she was in the studio that Bigbang always uses.

He shakes his head, “It’s alright. I was just looking for Youngbae he said he was here.”

Dara pursed her lips together and thinks about it. She had been in this room for about an hour now, no one still had to try to get in. Once again, his bestfriend is helping him out to talk to her. “Um, no.”

There was definite tension in the room that Dara had to stop herself from shivering. It was the most awkward one they’ve ever encountered ever. At least when t