Chapter Two

Hello - G-dragon ft. Dara (Heartbreaker 2009)

JIYONG POV

June 15, 2015

Jiyong was surrounded by papers in his studio in his room. They had submitted the songs that they are planning to record for Bigbang's D series, Sober and One Day but for some reason he isn't still satisfied for some reason and is staring at the pieces of paper on his table that are the songs he had written over the few months, weeks and even yesterday. He felt that Sober for their album for it has been the lively upbeat sound Bigbang has been doing these past promotions. But One Day didn't seem to fit and he didn't know why, and there is a song in the pile that is staring at him in the face these past few days but he didn't seem to have the nerve to even try to send it, let alone have anyone hear it.

The song bared his soul and his deepest desires in his heart. And if she heard it he was afraid how she'd react to it. Would she take it as a sincere apology or would it make things more awkward between them than they already are, he was terrified to take the risk. He usually never gets scared of risk but when it comes to her he had to be extra careful.

He had done a lot of stupid things in the past few years and he had thought of it as a way of being more mature in the future and learned from them. But one mistake that he kept repeating like the bastard that he is, was break her heart many times than he'd like to admit.

Jiyong had his decent share of heartbreak in the past, thus the result of some songs he's released or written over these years. Sure he had also broken a few girl's hearts along the way but not as much as he did with her. Yet, she always forgave him giving him chance after chance until finally she couldn't anymore.

"Dara," He breathes her name sorrowfully. He had done a lot of stupid in his lifetime but breaking up with Dara is at the top of that list. He is at the stage in his life that he has realized she was the best thing that had ever happened to him, of course he knew that but he just was too blind to see.

He's going to be officially 28 in Korean age in august and the only serious relationship he had in his adult life is with her since they had dated for more than 4 years before they officially broke up. Granted, sure he also thought of Kiko as his girlfriend but his relationship with her was more fun than serious. When they had started getting serious they had both started getting troubles thus having an unstable relationship of breaking up and getting back together as a habit. They were just with each other eventually just for company. It wasn't only about three weeks ago when they officially had called it quits knowing it was better this way.

Now, lately all he can think of is how he can at least try to talk to Dara. He knows she has been deliberately avoiding him every since his scandal of "My Dear Kiko" leaked in May of last year, sure when there would be a crowd she'd be alright with smiles and pretending they are civil but if there is a chance they'd be alone she'd always go out of her way to avoid him. He knew why, and he just gave her a break, making things easier for her most of the time. He always avoid the places that he knows she'd be in.

So this past two weeks, he has been doing the exact opposite helping her avoid him. And seeing her smiling and laughing made him realize how much he had missed her these past two years almost. How he had forgotten how this girl affected him so much was beyond him. His feelings for her that he thought had stopped resurfaced rather fast and it hit him really hard… they were stronger than before and he was sure they never really went away. He was just hiding it because he thought he was ready to let her go. When in all reality, he had always love her and wanted to prove to her that he has matured and that he will never hurt her ever again.

“You idiot, you’ve told her that so many times…” he grabbed his hair in frustration, “But you lied to her everytime…”

He stared at the pieces of papers on his table, he had never let Kiko see his lyrics that is in this room because it was far too obvious who these songs were written for, and it was always for Dara.

He knew that Dara would doubt his intentions if he would just go up to her just to make conversations or something. He has to start somewhere… and if she won’t accept then it is his damn fault for letting her go in the first place.

On days where thin rain falls like today

I remember your shadow

Our memories that I secretly put in my drawer

I take them out and reminisce again by myself

He reads the words he had of the song he just wrote not two days ago. He was conflicted as to if he’d give her the song or give it to Hyunsuk hyung to be sang by Bigbang. Maybe she’ll hear the song and would understand what it means…

He knows he has to start somewhere, small steps just to prove to her she’s his forever…

He takes a deep breath recalling the first time he had told Dara he liked her. It was around the time he was preparing for his album for Heartbreaker. He was supposed to make a collaboration song with Dara and he ended up writing the song Butterfly and the song had answered some lingering questions he had for Dara… and that’s when he knew that he liked her. He didn’t do anything about this for months because he thought it was just a crush but the more time he spent with Dara from the recording and practices, he had finally admitted to something he refused to say out loud… He likes her. Biggest reason why he’d usually ignore those feelings is that for one thing Dara worked in the same company. If anything would have happened that would end the relationship, it would be an awkward situation for both of them and lastly and the most important one that Youngbae always loved reminding him about at the time, she is on a dating ban.

But eventually he just listened to his heart and went for it… he still remembered how he made the first step like it was yesterday, it also didn’t help that he dreamt about it yesterday.

October 2, 2009

"Great job everyone!" Their proxy dance trainer praised everyone after practice. It was already midnight and they'd extend their practice for another hour because Dara was busy with her own practice with her members for tomorrow's SBS Idol Big Show.

The trainer went up to Jiyong and patted his back, "I am going to head out first. Great job." He complimented the great G-dragon who he worked with for the first time.  

"Gamsahabnida." Jiyong bowed briefly. Jinyo usually trains with 2NE1.

"Dara, go home and get some rest." Jinyo called after her who was still staring at the mirror mostly her feet.

"Deh, oppa. Good night." Dara said softly, there was a bit edge to her voice that Jiyong recognizes. Something is bothering her...

Jiyong walked over to his bag and grabbed his bottle of water drinking it slowly. He waived at the last dancers who had left the practice room. There was only 6 total dancers for his "Hello" performance with Dara tomorrow.

When it was just him and Dara, He was just looking at her on the corner of his eyes just so he won’t be obvious that he was actually watching her. He had to be careful. If Youngbae had noticed that he likes Dara then s wouldn't be far behind into figuring it out either. Not that he cared, but Dara is on a dating ban and he didn't want to cause trouble for her career.

He wasn't always interested in Dara that way other than being his noona besides he had a girlfriend then so he wasn't looking. Everything had changed when Sohee and him broke up earlier this year. Not that Dara was never pretty, he always thought that she was beautiful, he sees her other than her beauty.

But how he saw Dara was different after 2NE1's debut. He called himself a fanboy, which was normal. The way she held herself on stage was so powerful yet cute at the same time. Bom-noona, Chaerin, and Minzy had their own way of performing but his eyes was always drawn to the girl at the back of the group trying her best to be seen in her own way not needing to be the center of the stage. Even that one mistake she did that he was the actual reason why he realized that the way he was watching her was definitely something else other than being a fanboy.

It made him realize that he always had these feelings for her. He didn't want to seem like he was betraying Sohee when in all reality was the reason why his feelings for his girlfriend was fading.

He remembered Teddy-hyung asking how his relationship with Sohee was doing before the impending breakup because most of the songs Jiyong has written is about loving someone from a far. He didn't know the answer to that but he had that feeling that indeed it was written for someone and he wasn't sure for who.

The day they broke up, was when he wrote Butterfly. He was surprised he was able to write an upbeat song about being close to someone when he was just recently heartbroken. Before writing the song Dara flashed into his mind and he was halfway through the song when he realized what the lyrics were. It confused him at first as to how he had written this much with Dara-noona in his mind. He made excuses saying that it was because he was supposed to write a song for his collaboration for Dara but there isn't a part here that she would be able to sing. So he thought about Sohee again thinking about the remaining lyrics but he couldn't and he ended up writing 'Heartbreaker.'

After that he wasn't really sure what changed, he wanted to be around, to talk to her, make her laugh. Just her presence alone helped ease his slightly wounded heart. Of course he couldn't tell Dara that he was needing comfort since only s and Teddy knew about him dating. YG-sajanmin found out about it after the breakup had already happened. Though she seemed like she knew because she'd always end up him laugh from all the silly