Chapter Thirty Two

The Other Side of the Door…

Dara POV

November 22, 2013

Dara had been drinking s all night so the girls wouldn’t be suspicious, especially Bom. She had been noticing that Dara’s appetite had changed and even the type of food that Dara usually can’t stand for, she is even craving. She had just told Bom that this happening because her period is coming. (Which is mostly true because one in a while where these circumstances happen but not drastically like this.)

She had to bribe the bartender good money to double the shots for Chaerin and Bom’s drink just to get them drunk (The maknae had just started drinking this year so her alcohol tolerance is still low to where she doesn’t need to do that…) enough that they wouldn’t notice that Dara isn’t drunk… not even slightly.

She wished she was though just so she can clear her mind but she knew she couldn’t…

Even though she isn’t sure that she is pregnant, she just didn’t want to risk it just in case she is. She hasn’t gone to the doctor to for a check-up yet since Jiyong insisted going on with her. After she had told him she’s late for a week and a half they had night to talk it out but unfortunately he had to leave for Japan about three hours later since Bigbang’s first Dome Tour started two days later and the boys still had to rehearse.

She still recalled the conversation they had since it has been what has been in her mind when she isn’t as busy… Well mostly Jiyong talking since she just stared at him pacing the room.

Dara was sitting on her bed and all she did was just kept her head down looking at her hands on her lap. She couldn’t stand watching Jiyong anymore. She was already dizzy from the situation so it didn’t help that all he did in the past twenty minutes was walk around the room and would mumble things to himself.

She wanted to throw up and she was sure it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s late but because she hasn’t eaten all day. She believes telling Jiyong made it more a reality than keeping it to herself.

This is actually happening… I could actually be pregnant.

“Dara,” Jiyong seemed like he had said her name more than once because of his expression. “Did you eat yet?”

She blinks and nods. She didn’t really have an appetite to anyways she’d probably just end up staring at it blankly like what she had been doing all day. Even Chaerin asked if she wasn’t feeling well, that’s why their practice ended early today.

Jiyong sighs and shakes his head. Wordlessly, he leaves her room. He came back a few minutes later with a glass of water and a piece of peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He sits next to her and kisses to top of her head softly. “You’ve been staring blankly at everything today, so just eat something alright?” he whispered against her hair.

He knows her too well, he could see through her eyes without saying anything. He had gotten better at that this past year. So she didn’t understand why she even tried lying, “I’ll try.” She mumbled honestly and these were the first words she said the past twenty minutes too.

“I know we aren’t even sure we are pregnant yet, but we just have to be careful if you are.” He touches her chin to lift it up to face him and he kisses her lips lightly. “We’ll figure this out together alright?”

She nods again. She just did the pregnancy test before he got here.

It was negative.

It doesn’t really mean anything because her mother had shared before that her mother’s pregnancy tests always come out negative with her, Durami and their maknae, Sanghyun… so Dara fears that would be the case for her as well, so the only resolution to get an accurate result is through blood testing and they don’t know when they’d be able to have time to see a private doctor that isn’t under YGE company. Jiyong insisted on going with her and he didn’t want her to go alone.

“I hate that I need to leave for Japan late tonight and we wouldn’t be able to see each other for another four days.” Jiyong said in frustration. Bigbang’s X Dome tour starts tomorrow and it kicks off for three days. After that is Mnet Asian Music Awards in Hong Kong which includes rehearsals and the actual awards ceremony for two days. He stands up again and started pacing…

He does this when he is trying to solve something… right now he isn’t just her boyfriend Kwon Jiyong but he is emanating his leader charisma. She’s seen this a few times before when there is some sort of trouble that happens with his album or bigbang’s album or anything to do with work that is mostly short of time that it needs to be solved with in a quick time frame. And almost always he finds a solution that works.

Is this a problem that needs an immediate fixing?

And in all honesty, she doesn’t even know how to react yet. She was hoping that maybe his reaction to this news would influence her feelings but the fact that he has turned into G-dragon and not her boyfriend has got her more confused and more anxious. She knows that Jiyong always wanted kids but it’s definitely different when the reality of it is actually here. That both of them could actually be parents in the midst of the height of their career.

Oh god… her heart literary stopped beating

"We probably should come out in public, we'll have someone leak some photos so it wouldn't be suspicious that we just admitted to dating because of this." Jiyong started calculating things in his head as he starts to find solution for the public to take this news lightly, "And we need to see the doctor soon, to determine if you can still work before you'd completely start showing—"

After those words Dara's mind has left her and panic started bubbling in . How can she completely forget that first and foremost she's part 2NE1 and Jiyong is part Bigbang. That's why he's acting like this, he is not only trying to save her and him but also their respective groups. Dating among idols especially in the same company is a scandal so a possible pregnancy scandal would be twice trouble that could cause YGE a big ordeal. There is only about four months before the public will start noticing if she is indeed pregnant (she remembered that’s when her mother started showing when she was pregnant with their maknae.)

This could ruin Bigbang… thought it wouldn’t be as harsh in public eye for the boys but this could destroy 2NE1 that they wouldn’t be able to come back from this. Her members who have dreams of going solo or having their own career aside from 2NE1 would be tarnished because of her carelessness.

As much as she loves being a singer and living her dream, this is what she truly hates about being an idol. She can’t live her life properly and she has to keep lying to the fans to keep them happy. I’m sure her fans wouldn’t mind if she’s dating but Jiyong’s fans would definitely not take this news well. And the consequences of this would be drastic… she also has to think about YGE because one of the main incomes of the company is Bigbang, G-dragon, and 2NE1.

"Baby?" Jiyong's calm voice disturbed her almost panic attack. He was kneeling in front of her, it would have been fine but he was leaning on one knee.

She widens her eyes, if she was in the midst of a panic attack, she's there now. She had completely stopped breathing all together.

This isn't the best solution....

And once again, he could read her like an open book and he just caresses the side of her face lightly with his fingertips, "We've talked about getting married and starting a family before. It still hasn't changed only difference is, it just came earlier." He just smiles at kisses the tip of her nose. He had a shine in his eye that escaped through his facade of hiding his true feelings.

Her heart clenched, he was also just waiting for her to react as well. And since she had been quiet the whole entire time he just took the reins and thinking that this is something that needs fixing is because she is on a verge of a panic attack or was… probably now she’s already there. “Talking about it is different, this is actually happening.”

He tucks her hair on her ear, “I know. Either way, we’ll figure it out together. You shouldn’t have waited a week. I didn’t want you to worry alone.” Then he kisses her forehead and said, “I can talk to Tablo-hyung—“

“No!” she gasped quickly.

He shushed her softly trying to help her calm down, “Baby, at some point we have to tell someone,” he was thinking of Tablo, leader of Epik High, because him and his wife announced their pregnancy news before their wedding date, “And preferably Hyungsuk-hyung. They are going to eventually notice that your body is going to change.”

Him mentioning the CEO’s name in such an intimate tone, made Dara think that Jiyong would handle everything. But it still doesn’t mean everything is going to be alright. Everything else is going to change and at some point she has to accept that.

She releases a long breath out, to her she thinks this is just some mix up due to the stress for 2NE1’s comeback since this is actually launching their first world tour, she hasn’t had this stressed since her debut. But Jiyong’s belief that she might actually be pregnant is making her panic her more. This isn’t just her life that is going to change… it’s Jiyong’s as well and what makes it even more worse is that this includes her members and the Bigbang boys as well. She hated this situation even more instead of being happy about it.

“What if we aren’t… what if I’m not?” She said weekly thinking of another possibility the way that makes things easier for everyone.

He smiles sadly, and says. “Then you aren’t. You are just probably going to pick a fight with me for no reason at all, get mad at me and want to murder me in my sleep for snoring. While I wait for the storm to calm and probably feed you some cookies and cream chocolate just to prevent a blood bath.” He states the things that happen when she is indeed on her monthly.

She wasn’t sure if she should laugh or cry. She just rest her forehead on his shoulder, “How can you make jokes so easily.” She was on the verge of tears. She hid her face because she was afraid that he’d see through her something that she doesn’t even know herself.

He kisses the side of her forehead and sighs, “Because this is something you shouldn’t worry about too much. I’ll take care of everything baby. If you don’t want to let anyone know until it’s time then we can do whatever you want.”

“Aren’t you scared?” She isn’t even sure what she is scared about but she is already thinking of the impending hate that she is going to get.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.” he says honestly and then he wraps his arms her comfortingly, “But all I know is that, as long as we have each other then I think everything is going to come to place. Whether the fact that you’re late is because of indeed stress or because we are actually going to have a child. We’ll figure what will happen next together…”

And with that she didn’t say anything anymore because she didn’t know herself.

“Are you just going to sit there or are you going to dance?” Bom asked as she finally sat next to Dara who was just watching Chaerin and Minzy dance with Daesung.

Dara just grins and shrugs, “We haven’t slept for about sixteen hours, I think it’s safe to say I’ve lost my energy.”

Bom just rolls her eyes and takes another shot, “Suit yourself and be boring. I on the other hand am going to drink because we aren’t even sure when we’d have our free time with the packed schedule we just got for this comeback.”

Probably soon enough, Dara thought desperately but she just drank from her glass so Bom wouldn’t be more suspicious that she is slightly boring lately and that Dara isn’t drunk. “Well, have fun for both of us.”

Bom then stares at her knowingly and whispered, “I am not stupid you know… I think it’s late enough that you and Jiyong can just head to your hotel and get yours.” She winked at Dara. Since the boys had been in Japan for a good week, the couple would always usually sneak out when it’s late enough that no one would notice that they had already left to be alone.

Dara just smirks and rolls her eyes. Leave it to Bom to make something romantic sound dirty. Besides with the fact that there is a possibility they aren’t pregnant, she had stopped taking birth control just in case she is. So if she’s going to get some (in Bom’s foul language) then that alone would probably get her knocked up.

“Yah!” Dara yelled out since Bom pushed her off the chair.

“Go to Jiyong. I know you want to and force him to dance.” Bommie said as she dragged Dara towards the stairs to the VIP section where the two Seunghyuns and Jiyong are hanging out at.

“Stop pulling me…” Dara said as she finally broke free from Bom’s hold. She rubbed at her wrist and glared at Bom.

“If you want to leave, just let me know and I’ll make a diversion.” Bom wiggled her eyebrows teasingly then she skips towards the dance floor to join her dongsaengs.

Dara just mumbled that she should probably tell the bartender to lower the alcohol content since six-dimentional Bom is actually drunk now, guess her plan worked.

She did miss her boyfriend though and they probably should leave soon since they both have an early day tomorrow. Jiyong and Dara had decided to finally go see a doctor here in Hong Kong since there might be a bigger chance that the doctor wouldn’t recognize them than going to see one in South Korea.

She was about to open the door of the VIP room when she heard Seungri, “Unlike Jiyong-hyung here, he’s got the date picked out probably before he goes to the military in four years I bet.”

She sighs and leans on the door, probably sooner than that. She instinctively puts her hand on her stomach with the possibility of this little thing that might either be the source of their happiness or misery because as much as they both don’t want to admit it… they aren’t ready to have this yet not while the whole entire time their