Chapter Thirty Five

Seeing through their eyes

August 27, 2015

Dara POV

Dara was lethargic. She was sure of it. She felt that she was floating and out of her body. She was watching everything through a looking glass or even watching everything like a movie.

There are two voices talking, familiar ones… though the thing is its two voices that she would never think would lay still and have a conversation this long let alone be in the same room together without needing to.

Such a strange dream...

Jiyong POV

“Did you really find her by the elevator?” Jay questioned something that he feared the real answer. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he heard the truth, “Actually don’t answer that.”

Jiyong shakes his head as he looks over at Dara who was peacefully sleeping on the couch. “I did find her there, she wasn’t happy that I found her. She said she was trying to call you… she kept mumbling her keycode but I could only understand 8 and 9.” Jiyong was such a good liar that either Jay bought the whole thing or it was just easier to believe it than imagine another scenario.

Jay sighs as he sits on the couch next to Dara, he brushes the hair off her face. “Thanks for calling me.”

Jiyong leans on the side of the wall as he just watches Jay having some telepathic conversation with Dara. He had to look away because he felt like he was invading their bubble. He clenched his teeth with jealousy, and he wondered what Jay was thinking at the moment. This situation never happened to them before, Dara had never gotten drunk enough that Jay had to call Jiyong to pick up his girlfriend but then again Jay lived on the other side of the city.

Jiyong sighs and spoke something that he should have kept inside. “Listen, to seem fair or if ever it is.” Jiyong started. He noticed Jay nod making him continue, “Since you’ve warned me before then might as well do the same.” He starts since he remembered the time when Jay had told him that if he wasn’t giving up on Dara. (a/n chapter 15)

Jay laughed humorlessly, “I don’t know if that is a good thing or not.”

Jiyong sighs, “Though, ultimately it’s her choice.”

“Well, whatever she decides I guess we can only wish for her happiness in the end.” Jay responded in a sad tone.

Jiyong nods in agreeance. “But for now, I’ll step back.” Jiyong said in defeat.

Jay smirked, “Why do you think I can’t take you on?” Jay seemed offended by Jiyong’s statement as if JIyong would always win without trying.

This time it was Jiyong’s turn to laugh out a fake and forced one. “If we are being honest right now, out of all of Dara’s guy friends. You were the one that I always felt threatened by.” Which was always true…

Jay this rather interesting. He didn’t know how to react to this though.  “And what do you want me to do with this confession?”

“I don’t know, seems like I’m in the mood for a heart to heart.” Jiyong mumbled incoherently.

“Well if that’s the case, know that you aren’t anything close to my type.” Jay replied in the same sarcastic tone trying to lighten the awkward air around them

Ever since they’ve officially met each other about ten years ago there is always this wordless hostility between them. They try to be civil but the best choice was to avoid each other and would only be in the same room if necessary. This is actually the most interaction they’ve had with each other that’s close together.

Though, sad thing is. These two would have been great friends if it weren’t for the fact that they have been in love with the same girl for more than a decade now. Only difference is Jay had known his true feelings for Dara a lot earlier than Jiyong.

Jiyong on the other hand was just confused as to why he was overprotective of his noona… even Youngbae had questioned his attitude with Dara’s guy friends or if she has any. That is when he finally realized that he was jealous of them… He was falling in love with Sandara Park and the thing was it wasn’t only him but the leader of 2PM, Jay Park. At that time though Jiyong couldn’t do anything because of two things:

First thing he had just broken up with Sohee, so Dara wouldn’t believe him to be sincere then and finally, he also assumed that Jay would have made the move. It’s not like Jiyong feels that he doesn’t stand a chance but Dara also is blind to people’s feelings towards her or even to her own feelings.

Besides Dara was too focused on her recent debut to think about anything else.

Jiyong touches the back of his neck and voices out his truth. He had been honest all day today, might as well remain consistent. “I actually believe that if you didn’t leave Korea, this situation would have been reversed.” (a/n chapter 30). Jiyong totally accepts this fact. Dara unbeknownst to herself had feelings for Jay before she even thought of Jiyong in a different light. He could see how broken up she was when Jay had to leave Korea. Someone who just sees a person as a friend wouldn’t be crying that much when she’s alone or be depressed when no one is looking. It was when he had decided that he should just confess to take the pain away…

Which he did but then she avoided him for the longest time… well that’s another story would be for another day.

Jay rose from the couch and turned towards Jiyong. He shakes his head as he let out a huff of breath. Of course he knew this as well. That is why sometimes he wished that stupid scandal never got released. “Difference is, Dara and I would have never broken up.”

“Probably,” Jiyong grumbles to himself bitterly. No one can really tell though, fame changes people. Or maybe it was just him.

“I appreciate your honesty but don’t back out on my account. I can hold my ground.” Jay said firmly.

Jiyong rolls his eyes, now all civility that they had shared the past fifteen minutes had officially gone out the window but he still wanted to be mature about it. “Trust me, I’m not doing it for your sake.” He bit out.

Jiyong had decided that he should back off not for anyone else’s sake but Dara’s. He was being stupid and selfish to even ask for her friendship under false pretenses. He only thought of himself and not thinking about how his recent actions affected her. She was already happy with Jay yet here he comes waltzing in, confusing her.

He knows one thing is for certain, Dara would never admit to her true happiness, be it with him or Jay because she’ afraid with the consequences when she chose her career over him. She thought it was some sort of karma, so she’ll stay in her relationship. Not because it’s for the right reasons but she’s afraid of going for what she really and truly wants.

So he’s backing out because he doesn’t want to hurt her anymore…

“Whatever your reasoning is, I just want to tell you this choice isn’t going to make me happy. I’d rather you continue what you’re planning to do so then I’d know—.“ he stopped abruptly refusing to finish the end of that sentence and he turns back to watch Dara sleep peacefully on Jiyong’s couch.

Jiyong knows the end to that sentence. That I’m actually her choice…

This is actually the first time he’s seen Jay’s confidence waver, even when Dara and Jiyong were still dating he was still patiently waiting for Jiyong to mess up or to that assumption and even after that he still waited for Dara for another year until she was ready to date again. In a way he had always thought of Jay as a formidable opponent.

Even in the music industry, they were both quite notable leaders (despite Jay’s scandal, even until now 2PM doesn’t have a leader), amazing producer, composer and performer. Lastly a powerful influential rapper.

Though, fortunately it’s always circumstances that Jiyong would win over… Jiyong stayed in a well-funded company. Jiyong was around Dara a lot more times than Jay to make it easier for Jiyong to have Dara develop her feelings for him subconsciously.

Jay and Jiyong had a wordless conversation. It was clear through that no matter what Dara chooses they’ll just respect her wishes to be happy.

It’s always for her,

With that Jay nods and then kneels on the floor in front of the couch. He brushes the hair off her face and leans to whisper something in her ear…

Dara POV

Dara felt that she was carried that she slowly woke up from her very odd dream… “What?” she grumbled. She tucks her head onto his chest. She breathed in a familiar scent of deep like that distant smell of the first day of rain when you know that rain is going to cool you down and bring you comfort. She’s always loved that smell on him, it makes her want to hold on to him because she knows he is her comfort and her solid ground. Tothat she already knows who is carrying her.

“Shh… just go back to sleep babe.” Jay’s soft voice was so hypnotizing that she could have slept too but how could she when her heavy heart with guilt… How can she hurt the person who has done nothing but love her.

She felt the soft pillow on and the comfort of her soft bed. She felt the covers on her since her boyfriend just tucked in her to make succumb to sleep faster. She felt a soft kiss on her forehead, “Good night babe…”

Jay was about to get up from the bed but Dara reached for him, “Dara?”

“Stay, don’t leave me.” She begged as she wrapped her arm around his waist when he sat back down. She wasn’t sure what she meant when she asked him to say was it for the long term or the night? But she definitely didn’t want to be alone.

Jay sighs as he crawls into bed with her and he puts an arm around her making her to lay on his chest. He holds her tightly and kisses the top of her head. “Until you want me to… otherwise I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers into his hair with such conviction that he just felt Dara stifling a sob in his arms.

“Thank you…” and she couldn’t say anything else anymore because tears had started to fall from her eyes. She cursed at herself because her tears wouldn’t stop. She certainly doesn’t deserve him at all. She should just crawl into a hole and stay there forever… possibly alone.

Yes indeed alone… she can’t have anyone. She’d just end up hurting them.

Yes she should find a cave… “I’m sorry.” She said in between sobs she couldn’t help it at all especially that she’s still quite not sober.

He just sighs and just caressed her back comfortingly, “Just go to sleep, Dara. It’s alright. Just go to sleep please…” He felt helpless as well. As much as he wants to ask why she was crying he couldn’t because he was afraid of the answer.

But she wasn’t able to sleep at all, she just cried until there was no tears that had left, that she just did tearless sobs. She was angry at herself because