Chapter Twelve

The Change

Dara POV

2011

It started when everyone started noticing that Jiyong had been drastically losing weight.

People would ask her about it, and all she could answer is the stress of the upcoming album of Bigbang is causing him to be like that but when in reality she doesn't know either. These past few weeks her boyfriend who she loves more than anything in the world has become a stranger and she didn't want admit it out loud.

It's not like she had stopped trying but it seemed like both haven't a chance to catch each other on the phone or texts. Either she'd be too busy with 2NE1 promotions or her CFs left and right or he'd be busy with preparations with Bigbang's concert and upcoming comeback. The last time the couple had actually spent time together was the week he came back from Las Vegas for Bigbang's Tonight MV but after that the time spent between the two got lessened and lessened.

She knew that he has been in too much pressure with this new album since Bigbang hasn't made a comeback in more than 2 years. The group has also been preparing for their World Tour If the finances are getting settled. Bigbang has slowly gotten enough fans around the world.

Sure, they'd see each other at the studio. They'd have their usual lunch if they could. Dara and Jiyong would sit there not saying much only thinking that just being with each other was enough for Dara but eventually the silence had been too much to handle that Dara would rather just avoid him, it was around May when it seemed like it had gotten worse. For two months she endured the silence, even their date nights would just be Jiyong mostly sitting there tired from all the promotions they just did and would just sleep or worse forget they’d have plans even.

Dara usually waits for Jiyong to open up to her because he has the tendency to bottle everything in until it gets too much and pressuring him into saying something he isn't ready for well that makes him push people away no matter how much he loves them and cares for them.

So the hours turned into days and the days turned into a week. A whole week, she hasn't seen or heard from Jiyong. It broke her heart. He was busy with Bigbang concerts in Japan for their Love and Hope concert for eight days.

There was a time that she was thinking that she should just break up with him but the thought of not having him in her life broke her more so she decided to wait it out until Jiyong realizes what is wrong with him… She had told him once that she’ll be there through the good time and the bad. This time is definitely not one of the best but she can't understand why since he doesn’t talk.

May 19, 2011

On the last night of BIGBANG’s Love and Hope*(a/n) concert she had cried herself to sleep the second night in a row wondering what is going on with her and Jiyong.  Jiyong had always said he didn’t know what he would do if she would leave him, but thinking about it now… she doesn’t know what she would do if he decides to break up with her. She was just waiting for that day to happen because she isn’t brave enough to do it. She loves him too much.

And she’s been a friend of Jiyong for years too that she knows, Jiyong’s tendency to distance himself with someone he slowly losing feelings for. Maybe that is what is going on here…

And maybe he should just finish her misery. She’d think miserably

It was about three am when her phone started to ring. She was half asleep when she answered it. She didn’t even realize that she had done it when a blast of music was heard on the other line.

She pushed the phone away from her ear, she was definitely awake now. She then saw that it was Jiyong that had called her. “Yeboseyo?” She said slowly, terrified that if she’d move she might wake up from this dream. Her boyfriend actually called her first, though she is quite anxious that he is calling from a club it seems like. Well it’s obvious it’s an after party.

There was rustling on the other line until the noise was muffled and only the sound of the music in the background seemed like it was far away, “Jagiya!” Jiyong declared excitedly on the other line. He probably found an empty room or something, but his voice echoing meant that he is in the bathroom.

She sighed, “You’re drunk.” She stated. This isn’t the first either. When Jiyong attends parties and Dara cannot attend. He ends up being far too intoxicated that she is always his drunk phone call, someone has to grab his phone from him so no one would know who is talking to. So if he found a room that meant he escaped from everyone else to call her.

He was making shh noises as if telling her she was too loud or trying to prove her wrong when it is obvious he had more than he can handle. “I miss you.” He whispered.

She bit her lip trying to stop herself from reacting or saying anything because she is sure she might start crying. Jiyong can’t do much about her tears now since he is far away.

“You probably don’t believe me, because I have been such a jerk.” He grumbled angrily to himself. There was a thud and it was clear that he had hit a door.

She just kept quiet not knowing what to say, her heart clenched as he heard his remorse voice. People say that when your mind is clouded by alcohol, it’s the heart that is talking now since there is no filter from the ever protective brain. So at least she is still in his heart.

“I really don’t know what is going on with me… But I just feel…” He groans probably not ready to talk yet.

“Jiyong, it’s okay. You don’t need to explain yourself. Just talk to me when you are ready.” She said weakly not finding the strength in her to be comforting for him.

“I am sorry for being an . When you stopped talking to I had been trying to figure out how to fix it, but then being in Japan and I’ve been overly exhausted from all these concerts after the other. I may not know what is exactly wrong with me but I know one thing. I love you Park Sandara with all my heart. Please don’t leave me.” he begged it also sounded like he was about to have tears fall from his eyes.

Dara hugged Tam-Tam and she sat up, she held a sob and nods. “Of course, baby. I won’t leave you.”

They were quiet for a while just listening to each other breath. It was a comfortable silence, it made her smile a bit and got her slowly drifting to sleep, until he spoke up. “I twisted my ankle a couple days ago.”

She sighed, “I heard.” She replied since she only heard the news from Bom who had read it on a fan accounts. She had to pretend that she knew about it so that it wouldn’t rise suspicion from the girls that they have been having issues. As a performer, injuries like that is just an obstacle that one needs to prevail. “How is it now?”

“Its fine I think… It doesn’t hurt as bad.” Jiyong said there was a slight hint at his voice that seemed amusing him.

Dara smiled, “Alcohol?”

He laughed, “Seemed to numb the pain. Going to see the doctor tomorrow.”

“Where are they boys anyway?” she asked thinking that anytime they would try and find him since he has been talking to her for quite a bit than most of them let him in his drunken state.

“I don’t know. Youngbae is out there dancing his heart out saying he isn’t drunk when he clearly is. Daesung is asleep on one of the VIP chairs we are at, I think Seunghyun-hyung drank him off the table. And the Seunghyuns are talking to some model girls they just met tonight.”

Hearing the word model, her heart got heavy with jealousy. She wondered if Kiko was there or if he saw Kiko any this week. The question burned in her tongue and she was afraid to ask not wanting to hear the answer. She doesn’t know how to react if she found out that Kiko was there and with her boyfriend is drunk. And it might cause some tension between them that they had already fixed if she said something. She didn’t want him to think she didn’t trust him. “Ah,” she said.

“Kiko’s not here. She’s in the US” He randomly said having a strong feeling that his girlfriend was curious about it. When he usually goes out she always hints out a question if Kiko is there, so it was a normal thing for him to say if his friend is there besides he always calls her when he is about to hang out with Kiko anyways to see if Dara is okay with it.

“Oh,” She tried to hide her delight, she found it weird that she was relieved.

“I want a cigarette….” He grumbled stubbornly changing the topic immediately.

Dara rolls her eyes and smirks. She is well aware of her boyfriend’s vices. He tries his best to avoid smoking around her though and she is thankful. But when alcohol is involved he usually asks permission if he could, “Go find Seunghyun, I am sure he has one.”

He scoffed, “Too busy chatting up someone or making sure Seungri wouldn’t do anything stupid.”

“Oh.” She had forgotten what Jiyong had said to him already.

Then the next thin she knew he cursed out and then apologized in one sentence in Japanese. She guessed that when he sat inside the stalls he had forgotten to lock the door. She can barely understand Japanese but from what she can catch, the guy recognized him immediately and congratulated him for the hard work for the concert.

She can hear the struggle of Jiyong replying in Japanese but he couldn’t hide the excitement in his voice. He is always delighted to meet male fans since they are the minority in their fandom. The fan and Jiyong spoke a bit more that Dara can’t understand anymore, then she heard him say thank you.

“A guy fan,” Jiyong said happily.

She grinned, “Well of course. You went in the Men’s Room, so you’d meet them there.”

He groaned, “I wondered if I did… that’s why I hid here if I didn’t.”

She laughed a legit one, a first real laugh she had in a week. She can imagine Jiyong’s adorable confused face that he does when he’s