Chapter Sixteen

When I dream…

Dara POV

July 05, 2015

Dara was about to go to sleep but she decided to check her private Instagram account since she hasn’t logged in on it for a couple of days and that’s usually how she gets updates from Chaerin about her album progress lately because she has been too busy to update her unnies.

But what she saw made her almost drop her phone to her face, good thing she moved away quickly it hit her pillow instead. She didn’t need to look again to check if she had seen the right thing. Moments like this where she wonders why she still hasn’t unfollowed him. There was more than enough times when she wondered why, she thought it was petty if she did. Though, what did it matter she was deliberately avoided him in real life… social media should be easier.

Secretly, she knew why she kept him… It was a way for her to stay updated with his life when she refused to talk to him. They were fine the first couple months after that break up but when he did the Dear Kiko ice bucket challenge on his private Instagram that they had become this awkward. It was mostly her fault anyway. There was still this tiny hope that they get back together, they did they last time but with him actually pursuing Kiko. She lost hope all together and she decided to just avoid him to keep that hope from blossoming just a little bit.

Her phone went off and she had gotten a text message. Her heart clenched with guilt when she saw it was a text from Jay. Leave it to this guy who always seem to know when she’s thinking about someone else, not that this happened frequently. She was living in her happy bubble with Jay the past eight months until a week ago when he had initiated the first conversation with her in almost a year, the one when she’d rather climb up the stairs then endure an elevator ride with him. Sure they talked but usually in the crowd. These couple days had been the most they talked to ever.

She was afraid to read into what Jiyong is trying to do, with If You playing too much on the radio it’s like he’s talking to her there. And now this post on Instagram.

Really Jiyong… what is in that thick skull of yours?

Her phone goes off again, and with that she had forget Jay in a matter of seconds. She is such a bad girlfriend… She grabs her phone only to see that it wasn’t only Jay that had texted her but Bommie as well.

Jay’s text was ~I got home all right. Have a good night and sweet dreams, princess..

Then Bommie’s, ~I miss you! I haven’t spoken to you in a couple days, shoot me a text if you’re awake!

It was midnight already, and it was obvious that Bom’s text was because of Jiyong’s post. She has no plans of talking about it so she just ignored both texts deciding to fall asleep. She felt too guilty to reply to Jay and she was too irritated at herself to even talk about Jiyong to Bom which will fuel her guilt more.

She was in a dilemma. She hoped to find peace in her sleep which she was thankful that she had fallen asleep rather quickly…

But what she didn’t get was peace in her sleep… she was dreaming of memories of Jiyong. It was playing in her dream like a high quality movie. She wasn’t even dreaming of any specific memory but it was random memories…

August 18, 2011

She loved being alone today. A first holiday being alone.

Is his birthday considered a holiday? She asked herself. She never really technically spent a birthday with Jiyong since they were in a relationship so this should be easy. But why is this Soju tasting so much better than it should and why is getting drunk alone sounds incredible? Well she’s drunk now, so she’s feeling pretty…

“Queasy,” She grumbled to herself as the alcohol was slowly and surely getting to her. She usually can’t handle her liquor as much as she could but she tries sometimes and boy does she try.

She wasn’t supposed to be alone today, Bom offered to stay with her instead of be with her family but Dara told Bom that it was Dara was fine. She didn’t know how she was able to convince Bom but she did. Minzy had to go home for her parent’s wedding anniversary weekend. Then there’s Chaerin…

Chaerin is at Jiyong’s birthday party. She and Chaerin were invited as to they were the only girls of 2NE1 left in town. Chaerin wasn’t going to go but since there was press that’s going to be there a representative from 2NE1 needed to at least to be present for their label mate’s birthday. And besides there was no way in hell Dara was attending that party.

“Nope! I am not going to torment myself to going especially if she’s there too.” She talked the empty glass she just chugged not two seconds ago. Chaerin texted her that she was going to come back to the hostel because Kiko is there, Dara told Chaerin to go ahead and have fun she wasn’t at the hostel anyway. She was at a house that she had bought for real estate purposes. Only Jiyong actually knows that she bought this house not three months ago in YG family and Jay since he had forced the guy to help her buy furniture a week ago, who was complaining as to why he was the one stuck doing this girly job when she has a boyfriend… she neglected to inform him about the break up.

So she’s alone, “Yep, all alone…..” she sang dramatically at her glass pretending it was a mic as she started hiccupping and laughing at the same time.

Not that Jiyong and her were awkward at all, well sort of but not really as bad as someone who had just broken up. She thinks it isn’t awkward but the girls  do, which she thinks they are delusional. It’s not like she’s begrudging Jiyong to start dating again, why heck it took him not a week after he broke up that actress girlfriend of his when he dated Sohee…so she shouldn’t be any different.

“I mean we only dated for almost two years.” She tells herself sarcastically as if it was a normal ordeal that she was responding to her own thoughts. She scratches her head knowing that she’s probably gone insane and should see a doctor pretty soon. Though, she keeps getting reasurance from Jiyong that he and Kiko are only friends, as if he had any reason explaining to her his future relations. Which she doesn’t really understand.

She scoffs, “Well, if he’s partying with friends… I should call mine too!” She mumbles incoherently and rather with much high enthusiasm as she grabs her phone from her back pocket and dials the first person that comes to mind. Obviously she can always count on this person to answer her call and possibly hang out with her…

And within in the first two rings there was an answer, “Chingu-yah!” (Friend) she yelled on the mouth piece in a high shrill tone…

There was a rustle on the other line obviously the loud noise probably startled her friend it was midnight already. “What the hell?” (a/n english) The person on the other line sounded irritated for being woken up this late and the fact that his ear drum probably just popped.

But she didn’t notice this at all because she started going into a spurt of giggles. “You should come out and play, Jaebeom” she was laughing still.

“You’re drunk.” He simply stated, he actually groaned.

“You’ll never know unless you come out and playyyyyyyy……” she elongated the word just because it sounded fun.

“Nope. I have no plans on crashing a party I wasn’t invited to in the first place. Though tell Jiyong though happy birthday for me. I’m sure his night would be wonderful with or without my presence.” His voice was muffled as if he was talking under a pillow. He sounded bitter and annoyed. Jiyong and Jay never gets along at all, no matter how she tries. When the boys would be in the same room there is this strange aura that means they shouldn’t be at least a yard away from each other. The last time the boys were actually in the same event was her birthday last year. And man talk about awkward…

Dara frowned. She obviously couldn’t tell Jiyong happy birthday until tomorrow or the day after. She is already sure she’ll be nursing a terrible hang over in the morning so she won’t be going anywhere tomorrow. “Well I’ll be sure to tell him…” she pauses to think about it, “The day after tomorrow.” She says rather lightly and she nods deciding that it’ll be then till she can tell the birthday boy, “Though, it won’t be his birthday anymore. But I’ll sure relay the message.”

There was silence on the other line and then a clear voice, “You can tell him tonight...?” His voice sounded like a question. It seemed like he was doubting something.

“Well, that would be kind of hard.” She grumbled as she was staring at the empty bottle of Soju. She had consumed three already.

“Why? Isn’t it your boyfriend’s birthday party tonight, like right now?”

She giggles. Despite herself she was rather curious how she can produce a legit laughter, “What boyfriend?” then hiccupped. “I mean, it’s not like I’m not enjoying myself… I’m having my own little party if you can tell. Though, almost all my friends are at his party so I’m drinking alone.” She shrugs as she opens another bottle of Suju. There was a popping noise and she spilled it on her table. “Oppsie… now table is drinking with me.” she started giggling.

“Dara, eodiya?” (Where are you?) He asks seriously this time there was a loud thump on the other line and it was obvious that he was getting up to probably leave if needed.

She shakes her head as if he can see, “Don’t worry about me. I am fine. Actually, I take it back. Go back to sleep you probably have a schedule tomorrow. I am just going to finish this half a bottle since my carpet has seeped through most of it. Hopefully my floor doesn’t get drunk.” She says mostly to herself ignoring Jay in the back ground who kept calling at her name to answer his question, “But I might go to bed after….” She has started slurring her words.

“Where the hell are you?” He demanded since he started to get worried about her.

She made an eep noise, she disliked people getting mad at her. “I’m at home.” She whines guility.

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” Jay hung up before she could say anything.

She stares at her phone and scratches her head, “He didn’t need to come here anymore. I told him I was going to bed.”

And as promised, Jay got to her house not twenty minutes later. Though as what she had told Jay was true, she was going to bed so the party was over. She was getting sleepy as the alcohol had gotten to her already. She just let Jay in and said, “Help yourself. Imma go night night.” then she grabs his shirt and places a wet kiss on his cheek really close to his lips. Then stumbles over to the couch and sleeps, with an additional

Jay just stares at her blankly and rubs his the temples with his thumb, “What am I going to do with you…” then he walks over to the drunken girl and covers her with a blanket to prevent her from having chills.

When morning came, Dara’s head pounded like a crazed maniac was waking her head like that arcade game. She had a dream that she had called Jay and acted like a total idiot but what made it worse was she smelt food… so basically it wasn’t a dream. It was real.

She sits up and rubs the bridge of her nose. “Oh god…” she grumbled.

Jay just laughed as he prepares the breakfast bar with food that he just bought. “Yep, It wasn’t a nightmare…  I am the prince of your dreams.”

She coughs out a laugh in sarcasm which was a bad idea because was dry, “Aish...” she complained as she walked towards the breakfast bar with much difficulty. She was sober but the world was still spinning a little that it was some sort of a discomfort. Once she got there she grabbed a bagel and took a huge chuck out of it hoping that the bread would seep through whatever toxins was in her body. She swallowed it with water since it was rather bland and gross.

“Well that bagel was supposed to be for me. I got you this.” he pushed the Haejangguk which is the food that is supposed to chase a hangover. He takes the last bagel so he can eat it. “How are you?” he asks as he takes a sip of his coffee hiding his amusement.

“Oh, great.” She said sarcastically as she started sipping the soup. “What other expectations can I get? I drank a whole bar.” She complained totally regretting what her decisions were last night.

He chuckled, “More like 3 and a half bottles of Sujo but you know. Like anyone’s counting.” He teased. He raised his arms up in apology when she glared and even growled at him but he still have a goofy grin. So he stuffed his mouth with bagel so he wouldn’t continue teasing her.

They were quiet for a few minutes only the sounds of the utensils that Dara used can be heard.

Jay finally spoke up, “So, you and Jiyong broke up?”

Dara sighs and nods. “In Japan, two weeks ago.” She said plainly as if it was an interview. She was afraid to show what she truly felt. She still didn’t know what she does feel… maybe she’s in denial.

“Ah,” He said. He sat next to her instead of standing across the breakfast bar.

Her eyebrows met in confusion and she tilts her head to the side, “Aren’t you going to ask why?” she wondered. A lot of people who has known about the break up always has a follow up question of what happened.

He just stares at her as if he was thinking of his own reason of what had happened. He was having an internal conversation with himself and plus his gaze was making her uncomfortable, she didn’t know what it was. It wasn’t like it was bad or anything but it’s a totally different one.

“Jay?” She gets his attention again.

He shakes his head and clears his throat. “I’m sure you hate that question.” He says calmly, then shrugs. “If you want to tell me you can but you don’t have to.”

She smiles thankful about it. He is right, she does hate talking about it. She even hates mentioning that they had broken up. She sighs and continues to drink her soup quietly.

Then after that, the two started hanging out more frequently. She had seen more of him in the last two months than in the whole year. She mentioned it to Jay and all he answered was that there was Jiyong made such a big deal if they hung out that it was easier to see her without all the fuss.

October 5, 2011

She hops into her car, it was late maybe around 10. She just got back from getting her phone from the repair shop. They offered to fix it for her even though the store closed an hour ago. She was glad though, she was going crazy without her phone for about 12 hours, and especially her phone broke while she had gotten three missed calls from Minzy.

She just came back from the States for a photo shoot with Chaerin so she is still a bit jetlagged. She was upset that she had to deal with her phone being broken on top of that.

As soon as she her phone, she calls Jay. “Yeboseyo?” he responded in the first ring. It sounded like he was sleeping.

“You are such a lazy bum. Why are you sleeping this early?” she said stubbornly.

“Dara,” his voice sounded more awake now and he sounded worried.  “Where are you?” he asked.

She laughs and shakes her head, she ignores his question. She is slightly hyper from all the candy she ate. “Where are you?” she asks instead. “You will never guess what I got you and with that you’ll love me forever I think.”

“Dara—.”

She groans at him, “Answer the question, Park Jaebeom.” She said firmly this time. She was not planning to drive around the block until he replies the correct answer. She needs to get rid of this candy or she’ll end up finishing it all and would cause a lot of trouble.

“Fine. I’m at home.” He grumbles in frustration knowing whatever he will say Dara wouldn’t listen.

She giggles, “Good, I’ll be there in five minutes! Buzz me in!” She says as she finds a parking spot close to Jay’s apartment building.

When Jay opened the door, her face was covered with a bag so she wouldn’t see his facial expression. She knows that he had a