Chapter Thirty Three

Another Song...

Dara POV

August 26, 2015

Dara had been staring at her alcohol for the past thirty minute. She was just trying to ignore at the young couple across her, Minzy and Seungyoon trying their best not to be as affectionate as possible but failing due to the alcohol the group has consumed.

“Unnie, your baby-sitting your drink,” Hyonie said as she had noticed that after Dara had drank a few amount of alcohol she had started to stop drinking and staring blankly into nothingness. “You were the one that forced all of us to go out drinking.”

Dara looks at her dongsaeng knowing it’s the truth, she couldn’t clear her mind most of the recording that she didn’t even go home yet and just hung out in the studio listening to Seungyoon record songs for his future solo after WINNER’s comeback early next year. She then asked the boys to go out and go drinking with Hyonie as well so it wouldn’t just be Dara and Minzy with the WINNER boys. She just smiles at Hyonie, drank from her watered down drink. She was already drunk anyway so it didn’t matter, “Just got distracted.”

Hyonie just nods and rolls her eyes pointing at Minzy and Seungyoon. “If those two could stop it, I wouldn’t be distracted too.”

“Unnie! Dance with me!” Mino grabbed Dara’s arm who had finally came back from dance floor where Jinwoo and Seunghoon are acting like fools.

Dara just laughs and shakes her head, “No, please don’t.” then she points at Hyonie. “I’m sure she’ll dance.”

Hyonie glares at Dara and then smiles at Mino. “Unnie.” She hissed at Dara

Mino smiles shyly, “Come on noona, I don’t bite.”

Hyonie sighs knowing she isn’t got a choice since Dara pushed her towards Mino’s direction. “Fine, if you do I’m going to punch you.”

“How about you two go to the dance floor as well. I’ll be fine here.” Dara said to Minzy and Seungyoon since she was sure that Minzy was just sitting by the table because she didn’t want to leave Dara behind.

Minzy widens her eyes and shakes her head, “We can stay here.”

Dara looks over towards Seungyoon who got the message. Ever since they had worked together closely for three months the young leader of WINNER could always read into Dara well. If she may even be bold to say she is a bit closer to this younger than Mino.

“Just one song, baby.” Seungyoon asked as he grabbed Minzy’s hand softly pulling her away.

Minzy glances over at Dara and then pursed her lips together, “I’ll be back alright?” she had been careful with her unnie all day since the article came out this morning. She was sort of sad that she was the only one here of the 2NE1 girls, she tries her best to be a friend to lean on but sometimes she feels that she isn’t enough and wishes that Bom-unnie and Chaerin-unnie would be close by.

Dara just smirks at Minzy, “Take her away please…” she told Seungyoon who didn’t even hesitate to pull Minzy away finally leaving Dara by herself which is what she truly needed but she just didn’t want to drink alone since it felt seemed desparate when she really doesn’t have a true reason to be drinking.

But just know that this past month of just being able to talk to you. To see you smile and make you laugh has been one of the happiest I’ve been in two years. I put up a good front but I was never truly happy, and I didn’t know that until you let me back into your life even if it’s just your friend. Because I’d take it either way…

Jiyong’s voice echoed in her head… she had no idea why she felt this way to begin with. So what if Jiyong and Kiko had broken up why does it seem like she’s mourning for something. Besides what annoyed her more and made her bring her walls up around Jiyong was when he said all that… what the hell did he mean when he said he’d take it either way.

As if she’d even give him a chance if he tries to make a move.

Liar…

A voice said in her head. She pursed her lips together and tried to fight the tears from leaving her eyes. Of course she knew why she had to stay away from Jiyong all these times and the more alcohol she drinks the more she realizes what that reason is. And she didn’t want to reach to that conclusion because of Jay.

Jay who had been nothing but amazing to her. He had also been patient waiting for her to get over Jiyong. She does have strong feelings for Jay, in fact she does love him too but she isn’t sure if it’s enough to not choose him over Jiyong if Jiyong does want to try again…

This scared her because… Jay doesn’t deserve any of this.

In the back of her mind that thought had crossed her mind when Jiyong had just been trying to be friends with her. So when he said that he was still dating Kiko, she knew that nothing will happen farther than that because Jiyong is the type who never cheats on his girlfriend. They both have been on that boat before to know what it feels like to be cheated on in a relationship.

But when he told her that Kiko and him broke up, she couldn’t help but feel relieved and happy. Then at the same time she felt guilty because that thought made her think of her boyfriend. So she decided right then that she was going to put her walls up just to avoid hurting everyone else…

“Aish…” she cursed under her breath as she finished her watered down drink which unfortunately for her, the alcohol had settled on the bottom and it’s a good two shots worth.

She lays her head on the table and that same second she had fallen asleep… not realizing that her drunken state of mind would bring her to that terrible night. The night she had broken up with Jiyong…

December 3, 2013

It had been two weeks since Dara and Jiyong properly spoke to each other. They had been both too busy with their lives, Jiyong with Bigbang’s Dome tour in Japan that usually goes on for more than three days and Dara with 2NE1’s comeback. It was easy for Dara to avoid Jiyong that way since she he’s rarely in Korea too and when he’s here she’s either shooting for a photoshoot, CF or variety. YGE just announced that 2NE1 will do another world tour so practices are doubled since they have to learn their songs in Japanese as well and with that means modified choreography.

She was just afraid to face Jiyong because when she’s near him she has this urge to stay as far away from him. She didn’t want to do anything rash until she calms down which she had hoped would happen soon but two weeks has  passed and she still has that bitterness towards him that keeps going stronger every day.

Jiyong is currently in Seoul, he has been for two days but most of their shoots end really late that she just stays at the hostel since she would still has an early day after. He has been persistent on today though to meet when it’s clear that she wouldn’t get done with practice till around ten pm today maybe later. The girls also has a couple days break next week and Dara got lucky since she has been the most busy out of all them gets a week break… (she had already planned weeks back since she was going to Japan with Jiyong tomorrow… which she isn’t sure what she’d do now.)

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Chaerin’s voice broke her thoughts as she had been too focused on practice tonight that she hasn’t even realized that was sitting down on the chair for a five minute water break.

Dara looks up only to see Chaerin holding her phone with Jiyong calling her again. Dara takes the phone and rejects the phone call, earning a confused look from Chaerin. “I’ll call him later after practice.” Dara answers her leader’s questioning look. She took a large gulp of water was when she noticed that Chaerin was staring at her as if she was sharing her own inside joke. That’s when Dara can see that the room has only Chaerin and Dara with HITECH.

“Where’s everyone?” Dara double checks and there isn’t a Park Bom or Gong Minzy.

Chaerin rolls her eyes, “I knew you weren’t listening. Practice is over.”

Dara blinks, “What?”

Chaerin grabs Dara by the wrist to make her stand, “You can go and hang out with oppa now.” She seemed more excited that Dara can leave than Dara herself.

Dara just blankly stares at her watch and could tell that it wasn’t supposed to be over just yet, “We still have two hours.”

Chaerin shrugs, “I figured I’ll learn my new dance for my solo song with these guys.” She points at the Kwon twins who nods at Dara. “Seriously, aren’t you going to answer that?” she asks again since Dara’s phone was ringing again.

Dara ignores it, since she had a feeling the reason why practice ended early is because of the person who wouldn’t stop calling her. “Did Jiyong do this?” she wanted an answer for her suspicion.

Chaerin grabs Dara’s bag and loops it on her shoulder, “Bom-unnie left without another word when I asked her if it was alright to end practice early. So did Minzy… so go.”

“Actually, Minzy said she’d be back to help out with your choreography.” Kwon Youngdeuk, one of the HITECH dancers, said

Chaerin turns to look at the older twin brother, with a questioning look. “Where did Minzy-ah go anyway, oppa?”

It was the younger twin, Youngdon who answered with a low and sad voice. “She’s in the practice room next door, she’s listening to a couple songs that Seungyoon wrote.”

His older twin, Youngdeuk just laughed and puts an arm on Youngdon’s shoulder. “Why are you jealous?” He teased as he started shaking his brother vigorously.

Youngdon blushed and shook his head immediately. “Aish, chincharo hyung.” He shoves off his brother’s arm off. Almost everyone knows except Minzy about the young dancer’s crush on 2NE1’s maknae but because of the big age difference Youngdon doesn’t do anything about it.

Chaerin just grins to herself. “Our maknae has been hanging out with Seungyoonie a lot. I suspect a blossoming romance will come soon. It won’t be just you and Jiyong-oppa that’s a couple anymore.”

Dara sighs and rolls her eyes ignoring the statement. If given a chance, Dara would actually tell her maknae that it’s not a good idea but she just shoved that thought in deep in the darkness in her mind, “I’ll just wait for Minzy and practice still.”

Chaerin then looks at Dara again, confused. She resorts to pushing her unnie towards the door. “Just leave already.”

“Anyeong Dara-noona,” Youngdeuk said with a wave as he had his brother’s neck locked under his arm and he was rubbing his knuckles on Youngdon’s head.

Chaerin puts her arm on her waist, glaring at the twins in disappoint trying to hide her smile. “Seriously, oppa. No fooling around.”

That same second Youngdon was able to free himself from his hyung’s hold and tackled him on the ground.

Chaerin just erupted into laugher as she continued to push Dara towards the door. “Just enjoy your trip with oppa. You got a couple days off earlier than us, use it to your advantage.”

She knows that her leader is twice stronger than she is so she doesn’t have a choice but be dragged towards the door. “Chaerin.”

“Bye unnie…” then Chaerin opened the door and closed it on Dara’s annoyed face.

When she got back to her house, the first thing she saw was Jiyong's car parked in the driveway. So she wasn't surprised to see him sitting on the edge of her bed when she entered her room. She didn't give him a slight bit of attention since she was annoyed at him.

He hops off the bed and walks over to her so he could lean to kiss her forehead but she moved away immediately. He hid the fact that he was surprised she avoided him but he just smiled. "Hi," he said enthusiastically.

She grabs some clothes from her drawers so she can change, she slammed them shut before turning towards him. "Practice wasn't done yet Jiyong."

Jiyong grins, "Chaerin said she's gonna do her solo practice."

She sighs and rubs between her eyebrows, "Doesn't mean to use it to your advantage."

His eyebrows met and he just smirked, "Bom noona definitely used it since she left as soon as Chaerin asked if it was alright." He knows Dara always takes these practices seriously but she doesn't usually act like this when a chance is given to spend time with him if they haven’t seen each other or talked to each other like they have been doing these past two weeks. It also doesn’t help that lately anything he says or does is getting on Dara's nerves. It's like he's walking on eggshells with her.

She tried her best to keep the fact that she was annoying him but she was failing miserably. "She wouldn't have left if you didn't suggest it." She spat out bitterly.

He flinched and sighs, "Alright."

But Dara wasn't through, she felt like she was on a roll and she couldn't stop. "I'm sure if the boys would do that, you won't just let it easily happen. Practice is practice."

He lowers his head shamefully. He remembers an incident that he did create a big deal about Seungri leaving early for a personal event but at that time their Alive Tour was only in a week so he was rather on high anxiety due to that but he did over react by punishing the maknae completely by extending practice that Seungri almost missed the party be was supposed to attend. "Yeah, your right. I'm sorry."

But she didn't seem to hear the apology because she kept continuing as if he didn't speak at all, "You can't just use Chaerin like that just because she is quite fond of you--"

"I said alright!" Jiyong unexpectedly snapped, surprising both of them. One thing Jiyong hates is criticism especially when his faults are repeated and he had already accepted his faults.

Dara and Jiyong just stared at each other knowing that they had both hit each other's nerve. "I'm sorry," they said in unison.

Dara sighs and continues, "It's just a long day."  Which is true but she had been snapping at Jiyong for mostly any little thing he says that’s deem sensitive to her. This is the most she's said to him in one sitting for two weeks now. Since either she's miss his calls or texts and she forgets to reply.

That's the thing in being an idol and dating someone in the same area, it's quite easy to neglect someone if one stops trying because of their packed schedules. And with that it's also a step closer to being distant despite not wanting that results.

She heavily drags her feet towards the bed and hugs on the extra clothing she had grabbed. As much as she hates to denies the truth, she's the one that's not trying. She shamefully admits to it now that she misses him when he's not around but when he tries to reach out she wants to run the other direction. This has been going on for days and she thought it would go away but Jiyong trying to push himself not taking the hint that she needs space is causing her to act this way.

She felt the bed dip as Jiyong sits beside her. She still yet refused to look towards his direction.

"So, do you need help packing? Our flight to Japan leaves in four hours." He said cheerfully but there was a crack in his voice that made Dara realize he already knows the answer to this question but denies the truth.

She bites her lip as she fights a tear to fall from her eye, "I'm not going to Japan, Jiyong."

He sighs knowing that sometimes schedule changes no matter how long you ask for a vacation, "Well, that's okay.” He tried to mask his disappointment with a smile. “The concert is three days. You can come anytime you'll have a seat any day you decide to watch."

She raises her head up but her eyes were still directly on her empty suitcase in the corner that she had been trying to fill with clothes since last night but she couldn’t. She is positive he just pretended to not understand what she had said, "Jiyong," she breathed softly as she finally had the nerve to turn to him. She had thought she was crazy at first but she realized that she was just avoiding the inevitable. If she was going to allow this to continue because she was afraid of hurting him, she truly believes that if she wasn't going to do the right thing their relationship would turn destructive