Guilt

Subconscious Love

After a few hours, Jongin found himself in the hospital next to his mother. She was holding his hand kissing it. She was praying he would be alright. His anxiety attacks have only ever been this bad just after the incident at the party.

"Honey! You're awake!" she exclaimed. "What is the last thing you can remember?"

He sat there and thought for a moment. "Freaking out, having my first kiss stole by my enemy, throwing up, and men in white."

"Enemy? Soo saved your life!"

"Kissing me is saving my life?!?! Since when?"

"Since you were dying from anxiety. Mrs. Kim, may I speak to him privately?" the small male asked. She nodded and left the room. She began to talk with Chanyeol in the hall.

An awkward silence rang through the room as Jongin looked up at the ceiling, feeling a certain person's eyes watching him like a hawk.

"What do you want you thief?"

Kyungsoo scoffed. "I saved you. The least you could do is be grateful for me coming over."

"Why should I? Why did you even come over?"

Kyungsoo sighed and paced throughout the tiny room. He kept openeing his mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. He was trying to think of the words. Mentally, he beat himself up for letting Joonmyun's words get to him.

"Will you just say it already?"

The pale boy glared at the other. Standing still in his place, he spoke to him. "I came over to apologize. There, I said it. Happy?" 

A pout formed on his lips as his angry eyes focused on the floor as he paced. Jongin laughed in the background. It was not the normal this-is-so-funny laughter. It was the I-can't-believe-this--feels-bad-for-something-he-did laughter.

"Stop that!" the small one shouted.

"Why did you want to apologize?"

More silence filled the room as the owl began pacing again. The other sighed. He realized the enemy was not going to speak to him easily about this.

 

 

 

 

The hall was extremely empty, except for Mrs. Kim and Chanyeol. Both sat there awkwardly waiting for the two in the room to finish talking. Then finally, the mother broke the quiet atmosphere.

"So, how long have you been friends with my son?"

"I would like to think since his first day of school, but he has always been distant. I think because of the incident with my sister, we became closer."

She nodded. More silence followed. Then she opened again. "I think he has mentioned you before. Your last name is Park, right?" He nodded. "You can come over whenever you want. He said you were really bright. You make him feel better."

The giant smiled really wide and danced a little in his seat. Then a thought came to his mind. "I wonder why Kyungsoo suddenly disappeared from school then showed up at your house. I mean it is good that he came when he did, but like why?"

"Maybe he was worried. They are really close friends."

Chanyeol laughed. "Really close friends? That is the best lie I've ever heard."

"Lie? They really are. Soo even spent the night. He calls him Jonginnie."

More laughter errupted. "They are enemies. I have tried to get them to be friends. It doesn't work. When Jongin still had his cast, he started to trip and accidentally dumped his plate on Soo. The boy turned around trying to stab the other. Jongin tripped him with his hurt leg. If I wasn't there, they would have gotten really injured."

Her eyes went wide. Then she laughed really hard. "They are so cute. Why do they have to be mean to each other? Both boys are absolute angels."

"Kyungsoo is not an angel. He only acts like one."

"No. He is one. He just hides it with anger and devilish things. I can see that much. He guards himself. Was he like that before his mother went into a coma? Is it worse since his so called 'enemy' woke his mother?"

The tall boy sat and thought about what Mrs. Kim just asked. Once he finally processed the words, a light bulb lit up above his head.

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo now sat in the chair next to the cot. Both he and Jongin were occupied with channel surfing on the tiny television. The tension between them was still very much awkward and angry. 

"So um...I was thinking."

"Thinking about what?" Jongin answered.

"Can we start over?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like....um....we hate one another. You hate me because I hate you. I hate you because you stared at me. You may not have even stared. You could have been lost in space...."

"Okay?"

"What I'm saying is we should start over, try to be friends, and forget this meaningless grudge."

"Who got through to you?"

"Joonmyun."

"Figures. He seems like the kind of guy who is good at that."

A shy smile appeared on the other's face. Sure, Jongin's words were attitude filled, but at least, he was not crying or being angry. This felt like a small step into something better. This made Kyungsoo happy. He did not know why it made him feel good inside, but it did.

Push. This has to become a friendship. If Chanyeol and Joonmyun like him, he really can't be that bad. Just stay aware though.

"I have been trying to find a special computer program. It will take every copy of that video down." Except for the copy I have on my flash drive. That is being saved if you try to double cross me.

"You would really do that?" Jongin's eyes were wide with a bit of hope. This meant he and Jaebeom would not have to keep moving schools and feeling bad about themselves. This would mean they will live happier teenage lives.

Kyungsoo nodded. "I'm still looking for the right program though. I might have to pull some strings and ask my cousin. He is a computer hacker for the Korean military." Jongin nodded. A smile grew on his face. The older boy tried not to swoon. "Um....why did you and Jaebeom do ?"

The smile was lost. "Until I feel like I can trust you more, you don't need to know much about that vid. It isn't important. It isn't what you think it is,"

The boy nodded. "I understand. I won't rush you." Both of them watched a random security camera on the front entrance. The tension was still there, but it was not as strong. The anger was gone; now, everything was just awkward. "I'm going to leave. Chanyeol or your mom might wanna come in and talk to you." He waved as he left. "Bye Jongin-ah."

"Bye, Kyungsoo. Thank you for saving me." *Sarcastic tone* Thank you for stealing my first kiss too, dork. Hahaha


Hey guys. Sorry for the late update. I was really busy and my bro had the laptop. 

Sorry if this update . I really hope it doesn't. The chapter name is pretty bad, isn't it? 

So....um.....I will be inactive for three months. This is my last chapter until I get back. I will be going to Marine Corps boot camp. Then I have 10 days back. I don't really know what happens from there. I will be sure to tell y'all when I get back. I hope I won't have to be inactive for too long after boot camp.

Anyway, I love you guys. I will miss you all. I will miss talking to you guys through the comments. I will miss this story. I will miss, Chaeyo, my awesome writing partner. 

Semper fidelis. 

-Wootaec

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KimChaeyo
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Comments

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Kelly_T_Yumi
#1
Chapter 38: Noooooooooo baby Nini, he doesn't do that to piss you off, Soo really has some troubles :(
PLEASE GUYS JUST LOVE EACH OTHER ALREADY ! IT'S GONNA END LIKE THAT ANYWAY !

Taemin. Why. WHY ALWAYS HIM. I swear he has to be kind or else I'll kill him


GOSH I'M SO GOING TO KILL YOU TAEMIN. HURTING MY LITTLE BABY NINI LIKE THIS JUST BY EXISTING HUH.
* I'm so overreacting, this is ridiculous*

Wow, calm your Kyungsoo, Baekhyun didn't do anything eukay. ( I still love you Soo. )

Chanyeol is protecting his little lover :3

Yeah Kyungsoo, you weren't like that before you met Jongin. Love is doing weird things to you baby 8)

Anyway. Stop the drama. My heart is hurting.
Jongin's heart is hurting.
Kyungsoo's heart is hurting.
WE ARE ALL HURTING.



AND I DON'T CARE IF THIS COMMENT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE XD
Kelly_T_Yumi
#2
Chapter 37: OKAY SO DID I MISS SOMETHING ?!
WHY DOES KYUNGSOO GO TO THE THERAPIST ?!

Oh gosh, ing Junmyun, can't you open your eyes for a second and see how much Yixing loves you ?!
Stop being stupid. " The only normal and safe thing " Duh.

Oh right, Kyungsoo's mother. I did forget that. It makes sense now, about how he needs to talk x) Sorry Sorry xD

Oh.
My.
ing.
God.
I'm so going to kill this son of a .
I'M SO ING GOING TO KILL HIM I SWEAR.

Kyungsoo was attracted by his cousin ?

This guy is a real piece of .
exo8090 #3
plzz hurry up and update this is the best fanfic
Kelly_T_Yumi
#4
Chapter 35: Oooooh, Soo's mom :(

Soo can't be pregnant Nini, he didn't have with you for now ;P

OH NO YOU DIDN'T KYUNGSOO !! HOW DARE YOU ! Omg baby Nini :(

Jongin's mom is so cute !
exo8090 #5
which song do you reccommend me to hear while reading this? cuz this fanfic is great!!!
-suki
#6
Chapter 35: Oooh can't wait for Kyungie to learn what happened to Jongin.. I want to know his reaction so bad
Kelly_T_Yumi
#7
Chapter 34: OOOOOH Sarcastic Soo is the best :P

They are so cute at the end of the chapter, like seriously, just kiss already 8D

Glad to see you back :3
MeloveBaozi #8
Chapter 19: Im listening to m83 wait and i almost cried
fluffy6296 #9
Chapter 33: Awesome story! Can't wait to read the next part and good luck! :)
Thanushika #10
Chapter 33: Isn't it cute that kyungie calls him mum 'mommy' omg sooooo cute...baby dont crrryyyyyyy toniiiigghhhtttttttt....I love u