It was late at night when Jaebeom was standing in front of the Kim family's door.

He was trembling all over his body, slowly rising his clenched fist and breathing out with closed eyes before knocking at their neighbor's door.

It took a few seconds, in which Jaebeom calmed himself down and opened his eyes, until it was opened by the not-so-unfamiliar woman whose smiling expression faded into a serious, almost concerned one as she noticed how scared the boy in front of her was.

“Hello, Jaebeom.”, she slowly greeted and somewhere in the mother's mind there was Jongin, screaming to shut the door immediately. She shook the thought of, she shouldn't be so influenced by her son.

“Hello... C-Can I talk with J-jongin?”, the male stuttered, his attention on his own shoes, which seemed to be more interesting than anything else.

Mrs. Kim hesitated but nodded, still feeling unsure, before turning around to shout Jongin's name. She did not know exactly who this Jaebeom was, but somehow his face was not too foreign.

He had visited the same school as Jongin before they had moved, hadn't he? She would surely ask her son later.

“What do you want?”, Jongin spat after closing the door behind his back, making Jaebeom wince and shake his head in fear.

Seeing that face again blew his good mood away. He finally got rid of the damn plaster, could walk almost pain-free and Kyungsoo had already been sleeping when they came home, which meant he didn't annoy Jongin.

But to see Jaebeom destroyed everything. He wanted to punch his face.

Jongin couldn't tell why but in front of Jaebeom, he was the most self-confident person on earth.

“I'm here to explain you everything. There is so much that you did not understand.”

Jongin raised an eyebrow.

“There is nothing to not to understand, jerk.”, he angrily whispered, kicking a small pebble.

“Please give me a chance. I promise you, I won't waste your time. Don't you remember our past, we were the best frie-”

Jongin collared him and pressed Jaebeom against the house wall.

“Shut. The . Up. We were never something like friends. I never had any friends. Not even you.”

Jaebeom closed his eyes, praying not to get punched again.

A few seconds passed in which Jongin had the chance to gain his senses back.

What the hell am I doing here? I'm not any better than the people I hate.

His eyes were wide as he let go of the scared boy.

“I'm so sorry. I... just can't handle all the memories.” While talking, Jongin's voice cracked and he slowly felt the tears coming up. God those emotions can't decide.

Jaebeom patted his lumberjack shirt to straighten the wrinkles, caused by Jongin.

“Do you know a quiet place to talk? There is very much to explain...”

“I saw a playground nearby.”

Around five minutes later after walking in silence, they reached the place.

“It looks so scary at night.”, Jongin suddenly murmured. He did not even know why he said that, it was just a out-spoken thought. But it was true though. The playground could easily be taken as background in a horror-movie. There was an uneasy shadow lying over the place that normally would please little children.

Jaebeom headed quietly to the swings and gestured Jongin to do the same. The tanned boy frowned when he noticed that he was walking through wet grass, but somehow he made it, the ends of his comfy pants soaked wet.

Jongin was slowly swaying back and forth, remembering his childhood and starring at the ink-colored sky with many shining stars. He thought of how many times his mother had taken him to playgrounds like this, but every single time they walked home with Jongin sobbing in his mother's chest.

Jongin wanted the moment to be a little longer, but they had a critical topic to talk about.

“There is so much you did not understand...”, Jaebeom suddenly said, making Jongin wince.

“There is nothing to not understand...”, Jongin spat back, rubbing his hands on his pajama pants.

“Just give me a chance to explain... You don't need to answer. Please just listen to me.”

Jongin gave him his silent approval, not looking at the other but starring at the little carousel.

“That morning...”, Jaebeom dared to break the silence which was coming up again. He felt better, knowing the other was softer than a few minutes ago. He had thought that Jongin would kill him right there, in their front yard.

“You woke up next to me, right?”

Jongin clenched his fist, not answering.

“Well. I bet you saw the... material... of us...”, Jaebeom's voice got lower with every word.

Jongin's leg was bobbing up and down, trying to compensate the huge amount of aggressive energy forming in his body.

He wasn't in the state to answer. His voice would crack.

“I don't know if you watched it completely...”

Jongin did not watch it until the end, after the first few seconds he had started crying.

“...but I watched it, completely.”, Jaebeom's swing squeaked loudly, when he swayed harder than before.

Jongin meanwhile did his best to not make any weird noises, because he was covering his mouth to choke sob resting in his lumped throat.

“I wanted to inform you, we both were in a completely numb state, not acting after our mind, but after those who caused everything.”

Jongin's cheek were wet. He started trembling by the mere thought of his painful past. It was hard for him, and probably more difficult for Jaebeom, since he was the one who was talking.

“But you probably already found that out. I hope you went to a doctor after wards...”

Jongin couldn't answer. He cried silently, hoping that Jaebeom wouldn't see anything in the dark.

His back was bowed and he was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, hands covering half of his face.

Jaebeom didn't know how to structure his talking, so he just threw in random sentences which were flying around in his head. He calmed himself down and started over again.

“Jongin, I know that you were not the most popular person at school, I saw how many times you got bullied by others.”

“Do you have to remind me of my whole past? I know all of that, I thought you want to explain yourself!”, Jongin suddenly yelled. Jaebeom clearly heard that the other was crying hardly.

“Yeah I know. All of this doesn't make any sense at all. But I'm so damn nervous.”

“Jaebeom, I clearly remember that ing night. At least until someone handed me that ing drink.”, Jongin's voice was a rough mess, Jaebeom had troubles to follow him, but stayed silent.

“You don't need to remind me of anything. I just want to know, why the hell did I wake up next to you, my hurting like hell, my head almost exploding and my whole body being on fire?”, Jongin did his best to not stop his talking.

Jaebeom was a little perplexed, it was the first time that he heard Jongin talk so much at once. Then he realized, that he didn't really mention the most important thing.

“We both were on drugs. I received a drink as well. And I did not you.”, Jaebeom bluntly said.

Jongin raised an eyebrow, not really visible since his face was covered with a shadow.

“Do you think we both were the only participants of this... thing? There were about four strangers around us.”

“I know. For God's sake I know that I was by five ing guys. Everyone was talking about it!”, Jongin exhaled. Fortunately he wasn't weeping anymore and could talk like a human again.

“No Jongin. We...”, Jaebeom hesitated a little. “...were by four guys.”

Jongin needed a few seconds to realize what Jaebeom just had said.

“We?”

“You aren't the only victim of them.”

Silence.

Jaebeom isn't one of them. He must be kidding me. That can't be... I never actually asked him. I was just angry at everything. I'm not the only one with problems on this planet. God, Jongin, you ing egoistic bastard.

“You...” Jongin couldn't find the right words.

“Oh my god... This... You aren't joking, right?”

Jaebeom chuckled, not knowing why he actually did that.

“Is this a topic to joke about? I'm dead serious. I wanted to tell you the day, the video went online, but you just left the classroom... and you never came back.”

Jongin regretted being so prejudiced.

“We weren't really friends, but we could talk with each other during school, don't you remember? For me, you were my only friend. But I never saw you again.”, Jaebeom sighed loudly.

“I forgot about you, about two years passed, I heard from the teachers, you changed your school many times. Even after that long period, the bullying wouldn't stop. I don't know if you ever thought about it. But you and your fate. You aren't alone. Everything you were going through, was almost exactly what I was experiencing as well.”

There was a long period of silence. Jongin's thoughts and feelings were only a chaos. He couldn't think straight anymore.

After Jaebeom's long explanation, Jongin felt like and he thought that he had to tell him his story as well.

“You already know... I never really had friends. I was always the bullied, stupid, gay kid. Well... I received an invitation. My first invitation ever. I was so happy, of course I went to the party. My first party. It scared me though. Everyone there was drunk, high and I only had coke. Nothing else. That stranger arrived, I guess he once almost drowned me in the toilet, and handed me a drink and told me, it wasn't alcohol for sure. I was so stupid and... I drank it without any thoughts.”

Jaebeom listened silently. He felt relieved that Jongin was opening up towards him.

“Well the only thing I remember is what I've already said. I woke up, , in pain, next to you. The first thing I did was finding my cloth and running away. In that moment I learned to never trust anybody. I wanted to take a bus or call my mother, but my old-fashioned phone, I really don't know why, was stolen and my money was gone as well.”

Jongin did not have the energy to feel any emotion at that moment.

“I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry that I just ran away. The thing I saw seemed so clear and I thought you... you know. I was scared. I am still scared. I just wanted to leave everything behind. I really couldn't stand the reproaches. I was always known as the gay-kid, just because I like... dancing. That's so stupid. They always told me to find something manly like football. But after that party, the people stared at me, calling me , , asking me if I would their . The video went viral, I didn't have the guts to watch it. I just changed school. But somehow, at every school my little, ing, life-destroying secret came up again and everyone pointed at me, laughing and hating.”

Jongin breathed loudly out.

“I never spoke so much in my entire life.”, he finally said.

Jaebeom was looking at the other, wondering why all of this had to happen.

Jongin probably had experienced worse than him. He had been bullied his whole life. Jaebeom hoped that they somehow could become friends.

“We should go home now, don't forget that we have school tomorrow.", Jongin slowly said after a minute of silence, grateful that the other didn't comment anything.

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Thanks Wootaec xD!

While you guys are reading this, I'm on my way in a caravan, no internet, nothing. My parents are dragging me with them to vacation.....

This chapter and my next (the 29. Chapter) are pre-written and my lovely partner will set them online.

I will do my best to find wifi and reply to your comments, if there are any, if not, I'm sorry.

This chapter is pure JongJae/Jaengin/JongBeom talking, explaining their past. 

I'm sorry for mistakes I'm a little stressed.

XO Chaeyo ♥