Jongin's eyes were wide. She was awake? Or am I dreaming again?

Baekhyun suddenly was standing next to the feared boy.

“Ehm... Is everything alright?”, he wanted to know sightly confused.

The pale lady wasn't in the room anymore, left the injured boy back with a mess in his head.

Jongin could definitely not believe what just had happened. That woman was supposed to sleep. To be in a deep coma. It was almost impossible for her to wake up.

Baekhyun tapped his shoulder and made him wince.

“Yes...”, Jongin breathed and saw how his therapeutic prepared the next practice for his legs.

“Jongin... You are trembling...”, Baekhyun whispered concerned. The told boy winced again.

“Am I? I am not.”, he quickly sad and did his best to calm his heart down, which was beating in an unhealthy tempo.

“You sure you are oka-?”, Baekhyun asked again.

“Could you please stop asking?”

It was absolutely not Jongin-like to cut people off but today he was just too confused to do anything like usually.

That ing woman had to be sleeping? How is that possible?

The therapeutic walked by and brought Jongin to the next exercise. Even though everything was hurting like , Jongin was not allowed to sit down for even once.

The plasters weren't taken off yet but he had to rebuild his weakened muscles if he wanted to get better. If he wanted to leave the place he hated the most.

Luhan and Tao didn't pay much attention to them. They were arguing about who had the better looks again.

“Are you ready?”, the handsome therapeutic asked softly and waited for the boy's nod.

Jongin was standing between two horizontal-built rods and had to lift his injured leg as high as possible.

“You are really good.”, the man encouraged him.

I . And you know it better than I do, .

Yes, there was no reason to hate the man who was just nice to him but Jongin unliked anyone who touched him for longer than five seconds.

This man was standing so close to him it could nearly be interpreted as hugging.

Jongin forced himself to go on, ignoring that his leg felt like it was smashed by a wrecking ball.

Together with some encouraging words from Tao – interrupted from Luhan who had to prove that he could cheer Jongin up better – it somehow seemed to work.

After about ten minutes the torture was over. The man, who still was beloved by Luhan, Tao and Baekhyun, praised him all the time, making Jongin angrier and angrier.

The boys had to say goodbye and excused themselves for different reasons. Jongin didn't really care.

The therapeutic asked him if he wanted to go back to his room but Jongin refused.

“I want to sit here for a while.”, he simply said with more self-confidence than expected. The man stared at him but didn't comment it.

“Don't overuse your legs.”, he advised.

“I won't.”, Jongin replied and waited for the man's leave.

As soon as he was alone, he stood up to leave the comfy bench. Or at least he tried to.

Without help it was a big lot harder to even stand on those damn hurting legs. There was only thing he really wanted to do now.

Damn I want to dance again.

He almost started crying as he couldn't manage to stand up. He dropped his head and wanted to sob but he remembered something.

There were people who couldn't even blink without help.

There were people who wished nothing but to die because of their suffer.

Stop being selfish, idiot.

He let out a painful sigh and stared at himself. On the other wall, in front of him, there was a big mirror reaching from top to bottom and reflected his unworthy appearance.

Jongin didn't let one of his features unnoticed. His ugly, fat nose. Those ugly, fat lips. That unsteady and too sharp jaw line. His unproportional torso. Those sloppy arms and fat legs.

How he hated his body.

This body which had caused a death. The death of his own father.

The feeling of guilt came up. He just wanted to cry but he couldn't. It was a weird feeling. Jongin's head and stomach were hurting as he lost himself more and more in bad thoughts.

Why was he thinking that way again? He couldn't figure it out.

Everything was too much for him to handle. Even though there was exactly nothing to worry about at the moment.

Suddenly a female voice teared him out of his self-blaming.

“Who did you allow to stay here alone?”

It took a few seconds until Jongin lifted his head and registered what the woman with the white coat wanted to know

“My therapeutic...”, he whispered quitto prevent loud voice-crackings.

The woman shook her head and helped him up.

“No. Not allowed without any assistance.”, she simply said with a dark and furious voice.

Jongin shut his eyes and bit his tongue to gulp his pain down.

“I see...”, he breathed out and pointed at his wheelchair in the corner.

“You really can't walk?”, the woman asked with a are-you-kidding-me voice.

Jongin's leg felt like it would fall off every second.

After a short head-shaking he pressed his not-injured hand tightly on his chest as his lungs started to burn like hell.

Too much exertion. For one day.

After a few phrases like 'Why the hell am I a ing nurse'

or 'What the did my past-self do wrong in my previous life'

or 'How did I deserve this',

he finally was sitting in his wheelchair, holding his crutches between his legs.

He was driven back to his room and helped (not without angry grumbles) to get in his bed.

The first thing he did, after the nurse left, was taking out his little notebook, together with a pen, which was hidden under his pillow.

29.03.2012 – Hello?

Ehm... Hi Noddy! It's been a while since I've talked to you for the first time.

I normally don't know what to say. I mean.... My life is really not interesting.

Today that therapeutic made some physio therapy with me.

DAMN. Everything hurts. Even writing makes is suffering.

Tao, Luhan and Baekhyun were there as well... They were acting like little girls. Seriously... they were fangirling over that therapeutic . I just want to facepalm, but my arm hurts.

I mean.. that man touched me all the ing time. He was almost hugging me. That was just disgusting. I HATE body contact more than anything.

And then, that ing rude nurse. She was acting like I was the devil on earth. Like it was my fault. Damn truck.

You know what's weird? I'm becoming so … sad again. I thought I could be happy. I mean... my new friends are actually really nice.

Although Tao and Luhan are annoying sometimes... Oh! I forgot to tell you, Luhan visited me today.

But I feel so unworthy. I mean... everyone who has ever had contact with me, regretted it.

And actually I don't feel any recovery in my body.

The doctors said they'd let me free in a few days. But that does not mean I will be okay then. The ing plasters will stay and I will have to go to physio therapy for about four months.

And don't forget that I have to visit the doctor every damn week because of my lungs.

What I actually wanted to tell you.

You remember the devil Kyungsoo, right? And I've told you that his mother is in coma.

Today I had enough courage to visit her and talk to her. I don't even know why the I did that.

The super odd thing happened in that damn physio therapy lesson thingy (I don't know how to call it).

Kyungsoo's mother came in and thanked me. Then she left. I was just like “WHAT THE !”.

I can't understand how that happened.

Well. I guess that's everything I had to tell.

Thx for listening, Noddy.

(Omg yes that name is awful I'm sorry for you but I won't change it since I'm too tired)

Jongin closed the little book and shook his head. He leaned back and eyed the clock.

It wasn't even evening yet but Jongin still felt so unbelievable tired. So without him realizing it... he fell asleep.

And so he did not notice the furious Kyungsoo standing in the door frame ready to kill him.

He did not hear him mumbling (or better spitting) an hate-filled sentence.

“How did you dare to touch my mother?”

___________________________________________________________________________

Hello!

It was actually really hard to write this, I really dunno why it took me so long xD. I'm sorry, it's probably one of my worst chapters.

I tried to make everything a lil more strucutre through some paragraphs. 

I did not re-read it and I already know, there are many mistakes. Sometimes I just forget words and the meaning is completely messed up.

I'm talking too much, I know.

Thank you for reading anyways.

Chaeyo ♥