07.04.2012 – Happy..?

Wuzzup Noddy?

Today was a crazy day for me, you know...

For the first time since like forever... I feel accepted. Those guys are so nice to me. I didn't do anything helpful at all, but still they visited me.

They called me a 'hero' and I just wanted to cry. But not cry as usual, no. I wanted to cry caused of happiness!

Those guys are so kind. I didn't introduce them to you, did I?

Well there is that one guy, I saw at lunch on my first day here in Seoul. Minseok. He looks like a baozi though.

Then there is that giant, chinese boy who is always kinda annoyed. I hope I won't get in trouble with him. I kinda fear him. His name is Yifan. Somehow is a mix of Sehun and Luhan.... oh no scratch Luhan. Luhan is too cheerful to be compared to Yifan.

And there is Joonmyun. He is so mature. I don't know to handle him. But I... smiled at him. I smiled at all of them. And it was none of my fake-smiles to hide my tears. There weren't even tears at all!

I'm so wondered how all that positiveness happened, especially because it happened at my most hated place … the hospital, but it feels good. I hope it will last as long as possible.

Talking about happiness... the opposite of it – DevilSoo – almost kissed me!

That Sehun-Chinese-Giant pushed Kyungsoo's head forward, but he fortunately managed to put a hand between our faced... but I kissed that disgusting hand. I wanna cut my tongue off... ugh.

Well I kinda filled two pages, sorry for that and thank you for listening to my boring stories.

I'm gonna stand up now. I wasted too much time laying in bed though.

Jongin closed the notebook and he didn't want to admit how much fun it was to write his thoughts down. It still was weird how he was talking to a damn piece of processed wood.

He pushed himself up, not feeling that much pain anymore, and let his legs slowly dangle down on the side of his bed. 

Since he didn't need a wheelchair anymore, he grabbed the crutches and slowly slipped into his shoes.  Jongin was so damn proud of himself, he didn't need any help to get up, even though it was kinda hard to hold the crutches when one arm and one leg still were broken. But the healing process did go on.

At least it was not painful anymore to laugh or breath. He would have to stay ten more days until he would finally be sent home.

It was a wonder how much Jongin had laughed the last four weeks. In that period Jongin had laughed more often than in his last four years.

He didn't know what it was, but it felt damn good. He wasn't the loner anymore.

♦  ♦  ♦

[One week later.]

“I hope you are ready to get rid of that plaster!”

Jongin gave the nurse a happy glance and a fast nod. Since his legs weren't reaching the floor, because the lounge he was sitting on was quite high, he swayed them in excitement. There was almost no pain anymore.

“Don't move your legs like that. They will get worse.”

Jongin immediately stopped.

“Shall I put my leg on the lounge?”, he asked quietly with big eyes. He wanted to dance again so badly.

The nurse gave him a confused look.

“For what?”, she wanted to know and shook her head.

“You said, you'd remove my plasters.”, Jongin mumbled back.

“Yes but only the one on your arm...”, she explained, leaving the boy in a load of disappointment.

He just pouted. I wanna dance.

♦ ♦ ♦

Joonmyun felt bad. Not that kind of 'I-ate-too-much-pizza' - bad, no. Everything felt so... wrong.

His thoughts weren't normal anymore and don't come up with his behaviour.

"Is everything alright?", a smooth voice asked while caressing his back. Joonmyun turned to Taeyeon, his girlfriend.

Actually she was perfect. Too perfect to be real.

She was so handsome, cute and adorable. Her character was the perfect combination of funny, gentle and sassy. 

They were dating since almost two years now and their had always been so... novel-like. So undescribable perfect.

But the thing that made Joonmyun worried was, that he didn't like it anymore. It was too perfect. 

Their was quite awesome and they did it regularly but there was always that one little bit that was missing. It was not completely satisfying him, but he couldn't tell it her girlfriend. She would be upset though.

"Yes of course. Do you want some tea?", he kindly asked and did his best to avoid Taeyeon's gaze.

"Uhm... why not? Shall we watch a movie?", she smiled and put some hair behind her ear.

"Of course, you chose while I bring us tea, okay?", Joonmyun said while standing up from his bed. 

Taeyeon quickly made her way to his shelf with all the DVDs.

Joonmyun felt how put-on everything was. It was not real for him anymore. 

Coming back to the topic 'unsatisfied'. He always had to e at least once a day. He really was not a -addicted or something and of course he wasn't a -bastard.

But what really made him worried wasn't that he had to e. It was what JoonmyunÄs creepy head imagined while doing it.

Since about a month he always imagined how he was into Jongin's face.

And that was what creeped him out.

♦ ♦ ♦

It was not the fact that he still wouldn't be able to dance.

It was not the fact that he dropped his chocolate ice on his lap.

It was not Kyungsoo who was laughing his off.

None of these things were the cause of Jongin's watering eyes.

It felt like there was a tight string tied around his throat. Jongin's sight became blurry. The voices around him started to melt together to a puree.

Everything was blurred and unclear but not that one specific person sitting a few tables away from Jongin and his friends (yes he finally called them friends).

Painful memories started to rush through his mind. His head was a mess and his feelings were getting uncontrollable.

How is that possible? He is not supposed to be here!

Jongin got a lack of oxygen. He started to hyperventilate while he stared at that young boy across the hospital's cafetaria. His eyes got bigger and bigger and tears started to leave them while his body was trembling in an unhealthy way.

How the did that guy find me?

Everything started to spin around him. His heartbeat was dashing in an unsteady and too fast speed and his lungs were a burning mess.

Help.

His consciousness started to fade away while he was trying in despair to catch some air.

With a loud scream Jongin did the only thing that was possible in that moment for him.

He fainted.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Haha thank you for reading ... It's short again and I don't really like it xD

I told you I will always destroy the good mood :D   

Who could that stranger be? Any guesses?

I'm sorry Suho xD I really didn't want to make you a creepy boy with huge imagination skills... but in the world of fanfictions... EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

Chaeyo ♥