1. Pain war followed by love (like a battle to see who can hurt each other the most... I don't know why... feel like asking for angst and then romance at the end)

Pairing: Woogyu

a/n: I hope this is what you imagined! You wanted angst, so I focused on that~ (it was very sad to write ;; )
This one-shot probably on the borderline of PG 15, but there is no . A warning for language nevertheless!
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“Hurt leads to bitterness, bitterness to anger, travel too far that road and the way is lost.“ - Terry Brooks



Sunggyu doesn’t know when things started to go wrong. Maybe it was when their parents forced them to move in together or maybe it had started much earlier already, like when he got jealous of Woohyun’s grade and for being a nerd, or maybe it was during primary school days when Woohyun stole his favorite stuffed animal that Sunggyu got from his deceased mother. There are a thousand things he can think of now. The man isn’t sure when the teasing and the jokes started to hurt, when the games became a battle and when hate started to control their lives.

He stares at the hospital bed in front of him and a lonely tear rolls down his cheek. His own pain seems so small right now and all of their arguments seem stupid and senseless. Sunggyu wonders how they ended up like this. He wonders why neither of them noticed it earlier – how things kept escalating, how they started to go down the wrong road.

They had liked each other in the past and that like never truly disappeared. He knew that now. It just got covered up by their hurtful words and aching hearts, slowly growing into love somewhere in the shadows of their minds, protected from the poison that had made them like this.

The male reaches out for the pale hand that’s lying on the blanket and takes it between his palms. It feels so small suddenly, so cold and lifeless. Sunggyu wonders when the hand became so small. He remembers the times this very hand hit him right in the face. He remembers the feeling of the handprint on his cheek and it’s much bigger in his memory. The hand used to be hard, not soft like this. He used to flinch whenever it came near him but now Sunggyu wishes it would move, just a little twitch, and he would even let Woohyun hurt him again. He just wants him to move so much.

Nothing hurts more than waiting for the one you love.

Sunggyu lifts the hand against his forehead and closes his eyes, forcing himself to remember where things had gone wrong, who was at fault and how they ended up like this.



Age 5


“Sunggyu-yah, come here. Our guests are arriving.”

The little boy looks up from the paper he’s drawing on. He drops the red crayon in his hand and immediately stands up, following his father’s call like a good son. Sunggyu always listens to what his father tells him, because his daddy told him his mother would be very proud in heaven if he does that. Sunggyu doesn’t know where that heaven place is, but he wants his mother to be proud of him. Maybe she will return if he is a good boy.

He toddles out of the living room and towards his father. The man is waiting in the corridor by their front door. The little boy stretches out his arms and moves closer with fast, but wobbly, steps. “Appa!”

His father smiles and picks him up with his hands under Sunggyu’s armpits. He laughs as he gets lifted in the air. The feeling never ceases to amaze the little boy. He wraps his arms around his dad’s neck and the man holds on to him tightly. A kiss is pressed to his cheek. “Good boy. What are you going to say to our guests when they enter?”

His bangs are swiped to the side by his father’s big hand and Sunggyu thinks about his question. “Hello.”

“And?”

He frowns and purses his lips. Sunggyu can’t think of anything else to say. “Thank you?”

His father laughes. “No, my little angel. You say: Nice to meet you, uncle Nam and Woohyunnie. And then you give them a respectful bow. You understand?”

Sunggyu nods, although he doesn't completely understand why he needs to do those things. He has no idea who uncle Nam even is - or that Woohyunnie. “Uncle Nam is a good friend of mine that just moved here with his family, so be nice to him and his son, okay? I’m sure you will become great friends since he’s a year younger than you.”

So Woohyunnie is a boy and a year younger than him. That thought makes him more excited about meeting the guests. Sunggyu really likes making new friends. He nods again and his dad smiles. “Give me a bbobbo.”

Sunggyu gives him a quick peck on the lips and his father his hair proudly. The doorbell suddenly rings and he opens the door. Sunggyu looks at the guests curiously. A man is standing in front of them, who Sunggyu thinks must be uncle Nam. His father gives him a half-hug (since Sunggyu is on one of his arms) and they exchange a few words, but Sunggyu isn’t particularly interested in their conversation. He looks down and sees a boy looking up to him, his tiny hand curled around the long fingers of uncle Nam.

“Sunggyu-yah.” His head snaps back to his father and he notices the two adults staring at him.

“Hello.” He greets uncle Nam. His daddy gives him a waiting look and Sunggyu remembers to add: “Nice to meet you.”

The other man laughs and ruffles Sunggyu’s hair. “He’s a cute one, Jisung.”

“Your son is cute too. Hello Woohyunnie!” His dad crouches down and Sunggyu gets to look at the boy from up close.

The dark-haired boy seems kind of intimidated, though, and hides behind the legs of his dad quickly. “Aigoo, he’s scared of us. What should we do, Sunggyu-yah?”

He purses his lips shortly. “Hello Woohyunnie…nice to meet you.”

Woohyun doesn’t move from his spot and uncle Nam laughs. “Woohyun-ah. He’s your hyung. Greet him properly.”

The smaller boy shakes his head stubbornly and Sunggyu pouts. Uncle Nam looks down at him. “Just give him some time, Sunggyu-yah. He’ll warm up to you.”

His father lets go of him and stands up again. “Should we go inside? Sunggyu, why don’t you show Woohyunnie your toys?”

He glances at the boy shortly, doubting that he wants to go with him. “I’ll get them!”

Sunggyu runs off into the direction of his room, while his father brings the guests to the living room. He spends almost ten minutes standing in his room unable to decide which toy to take with him. The little boy settles for his favorite picture book, a police car and a small ball. Sunggyu toddles out of his room again and heads towards the living room. The two adult men are sitting on the sofa opposite of each other and Woohyunnie is sitting next to uncle Nam.

He puts the toys town near the sofas and runs out of the room again, ignoring his father calling after him not to run inside the house. Sunggyu slips into the kitchen. He climbs on the little stool by the fridge and opens it before climbing down again. He peeks inside. His dad put his favorite juice in the lowest part of the fridge, so that Sunggyu can get it himself. The boy smiles and gets out two packages. He closes the fridge again and hurries back to the living room.

His daddy smiles at him proudly when he shows off the little juice packs. “Did you get one for Woohyunnie too? That’s nice of you, Sunggyu.”

The boy nods and holds out one for the younger boy to take. Sunggyu’s daddy looks at the dark-haired boy when Woohyun just stares at the little pack. “Woohyunnie, this is Sunggyu’s favorite juice. He doesn’t even share it with me.”

Which is true. Sunggyu loves his juice a lot but he thinks that maybe this can get him closer to Woohyun. He doesn’t want the boy to be afraid of him. Woohyun reaches out and takes it into his tiny hands. Sunggyu smiles happily and wanders off to sit with his toys on the floor. He opens his juice pack on his own, while Woohyun asks uncle Nam to open it.

“Why don’t you ask Sunggyu to open it for you, Woohyun-ah?” The boy seems hesitant for a moment but then he jumps off the sofa and comes over to where Sunggyu is sitting.

The older boy welcomes him with a smile and pats the space next to him. Woohyunnie sits down and silently puts the juice into Sunggyu’s lap. Sunggyu doesn’t mind the silence, though. He opens the pack for the other boy and gives it back to him. “You’re welcome.”

“Oh, your son is so polite.” Uncle Nam says in the background. “Woohyun-ah, say thank you.”

The boy doesn’t say it and instead just drinks his juice eagerly. Sunggyu wipes his mouth like a good hyung when some juice spills over his chin. He doesn't mind that Woohyunnie is so quiet. He feels like he can understand the boy without words. He knows that the younger is thankful for his help but to shy to speak out loud.

Woohyun doesn’t say anything for the rest of the evening, but he plays with Sunggyu while their parents are talking about boring stuff. Sunggyu finds out that the smaller boy likes police cars more than books. In fact, he likes it so much that uncle Nam has to tear it from his tiny hands when they have to leave. Woohyunnie starts crying then and Sunggyu stares at him in fascination.

Uncle Nam picks the dark-haired boy up and pats his back in a comforting way. “Woohyun-ah, don’t cry. It’s not your toy, okay? You can’t take it home with you. It belongs to your hyung.”

The boy keeps crying and Sunggyu looks at the police car. He doesn’t understand why Woohyunnie loves it so much. Uncle Nam carries the crying boy out of the room. “I’m sorry, Jisung.”

“It’s okay. I understand. After all I have a child of my own.” Sunggyu’s daddy follows him to the front door.

Sunggyu stands up from his spot and picks up the toy. He runs after the two adults. “Appa!”

He slips in the corridor and trips over his own little feet. He falls down with a yelp. His daddy turns around with wide eyes and hurries to his side. “Sunggyu! I told you not to run!”

The boy fights back tears. He’s a big boy and big boys don’t cry. He doesn’t want his mother to be disappointed in him. His knees hurt but Sunggyu stands up. He holds out the toy to his father. “For Woohyunnie!”

“What? You want to give it to him?”

Sunggyu nods twice. His father puts a hand on his head. “Are you sure? You don’t have to give it to him if you don’t want.”

“Woohyunnie, no sad.” He says and his daddy understands.

“My little angel, come here.” Sunggyu’s father picks him up with his hands and carries him over to where the guests are standing, fully clothed again already. Woohyun has his head hidden against uncle Nam’s neck and Sunggyu can hear him weep. He holds the toy out to them.

Uncle Nam’s eyes widen. “Woohyun-ah, look. Your hyung has a present for you.”

The boy continues crying and Sunggyu puffs his cheeks shortly. “Woohyunnie! Police!”

Woohyun turns his head and spots the toy in Sunggyu’s stretched out hand. He eyes the car with trembling lips. Uncle Nam wipes his wet cheeks. “Sunggyu-hyung wants to give it to you. Isn’t that generous of him? What do you say, Woohyun-ah?”

“Thank you.” The young boy mumbles quietly.

Sunggyu beams. He’s happy to finally hear Woohyun’s voice. Uncle Nam takes the toy from him and looks at his son. “Do you want to give your hyung a bbobbo?”

Woohyunnie’s cheeks turn red but he nods. Uncle Nam steps closer and Woohyun leans forward, dropping a quick peck on Sunggyu’s lips. The boys blush and shyly turn their heads away afterwards. Their dads laugh. “I’m glad they get along.”

“Me too. Thank you for inviting me over, Jisung.”

“Anytime, Yunho. I’m sure Sunggyu would like it if Woohyun came over more often. Right, sweetheart?” Sunggyu nods shortly.

“I’ll bring him more often then. Are you okay with- oh my, he fell asleep. But I’m sure Woohyun will love to play more with you, Sunggyu-yah. Goodbye, Jisung.”

“Goodbye. See you again soon.” Sunggyu’s father said and then their guests left the house again.

Sunggyu yawns shortly and his daddy pats his back. “Are you tired? You were a good hyung today. I’m really proud of you, Sunggyu-yah.”

Happiness blooms inside his chest. Sunggyu smiles and his father carries him over to the kitchen. “Let’s get your knees treated, hm? Afterwards daddy will cook for you and then you can go to bed.”





Now that Sunggyu thinks about it, it was the first time he got hurt because of Woohyun.



Age 8


The two children quickly become friends through their fathers. Although Sunggyu is a year older, he takes care of Woohyun in kindergarten and later in primary school. When the other children want to bully Woohyunnie for being weak, Sunggyu is there to chase them away. They are scared of him because he’s older and taller, and has small, fierce-looking eyes. He doesn’t really care if his appearance scares other children, as long as Woohyun knows how he truly is. The younger boy likes to cling to him a lot and Sunggyu is the only person after uncle Nam that Woohyun talks to.

They have their first real fight when Woohyun sleeps over at their house for the first time. Uncle Nam is going out with auntie Nam, Woohyun’s mother, and they ask Sunggyu and his daddy to look after their boy. The day is fun but the night turns out differently.

Sunggyu climbs under his blanket and wraps his arms around the big, stuffed lion. He always sleeps with it. It was a present from his mother before she left for heaven. The little boy still remembers how she his hair, because he got scared by the lion and started to cry. His mommy said: “Lions are big and dangerous, right? That’s why you are scared, but this lion is special. Mommy tamed it, you know. It’s a nice lion and it promised Mommy to protect her little angel forever, because mommy saved its life. If anyone tries to hurt you, this lion will chase them away.”

Ever since, Sunggyu slept together with the big stuffed animal every night. It’s still a bit bigger than he is but it’s warm and feels safe. It will protect him until his mother returns.

“Hyung.” He lifts his head and looks over the lion. Woohyun is standing in front of his bed, staring at him with glossy eyes. “Can I sleep with you?”

“Why?”

Woohyunnie plays with his fingers. “I’m scared…”

Sunggyu frowns. “There’s no space in my bed. I’m right here, so just lie down again.”

Woohyun’s mattress is right next to his bed on the floor, so he doesn’t understand why the younger wants to sleep in his bed.

The younger boy sniffles. “Please, hyung! Can’t I switch places with the lion?”

“No!” He replies instantly and hugs the stuffed animal tighter.

Tiny hands grab the lion and tug on it, trying to pull it away. Sunggyu starts to scream. “Stop it! Don’t touch it!”

“Hyung! Why are you so mean?” Woohyun starts to cry. “Do you like me the most or that lion?”

“The lion! Now let go!” He sits up and pushes Woohyun away. The boy stumbles back and trips over something.

Woohyun hits his head when he falls down. The boy cries harder and thrashes around. Sunggyu falls back onto the bed and buries his face in the neck of his lion. He feels sorry for Woohyunnie but this is his stuffed animal – the one his mother gave him – and no one is allowed to touch it. Sunggyu needs it to sleep peacefully at night.

The door to his room opens and his father comes inside. “Woohyun, why are you lying on the ground and crying?”

He picks the boy up and tries to calm him down, but Woohyun stays stubborn. “Sunggyu-yah, what happened here?”

“Hyung pushed me away!” Woohyun bawls. “I just wanted to sleep with him!”

Sunggyu puffs his cheeks behind the lion. “He pulled on my lion! I told him to let go!”

“Kim Sunggyu!”

He knows this tone. His daddy is angry at him. He flinches. “I know the lion is important to you, but you can’t just push Woohyun like that. Apologize to him!”

“I’m sorry…” Sunggyu mutters into the soft fur of the lion.

“Get down from there and say it to his face or I’m putting the lion away in the closet.”

The boy sits up with a shocked expression and presses the lion to his chest. “No! You can’t take it from me! Mommy gave it to me!”

“And your mom wouldn’t have wanted you to be so mean to Woohyun! He’s younger than you, Sunggyu, and obviously scared of sleeping alone.”

Sunggyu hesitantly lets go of his stuffed animal and climbs down from the bed. His father lets go of Woohyun and Sunggyu takes him into his arms instead. “I’m sorry, Woohyunnie.”

The boy doesn’t stop crying. “I hate you, hyung!”

He bites on his lower lip. “I’m sorry…”

“C-Can I sleep in your bed then?”

“No! I told you there’s no space.” Sunggyu insists stubbornly.

His father looks impatient and tired. “Boys, why don’t I bring another mattress and you sleep on the floor together? There will be enough space for you two and the lion.”

Woohyun only looks half-happy about the suggestion. Sunggyu gives his daddy one more glance and then agrees. His father seems super exhausted and he doesn’t want him to get mad again. “Fine…”

His father ruffles Sunggyu’s hair. “Okay, let me get it real quick. Don’t fight while I’m gone.”

They need half an hour before the boys are ready to sleep again. His daddy tucks them under the blankets and puts the big lion next to Sunggyu. He drops a kiss on his son’s forehead. “Sleep well, angel. You too, Woohyunnie.”

He turns the light off, before walking out of the room. Woohyun wraps his small arms around Sunggyu and chuckles happily. “You’re so warm, hyung!”

Sunggyu grunts shortly and turns around in his grip, facing the big lion. He embraces the stuffed animal and closes his eyes. Woohyun slides closer to him and strengthens his hold. “Hyung, do you really like it more than me?”

“Hmh. My mommy gave it to me. It protects me.”

“Will you like me more if I protect you better?” The younger boy asks quietly.

Sunggyu blinks in the dark. “You can’t protect me, Woohyunnie. You’re too weak and a scaredy-cat.”

“Am not!”

“Yes!”

“Hyung is the girl!”

“What did you say!”

Woohyun giggles behind him and Sunggyu puffs his cheeks. “I like you, Sunggyu-hyung! Depend on me, please.”

He huffs. “Maybe if you get stronger. If you get strong enough to win against a lion, I’ll think about it.”




And the next morning his stuffed animal is gone. Woohyun is still hugging him tightly and the boy wriggles out of his grip while panicking. “L-Lion…”

The younger boy wakes up. “Hyung?”

“My lion is gone!” Sunggyu’s eyes fill with tears as he scrambles through the room. He looks into every corner and crack.

Woohyun comes up behind him and hugs him with a chuckle. “I defeated the lion, Sunggyu-hyung! Now I can be your protector!”

He pushes the other boy away. Fear grabs his tiny heart. “W-What did you do?”

“Don’t worry, hyung! You got me now!”

Sunggyu runs out of the room with tears streaming down his cheeks. He checks every room for a sign of his stuffed animal. His father notices the commotion and grabs him by the collar of his pajama. “What’s going on? Why are you crying, Sunggyu?”

He starts sobbing harder and clings to his daddy’s shirt. “W-Woohyunnie…my lion…it’s gone. Mommy!”

Woohyun catches up with them. “Hyung, you need to wait for me!”

Sunggyu’s father glances at the boy. “Woohyun, what happened to your hyung’s lion?”

“I defeated it!” The boy declares with a proud smile.

“Mommy…” Sunggyu bawls and his father pulls him into his big arms.

“Where did you defeat it, Woohyunnie?” He asks calmly.

Woohyun points at the door that leads to the garden behind the house. Sunggyu gets lifted by his daddy and is put on the sofa in the living room. “Both of you will wait here.”

“D-Daddy…”

“I’ll get your lion, angel. Wait here, okay?” Sunggyu nods and his father ruffles his hair shortly before leaving for the garden.

He pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them. Sunggyu continues to cry as he waits for his father to return, quietly calling for his mommy. The sofa dips next to him when Woohyun sits down. “Hyung, only girls cry that much.”

A tiny hand touches his arm but Sunggyu pushes it away. “Don’t touch me! I hate you!”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do! I’ll never forgive you!”

“It’s just a stupid stuffed animal!” Woohyun shouts in anger.

Sunggyu looks up and pushes him off the sofa. “You’re the stupid one!”

“You are mean and stupid! That’s why your mother left!” The younger boy retorts and Sunggyu’s eyes widen.

Woohyun storms out of the room and leaves the older boy behind in a shocked state. Tears roll down his cheeks and he curls into a ball. “Mommy…”

Did she really leave him because he’s a bad boy? Did the Lion also disappear because he was mean to Woohyun? Maybe this is the punishment he deserves.

His dad finds him like that, curled into a ball with swollen, red eyes and snot running down his face. Sunggyu’s father holds him for hours, his back and telling him that mommy loves Sunggyu a lot, but the boy keeps on crying. He doesn’t ask where his lion is, too afraid to hear that he also went to heaven because of Sunggyu.



Years later, Sunggyu finds out that Woohyun had dragged the stuffed lion to the garden in the middle of the night and dumped it into the big pond. They never pull it out.


Age 13


Their relationship continues to be rocky after that day. Sunggyu gets over the loss of his lion eventually, but he never really forgives Woohyun. They become friends again, though, despite the things that had been done and said. At least they are friends for a few years until Woohyun enters his middle school. The younger boy has changed a lot since the day Sunggyu’s lion drowned. Sunggyu can barely recognize him as the same weak and quiet boy from before anymore. The Woohyun now is athletic, outspoken and intelligent (he even got to skip a grade and joined Sunggyu’s class), popular with everyone and disrespectful to his hyung.

It’s in their first year in middle school, Sunggyu thinks, when they start to hurt each other intentionally.




Sunggyu scores a 27 in English and Woohyun laughs at him in front of his friends. “You’re so dumb! 27!”

His cheeks grow red but Sunggyu doesn’t cry, he hits the younger boy in the face, though.

They don’t talk for a week.




He takes his revenge during the next math test. Sunggyu writes some math scribbles on a piece of paper and crumbles it up. He then throws it next to Woohyun’s desk when the teacher isn’t looking.

When their teacher turns around spots the paper next to Woohyun’s desk, he picks it up of course. “Nam Woohyun, what is this? Were you cheating?”

The younger boy looks at him with wide eyes and shakes his head immediately. “N-No! I’d never-“

It’s Woohyun’s luck that this teacher hates him for being a genius and skipping a class. Everyone knows that and Sunggyu knows this one teacher will gladly take the chance to frame Woohyun for cheating. “Stand up and go out. Wait in front of the classroom until everyone is finished with your arms raised. I’ll inform your parents about this.”

Woohyun bites his lower lip and tears the paper from the teacher’s hands. He stares at it for a moment and then looks directly at Sunggyu. The smile falls from the older boy’s face and Woohyun’s expression becomes hard. Of course he recognizes his hyung’s handwriting. “Nam Woohyun! OUT!”




They continue like that – a never-ending cycle of petty revenges. The boys don’t stop at anything: gum in the hair, pulling the chair away, tripping the other in the cafeteria, lying to their parents to get the other into trouble and shouting hateful words at each other when no one is looking.

They never fight in front of their parents. That's the only rule to their little game. It’s a game to see who can hurt the other the most and neither of them is ready to admit defeat.


With the years passing, their pranks and words become more hurtful. They try to get back at the other at any cost.



Age 15


Sunggyu has a crush on a girl when he’s 15. She is in another class but in the same year. Hyuna is one of the most popular girls of the school. She is beautiful and just emits a strong aura that Sunggyu falls in love with. He’s definitely not just crushing on her because she always wears such revealing outfits that make his teenager hormones go rampant. He likes her for more than that! She has a wonderful voice for example and Sunggyu could listen to it all day.

He spends months crushing on her, but when he finally decides to confess, Woohyun destroys everything.




“H-Hyuna, can I talk to you for a moment? Alone…” Sunggyu asks her.

She blushes. Hyuna’s friends giggle next to her and the girls start to whisper. “Sunggyu-oppa! Of course~”

Hyuna smiles at him and Sunggyu feels his heart flutter. He’ll become her boyfriend today – definitely! “Wait a second!”

They turn their heads and his smile falls. Nam Woohyun strolls closer to them and all the students in the corridor become quiet, staring at their little group. Woohyun has a smirk on his face that makes Sunggyu feel like something bad is going to happen.

“Are you sure you want to date that ugly twig?” Sunggyu presses his lips together tightly at his words.

She purses her lips. “Sunggyu-oppa is handsome. He’s not an ugly twig. Get out of the way, Nam Woohyun!”

“H-Hyuna…” His smile returns reluctantly.

“Will you still date him if you know he’s still wetting his bed?” Woohyun asks and Sunggyu pales.

“What?” He exclaims.

Hyuna laughs. “Wow, you are pretty desperate to spout such a lie. Are you jealous because oppa is so perfect, you stupid nerd?”

Woohyun laughs as well and pulls out his phone. Sunggyu stares at him with a feeling of dread in his gut. “Woohyun, stop this right now!”

The younger boy throws his phone into Hyuna’s hands. “There. Proof.”

She gasps and Sunggyu’s eyes widen. Hyuna looks at him and her face turns into a mask of disgust. “I can’t believe it!”

The girls look over her shoulder and some of them start to laugh. “Oh my god! He really wet his bed!”

Sunggyu’s ears grow hot and he grabs the phone from Hyuna. There really is a picture of him in bed with a dark patch right under his lower half. Then he remembers that time when Woohyun pranked him by throwing water on him. He opens his mouth. “N-No, it’s not like that…”

Other students tear the phone from his hands and suddenly everyone wants to take a look. Sunggyu tries to tell them it’s not like that but they don’t listen. He gets pushed to the back by the crowd and only hears them laughing and whispering about it.

“It’s a lie! Woohyun! Woohyun tell them it’s not true!” He begs the younger student but Woohyun just smirks.

“You’re such a baby, wetting your bed and what now, crying? Are you going to call for your mother next?”

Everyone stares at him and Sunggyu panics. He runs away from the scene with a red face and a crushed heart. Students call after him. “Baby!” “Sunggyu the baby!”



And that is the day his middle school life turns into a nightmare. Diapers are left on his table every day as well as other baby stuff. His friends leave him and Hyuna also stops talking to him. Sunggyu realizes that Woohyun has won this time but it’s not the end. He won’t admit defeat.




Two weeks later, he spreads a picture of Woohyun’s to all the students of their school via mail. He adds a picture of Woohyun to it, so that everyone will know who it belongs to. Sunggyu smiles to himself in satisfaction when the mail is sent. He knows Woohyun is ashamed of his, because it’s still small compared to everyone else’s –boys their age like comparing that part a lot and brag about who had the most wet dreams or could get hard the fastest. It is pretty stupid but it serves the purpose.

The next day at school, Woohyun is surprised when everyone points at him and laughs. “It’s so small, you can barely see it!” some girls say and others whisper: “I had to zoom in to find it!”

Sunggyu smirks triumphantly when he sees the embarrassment on Woohyun’s face. Now his reputation is destroyed as well. Woohyun gives him a knowing glare before he storms out of the classroom. “You’ll pay for that!”

He tries to tell himself that he actually feels better for the rest of the day.



Age 18


He’s beyond excited as he works on his eyeliner in front of the bathroom mirror. It’s his first time using make-up to make himself look pretty. Sunggyu looks at himself when he’s done and smiles proudly. The eyeliner does wonders to his small eyes and it fits well with the red hue of his hair. His skin also looks fairer and blemish-free thanks to the BB cream. Sunggyu is dressed in a white shirt that’s a little too big for him, revealing his left shoulder and his collarbone, and a pair of tight, dark blue jeans. Sunggyu adds a few leather bracelets for decoration to his left wrist and puts his favorite earrings on. His smile widens.

“You look hot. Perfect. You’ll definitely get laid tonight.” Sunggyu encourages himself. “No more being a !”

The boy unlocks the bathroom and stumbles back because he’s greeted with the sight of Nam Woohyun himself. “W-What are you doing here?”

The younger boy crosses his arms and gives him a smug smile. “My dad told me to get something and then I wanted to use the toilet for a moment, but some idiot was blocking the bathroom for a long time.”

His cheeks start to become warm and Sunggyu tries to stop himself from blushing in embarrassment. He tries to walk past the other. “Your house is next to ours. Just go use your own bathroom!”

Woohyun pushes him back inside. “I heard you talking to yourself. Trying to get laid by your dumb boyfriend, huh?”

He flinches shortly. “That’s none of your business.”

“As if that’s going to happen. What’s that on your face? Make-up? He’s going to laugh at you. You used way too much, though I guess it wasn’t enough to hide your ugly face.”

His words are like a slap in the face and Sunggyu struggles to keep his composure. Woohyun laughs. “And those clothes…horrible. Where did you get them? At the second-hand shop? You look like a cheap .”

The younger boy scoffs and walks off, leaving Sunggyu behind with his doubts and trembling fists. He looks at himself in the mirror again and suddenly he doesn't feel so confident anymore. He saw a hot boy before but now he just looks like Woohyun described him – like a cheap .

Sunggyu ends up washing all the make-up off and changing into a comfortable sweater and normal jeans. This is better, right? The doorbell rings and he knows his boyfriend is there to pick him up. “Confidence, Sunggyu. Confidence is y.”



An hour later, they are in a club and everything is perfect until Sunggyu leaves shortly to order two more shots for them. When he returns to their table, his boyfriend is gone. He finds him on the dance floor, some other guy grinding his against Hoya’s crotch. They are touching each other in a way that Hoya hasn’t touched Sunggyu at all. He downs both of the shots quickly and wobbles over to them. He pushes the other guy away and grinds against his boyfriend instead. Sunggyu wraps his arms around Hoya’s neck and rocks their hips together in a seductive way. He kisses his boyfriend shortly.

“Aren’t you here with me?”

Hoya smirks and s his . Sunggyu blushes and his boyfriend leans closer. “You’re so ing y like this. Although I’d like it if there weren’t so many clothes in the way.”

The other male pulls back suddenly and tugs on his hand, pulling him away from the crowd. Sunggyu can hear his heart throbbing over the sound of the music. Hoya leads him to the toilet in the back and they end up in one of the stalls, heavily kissing and hands roaming everywhere on his body. He gets pushed until his back hits the wall and Sunggyu moans into the kiss. This is certainly not what he imagined his first time to be like – in the stall of a dirty bathroom where hundreds of people have every night – though what Hoya is doing to him right now feels way to good to say no. His boyfriend seems to know exactly what to do but that also scares him a bit.

“H-Hoya, shouldn’t we go somewhere else?” He asks between the kisses as the other boy starts ing his pants.

His boyfriend raises a brow. “Why? I’m and we’ve been together for a month without having even once.”

Hoya tugs his pants down and Sunggyu suddenly panics. He grabs his pants and pulls them up again. “I’m not sure…maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

“Seriously?” His boyfriend clicks his tongue. “You get met all and then reject me? Isn’t this what you wanted - someone taking your damn ity? God, this is so disappointing. I should’ve gone with that skinny dude on the dance floor. His was nice.”

He blinks. “Eh?”

Hoya grabs him and turns him around with his strong hands. Sunggyu struggles to get away, but the other boy is stronger and he is weaker than normal because of the alcohol. “No, Hoya! I don’t want it!”

“Shut up! I haven’t put up with you for so long to end up without scoring your hole.” His heart breaks and Sunggyu starts to cry.

“I thought you love me!”

“I don’t! I just wanted to get in your stupid pants! Stop crying! So damn annoying!”

Suddenly, the door to their stall gets pulled open and next thing he knows, Hoya is torn away from him. Sunggyu secures his pants and peeks outside, gasping when he spots Woohyun fighting with Hoya. They are having a fistfight and Hoya is clearly losing, although he managed to give Woohyun a bloody nose. Sunggyu watches, frozen in fear.

“You bastard!” Woohyun shouts and throws the other male to the ground. He kicks his ribs and Hoya cries out.

Woohyun turns around and Sunggyu flinches. The younger boy grabs his wrist and pulls him away from the toilets. His heart is still throbbing loudly in his ears but Sunggyu is no longer surely of the reason. Is it the adrenaline, the fear, from the attack of his (ex-)boyfriend or is it because Woohyun is holding his hand, as he drags him out of the club?



Fresh air fills his lungs once they are outside and Sunggyu sways shortly. He definitely has drunk too much at the club, especially since he is still too young for alcohol. Woohyun lets go of his hand and glares at him. “What were you thinking?”

Sunggyu stares at him. He isn’t sure what to answer since he doesn’t know what he was thinking either. The alcohol had made him act like a and his boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, had almost taken him in those dirty toilets. Definitely not how he imagined this evening to go.

“Are you listening to me?” Woohyun shouts.

He shrugs. The alcohol isn’t exactly making thinking very easy. “It’s none of your business, Woohyun. Leave me alone.”

Sunggyu turns away and tries to walk off, but his wrist is grabbed again. He curses and tears his arm away, almost losing his balance and stumbling into a lamppost. “Don’t touch me! Bastard! I hate you!”

“Yah, be careful! You’re going to hurt yourself.” The alcohol he drank must’ve been pretty strong, because he is imagining that Woohyun is actually worried about him.

He chuckles. “You always hurt me. Isn’t this what you want to see? I thought you’d film it and then make fun of me in front of the school! Sunggyu the ing ! Everyone look at that idiot! For 5$ he will blow your mind!”

He is shouting by now and Woohyun grabs him again. “Stop shouting! Do you want the whole neighborhood to hear you?”

“Or maybe you want to finish what he started?”

A slap hits him and Sunggyu trips over his own feet. He falls to the ground and hits his elbow painfully. “!”

Woohyun glares down at him. “Is this really what you’re thinking of me? Do you honestly think I’d do that?”

Sunggyu struggles back to his feet and throws a fist at the other, hitting Woohyun’s cheek. “Of course! It’s not like anyone would willingly want your little !”

The younger boy stumbles backwards, but quickly catches his balance and lounges back at him. Sunggyu’s head swims after the punch and he feels blood running down from his nose. “You're an , Woohyun.”

“And you’re a . Now let me take you home.” Woohyun grabs his arm violently and jerks him away from the lamppost.

He stumbles into the other male’s chest and as if destiny had wanted it this way, their lips collide for the split of a second. Sunggyu isn’t sure who reacts first, since his senses are numbed, but a second later he has one teeth less and Woohyun is crouching down while holding his balls.

“You taste disgusting!” Sunggyu spits – or actually, maybe Woohyun says it, he isn’t sure. His head hurts and it’s getting harder to stay on his feet.

He is sure that more things are being said but Sunggyu feels like he isn’t part of the conversation anymore. His mouth moves and he speaks, Woohyun speaks and they shout at each other, he can see that. But Sunggyu himself feels like he is watching it all from somewhere far away. He can’t hear what they are saying but he knows that they are hurting each other. It feels wrong but he cannot change it. He’s somewhere else and can only watch.

Sunggyu thinks about how the short kiss wasn’t all that bad. How it felt more real than what he had with Hoya. He wonders why he is screaming at Woohyun and calling him things. Why they cannot stop shouting at each other and hurting the other person? He thinks ‘Woohyun, you’ve won. It hurts so much.’ but those are not the words that leave his lips.

The shouting only ends when Sunggyu’s body collapses on the sidewalk.



Age 21


After the incident with the club, their relationship changes, but not really for the better. They start ignoring each other completely. Sunggyu thinks it must be the next stage of hating someone. First you tease each other, then you hurt each other and when it hurts enough, you hate each other silently. There’s no need to hurt each other with words anymore, since the silence is what hurts the most.

They are currently in college and living together, thanks to their parents. Sunggyu doesn’t even know how they end up choosing the same college, but their parents find it wonderful and put them in one apartment together. It’s hell, he thinks. The apartment is always filled with an eerie silence. Whenever they are home, they spend their time inside of their rooms. Even if their paths do cross inside the apartment, they don’t acknowledge the other person’s presence. Sunggyu avoids running into Woohyun in the apartment or in their college. He feels like the silence is hurting him more than it does the younger man.

Sunggyu feels like he has always been the one that got hurt the most. comes out of Woohyun’s mouth whenever he opens it, so he should feel relieved at the silence, but he doesn’t. It’s suffocating and it makes him restless at night. Like this might just be the silence before the storm.



And when the storm hits, it will be the question of who drowns first.




Sunggyu walks through the corridor with quick steps. He forgot about the deadline for one of his assignments and now he hurries to reach the professor’s office before it is too late. The stack of papers pressed to his chest, he dashes around the corner. Suddenly, the quiet sound of a piano makes him stop. Sunggyu is in a hurry but something is so captivating about the melody. He looks around and notices he is near the music rooms. The man glances at his watch shortly and he thinks a few minutes can’t hurt. The melody is beautiful and something about it makes his heart flutter inside his chest. Sunggyu heads towards the room where the piano music seems to come from.

He leans his forehead against the door and listens for a moment. It’s a wonderful piece that gives him contradicting feels. It feels so hopeful and full of growing love, like a flower that starts to spring after winter ends, but there is also a bit of loneliness and sadness underlining it. Sunggyu wonders why it feels so familiar.

The man carefully opens the door to take a look at the pianist. Sunggyu’s eyes widen when he recognize the musician. His grip around the stack of papers loosens unconsciously. Both he and Woohyun flinch in surprise when the paper stack hits the floor. Woohyun looks at him in shock and Sunggyu freezes in the doorframe. Why is it Woohyun of all people? How can that guy play such a wonderful melody?

“What…What are you doing here?” Woohyun asks.

“I-“ Sunggyu looks down at his feet and back to Woohyun. “I think I went into the wrong room.”

The other man raises a brow. “Really now?”

Woohyun then clears his throat. Why does he look so flustered suddenly? “H-How much did you hear?”

His reflex is to go into defense. It will hurt less if you keep an emotional distance - he has learned that lesson. “I heard enough. Is that your piece for the final exam?”

The younger male averts his gaze and stares down at the piano keys. “No. It’s…I composed it for someone important. Someone I love a lot.”

Woohyun looks back to him and Sunggyu suddenly feels so under his gaze. For some reason Woohyun’s words make his heart ache. He hates that feeling and Sunggyu gets mad at himself, at Woohyun, for feeling hurt again. So what if Woohyun has written the song for someone important? Why does that hurt him? He clenches his fists. “I feel bad for that person then.”

Woohyun blinks. “Eh?”

The words feel like poison on his tongue and Sunggyu spits them out, though they only seem to make the crack in his heart worse. “It sounds awful. I just wanted to come in here to tell you to stop this torture. You at music and you should’ve used your brain to study something you can actually do!”

He should feel better after seeing Woohyun’s face fall but it only makes him feel worse. Sunggyu takes a step back, and then another, until he’s out of the room and running away, forgetting his assignment that’s sprawled out on the cold tiles. He runs back to his, their, apartment.

His lungs are burning by the time he arrives. Sunggyu scrambles inside with heavy pants. He slams the door shut and sinks down with his back against it. He feels something wet on his cheeks and Sunggyu notices that he is crying. No soft sniffles or lonely tears but real bawling his eyes out. The tears won’t stop falling and it feels like his heart is bleeding on the carpet. He doesn’t know why he is crying that much but in his head he keeps hearing Woohyun’s words.

“I composed it for someone important. Someone I love a lot.”

“I hate you so much…” He mutters between sobs. “Why do you keep torturing me? It hurts so much whenever I see you. I wish you disappeared and left me alone.”



Woohyun doesn’t return home for days and when Sunggyu comes home from class one day, all of Woohyun’s stuff is gone from their apartment. He is stunned for a moment. His father calls him on his phone. “Sunggyu, what’s going on?”

That’s what he would like to know. “Is this about Woohyun?”

“Of course! Why does he suddenly abort his studies and come back home? He’s not talking to his parents at all and just hides in his room. They are worried. I thought you might know something.”

Only that Sunggyu knows even less. They never talked to each other after all. There is a gnawing feeling in the corner of his mind, telling him that it must have something to do with the music room incident, but Sunggyu forces himself to forget that.

“Sunggyu? Are you still there?”

“Y-Yes. He didn’t tell me anything…”

“Why don’t you visit us on the weekend? Maybe he will listen to you and come to his senses.” Sunggyu doubts it.

“I’m busy with my exams…and I don’t think he’d want me there. Just give him some time. He’s probably just chickening out because the final exams are close. Dad, I have to hang up now. Thank you for calling. Bye.”

“Sung-“ He hangs up quickly and puts the phone down with shaking hands. So what if Woohyun is sulking in his room? It’s not his business and Woohyun would not want him there anyways.




It’s almost two month later, when his phone rings in the middle of the night. Sunggyu groans and rolls his pillow over his head to muffle the sound. The caller is pretty persistent, though. “Geez! It’s ing 4 am!”

He reaches for his phone blindly and accepts the call without checking the ID. “Hello?”

“Sunggyu-yah-“ The voice is loud and kind of slurred. Sunggyu frowns and holds the phone further away from his ear.

“Who’s that?”

A chuckle. “Your best friend.”

“I don’t- wait, Woohyun, is that you? Are you drunk?” He sits up and turns on the little lamp next to his pillow.

“Maybe.” Woohyun laughs.

Sunggyu sighs. He’s heard that Woohyun has started drinking from his father. He still asks Sunggyu to come by from time to time, but he always declined with some kind of excuse. The younger man is apparently not doing anything but sulking in his room and when he does get out, he gets wasted and sometimes doesn’t even make it home. Woohyun has never called him before, though. Sunggyu never knew he even has his number.

“Sunggyu-yah~”

“Hey! I’m older than you!” He hisses angrily. Not that Woohyun ever cared about being respectful to him. “I’m hanging up by the way.”

“No, wait!” Woohyun blurts out.

Sunggyu rubs his forehead. He pulls his knees to his chest and rests his chin on top of them. “What do you want?”

“Do you…remember the song?” Woohyun slurs.

He presses his lips together tightly and stays quiet. Of course he remembers. Sunggyu cannot forget the beautiful melody. It’s stuck in his head and follows him even into his dreams.

“I poured all my feelings into it...but it wasn’t enough.”

Sunggyu his lips. Did Woohyun play it for his important person? Did that guy or girl not like it? Are they dumb? It is such a wonderful piece. Sunggyu knows he talked bad about it, but that was just…it was not what he truly thought. He doesn’t know what he feels now, knowing that Woohyun got rejected. Is he happy?

“So that’s what this is all about? You got rejected and that makes you drop all your studies and move back home, drinking and sulking all day? You’re pathetic.”

The words leave his mouth before he can stop himself and Sunggyu smacks his own head. Spouting hurtful words is always so easy, although he knows that Woohyun must be hurt enough already. Perhaps he hopes that Woohyun will accept this challenge and bite back, become the old Woohyun that is mean and doesn’t drown his sorrows in a bar.

Woohyun doesn’t get mad, though. “You’re right. Always right…I’m pathetic.”

He laughs again and Sunggyu closes his eyes. “I thought I could apologize to him…for everything I’ve done, but he wanted me to disappear from his life…”

Sunggyu hums shortly. There’s sniffing on the other end of the line and he thinks he can hear a car engine. The feeling of dread in his stomach grows stronger. “Woohyun, are you in a car?”

“Yeah…Hyung, do you sometimes wish you could travel back in time?”

“Who doesn’t? You are not driving the car, are you?”

“I wish I could go back in time and undo all the things I did. I love him so much and yet all I did was hurt him. The jealousy was eating me up from the inside and I couldn’t stop myself.” Woohyun starts sobbing. “I’m so sorry.”

He thinks he can hear tires squeak. Sunggyu’s heart races inside his chest. “W-Woohyun, stop the car! You can’t drive in your current state! I’m sure he’ll forgive you-”

“Hyung” Woohyun breathes. “Please forgive me. I’ve always loved you…”

“Woo-“ There is a loud crash suddenly and Sunggyu’s eyes widen. He clasps a hand over his mouth as he listens to the loud noises on the other end of the line. Metal breaks, glass shatters and after what seems like an eternity, the other side becomes dead silent.

“Woohyun?”

“God damn it, Woohyun! Say something.” Sunggyu bites on his thumb. There is no reaction.

“You can’t do this! You can’t just say things like that and then ignore me!” He shouts in anger but there is no reply.

Sunggyu starts to weep. He rocks his body forward and backward. “You’ve won! Woohyun, you heard me? You’ve won! It hurts so much I want to die!”

The song was for him…

Woohyun wanted to confess and apologize to him, but Sunggyu had crushed his heart without knowing it. All the words he said, Sunggyu now realizes, had been nothing but jealousy. The thought of Woohyun having an important person had been too much and Sunggyu had let those ugly feelings control him in a weak moment.

“I’m sorry, Woohyun. I’m sorry. Please say something.”

“I love you too, so don’t you dare die.”



Age 25


Sunggyu leans back on his chair and puts the cold hand down on his lap again. He the back of the hand with his thumb. Whose felt is this, in the end? He doesn't know. They both acted stupid. They both hurt the other person badly. They both played this game.

But Sunggyu knows this, Woohyun’s current state, is entirely his fault. He is the one that pushed Woohyun into the drinking. It’s his fault that the younger man stole his friend’s car after drinking two bottles of vodka and then drove down the highway, crashing into a tree with what could only be called purpose. He’s always thought he is the one that hurts the worst, the one that felt the most pain. But he knows different now. Sunggyu got the chance to read Woohyun’s diary and his past picture of Woohyun had crumbled while he read it. Woohyun was always the meaner one, the stronger one, and Sunggyu always the one to cry easily. But sometimes the bigger pain is the one you hide away.

Has Woohyun ever cried? Let go of his sorrow?

Sunggyu doesn’t know the answer. Woohyun’s doctor doesn’t think so.

“Is it too late for us?” He mumbles quietly.

“Do you remember how you asked me if I ever wanted to travel back in time? I wish I could do it now. I’d go back to the day you wanted to crawl into my bed and tell you: Sure, come here. Then you wouldn’t have felt the need to act stronger than a lion...”

Is it too late for a second chance? Sunggyu carefully tucks the hand under the blanket again. He stands up and closes the window, shortly taking a moment to stare at the city outside. He presses his palm against the cold glass and sighs. He starts humming a melody – the song that Woohyun composed for him. Sunggyu doesn’t even notice that another voice joins the humming.

He stops because he doesn’t know how the song continues – Sunggyu interrupted Woohyun’s play back then – but the melody continues behind him. He turns his head quickly. Woohyun’s eyes are closed but he’s humming the song he wrote for Sunggyu. “W-Woohyun…”

The younger man stops and Sunggyu hurries to his side. He looks down at the other and Woohyun opens his eyes after a few tries. “H-Hey…”

His voice is hoarse and muffled by the mask over his mouth, plus the tube in his nose. Sunggyu presses the button to call for a doctor and attempts his first smile in a while. “You big idiot. Don’t talk. The doctor is coming.”

“H-Hyung…are you…smiling…or crying?”

“Shut up, Woohyun.” He drops a kiss on Woohyun’s forehead and the younger man gives him a broken chuckle.

“I can’t feel my legs…”

Sunggyu’s fingers grasp Woohyun’s hand again under the blanket and he gives it a strong squeeze. The door to the room opens and the doctor rushes in with two nurses. Sunggyu has to leave Woohyun’s side again and the three take care of their patient. He waits in a corner, hugging himself and crying silently. He tells himself to be strong because Woohyun is hurting, Woohyun is the one in pain and he needs Sunggyu, but it’s hard. So hard.



Age 28


“Where did I put the present for your mother?” Sunggyu shouts from the bedroom.

“I don’t know. Probably in the cupboard by the front door.” A voice replies to him from the distance.

“The cupboard…right.”

He stands up and runs out of the bedroom. Sunggyu dashes through the living room and then enters the corridor, almost colliding with the clothes rack. “Why is this standing in the way!”

“Stop running inside the house. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Sunggyu huffs and continues on to the cupboard. He opens it and searches for the bag with the present. He rejoices loudly when he finds the silver bag. “Found it!”

“I told you it’s there.”

“No, you said you don’t know!” He retorts and stands up, trailing back to the living room where his boyfriend is waiting.

“Why are you in such a hurry? We’ve still got time.”

He crosses his arms. “You’re not even wearing your suit yet and I still have to shower and dress myself!”

“Then you should go shower. You reek, darling. I can put the suit on on my own.” His boyfriend heads to their bedroom and Sunggyu pouts.

“Fine, if you say so. But I don’t reek!”



Sunggyu wraps a towel around his waist after the shower and swipes his wet hair back before he walks back to the bedroom. He finds his lover lying backwards on the bed, shirt and blazer already on, the necktie tied around his neck perfectly, but he’s struggling with taking his old pants off.

He stops in the doorframe and crosses his arms again with a light smirk. “I thought you could do it on your own?”

“Shut up and help me!” His boyfriend replies, his face red from anger and embarrassment.

Sunggyu chuckles and steps closer. He pulls the sweatpants off and throws them aside. The older man grabs the black pants lying next to Woohyun on the bed and crouches down again, carefully putting his boyfriend’s feet through the two holes and pulling the pants up afterwards.

“There. You can do the rest yourself.” Sunggyu declares but a hand grabs his nape and pulls him down, before he can even think of stepping back. He falls on top of the other male and his boyfriend brings their lips together. Sunggyu smiles into the kiss and replies to it. They enjoy the taste of each other for a moment, before the older man pulls back.

“We can’t do this now. We have to get ready.” He stands up and walks towards the closet to get his own suit.

His lover whines. “You’re such a ing tease, walking in here with only your towel on and your skin glistening like that!”

Sunggyu laughs shortly and drops the towel. “Is it better like this?”

“God damn it, Gyu! You’re such a .”

He smiles and dresses himself quickly. “Watch your words, honey.”

Sunggyu finishes his look with a red necktie and then walks to the little nightstand. He picks up the golden ring and puts it on his left hand. “Should we go then?”

“If we have to…”

“Yes, we have to go. It’s your mother’s 50th birthday.” Sunggyu hurries to the bathroom once more to put some make-up on and dry his hair.

He finds his lover waiting for him in the corridor and Sunggyu throws him a smile. “How do I look?”

“able. How do I look?”

“Like you just fought with a lion.” He replies and puts his shoes on. Afterwards, he crouches down and puts his boyfriend’s feet into his shoes.

Sunggyu gets his coat and throws the other one to his lover. After they are both dressed, they leave the apartment. “Do you have the bag for your mother?”

“Yes…”

The slight annoyance in the younger man’s voice makes him smile. Sunggyu presses the button for the elevator and they get inside. “Do you think we should move into another apartment? One on the ground floor. I’m always waiting for the day the elevator stops moving.”

His lover only huffs in reply and Sunggyu his hair as the elevator heads to the lowest floor.

With a ping, the elevator stops and they enter the garage. Sunggyu unlocks the car and grabs the bag from his boyfriend’s hands. He puts it on the seat in the back and opens the passenger’s side for him. He waits until the younger man is sitting on his seat, knowing that he doesn’t want any help. It takes almost ten minutes but then he is fully seated and Sunggyu folds the wheelchair together.

He puts it in the trunk and then sits down on the driver’s seat. “Three years and you’re still too proud to let me help you.”

“I don’t want to be treated like a cripple. I can perfectly take care of myself.”

“Oh, really? I remember you having another tone last night when you asked me to ride you.” Sunggyu smirks.

His boyfriend blushes. “That was an exception.”

“And that time when there was a spider in the bathroom and you were in such a panic to get out that your wheelchair fell over, leaving you screaming for help until the neighbors called the police? Did I mention you were when they stormed the apartment?”

The other male groans. “Gyu!”

He smiles and reaches over to drop a kiss on his lover’s lips. “I know. I know you want to be strong and independent. Just…remember that I’m here to help you. It’s not a disgrace to ask for help.”

“Why are you always right about everything?”

“Maybe because I’m your husband.”

“Fine, but I’m still wiping my own .”

Sunggyu laughs. “That’s okay. My love for you doesn’t go that deep.”

Now it was his lover’s turn to smirk. “Really? I perfectly remember all the times you stuck your or tongue deep into my-“

“Nam Woohyun!”

“Yes, darling?”

“Shut up.”








Epilogue

Age 36


“It feels so good to walk again. To feel the sand beneath my feet…”

Sunggyu feels arms wrapping around his waist from behind and he leans back against his lover. “The doctor said walking on sand will help with your recovery, but we shouldn’t walk for too long or you’ll tire out.”

Woohyun hums and puts his chin on Sunggyu’s shoulder. They look at the ocean together. “This feels like a dream.”

He understands what the younger man means. They thought Woohyun would never be able to walk again but thanks to new developments, the doctor found a new treatment that could help him. They were hesitant at first, because the procedure was still in the developing stage and there were barely any cases supporting it, but Sunggyu is glad they decided to do the operation. Woohyun is still wobbly on his legs and will need the wheelchair for a few months more, since his body hasn’t moved properly for years. But in about a year, everything should be forgotten.

“Too bad your parents aren’t here anymore to see you walk again.” Sunggyu whispers.

Woohyun’s grip on him tightens slightly. “I’m sure they are watching from up there.”

“Is there something you want to do? Now that you can use your legs again.” He asks curiously.

Lips touch his ear and Woohyun nibbles on it. “There’s indeed something I’ve always wanted to do.”

His mouth wanders lower and he drops wet kisses along Sunggyu’s neck. The older man smiles and turns around in Woohyun’s arms. Sunggyu puts his arms around his neck. “I think you’ll have to wait for that a little longer.”

Woohyun pouts. “But Gyu~”

He hits the younger man’s chest. “How old are you again? We have all the time in the world, Woohyun. I promise you can top me as much as you want after you recover.”

Woohyun gives him a short kiss. “How about you promise me instead that I’ll never bottom again?”

Sunggyu huffs. “Definitely not. Did they damage your head during the operation? Or perhaps enlarge your ? Because the last time I checked-“

The younger man shuts him up with his lips and pulls their bodies together.

After years of hurt, Sunggyu thinks, they deserve to be happy.