"Shoot," Hoya says when the barrel is aimed straight at his heart. "You'll be doing us both a favor." 

The grip on the gun loosens ever so slightly and Hoya doesn't miss it; after all, he was trained for it. 

"Don't," the other says and Hoya's heart skips a beat. His hands are sweaty and all of a sudden, he feels so small in front of the other. 

The other lowers his gun and there's a sadness in his eyes but Hoya refuses to acknowledge it; instead, with what's left of his confidence, he reaches out. 

Their lips melt together the same way it did years ago and Hoya acts as if the badges piercing his skin isn't there along with the mark that brands him. 

"Don't be nervous," Dongwoo says. "We'll get picked for sure; we were born for this." 

Dongwoo's little hand reaches out and their nervous sweat meets in between the tight grips. 

It would have been impossible for Dongwoo not to get picked, but Howon's story was different. 

He was sheer luck, just a number to meet the required amount: 7th compared to Dongwoo's 2nd. 

Their kiss breaks as fast as it started and the hand on Hoya's skin begs for more. 

Hoya turns and scales the wall that separates their world. 

"Be careful," he hears "It might not be me you run into next time." 

He ignores it when he's at the top of the edge and the other is nothing but miniscule. 

"What bull," he says because he knows the other's quarters by heart and every time he's been there, it was just the two of them. 

"You're so good at this," Dongwoo says when they're beyond worn out and Howon's a rank higher than him. 

"Nah," the other says. What he doesn't know is that if Hoya didn't work as hard as he did, he would have been abandoned long ago. 

"Hoya, let's do this." 

"Do what? Work?" 

"No, I mean when we're older and when we're captains. Let's do this together. Let's maintain our utopia. We'll train the new recruits and give out orders and just like this, we'll work out late at night when it's curfew and we're suppose to be in bed," Dongwoo rambles in his daydream and there's a little twinkle in his eyes that etches itself somewhere at the bottom of Hoya's heart. 

"That's a big dream Dongwoo, we're not even close to captains yet." 

"Yeah?" he answers, "but you know, it doesn't seem so big if it's with you." 

"What's this?" Sunggyu asks when there's a pile of food on their table. 

"Food," Hoya answers, "Can't you tell?"

"Yeah, I can. Where? Where did these come from?"

"Does that matter? I got us food hyung. Food that all of us have been starving weeks for!"

"It matters," Sunggyu says and he forces his anger down with his head is hung low along with a heavy heart. "You went over the wall again didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did. So what?" Hoya shrugs as if it's the most obvious thing to do. To him, it was, especially when he knows who's on the other side. 

Sunggyu knows from experience what going over the wall was like. He's done it ever since he's first laid eyes on it and there's a bullet scar just milliliters above his heart to prove it. "You're just asking for a funeral aren't you?"

Anger boils in Hoya at the accusation because he knows what's implied.

He's going to kill you. 

He knows it's so stupid of him to earnestly trust the other with his life every time he's inside the wall, but rather he sees it as final death wish. 

To die by the hands of the one you love. 

"I heard they're having a clean out," Dongwoo says when they're four floors up in the library. 

There's a bitter smile plastered onto Howon's face when he turns and faces the other. "That's good. It's about time they get rid of those who don't belong. They're being sent outside the wall right?"

There is a feeling of absolute fear that bubbling inside Dongwoo and it's like they were kids again, waiting for their names to be called. It wasn't the fear that his name won't be called. It's the fear that his name will be called without Howon's.  

"Howon," Dongwoo says. "This isn't right." 

Howon pauses his reading at that. "What do you mean it isn't right? We live in a utopia hyung. We are perfect. We earned this. Their world, outside that wall, it's their punishment. They're worthless, that's why they're out there." 

"But-" There are so many things Dongwoo wants to say. To tell him to be careful, don't get caught or even if the other wants, they can leave everything behind and run away. He doesn't though. He knows that where they are now is where they can't turn back from. Dongwoo knows what the other think he doesn't so he doesn't say anything. 

"Don't." Howon stops him. "Don't talk about this anymore. If anyone else hears you, you'll be cleaned out too." 

It's been three months since he's been over the wall. He knows that the other is waiting for him, or at least he hopes so. Hoya's brain is on automatic when he assembles the gun he just took apart. It's a memoir left with a single bullet. 

"I think this is the longest you've been without going over," Sunggyu says when he pulls himself up a chair.

"Yeah?" The gun in Hoya's hand is ready at a trigger pull. It's been three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, seven minutes, and twenty seconds, but who needs to know. 

"I...apologize," Sunggyu finally says when the cold breeze of December seeps through the crack of the hideout like an awkward silence. 

Hoya pauses for a moment because Sunggyu doesn't apologize. He's been their leader since day one of the revolution and there's always a reason for his actions, but not an apology. 

"It's fine," He puts the gun down and there's a little glimmer from where there's an engraved J.D. "You're probably right. I could have lead them back to the hideout. I could have us all killed." 

"No, I was afraid. Afraid that the same thing that happened to me would happen to you." 

"He's not like that hyung." 

"That's what I had thought too, Howon." 

Dongwoo's eyes opened when the door to their room slammed opened at the mid of night. Armed guards forced their way in and Dongwoo raises his hands like it's standard procedure. 

In the dark of the room, all he can see are the red lasers aimed at his heart and he doesn't register danger until he hears a, "Lee Howon, convicted under section 77: child born to an outsider." 

"Oh God, Howon!'" Dongwoo scampers down from his top bunk and he finds Howon standing like a statue, frozen in a cover of his own sweat of fear. 

Somewhere in the background there are voices yelling at the pair but the room is suddenly spinning and it was just the two of them. Dongwoo knew this was bound to happen, sooner or later. The system never makes an error on cleaning day. 

Dongwoo moves himself so that he becomes an intermediate between triggered ready firearms and the wanted. He reaches up and grabs the cold metal under his pillow and shoves it in Howon's hand. 

Dongwoo gets Howon's attention when he says, "take me." There's a look of disbelieve in his eyes mixed with fear but in just a fleeing moment, Dongwoo sees a sparkle of trust. 

When Howon has an arm around his neck and the cold barrel touches his temple, Dongwoo never felt safer. 

"I trust you." 

"Be careful Hoya. We'll be right outside the wall if you need us." Sunggyu hands over the earpiece, hand full of nervous anticipation. "Listen, I know I'm being a hypocrite for asking you to go over again but-"

"No," Hoya tucks the earpiece in and readjusts his rope. "I knew we're out of supplies a couple of days ago and even if you didn't ask, I would have gone over anyway." 

"Thanks."

Scaling the wall comes easier to him than sleep. His heartbeat is too many seconds too fast when he's near the top. Hoya looks over and the same scene from so many months ago appears before him. 

Through the second floor window, Hoya sees a familiar back. It's a back with a scar that he gave the other when they were young and reckless during practice. After coming down from the wall, Hoya climbs up a tree that leads him directly to the second floor's window. He pauses, heart thumping in his ears. 

"You can come in you know," The other on the bed turns towards him and in the pale moonlight, Hoya sees an aged and tired face looking back at him. "I don't keep company at night." 

Hoya pushes the windows open and climbs in. "That doesn't settle me. Do you keep company during the day then?" Hoya goes over to the bed and sits himself on it, fingertips barely touching fingertips on the satin sheets. 

"It depends," Hoya can feel the other's blunt nails just barely scraping at his. 

"On?" Hoya reaches over and pushes the other's untamed strains of hair out of his face. It's been years since he last saw the other like this, so unkept, so vunerable, and so human. 

The other smiles a little as he looks down and his hands are together fidgiting. "On whether or not you're in danger." 

"Hyung. Dongwoo." 

"God Howon, I'm sorry. I've been keeping track of you ever since you left and...and...he found out." Dongwoo's tears became endless and he stutters on, "This is the only to keep you safe cause they were going to gas your sector. It's the last sector Howon. Last sector before total conquest." 

Howon gathers Dongwoo into his arms like he did many years ago and kisses him. "Don't be sorry. I should be sorry. If only I had time, if only we had time. I would make it up to you."

Seconds trickle by and Hoya could hear Sunggyu's impatience through his earpiece and the urgency to get in and out is back again. 

"I have the supplies ready," Dongwoo says with a little smile when he hears the muffled nagging of the earpiece. "I've been waiting these past months." 

Hoya squeezes Dongwoo's hands one last time. "Hyung, I promised. I'll make it up to you." 

Bit by bit, they were quick with the supplies. It was all moved over the wall to a waiting Sunggyu on the other side. It left only Hoya on the inner wall, the last item to go over.

"We're done on this side. Ready to go?" Sunggyu's voice resounds. 

"Just one second more and I'll be right over," 

"Hurry," he hears. "There's not much time before they know that we're here."

"Howon, please be safe." Dongwoo says when he clips the rope on Hoya's belt. 

Hoya hugs him one last time, hands shaking and heart breaking. 

"I love you," he says. "I should have said it sooner. I love you. I love you." 

He leans in and kisses Dongwoo like there's no tomorrow, but for them, there is no tomorrow. There was never a yesterday and never a tomorrow, so they hold on to what they have now, a moment of a second. 

Hoya freezes when there's a click of a gun and it's metal touches his temple. His arms around Dongwoo tightens. 

"Lee Howon, or should I say Hoya now. Still alive I see." The same familiar voice brings him back to that night many years ago, but with a gun aimed at his head instead of Dongwoo's. 

Dongwoo shakes in his arms when the same voice commands him to let go of Dongwoo. He doesn't. He doesn't when he feels Dongwoo's grip on him tightens and he's missed to many chances with Dongwoo to let him go this time. 

Hoya hears a questioning and worried Sunggyu through his earpiece but drowns it out when there's a click of a trigger. 

"Dongwoo, let go of him and come back." It says again. 

Dongwoo makes an attempt to remove himself from Hoya and that's when Hoya cracks. 

Hoya shoves Dongwoo aside and aims for the gun, his left hand reaching for the hand with the gun while he tries to tackle the other down. Somewhere in the mist of their struggle, a gunshot resounds in the empty air and the gun falls down aimlessly out of reach. 

He turns and he sees a Dongwoo holding a hand millimeters above his heart trying to stop the flow of scarlet tears. "Howon, go." 

With a moment's distraction, Hoya receives a punch to the face and is thrown back on his back. The other stands and hovers above him, ready to end what he's started. It was then with an indecisive thought that Hoya pulls out his own gun and aims with his one last bullet. 

 When the other falls with a see through body, Hoya tosses the gun away and turns to a breathless Dongwoo. 

"You need to go," Dongwoo says, each breath faltering one after another. "If he's here then the rest should show up soon." 

Hoya gathers Dongwoo in his arms, "No hyung. I'm taking you with me, to outside the wall. It's not great, you won't have your money, your servants, and you won't have your status anymore, but you'll have me. If you don't want to work then you don't have to. I will, I'll make you happy. I love you Dongwoo, don't forget." 

Dongwoo smiles that smile that Hoya's missed so much and whispers, "I love you too." 

Hoya hoists Dongwoo over his shoulder and climbs. With each step, Dongwoo's breathing slows down and Hoya's shirt becomes an ugly shade of red. Dongwoo's grip on his shoulder loosens and he fears for the worst but continues with a hopeful heart. 

When he reaches the top, Hoya stops. He holds the other tight in his arms and there's a wave of peace and calmness that washes over Dongwoo's face, but he doesn't return Hoya's embrace. 

Sunggyu's calling for them when he sees them at the top, but Hoya feels nothing except for a void and there's a loving bitterness and regret streaming down his face. He holds the other even closer in fear that the actual physical body might leave him too. 

"Hoya,"

He holds the other tight and loosens the clip attaching his belt to the rope. 

"Howon, no!" 

He stands with the other in his arms and suddenly heaven is right in their reach.