For hotterthanasummer

From: Secret Santa

Prompt: “The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it." (T.H. White, The Once and Future King)

Pairing: Woogyu

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Kim Sunggyu has never felt how it feels to have a father. Sunggyu’s mother told him that the man passed away when the boy was only five months old. He has seen how the figure looked like when he was still alive, but Sunggyu has never heard his voice, or how it feels to be lifted with the strong arms of a dad and pretends like he is flying. Whenever the boy asks about him to his mom, she would say that his father was a brave, wise and honored man. She would go with the train of nice compliments and Sunggyu believes that his father was a man to be proud of, a man with pride and probably, his father died because of something good he did like in those movies the boy has watched.

 

Growing up without the figure of a dad, Sunggyu really cherishes his mom. His mom who has never complained even though she has to take care of Sunggyu all by herself, who makes Sunggyu’s favorite sandwich every morning before he goes to school, who stays up late just to do the clothes of their neighbors because that is one of a few more works she does to keep them both live. Sunggyu doesn’t come from a rich family after all, though he has never met the family from his mother and father which he questions so much but the woman always refuses to tell him.

 

Year after year passes and Sunggyu is now majoring in music, getting a scholarship from the best university in town. Fortunately, his mother shares the same passion in music as much as his son. There is this old piano where the woman has kept since she was still a 15 years old girl. Sunggyu remembers that the one who taught him how to use the piano was his own mother only. She also taught him notes and those music stuffs Sunggyu actually studies at college.

 

His mother isn’t exactly a hero, or the one who built Eiffel, or the first person to speaks up against apartheid, but for Sunggyu himself, she is special and even after years, Sunggyu still thinks that she is the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen. She comes first before the models in fashion shows, or the students with long, straight black hair and pale skin and curvy, yet fit body, or the female singers Sunggyu sees in music shows who looks like they only drink water in a day.

 

 

“An orphanage?” The hazel haired son nods, feeling all the bubbly feeling boils inside him and Sunggyu’s mother laughs at the excited face of her son. “I think it’s a pretty good idea, but you know we don’t have the best financial condition, Gyu.” The smile turns into a frown on Sunggyu’s face, but he doesn’t give up yet. “But, umma! I’ve saved money since forever and I think it’ll be enough for a few months? Beside, I’m performing on some cafes, remember? I earn quite a lot of money now.” The lady purses her lips for a bit, then she continues to smile and Sunggyu does too, after she nods her head and mutters a soft ‘i think it’s okay’ but loud enough for the son to hear.

 

Sunggyu gathers some homeless children inside his lovely, not so big house. They’re, of course, happy that now they have a place to live, and two people who can take care of them. Sunggyu knows his mom loves children, and he also realizes that as he grows up, his son can’t always be beside her all the time so to make her feel less lonely, Sunggyu makes this orphanage. The orphanage later becomes a big success. Rather than searching for homeless kids, they are starting to have parents who want to put their child in and pay in a big amount of money. Sunggyu, refuses at first (because how can parents abandon their child like that?), but after his mother comforts him and say that he should see the world from different perceptions, Sunggyu agrees.

 

There are parents who give out their child who has their own blood because different kind of reasons - because they simply don’t want one, because they come from a rich, prideful family who doesn’t want her daughter to get impregnated by a man who is not her husband, because of financial problems, etc etc. Sunggyu still feels a slight disgust towards those people who refuse to take care of their own bloodline, nevertheless. And he has to bear with the sad faces of children who at first, expects their parents to come back. At those times when they first come in, they often keep an eye on the door, where their parents might come with a balloon on their hand and they can come ‘home’ with them just like the old days.

 

But no, they never do even after months, and the hurt souls of children decide to give up and listen to the lies of ‘they will come here soon’ before they sleep when they ask about their parents whereabouts. Sunggyu truthfully understands how it feel (well, kind of.) and he tries to keep the children accompanied to distract their mind from thinking about their parents.

 

 

“Are you sure?” Sunggyu twitches his eyebrows and the man in front of him who introduces himself as Nam Woohyun, nods with a sheepish grin on his face. “I mean, sure, we need a hand to take care of this orphanage, but without getting paid..” he bites his lower lips, and looks at Woohyun with an unsure gaze but Woohyun stays still. “I just need a place to live - a room. I promise I won’t waste your foods and groceries and also, water. How’s that?” They look at each other, and there are some moments trapped between the space before Sunggyu agrees and mumbles a low ‘okay.’

 

There are some things Sunggyu knows about Woohyun. 1) He keeps his promise, since he mostly refuses to eat inside and would rather choose to spend his money to buy meals except when Sunggyu’s mother forces him to. 2) He loves children and children love him. 3) He is really greasy. 4) He loves doing aegyo and 5) Sunggyu feels really comfortable being around him. Probably because Sunggyu has never had a sibling, someone to share his own thoughts with beside his mom, and since Woohyun is now living with him, the brunette is Sunggyu’s new (and first) target to throw his complains and nag at about everything that annoys him in his life. Sunggyu also knows that Woohyun is 2 years younger than him, but he doesn’t study in college because he can’t afford the fee. That’s why the man works in a bakery where he gets morning and afternoon shift.

 

 

“Happy birthday, Jihyunnie!” The children cheers after the little girl on her red dress blows the last candle on her chocolate cake. Woohyun, who is wrapping his strong arms around her small body, kisses her cheek in a soft manner and asks, “Have you made your wish? They will come true, you know!” Sunggyu chuckles at him, before then slicing the cake into pieces for the children to eat. He knows that Woohyun himself knows well that candle wishes, shooting star wishes, and 11:11 wishes don’t always come true. They are probably just lies made up from the ancestors to make birthdays, shooting stars and 11:11 more meaningful. Jihyun with her innocent face, nods, and shows off her smile even though two of her front teeth are gone already.

 

After the little celebration, they all get back to their works. Sunggyu handling the children with Woohyun, while Sunggyu’s mom is out to work. It’s an ordinary day except seeing Jihyun not on her usual spot, the corner, with stack of children books. Sunggyu, who notices the weird event, goes up to search for the little girl who he eventually finds sitting on the stairs, while her eyes are locked on the front door. Sunggyu decides to come up to her even though he might know what she is thinking right now. “Jihyun-ah,” Sunggyu calls softly, and takes a seat beside her. “What are you doing here?” She turns her head to look at Sunggyu, and she shakes her head softly with a small smile. “Nothing..” Jihyun mumbles. “I’m just waiting.. For my wish to come true.” He understands what the girl means. Of course, one of the wishes of the orphans are having parents, even though they are not the real one.

 

 

 

 The sky is turning red when everyone starts to gather in the living room, waiting for delicious cupcakes made by Mrs. Kim herself. The orphanage is going to be closed soon and there are already three children who need to leave their temporary home, and unfortunately, Jihyun is not included.

 

Woohyun catches the sight of Jihyun sitting on the corner of the room with her huge teddy bear given by him and Sunggyu for her birthday. He elbows his hyung to pay attention to the little girl and the other immediately understands. They both take an initiative to approach the girl and crouch down near her. Jihyun, who realizes this, looks up to stare at the two men who she has already considered as brothers. “Jihyun-ah, are you okay?” Sunggyu gives her a small smile and Woohyun seems to reach out to caress her hair. “You seem upset, Jihyunnie. Mind telling oppa?” The younger of the two males asks, and Jihyun needs to bite her lips at first before she speaks up, “Jihyunnie’s wish won’t come true.. Jihyunnie wants to have parents but people who came today didn’t choose Jihyunnie.” mumbled Jihyun softly.

 

Woohyun pouts a little, but continues to comfort her. “Maybe Jihyunnie’s parents are going to come tomorrow. Don’t lose your hope!” The huge smile on Woohyun’s face doesn’t help though, and Sunggyu notices that maybe the little girl wants to have parents figure today on her birthday. So Sunggyu gets up and goes to his mom, and they talk for awhile as Woohyun and Jihyun look at them. The woman sighs and pats her son on the shoulder before nodding, and Sunggyu goes back with a happy face on his chubby features. “Jihyunnie wants to have parents now, right?” she looks at Sunggyu with her round eyes and nods. It makes Sunggyu chuckle and he pinches the girl’s cheek. “Well, then! Congratulations! Jihyun now has parents now!”

 

Woohyun and Jihyun pouts simultaneously. “Where? Jihyunnie can’t see them..” Sunggyu leans down to kiss her forehead and he smiles fondly. “From now on, Gyu oppa will be the one taking care of Jihyunnie, okay? Even until Oppa has wrinkles and white hairs.” hearing that, Jihyun’s eyes widened and an enormous smile is formed on her lips. In a blink of eye, she has thrown her body onto Sunggyu and they both laugh wholeheartedly. Woohyun chuckles and decides to lie on the floor with them, and he carefully asks, “Can Woohyun Oppa be Jihyun’s parents too? Along with Sunggyu oppa, I mean, appa..” Sunggyu looks at Woohyun and he receives a cheeky smile on the younger’s face, which Sunggyu blushes at and he has to turn his face to the other side. Jihyun herself, doesn’t need to answer with words as she wraps her little arms around both Sunggyu and Woohyun, delighted after she finds out that she has parents now.

 

 

 

It’s around November when Sunggyu’s mother faints in the kitchen.

 

Sunggyu who is in college that time pulls up his motorbike to the hospital as soon as Woohyun tells him that his mother is in the E.R. When he arrives there, he can see his mother lying weakly on the mattress with pale lips and skin. He knows that his mother hasn’t feeling well lately, but he didn’t think it would be like this. Woohyun is sitting next to her and he looks like he has just cried by the red eyes of the younger. Sunggyu draws his legs towards the two, and Woohyun instantly pulls himself into the latter’s embrace when he sees the presence. Sunggyu brings his hand up to rub the younger’s back, hugging him closer and tighter than the previous hugs they do. “The doctor said she had a heart attack.” Woohyun whispers. “I’m sorry, Gyu.. I couldn’t protect her even when I’m around..” He starts to sob again and Sunggyu repeats those ‘its okay its not your fault don’t cry’ until Woohyun calms down.

 

They sit next to each other even after Mrs. Kim is brought into a room that will be hers for a while. She needs to stay in the hospital for treatments and more check-ups. Sunggyu skips the rest of his classes in that day and Woohyun stays beside him. The woman hasn’t gained consciousness yet and Sunggyu doesn’t know what to think anymore. He has been feeling like life is on his side recently but then this happens. It and Sunggyu hates feeling disappointed. Who doesn’t, anyway?

 

After a couple of minutes, Woohyun stands up. “Do you want to eat anything, Gyu? I’m going to go outside a bit and also check the orphanage.. Maybe lending some help to Key and Jonghyun.” Sunggyu shakes his head nonchalantly and it truthfully breaks Woohyun’s heart to see his bestfriend (or more?) like this. Usually the older has those bright eyes and bright smiles on his face and he sings when he is happy which is a lot, and he won’t stop talking and nagging or even playing poke-fun at Woohyun. And the younger may or may not have fallen in love with him.

 

He is going to leave the room when he hears a low sobbing coming from Sunggyu and his chest clenches in pain. He turns his way and decides to circle his arms around Sunggyu’s neck from behind instead, lowing his head to bury them on the crook of the older’s neck. The act makes Sunggyu’s sob gets louder and he turns his body to embrace Woohyun again. “Gyu.. Everything is going to be alright, okay?” the younger one whispers to his hyung’s ear and Sunggyu tightens his hug, staying inside the warmth of Woohyun until he falls asleep eventually.

 

 

 

A few days afterward, Sunggyu’s mother wakes up. Her skin is rough and pale, and when Sunggyu touches it, it’s cold as ice. Despite the state she currently in, Mrs. Kim forms a small smile on her lips. When she first opens her eyes, Sunggyu is looking at his mother with eyes filled with tears and Woohyun is behind him, hands on the older’s shoulders. The first smile she shows them after she wakes up, shows her wrinkles on her face and Sunggyu’s heart aches at how he realizes that she is already old, and perhaps, old enough to leave her only son behind.

 

She is not able to talk yet, but the doctor tells Sunggyu that he is going to do his best to make his mother a little better, and if possible, make her able to go home again. Sunggyu sees the sadness and hopeless face of the doctor and he knows that something’s up, but decides to hold it in so it won’t make the situation even worse. Maybe.

 

 

“Gyu,” Woohyun opens the door slowly and Sunggyu wakes up from the sound of creaking door. He looks at the clock and notices that it’s 1 AM in the morning. The younger walks to the couch Sunggyu is lying on and he takes a seat, worries all over his face. “Sorry.. I woke you up.. I just wanted to check on you.” Sunggyu hums incoherently and his eyes falls close again, though now not completely asleep, He leans his head on Woohyun’s shoulder for comfort to the younger’s surprise, making him having to hold the squeal in. “Jihyun has been asking about you a lot... She keeps asking me where are you and why you-” suddenly, a low growl of stomach is heard and Woohyun stares at Sunggyu, eyes gaping wide. “Hyung, have you eaten?” Sunggyu forces his eyes to stay open and shakes his head, grinning sheepishly.

 

They both end up in a 24-hours fast food restaurant. Fortunately, the place is not far from the hospital. Woohyun sits in the opposite side of where Sunggyu sits, and from there he can see the tiredness on the other’s face. A freshly looked eyebags and puffy eyes has been made and Woohyun can’t help but to exhale a deep breath. “Hyung, Gyuhyung,” he calls, and Sunggyu stares at Woohyun in a blank stare. “Stop this.. Stop stressing over everything..” Sunggyu is a bit surprised at how soft Woohyun voice is, and his eyes are looking deeply at Sunggyu’s. Woohyun’s hand moves to hold Sunggyu’s and the older doesn’t refuse the skinship. “We’ll make it through together, alright?”

 

 

They straightly head up to the hospital after they’ve done eating. Sunggyu keeps thinking about the warmth inside his stomach and he says nothing after Woohyun holds his hand with a soft expression on his face. He has never felt this way before, and even though Sunggyu has had a couple of lovers before, the feeling is new to him. Once they both are in the room, Sunggyu feels the sleepiness takes over him immediately, and his eyelids start to close in a slow manner. When his eyes start to feel heavy, his head does too, which leads him to lean his head on Woohyun’s shoulder. “Hyung..” Woohyun pulls him closer as he whispers. “I’ll be there for you until the end, I promise..” He mumbles in a low voice. “I love you, Sunggyu hyung.”

 

Little does he know, Sunggyu is still awake.

 

 

One week before Christmas, Sunggyu’s mother exhales her last breath. It’s when the snow falls beautifully outside, not too thick and not too few - just perfect. Sunggyu and Woohyun are fortunately, there when Mrs. Kim gives them a smile as she says, “I’m glad I’ve taken care of my son well after all these times..” Sunggyu tears up in the next second and Woohyun looks at the figure of someone who has been such a mother to him for these past months. Mrs. Kim tells her son not to cry since he is a grown up man, but Sunggyu doesn’t obey. He only stops crying when his mother caresses the back of his hand, and that when she decides to sleep forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is only the sound of water flowing from the sink and it’s only 10 PM at night. Woohyun has put everyone to bed and now it only leaves him and Sunggyu in the kitchen, washing up all the dishes from Christmas dinner. Sunggyu has been really silent after his mother passed away, and Woohyun knows better than to force him to speak up. The older rarely smiles and even Jihyun has failed to bring up laughter to his voice. Woohyun stays silent, but when Sunggyu is about to head upstairs, he decides that probably he can try something.

 

“Hyung,” Woohyun calls out and Sunggyu stares at him still in deep silence. “Let’s go outside for a walk.”

 

 

 

Sunggyu stuffs his hands inside the pockets of his coat, and so does Woohyun. They have walked for 5 minutes yet no one dares to speak up. It’s not like Sunggyu isn’t comfortable, but he thinks Woohyun wants to talk about something since it’s not a habit for him to take a walk at night. “Dto you want to talk about something, Woohyun?” the older starts, and Woohyun doesn’t reply until a minute passes between them, and until Woohyun exhales an obviously formed breath. “No, I just wanted you.. To clear your mind.” He says softly. Sunggyu nods and they continue until the both males stop in a park, where no one is there but them.

 

Suddenly, Sunggyu hears a humming from Woohyun and he turns his head just to see Woohyun singing a couple of lyrics. “Look at the stars,” Sunggyu hears, and now the younger’s hand is reaching for Sunggyu’s, intertwining their fingers in a warm sparks. “Look how they shine for you,” Woohyun’s voice gets louder and now he is turning to face Sunggyu with an unreadable face. Sunggyu looks at him and he feels like crying for no reason. “And everything you do,” He leans close to Sunggyu’s face and their faces are only an inch in the next moment, Sunggyu bites his lips and he can feel Woohyun’s hot breath against his nose. “Yeah, they were all yellow.”

 

 

And they kiss. Sunggyu, surprisingly, is the one who leans first and press his lips on Woohyun’s one. Perhaps it’s because he can’t hold the tingling feeling anymore, or perhaps because Woohyun’s lips are too inviting and he needs warm and love and everything that is able to assure him that he is safe - so so much. Sunggyu doesn’t care though, all he thinks about is Woohyun tastes sweet and he tastes like heaven. He tastes like sweets and stars and everything Sunggyu likes combined in one. He finds warmth and safeness and loves and and-

 

“Gyu,” Woohyun pulls away slowly, but his lips are still very close. “Everything is going to be okay, I promised you right?” Sunggyu gulps and he nods, falling his head down and buries it on the crook of Woohyun’s neck. “I love you,” he murmurs. “I’ll protect you.”

 

Sunggyu stays still and he thinks - that maybe everything is really going to be alright as long as Woohyun’s there. Woohyun has never left his side even though Sunggyu has never said anything about how he feels, about Woohyun and about everything he has done. Maybe he can learn - learn to understand, learn to let go, learn to know that everything is going to be alright just like what Woohyun tells him, learn to pull the people who love him closer and push everything that makes him sad aside.

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