"====="

"Oooh," Namjoo sounded as she flipped through the pictures of the resort on Ki Chan's phone. 

They were catching up on breakfast at the hospital cafeteria before their shifts started. Upon seeing him Namjoo had joined him at a table and was currently being introduced to what the resort looked like. As a special appeal it had been built near the shorelines of the ocean so that it could present to visitors a peaceful sceneric view; something to wake up to. 

It was a two story flat with a roof that had lights built into its inner sides for elegancy. When night arrived the resort would glow in the middle of the night as if it was a watch house. The building had been molded out of special pale grained rocks smoothed to the surface, almost as if it was meant to match the sandy area nearby. Large windows were paned across the outstretched building with a beautiful brown ramp along the side yard. A high growth of green trees surrounded the back yard of the resort to offer protection and an interest of nature. 

Ki Chan had explained to her that the very emptiness beside the resort was reserved for an extended building. His uncle was planning to enlarge the resort all the way around the ocean, but would continue with it the following year.

A large pale white kitchen had been completed inside and even the table and fridge had been set into place. There was also a screened two-door that led to the back yard of nature. Behind a white wall that served as a border to separate the kitchen from the living room were shelves for necessities. That completed the simple, but rich first floor tiled with shiny plates. Furniture would arrive before their trip down to Haenam, Ki Chan's uncle had promised him. 

To the left side of the kitchen was a shiny brown staircase with fresh shine. Another living area had been  deisgned to fulfill the space on the second floor. The bedrooms had been constructed up there as well. Four very large rooms for independency and privacy, still yet empty.  

Namjoo liked the appearance of the resort. It was simple, almost plain, but allowed for an air of high class elegance. Although it was a bit similar to her family's summer house she was excited for the trip. 

"What do you think?" He asked anxiously leaning over the table.

"I like it." 

"It's nice, isn't it?" Ki Chan asked with that bright, broad smile of his. "It's the perfect place for a vacation in the summer. There's a beach and there's nature. There's even a mart not too far from it." 

"Sounds like you can't wait," Namjoo commented handing the phone back.

"Of course," he smiled slipping the phone into his white jacket, "I'm pumped. Have you talked to Luhan yet? What did he say?"

"He's not sure," unable to make eye contact with Ki Chan she took a spoonful of her cereal instead. "Work, you know. He's unsure if he can take off." 

Actually, Namjoo hadn't spoken to Luhan since he'd kicked her out of his apartment...maybe his life. She wasn't sure if it was an argument they'd had or not or why he'd been angry with her at all. She'd thought about it all night when she went back home, but there was no resolute answer. Namjoo was definite that she hadn't done anything to anger him; she hadn't done anything at all. 

So what had triggered him to act that way?

Namjoo had thought for a mere minute that it could be because she'd mentioned the scent of a woman's perfume, but it was petty. Luhan wasn't that petty. Maybe it was because she'd spoken about being aware that he never really cared about her since the beginning and he was upset she'd read his motive. Yet again, that was childish. Then she was just left with a bunch of questions unanswered.  

She was sure at first that Luhan would call to apologize so that they could make up, but he never called her again. Slowly, like a creeping cat the worry started creeping into her mind that he was really booting her out of his life. She'd been honest when she said she sincerely wanted to be friends with him. Those little moments between them had been good memories to her. Plus, she was grateful he'd been with her after Kai left and when she found out about her father. 

For a while, he really felt like someone she could trust. And now this...

"I hope he can come," Ki Chan was being honest. 

Namjoo could only offer a smile. 

"Did Chae Yoon talk to you yet?" He asked. 

"No. I haven't heard from her." 

"Ah...I thought she would have told you. We'll be heading down first to check everything out. I thought to ask you, but I heard you work that day. You and Luhan can come together the day after. I'll make sure your rooms are prepared for you." 

It was a surprise to hear that the four of them weren't heading down to Haenam together. 

"You...and Chae Yoon are heading there first?" Namjoo repeated. 

Ki Chan smiled and nodded, "So tell Luhan that it's ok if he comes late. Chae Yoon and I will be waiting for you two." 

After they split up Namjoo slowly trudged toward the nurse's quarters gripping the phone sitting inside her pocket silently. There was a small urge to call Luhan and let him in on the news, but she was hesitant.   

"You think you're so smart? That you know me, don't you?"

"What are you going on about?" Namjoo asked.

"I...never wanted you around. You're right, I never wanted you to be a friend. I used you, so enough already. I used you to keep you around and you used me to fill up your pathetic emptiness."

Truth be told, those words had stung. Namjoo could still feel the very weight of those words in her heart. It made her feel small, incompetent, and of less value. So Luhan had thought her loneliness was a pathetic thing compared to all his suffering. 

Namjoo knew she probably never meant anything as a friend to him; nothing higher, nothing less. And when she thought about it she wanted to cry a little, but for some reason she still hoped those words had just come out without thinking. Luhan...would feel guilty, wouldn't he? He'd apologize to her later if not now. He wasn't that bad of a person. No matter what, she wouldn't be disappointed with him. He...was having a hard time after all. 

That evening when she got home, instead of finding something to eat she first headed toward her computer. The bright screen lit up her dim room before she started searching for travel tickets. She'd take the plane if it was an emergency case, but why when traveling around in South Korea in a car worked as well? 

Clicking on the page for bus rides Namjoo browsed the site for a while. She could make a reservation under her name...but for two or one? 

Her finger landed on the mouse to verify the number of passengers as she landed into thought. If she talked to Luhan again, would he take the time to listen to her? But what was the stage of their friendship? Did she...still really hope that he'd go? 

For some reason, Namjoo ended up waiting around a week. Every time she got a chance for her phone she'd hesitate. One time she clicked on Luhan's name and held it to her ear for a split second before quickly hanging up. She was still scared to talk to him. 

One night when she'd gone outside to sit and enjoy the night air she thought about how Luhan had come after her in the countryside accusing her of attempting suicide. The time they spent there were probably the best of memories she had of them together. It was one of the rarest moments where she'd seen him at his silliest.  

The candy he'd given her was half gone and she wanted another one from him. She wanted to purposely drive to see him and demand for another one. Even though she'd driven by his place several times after work and waited in the lot, she knew she couldn't do it. She didn't want to receive his rejection, but the memories made her grateful. How appreciative she'd been of him then. Namjoo had been happy she'd come across him...she was still happy that she'd gotten to know him. 

Pulling the phone out of her pocket she stared at the dark screen for a while before finally turning it on and looking through her contacts list. She eyed his name for a moment before finally pressing on his name and held the phone to her ear. While the phone rang she could feel anxiety pile up in her before he finally picked up. When he answered Namjoo felt her heart pick up at the sound of his voice. 

"H...hey," she started nervously before somehow finding the confidence in her voice, "I'm not sure why you're angry with me, but I just wanted to tell you; I got our tickets for Haenam. The bus will leave at four, so...so I'll wait for you at the terminal. If...if you don't show up, that's fine too." She laughed a little suddenly nervous again, "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know. I...I hope to see you then." 

Namjoo found herself waiting for a few seconds as if to await his reply, but when he didn't anything she pulled the phone down from her ear and hung up. With a sigh she got up to walk away, tucking the phone into her pocket. 

All she could do now was wait. 

"====="                       

The days had been boring, very boring; long and boring. Numerous evenings Luhan had spent hours just sitting in the kitchen with no appetite. Even though the delicious recipes in the cookbooks enticed him he couldn't bring himself to cook anything, so sometimes he just didn't eat at all. And so, his apartment became very empty once again. 

That was how it always was. Yet, even though he lived very quietly with his very empty mind his heart didn't want the same. It throbbed a little and he honestly had no desire to confront whatever it was that was weighing it. 

When he drank on the boring weekends he wondered if there was anything to do and if he should do something with someone, like everyone else. Hadn't he felt more lively lately? He'd thought the world was a bigger place when he'd stepped out that one day to the mall. Now what was this? He small world only consisted of his quiet apartment, desolate and tainted.  

When he woke up some mornings after drinking he thought he felt better, lighter and relieved. Actually, he'd thought about the few things Namjoo had re-introduced to him. The many little things to enjoy in life like laughter, familial love, the catch of a smile, and the presence of someone to enjoy. Even little things had lightened him up like sharing a meal and having a friend, but he had pushed it away.  

Luhan knew he'd been wrong for letting Chae Yoon get to him, but maybe, he thought, she was right too. He had wanted to see her again no matter what; even when he was angry. His frail heart had missed her constantly even when he had enjoyed moments with Namjoo. Yet, he had no courage to pick up the phone and apologize to Namjoo. Anyway, wasn't she rich with friends? Namjoo had so many people around her in contrast to him that would do anything for her. She'd be fine even without a small person like him. 

The thought went and came occasionally, but he obviously knew better. Without Namjoo, Chae Yoon would also never appear in front of him. The past few weeks without Namjoo hadn't brought to him Chae Yoon at all. Yet, he still couldn't figure out what exactly his motive was.  

So many times he'd spent minutes just browsing his apartment accompanied with the usual common silence. Namjoo had revived it to life, but it had died when he lashed out at her that evening. Maybe he'd thought she'd just waltz back to him stubbornly, but she hadn't. What exactly did he want with Namjoo? Was he really just using her company to destroy his lonely life without being aware of it?

It was true that he'd learned to enjoy being around her, but was there a reason for it?

And then she'd called...finally. Luhan had stared at his phone a few long seconds debating whether to take it or not. In the end, he'd been almost afraid that if he didn't take it everything would end there, so he'd answered. All that was left was his answer. Namjoo, like always, had taken the initiative he never could bring himself to. 

If he really went to Haenam, would he find his answer there? 

That morning of the trip he'd woken early, but just sat at the edge of his bed staring into space. It was, for some reason, a hard decision to make. He couldn't tell what Chae Yoon was up to. If he went, Namjoo might get harmed as Chae Yoon had warned. What role...did he want in all of this?  

The clock continued to tick, but he still hadn't moved. Still, he knew he would have to sort things out somehow.

“=====“

Namjoo felt herself turn every which way. Wherever she looked there were passengers all busy looking for their buses, buying tickets, exiting and entering from the doors. Part of her worried that she wouldn't be able to catch Luhan in this crowd. What if he couldn't find her?  

After a while she stared down at the two tickets she'd picked up earlier. Would she ride the bus down to Haenam solo?  

Pressing her lips together she looked around again. There was a child walking hand in hand with his mother and two women traveling together chatting quirkily as they passed. It seemed like everyone was traveling with a partner.  

The anxiety filled her up. She was getting more nervous that closer time got to departure. She could feel the strain in her heart as worry filled her up. It was almost a nauseous feeling that she resorting to clutching onto the tickets with even more force.  

"All passengers going to Haenam, Bus 104 is about to leave. Please be board your bus. All passengers..." the announcement overhead seemed to reverberate through her veins.

Namjoo could feel her pulse beating against her skull as she hurriedly looked around one more time. This time she gulped and readjusted her grasp on the tickets. Her heart sunk rapidly before she was hit with the realization that Luhan wouldn't be coming. He'd made his choice.

Swallowing, she reached for her duffel bag sitting on the floor and picked it up. This was it. She'd make some excuse that Luhan was caught up with work when she met Chae Yoon and Ki Chan.  

With one more glance around the terminal Namjoo began to turn, but for some reason felt her heart escalate up to . Quickly pivoting around she stared at the crowd parting in front of her and spotted Luhan standing in the midst of the crowd with his backpack. Their eyes caught each other's for a split second before he glanced toward the ground.

Finally, after waiting so anxiously they were finally seated next to each other on the bus, but strangely neither spoke to each other. Namjoo had felt happy upon seeing him again, but for some reason she felt discontent.

"====="

Luhan was going to sort his feelings. The sole purpose of going to Haenam was this. He was going to sort out his feelings. At the resort, he'd decide what exactly his and Namjoo's relationship was; if he wanted to be friends with her or not. If it turned out negative, then after coming back to Seoul he'd never see her again. Then maybe, he'd give Chae Yoon a chance again; sort things through with her. 

He was going to do just that.

About after four hours the bus stopped by a resting area. They got off quietly and first started for the cafeteria for lunch. Although they separated he somehow found Namjoo again. She was overlooking the menu that had also come to his mind. For a while he stood there uncomfortably, silently debating whether they should talk or not. Unlike him, Namjoo didn't seem to bother about it much. 

"She's taking so long," he heard Namjoo complain underneath her breath as she stared at the woman who was currently at the counter. 

A slight moment of shock passed through him when she suddenly turned to him, jumping back and forth from feet to feet, "I have to go to the bathroom. We only have ten minutes left, can you order some sweet potatoes for me? Here's my wallet, ok?"

Luhan felt her shove her wallet into his hands before darting off toward the bathrooms. For a few seconds he was perplexed before the woman finally completed her order and he was next. 

"Uh...can I get an order of sweet potatoes and some hotdogs?" He said. 

"That'll be three dollars, Sir."      

Luhan pulled some cash out of his pocket before stepping over to the side to wait for their food. The chatter continued around him and he watched customers come up for their orders. Namjoo hadn't yet returned either and he found himself staring at the wallet again. Suddenly, he felt silence drown out all the noise around him as he pried her wallet open and stared at the picture of her and Kai that she kept so dearly.