This wasn’t supposed to be happening, Namjoo told herself, when she later sat across from Luhan after cooking their meal. Her shirt was unexplainably sticking to her back because she was pathetically sweating.

“Is your eye making you uncomfortable?” Luhan asked. “Should I get an icepack for you?”

Shooting her head up abruptly Namjoo immediately shook her head, “No, no, no! I’m fine!”

Luhan stared at her in silence and Namjoo felt the atmosphere swirl into awkwardness. This was really unexpected. Namjoo had held herself with a cool head from the start, why was she suddenly doing this to herself now?

How embarrassing.

Biting her tongue she quickly stuffed . Suddenly she couldn’t wait to leave.

Even as she lay in bed that night clutching her blanket to her chest she could still feel it ramming against her ribcage. It was absurd.

She thought of the way Luhan had looked at her when he first woke up in the hospital and tried to hold her hand. The touch of his fingers…something about it was so heart pounding. He’d touched her hand and her hair.

Namjoo wanted to let out a loud shout of frustration. She couldn’t understand why all that was in her head now was that guy.

Tossing onto her side Namjoo mumbled to herself, “Go to sleep, go to sleep dammit! You have work early in the morning!”

But she only continued to build images of how Luhan had pulled her close in her head. They had been barely close enough to have a hug and even maybe…a kiss…

Finally letting out a shout Namjoo turned again and buried her head under her pillow.

“What’s with you? You look like a zombie today,” Bo Young commented pointing to her eye bags the next morning. “You’re gonna scare all the patients off.”

Namjoo was currently sitting at a chair in the office waiting for the time she’d start doing her round on the fourth floor. Leaning forward to bury her face into her hands she groaned.

“Something wrong? Your landlord’s kicking you out?” Bo Young asked.

“No way,” Namjoo waved her hand out.

As she straightened up she thought about having dinner with Luhan again.

“Hey,” Namjoo started, “do you think it’s possible to feel close to someone you’ve only just met?”

“What?” Bo Young asked slightly confused.

“Is it possible for someone to just start talking about all aspects of their life to you when you just met?”

“It must be a miracle that they feel close enough to do that,” Bo Young nodded as she stared at the ceiling light.

“Is it?”

“Of course!” Bo Young turned to her and even took to slapping her thigh. “Not anyone just starts talking like that. Who is he?”

Namjoo frowned up at her friend, “I never said it was a he.”

Laughing Bo Young reached over to pat Namjoo’s shoulder, “You can tell me. I’ll keep my lips shut.”

Shrugging her off Namjoo asked, “Not just anyone does that huh? But why would he do it? He says I’m like his mother.”

“Ooohh…” Bo Young uttered. “That means there’s zero chance of attraction there. You just got shot down.”

Namjoo released an exasperated gasp and raised her voice upset, “You don’t even know anything!”  

Getting up she stomped out of the room and stuck her hands in her pocket. When Namjoo got into the elevator she stared at her lone reflection slurred against the silver walls. In the end she let out a sigh wondering why she was even getting worked up over such a matter. It was stupid if she thought about it.

Just because her heart raced a little didn’t mean she liked him, right?

Yes, she definitely, definitely didn’t like him that way.

Even as she paced down the corridors she couldn’t help, but stop to stare at the room Luhan had stayed in. She felt her left foot head toward the door, but her left right grind her in spot telling her it was more important to focus on work. Hesitation brought her swerving from left to right before she finally walked toward the door. It suddenly felt as if she was reminiscing a beloved memory which as a matter of fact wasn’t even very important to her at all.

Sliding the door open Namjoo peeked into the room to find it empty.

And why, Namjoo wondered, did part of her feel meaninglessly disheartened by it.

The way she had traced the tape on his bandage only to feel his fingers try to hold onto her hand became even more vivid in her head. Namjoo couldn’t forget how their eyes had met for the first time.

The longer she stared at the empty bed draped in those hospital sheets that smelled like life and death Namjoo wondered why Luhan had done it. Was he more hurt over his mother or the girl who left him?

That was right; Bo Young was right. Luhan was more absorbed in his ex-lover than he would anyone else. It must have hurt a lot for him to resort to such tactic. Namjoo knew she wouldn’t be able to understand how gloomy he’d been. He must have been trapped in that dark room all by himself, unable to see the way out. How foggy it’d been in there and how the voices in his head had driven him insane.

It must have been awful.

And Namjoo wondered how much he’d cried by himself, indulging in alcohol hoping that it’d be medicine to his broken heart; the shards broken on the floor unable to be pieced back together. Would Luhan ever feel better?

That girl in his heart was probably irreplaceable.

Namjoo felt her heart go out to Luhan’s silent aching, yet for some reason she felt partly gloomy upon realizing this.

“Boo!” Someone shouted behind her.

Jumping in spot Namjoo turned around shocked by the surprise.

“What the heck?!” Namjoo muttered upon see Ki Chan.

He smiled playfully at her and stuck his hands into the pocket of his long white coat.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Nothing,” turning around she stepped out of the room. After a step or two she turned around to look at him, “Shouldn’t you be in your office. What are you doing around here?”

“I was headed there,” he told walking over.

She let out a short shout when he flicked her head with his fingers.

“Ow! What’s that for?”

“For dozing off while you’re at work.” He answered before brightly smiling.

Rubbing her head she frowned at him.

“Lunch, tomorrow?” He asked.

“I have afternoon shift,” Namjoo told.

“Then you’ll be free in the evening?”

“Well…” Namjoo allowed her voice to drone on.

Would she make time to cook a meal for Luhan in the evening? Or did it really matter at all?

After all, she didn’t really know him. He wouldn’t die if she took the evening off.

“Ok,” Namjoo nodded.

His phone beeped signaling that a message had come in.

“Since I’ve seen you, I’ll go now,” he rubbed her head before jogging off in the opposite direction.

Namjoo got off three hours later than her promised shift and the moment she arrived home she slept right away on the couch. Sleeping was like a hobby for her. Namjoo always loved sleeping since…she could remember.

She didn’t know how long she’d slept before the ringing of her phone frightened her awake. Forgetting where she was for a moment she slowly got up and rubbed her eyes with her hair falling all over her face. The marks from the patterned pillow she’d slept on had left stray patterns on the side of her face. In the silence her phone was still ringing.

Finally regaining consciousness she reached out for her phone to hear a somewhat frantic voice on the other end.

“I think I’m burning down my kitchen. I followed directions, how come it’s not turning out right?”

“What?” Namjoo questioned still drunk in her sleep state. “Who’s this?”

“Me! Your damn cookbook doesn’t work!” Namjoo stared bleakly into space before recognizing that it was Luhan.

Rubbing the back of her head she stood to her feet, “What’s happening? If your kitchen is burning you should call 911.”

“Are you going to come or not?” He made it sound as if she was someone who moved on his demand.

Namjoo was a little irritated at first because she’d just woken up and because he sounded angry at her. Without answering she hung up and sunk back into the couch. She knocked out for almost a minute before she woke up again and suddenly groaning in complaint got up.

The light from Luhan’s apartment was glowing amongst his neighbors’. Why he was still trying to make dinner at this hour was something she couldn’t understand.

Luhan opened the door for her immediately when she knocked and she quickly found herself sniffing burnt air. On his kitchen table was molted black something inside his pot. Namjoo didn’t quite know what she was looking at.

When she turned she found Luhan glancing at her. Without permission a flood of heat flushed through her and she quickly turned away. If she was blushing she didn’t want him to see.

“What’s with your face?” He asked a second later. “You have marks…”

“Oh…” Namjoo muttered before awkwardly laughing and raised a hand to cover her face. “I fell asleep. You know…it happens.”

He slightly frowned at her before turning his attention to the food, “I couldn’t do it. I told you I can’t cook.”

Namjoo heaved a heavy sigh, “What in the world is this anyway?”

Luhan’s eyes wavered from side to side as if he could avoid her question.

“Soup,” he replied after a long second.

Namjoo clamped her eyes shut in mere frustration. It was such a simple thing and even he couldn’t do it right. What was next? Was he going to burn pudding?

“You got the book and it didn’t work. You said it was a beginner’s guide, but it didn’t feel like it to me,” he complained. “So you make dinner. I’m hungry.”

A snort fell out from her lips, “No, I’m not making dinner. You’re going to make it and I’ll stand by and help.”

“No, that’s not going to work.” He shook his head.

“You know what they say, practice makes perfect. Scrub the pot clean and fill it with water, I’ll watch,” Namjoo demanded. “Do it now.”

For a while she watched him move back and forth unwillingly. The longer she watched him the longer she started to engrain his movements into her head. There was a set expression on his face between the motivation to do well and how he didn’t care at all. His eyebrows curved slightly and his eyes moved to and fro repeatedly just to assure himself that he was doing it correctly.

Catching herself she quickly turned away and pulled the cookbook closer. If he caught her staring she’d probably burn from embarrassment. Namjoo wanted to shake herself awake. With Luhan in front of her she felt like she was still in a dream state. She wished it’d end quickly so she could go sit in silence.

“Hey, are you listening?” He called out sounding impatient.

She listened to him sigh a little when her eyes rose up.

“How much salt do I put in?”

Getting up Namjoo went in search of his salt before he pointed to it for her.

“Just do an estimate according to how much you think you need,” Namjoo told, “then keep tasting and adding until you like it.”

Scooping up some salt she handed the spoon to him.

“Why don’t we just follow what the book says?”

“The book isn’t always right. Do you follow a manual on how to live every day?”

He shot her a stark frown, “What’s with you?”

“Nothing,” Namjoo muttered and shoved the spoon into his hand. “This is how mothers cook. You better learn it correctly.”

Luhan continued frowning at her before dropping the salt into the pot.

“Let it boil a bit,” Namjoo told as she walked back to the table suddenly wary of what Bo Young had said to her earlier in the day.

That mother comment from Luhan was all over her head. It was even carved into the depths of her brain cells. She was distinctively annoyed for some stupid reason. Thinking more about it made her even more dumbly upset.

“When are you taking me out? You said you were going to treat me.”

“Oh…” she started off quietly. “Well…when do you want to go?”

“Tomorrow,” he quickly stated. “I’m tired of all this cooking. I want a meal out, so I choose tomorrow. You’re buying me steak, right? I want steak.”

Namjoo stared up at him. There was a voice at the back of her mind telling her that it wasn’t possible. Ki Chan had asked for dinner tomorrow and because he asked first he should be first priority, yet tomorrow was really the only time she had free. Her weekend starting from Friday till Monday consisted of 10-12 hour shifts.

“Ok,” Namjoo replied without further thinking.

And as much as she felt guilty for turning Ki Chan down she immediately forgot about it the moment she saw Luhan walking into the restaurant the next day. Even though it was just the two of them Namjoo was excited. They were elsewhere other than his apartment for one thing and for another, they were both out in public.

Namjoo was aware it wasn’t a date, but she was still happy to be spending time with him outside. Things could get really interesting, she hoped.

“You wanted steak?” Namjoo asked browsing through the menu.

They were seated in the center of the restaurant with life buzzing around them. A round table draped in classic white table cloth separated them and their waiter was currently pouring them water from a fresh glass jug.

Namjoo had chosen a casual restaurant. It was a place she and Chae Yoon often went to eat and had easily become one of their favorites. The splendid menu had a variety of foods and there was even a bar inside they took to enjoying once in a while when they got together between their busy schedules.

“Namjoo!” Namjoo shot her head up upon hearing the voice.

From behind Luhan she could see Chae Yoon quickly hurrying toward her excitedly.

“What are you doing here? And you didn’t tell me!” Chae Yoon slapped her shoulder playfully.

“Oh…” Namjoo managed.

“Are you on a date?” Chae Yoon questioned before turning to look at Luhan.

When their eyes met they were very quiet for a very long time. The life around them buzzed loudly, but Namjoo wasn’t aware of what the problem really was. Instead she thought Chae Yoon was just shocked to see that she was really sitting with some other guy than Ki Chan.

“No way,” Namjoo denied. “Luhan, this is my friend Chae Yoon. Chae Yoon, Luhan. It’s not a date, trust me.”

But neither seemed to have heard her.

“Chae Yoon?” 

***Here we go! Who's first in line to start manipulating Namjoo? Lu or Chae Yoon?