Five hours seemed to have gone by with Namjoo’s back numb against the wall. The night only got darker as she looked around. The twinkling stars almost looked like they were waving at her from a distance, but there was no peace in it. Instead all she was conscious of was how heavy his head was on her shoulder and how he was weighing her down.

He cried for such a long hour earlier and when he’d suddenly gone quiet she wasn’t sure whether to deem him asleep or not.

“S…sir?” Namjoo questioned.

She received no reply, but felt him shift his head against her. Pressing her lips together she reached up to try and push him back, barely succeeding because he was such a dead weight. Her heart a little faster when he fell forward against her and moved his head closer to her neck as if snuggling with her.

Namjoo unexpectedly felt her blood rush and her heart beat even faster. She felt awkward, blank, surprised and shock all at once. The last thing she’d expected was to feel herself heat up for someone like this. At least she was certain that he was asleep.

Suddenly prying her emotions away she forcefully shoved him off, her hands clutching tightly onto his shoulders as his head lolled back.

“Sir?” Namjoo called out in an attempt to wake him. “Sir.”

She gently shook him hoping that he’d come to his senses. Luhan’s eyes thinly opened to glance at her, but closed again. Reaching her hand out on instinct to touch his forehead she realized that he was burning up.

Realizing that it was impossible to carry him to his bed she shook him awake again, “Sir…sir, you need to wake up. Just for a bit.”

Namjoo tried to get on her knees to heave him up and locked her arm around him for a better hold.

“Sir…” Namjoo tried once more. “Come on…cooperate with me for just a moment.”

His breathing bounced off her hair, but he at least stood for her and that was all he did. As soon as he stood he became deadweight against her again.

“Where’s your bedroom?” Namjoo asked a little breathlessly.

Luhan was so much heavier than she imagined. Namjoo thought he was pretty thin, but she’d thought wrong.

Unstably backing up she felt her legs tremble underneath their weight. Another and another unsteady step made her fear that she’d really lose balance and they would have to start from square one. She ended up gripping onto his shirt as she struggled the rest of the ten minutes in search of his bedroom.

It almost felt like an hour before she finally laid him down on his bed and propped his legs up onto the bed. Barely out of breath she leaned over to check on the bandage around his wrist. It was still secure, but would need a change. If he came to the hospital one of the nurses would do it for him, but it was alright as is.

Pulling the blanket up to tuck him in she rechecked his forehead and walked away. As she made her way into his homey yellow kitchen she almost tripped over the mess in his house four or five times. Everything was just all over the place! Namjoo felt like she was swimming through a dump.  

The search for some kind of towel took her almost another ten minutes before she resorted to one of the drying towels hanging off the handle of the oven. When she made it back to Luhan she wiped some of the steaming sweat off his face with cautious care. Not once did his eyes flicker open, but he slept as if he was dreaming a good dream. At the doorway she stared at the mess of his house and heaved a very deep breath somehow feeling flustered and frustrated.

How he’d lived like this was something she wouldn’t understand.  

Namjoo took too searching for a garbage bag and made her journey around his small apartment picking up after him. The amount of space available inside didn’t amount to the litter sitting around. It was just horrendous!!

A few of the cans fell over when she walked around and she discovered that Luhan hadn’t taken to finishing all of them. Namjoo moaned out of despair and set herself to cleaning the floors for another two hours. After that she went back to look in on him, wiped some more of his sweat, and started on some porridge for him. As she let that boil on his stove she finally took to gathering up his sweaty clothes and tossed them into his washing machine.

All of the housework she would have done for herself she actually did for someone else. Namjoo grumbled to herself about what she was really doing as she turned the stove off.

She should be resting at home, she reminded herself. There was a long day before her and the last thing she needed was to be dehydrated because of all the coffee she’d be drinking.

Drained she sat down on the ground and buried her head into the sofa. For a few minutes, she promised herself, she’d take a nap and then leave.

“=====”

Luhan finally awoke with a heavy feeling in his chest. As usual he wasn’t feeling very well. His body felt sticky and overheated from being covered by the blanket all night long. Tossing it off he sat up with his mind immediately spinning. A headache was roaring at the back of his head as if a nickel was stuck back there.

Grabbing his head he let out a disgruntled moan and slowly stood to his feet. The door to his bedroom was left open and he found it strange because he never slept with the door open. Luhan searched around his suddenly clean apartment wondered if anything had happened last night. All he could recall was grabbing a beer and drinking away.

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he stepped forward to further glance around. Two white bags of cans and empty cup noodles were stashed in them. Upon lifting his eyes up he saw a pot sitting on the stove. Walking over to it he discovered the porridge inside.

Luhan stared blankly at it and wondered how it was there. He wasn’t a good cook, he never cooked. Walking out of the kitchen finally gave him his answer.

A stranger, a woman was lying on the ground knocked out. Her short hair flailed out around her head, part of it sprawled over her face. Luhan couldn’t make out who she was, but he didn’t know any woman with short hair.

Did she just waltz into his apartment to clean up or something?

“Hey,” Luhan called out poking her back with his foot. “Excuse me, hey you.”

He poked her harder this time before her eyes opened. She seemed to peer around before immediately sitting up.

“,” he heard her mutter as her eyes went wide.

Grabbing the phone beside she peered at the time before swearing again and shot to her feet. When she spun around with her hair messily flailing around her she gasped upon sighting him. Her hand went up to her lips whether in embarrassment or in shock he couldn’t tell, but she seemed to chew on her nails nervously.

“You’re awake?” Namjoo greeted. “Is your fever gone?”

Ignoring her question he flatly asked, “Who are you?”

If she was a stranger, he wasn’t amused by her acting. She may look harmless, but he’d learned that innocent looking people weren’t so innocent. He wasn’t going to be tricked by some woman lying on his floor.

“Ah…I’m from the hospital…” she started then stopped mid-sentence. She stared at him before asking, “You don’t remember?”

Luhan narrowed his eyes at her.

She glanced at her phone again then grabbed a notepad out of her bag. As she scribbled something down she said, “I’m from Myung Woo Hospital. I came to check on you last night. You shouldn’t be drinking so much; it won’t be good for you in the long run, especially if you have health problems now. Your bandage is going to need change, so come in sometime. The hospital will also give you some for free. I’ve written down some medication to take for your fever since it looks like you don’t have any in your house…”

“Are you done?” Luhan cut her off, impatient with her blabbering.

The girl glanced up at him before kindly smiling. Tearing the sheet off from her notepad she handed it to him.

“My phone number is on the bottom, if you need anything just give me a call,” Namjoo told. “That number will direct you to the hospital too, so don’t worry about anything personal. Do take care of yourself.”

She shot him a last smile before walking by. When the door closed he turned around to stare at it and sat down on the couch. There were chills swarming up and down his arms telling him that he was cold.

Pulling his knees up to his chest he hugged himself. He was a person who rarely got sick and he always had company. Not once had he lived in such silence as he did for the past month. It had been awful, he despised it.

His girlfriend, his ex-girlfriend – Chae Yoon – was always there. The mere thought of it sent him spiraling into misery. His chest was even heavier now and the cold he’d just been feeling disappeared. He felt like he was wallowing in a pond; that even if it was knee-high he still couldn’t find his way out.

Luhan was just miserable. He’d withdrawn from everything, he wanted nothing now.

Getting up to his feet he climbed back into bed and curled up.

Luhan didn’t sleep as long as he wanted. His hungry stomach woke his senses up, but he still refused to eat. He wanted to starve and show Chae Yoon…he wanted to show her that it was her fault; it was her fault he’d become so thin and he’d make her take responsibility.

For a long time he lay in bed staring at the walls with his heart succumbing to intense pain. Luhan wanted to sob like a child, but he felt drained. His body felt numb to the spikes penetrating him from within. He was just so empty that he was as lifeless as a frog without water.

His whole body stung all over as if every shard of a broken glass had taken to slitting him apart; to make sure the pain was equalized. And he lay there for such a long time drowning within himself he wasn’t sure whether he was really awake or not. In his dreams even the demons came after him. Every day was a hell.

What hurt him most was that he couldn’t even look at her from afar. It hurt so much because he didn’t even know where she was now. He couldn’t even call her and listen to her voice. All he had was a dummy picture to remember how she looked like and that was the worst of it. He wanted Chae Yoon’s voice, but he couldn’t get it.

Luhan at least wanted to write her letters, but she was no longer at her residence. He still remembered going there late at night to be scolded by the new tenant. His Chae Yoon never did anything without telling him and he couldn’t recall how long he’d droned over that fact. Luhan knew he’d go to the end of the world for her and he was so damn sure that she loved him that much too.

Thinking about how they’d ended up sent him drowning into another puddle of tears. Luhan couldn’t give up, he just couldn’t forget her.

Pulling the pillow over his head he continued sobbing for a few minutes on end until he eventually fell asleep again.

“=====”

Namjoo moaned as she walked through the hospital doors. A shot of coffee, as she’d expected, wasn’t enough to wake her senses. She finally thought that she should have just left that patient alone and gone home to sleep. What a waste of time it had been.

“Tired?” A voice greeted. “You’re late today.”

Namjoo turned to see a doctor in a white uniform greet her as he joined her down the hall. Lee Ki Chan was her classmate in medical school. Although he was a few years older they’d graduated together from the school.

Namjoo pressed a hand up to her forehead with a clumsy smile, “Yea, I know. Don’t rub it in.”

“Slept on the wrong side of the bed?”

“More like I slept elsewhere.”

“Huh?”

Namjoo’s short chuckle turned into an excruciating groan. Shaking her head she answered, “Never mind. So what’s going on today?”

“I’m on break,” Ki Chan answered. “Hey,” he nudged her, “wanna get something to eat real quick?”

“I’ll get in trouble.”

“Come on, it’s on me,” he offered. “If they make a complaint I’ll say you were in a meeting with the doctor.”

Namjoo stared up at him and smirked before following him to the cafeteria.

As Namjoo swallowed her soup a few minutes later Ki Chan slid a pretty card with a purple ribbon at the top.

“What’s this?” She questioned staring at it.

“My sister’s getting married next month,” he told.

“Really!?”

He nodded, “I’m inviting you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t even really know her.”

“She wants you to come,” he smiled. “Why don’t you bring a few friends too? What about Chae Yoon?”

“Ah…I’ll talk to her about it,” Namjoo nodded.

“Then…you’re coming for sure,” he stated as if she’d promised.

“=====”

When Luhan woke up he felt even sicker than sick, if that made sense at all. It felt like there was literally a hole inches deep in his chest, like someone had stolen his heart. His sight was fuzzy and his brain was spinning from right to left then left to right. A sickly cough escaped him and he could still feel that there were tears on the corner of his eyes.

He stumbled to his feet crashing into the walls and the door as he made his way out of the bedroom. It almost felt like his legs could barely carry the weight of his body. Reaching his arm out he patted every surface he could feel before finally discovering the piece of paper that girl had handed him before leaving. It felt like someone was holding him underneath water and however much as he struggled he couldn’t get out.

It was like…he was dying…

Luhan squinted his eyes, but couldn’t make out any of the writing on the sheet. He couldn’t find her name either. He snorted after a minute when he realized there was no name on the sheet, but he at least could see the numbers written down.

As he leaned over the arm of the couch while his stomach itself he listened to the phone ring.

“Myung Woo Hospital, I’m Im Bo Young. How can I help you?” The chirpy voice greeted.

“Nurse…where’s the nurse that came here last night?” Luhan questioned hoarsely.

“Excuse me?”

“I said the nurse,” he slightly raised his voice. “She said she’d give me medicine. Where is she?”

There was a moment of awkward silence before the nurse asked in confusion, “May I ask who you are?”

Luhan felt like groaning, “Luhan, my name is Luhan. Where’s that woman?!”

“=====”

Namjoo was quietly strolling down the hallway toward the main office to turn in her worksheets before leaving for the day. She was only happy she had tomorrow off and she couldn’t wait to leave the hospital.

“Namjoo,” Bo Young called out from the customer service desk as she passed.

Pausing in her feet she turned.

“You made a night visit last night, right?”

Namjoo raised her brow before walking over, “I did. Why?”

She noticed that Bo Young was holding her hand over the receiver as she spoke.

“He’s asking for you. And he sounds angry. You didn’t do anything wrong, did you?”

Namjoo frowned even more before reaching for the phone, “Yes, Kim Namjoo speaking.”

“You said to call if I needed anything,” he sounded breathless from the other end of the line.

“Yes, is something wrong?”

“Since you stopped by last night, why don’t you come again tonight?” She listened to him take a few deep breaths. “I need you right now.”