"====="

"You're here!" Aunt Jin threw her arms around Namjoo excitedly when the door opened.

"Come in," her father called from the next room. "Your mother's been waiting for you."

Stepping inside Namjoo found herself examining the household. Everything was still the same - those walls, that family portrait free from dust, and those well kept carpets overlaying the floor as well as the glass bulbs overhead, but it felt different this time around. The air, the nostalgia, and the age in the house, they were off; unfamiliar. Something unexplainable about it had changed since the time she hadn't been home. Maybe it had to do with the way she had started perceiving the world; the way she was seeing herself with not just the people she knew, but those she'd grown up with. Perhaps it had to do with maturing and that, she was learning to accept and let go.

Home that had hurt her and where some of her most precious memories lay; this was where she'd first started. Namjoo had never truly appreciated what home was. This place had first taught her bitterness. Its cold exteriors still surrounded her even upon her return, never unchanging, but this place was home for her family. She would have to accept that this place was where her dreams of a long happy life with love were destroyed, yet where her family would dwell.

When she learned to take baby steps into the world again, everything would be better. She had for so long believed she was always her own support, but it was Kai who had always watered her roots; holding her back so she wouldn't fall. This time, she had fallen and would need to water her own roots; without Kai, without anyone.          

"You're finally home," Gil Jin started down the stairs. "Mom and dad have been worried over rats about you." 

Namjoo pulled on a smiled, "Hi Gil Jin." 

After Gil Jin Hee Jin started bounding down the stairs almost colliding into her. 

"Namjoo! Is Chae Yoon coming tonight too? I want to ask her for some tips about what to wear for a party." Hee Jin grabbed her arm. 

Her younger sisters had Kai's soft eyes. They were her very reminder of him.  

"You should call her," Namjoo suggested, "I don't really talk to her anymore." 

"What?" 

Pulling out of her hands Namjoo stepped forward to approach her dad. "Where's mom? I'd like to meet her before dinner."

"She's in the kitchen. Since you said you were coming she wanted to cook your favorite food herself," placing a hand at her back he led her down the hall. 

When Namjoo envisioned those fried noodles loved so much her stomach twisted up. 

In the brightly lit kitchen where her mother was currently busy at the stove along with the other maids, Namjoo watched silently. Would she one day look like her mother, standing in the kitchen preparing her child's favorite food? Namjoo expected to feel a warmth from the effort her mother was putting into making her dish. It was understandable that her mother wanted to please her heart and win back her favor; show her some love and sincerity.  

While watching Namjoo actually felt nothing. Her emotions had gone so stiff that she couldn't even summon an ounce of thankfulness. 

She lied. She wasn't ready to take this baby step.  

The loud clatter of tongs surprised her and watched her mother turn to see her. 

"Namjoo-ah!" She called out, her eyes crying in joy as she hurried toward the daughter who'd left with no intentions of return. 

When those arms wrapped around Namjoo's torso she just stood there like a mannequin, her feet glued in spot. Inside her heart, it still burned. The lie that had kept her from her father who she could have at least seen before his death...it burned very much. Namjoo couldn't let go of it.  

So many people wanted to keep her from being happy...

"I'm home." Namjoo said staring right past her father's smiling eyes into the wall; her heart surging with bitterness. 

"Come right this way," she heard Aunt Jin's voice nearing from down the hall. "Namjoo should have said you were coming. I was so shocked!" 

Aunt Jin's loud laugh roared before she eventually appeared at the doorway. Thanks to the interruption her mother's arms loosened from around her.      

"Namjoo," Aunt Jin seemed to whisper, "your friend is here." 

Her eyes shifted toward the doorway expecting to see Ki Chan, but her nerves ran cold when Luhan appeared. Immediately bowing he greeted her parents respectfully. 

The very sight made her grit her teeth subconsciously.  

"I thought you said Ki Chan was coming," Aunt Jin's eyes glowed with mischief. "You should've said something. I was expecting to have a nice chat with Ki Chan, but this fine young man will do too." 

"It's nice to have you," her mother generously smiled, "please make yourself at home. It's so nice to see that Namjoo has so many friends." 

Her parents smiled at her happily and Namjoo pulled on a smile of pretense before turning to look at Luhan; part of her wondering what the hell was going on. 

"====="

When he filed into the kitchen after Namjoo's family he immediately grabbed a random chair. Grabbing his arm Aunt Jin nodded toward the one beside Namjoo and smiled. 

"This one is Kai's," Aunt Jin told, "go sit down." 

Luhan glanced at the woman wondering if she was discreetly trying to stick him with Namjoo. Walking over to the empty chair beside Namjoo he quietly sat down. Namjoo made no particular movement in his presence; she didn't turn to look or talk to him even as homey chatter filled the room. He wasn't surprised that excluding everyone else she wasn't preparing to welcome him in her house.  

Aunt Jin who was now sitting in front of him smiled to catch his eyes and Luhan returned a nervous one. Could she possibly read the emotions splaying across his face; that he was anxious and nervous, but still wanted to be there with Namjoo?  

"By the way, is Ki Chan busy?" Her father questioned from the head of the table.   

"He probably is," Namjoo nodded her head while lifting a spoonful of the soup's broth to her lips, "he must be piled with work. He shouldn't have come." 

Luhan peered at her through the corner of his lids realizing Namjoo had been directing her words at him. He knew she must hate him even more for shamelessly showing up, but he had to. For a long fraction of the night he'd thought about Ki Chan's words and he was sure he could prove him wrong. As long as he knew the truth deep within that he never meant to hurt or use Namjoo, things would turn in his favor. He just had to keep working hard.     

No matter how many times Namjoo would drive him out, he would come back. 

"But why aren't you two talking?" Aunt Jin nosed in, eyeing the both of them.

"I don't like to talk while eating," Namjoo immediately replied as if to stop Luhan from doing it. 

Luhan felt his eyes dart over the food on the table. Namjoo wasn't going to go easy on him. 

"Namjoo, why don't you pass some of those stir fried noodles to Luhan?" Her mother suggested. 

Poking her tongue into her cheek to maintain patience Namjoo never let go of the utensils in her hands, "Aunt Jin's closest to it. She can do it." 

"Namjoo," her father called out with a hint of gentleness after a moment of silence. 

There was a distinct moment of awkward silence at the dinner table, but while everyone hesitated to eat only Namjoo comfortably continued to do so. She was fuming. Whether her mood had soured because of him or because of something else he wasn’t definite. However; Luhan could tell then, that she'd come home with a purpose; not because she wanted to. 

Breaking the silence Gil Jin started, "I heard Kai called recently, Namjoo. Has he called you yet?" 

Luhan would have expected Namjoo to stop and look up at the mention of Kai's name, but she still continued to shove food into . The silence droned on and Namjoo finally set down the utensils. For a tense minute all she did was chew the plenty food in with all the seconds in the world. Then grabbing a cup of water she drained it, setting it back onto the table top. 

Her eyes stared straight into the wall without wavering all the while. How she could act so comfortably, yet hide and show her anger at the same time scared Luhan. She wasn't yielding in front of her family members.  

Namjoo was really reaching her end, just as Ki Chan had told him. 

Scooting her chair back she stood, "I have a long shift tomorrow, so I'd like to get some rest. Thanks, for dinner." 

Making her way around the chair she walked out of the dining hall. The moment she disappeared Hee Jin let out a loud gasp. 

"My god, what is wrong with her?" She asked completely baffled. 

"Mind your words." Her father scolded lightly. 

"Why? Did you see that?" Hee Jin fought. "Namjoo just completely ruined dinner! Mom, how could you let her? I told you she still hates you. Why did you even ask her over for dinner?!" 

"Hee Jin!" Kai's father scorned even louder and the girl immediately went quiet in her seat. 

Namjoo's mom barely lifted her eyes up as if embarrassed or perhaps injured by Namjoo's actions. Luhan felt partially apologetic. Showing up must have ruined most of Namjoo's night and seeing him must have reminded her more of how hurt she was. This family dinner could have passed by peacefully if he hadn't come.  

"I'm sorry about that," Aunt Jin caught his attention. "Some things have happened lately and Namjoo's not on good terms with her mother. I hope you understand. Please, continue eating." 

Luhan glanced into her face debating about what to do. At last, he also set down his utensils and stood. Namjoo's family raised their heads up to peer at him. He was sorry that he was next to ruin their night, but it wasn't right for him to stay and intrude.                        

"I'm sorry," Luhan apologized, "for ruining dinner. Seeing me must have upset Namjoo. I'm sorry for disrupting your family dinner." 

"No, it's all right, please sit back down," Kai's father sounded as kind as Kai himself when Luhan had spoken with him. 

"Please continue eating," Luhan nodded and turned to walk out slowly speeding down the hall then quickened his pace as he neared the doors. If he didn't catch Namjoo in time she would be gone by now. 

Flinging the door open he jumped over the steps and jogged down the long drive he'd once walked with Namjoo after watching her hug Kai. The extending road made it feel like he would never catch up to her in time.  

The dark sky created long shadows from the standing trees, darkening over him as he hurried by. They looked like claws crawling out of a nightmare threatening to swallow. The white shine from the moon sent its rays down onto the pavement before him as if to help him find his way. 

He stopped when he sighted Namjoo's lone back slowly making her way toward the oversized gate ahead. Without hesitating he rushed forward and grasped her arm. 

"Namjoo." 

Pausing in her steps she stared at the dark road without turning to him. He could see her eyes shimmering in the severe darkness, but she wasn't crying. 

"Get your hand off me," Namjoo growled under her breath. "It makes me want to puke." 

Luhan felt his lips part at her harsh words and slowly let go. The innocent Namjoo would have never spoken so distastefully.     

"Your family is worried," he tried. "Especially your mother." 

"Is my family suddenly now your business too? You want to intervene in their lives so you can act a little more?" Namjoo hissed. "Go ahead as I'm sure they'd love your show."

He reached out for her arm again when she took a step forward and immediately let go.  

"You don't have to be like this, do you?" He tried. "If you're angry at me, then just be angry at me."

He caught a smile lingering on her face before she turned to him, "Are you saying that my world suddenly revolves around you? You're so important, aren't you; to always bring yourself first. Some things just never change." 

Luhan stared into those deep black orbs of hers and for the longest time he couldn't see the light that once lit his world.  

"Do I look like I'm joking to you?" Namjoo questioned. "You still think I have something leftover for you to take?"  

"Namjoo...I know you're angry..."  

"Angry?" Namjoo repeated as if he'd just mocked her. "Angry doesn't even describe this." 

Her eyes suddenly flared for a second before returning to its calm.  

"You," she started, "like me a lot, don't you?"  

Luhan blinked and stared.  

"I'm sorry, for making you this way," Namjoo apologized, even sounded sincere about it.  

For a second, his heart crumbled under the weight of the calm on her face.  

"But I," she went on, "really don't feel anything for you anymore. I only have one request to ask of you. You can do that, can't you?"

Luhan felt his heart pick up its pace. There was a little hope growing flowers all over his bloody heart.

"Yes."  

Her lips slightly curved, but not wide enough for a smile.  

"Get," Namjoo began and enunciated each word slowly, "out of my life."

The night seemed to become dimmer in his sight; the back lights disappearing among the dark. Namjoo held eyes with him for a half minute and finally turned. He couldn't find the strength to lift his eyes up to watch her go, but as her footsteps became quieter among his ears he felt those shadows clinging onto him, slowly shredding him to bits. 

The very images of running along the beach with a cheerily laughing Namjoo; hugging her on his couch; holding her hand with while he drove; hugging her to sleep; kissing her on his veranda; stargazing together and even catching sight of a shooting star; and talking with her the very first thing in the morning flashed through his mind.     

The smallest things he wanted to do with her, like sharing a simple meal would no longer happen. All of it had been taken and just like that, and he hadn't been able to grasp any of it. Luhan bit his lip while he stood there staring down the extending pavement where Namjoo last stood in front of him. As the moon waned on he felt tears bitterly eat at his heart. 

"====="

When the phone started ringing Ki Chan wondered if he should bother to answer. The sound went off leaving him in silence before it started ringing again a second later. Finally closing the book in front of him shut he reached for the phone sitting on the corner of his desk and answered. 

"Come down." Namjoo demanded and immediately hung up. 

She was angry. 

Heaving a sigh he stood up and headed outside. Namjoo's car was parked along the curb and he stood there waiting for her to come out and yell at him. 

She didn't. 

His eyes glazed over the car and wondered if she hadn't seen him. Stepping forward he knocked on the tinted window, but Namjoo didn't scroll the window down.  

Confused about what it was she wanted he opened the door.  

"Get in." Namjoo ordered, her tone rigid, stiff, and out of patience.

Doing as told he got in and once he closed the door Namjoo immediately stepped on the accelerator.