“=====”

“Do you know what Namjoo’s been up to lately?” Chae Yoon questioned after Ki Chan sat down with his cup of coffee in café they’d met up at.

There was a heavy scent of fresh coffee coming from the back of the vintage café decorated with greenery and wild flowers. The low quiet talk going on around them circulated back and forth behind her.

Ki Chan, she thought, looked slightly like an actor. Why Namjoo didn’t like him, she couldn’t understand. It was obvious that he was crushing on her and looking at how blunt Namjoo was toward him made Chae Yoon frustrated.

“She’s busy with work,” Ki Chan answered, focused on his coffee before taking a sip of the hot liquid.

“Do you really think so?” Chae Yoon prodded him on.

Ki Chan raised his eyes up to glance at her before smiling freely, “Why? What’s the matter? Are you jealous you haven’t spent as much time with her?”

“Come on, Ki Chan,” Chae Yoon whined a little annoyed. “I just saw her a few days ago. Did you know there was a man at her house?”

She watched the smile free fall off his face expectantly and seeing it made her feel victorious. Finally she’d grabbed his damned attention.

“What?” He sounded shocked. “A man? Who?”

“That’s why you should start worrying,” Chae Yoon pressed on. “If you don’t grab her now you’re going to lose her to someone else. I’m not just saying this either, but Namjoo’s a pretty woman. Not just that, but she’s outgoing, she’s kind, she’s generous, she has a good job, and she has money. What kind of guy doesn’t like that?”

“I asked who he is,” Ki Chan deepened his voice for her attention. “He could just be a neighbor, some friend, or maybe a relative. Why jump so far to conclusions? Besides, Namjoo isn’t interested in seeing anyone right now.”

“No,” Chae Yoon argued. “Things change, things always change. They could be friends now, but a split second later they could start going out.”

Ki Chan merely just stared at her.

“Namjoo’s already right in front of your eyes, why are you still hesitating?”

“I’m waiting till she’s ready. I’m not going to force Namjoo into a relationship if she doesn’t want one,” Ki Chan said.

Chae Yoon opened to try again, but Ki Chan’s phone beeped cutting her off.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket he grabbed his coffee and stood, “A message came through. I have to go. Lets talk next time.”

Without waiting for her farewell he raced out the door leaving her to sigh helpless.

“=====”

After the next two and a half hours in the ER Ki Chan finally found himself free of emergencies. Upon spotting Namjoo drinking a cup of water in the hallway he thought about what Chae Yoon had told him earlier that afternoon. He couldn’t help, but be curious about who Namjoo had been with.

Ki Chan was a person who didn’t like being possessive obsessive, but he didn’t like losing either.

“What’s up?” He asked stopping beside her.

Namjoo glanced at him through the corner of her eye, set the cup down from , swallowed, and smiled. She was pretty, he thought, and had gotten even prettier ever since she started her job. Every time he saw her it felt like there was some kind of light glowing around her.

He really liked it when she was happy.

“I saw you earlier in the ER,” Namjoo told. “Good job.”

His heart felt so much lighter at the small comment and he beamed with a tranquil happiness that she’d noticed him.

“I met with Chae Yoon earlier.”

“You did?”

He nodded, “She told me about a man you brought to your place. Who is he?”

“Ah…” Namjoo didn’t seem very surprised so he guessed Chae Yoon hadn’t been lying either.

Maybe, he thought, he should start worrying about someone taking Namjoo away from him.

“He’s a friend.”

Friend…

It bothered him about what Chae Yoon had warned him of earlier. Friends that could suddenly start dating in the midst of the blue, but Namjoo…wouldn’t do that…would she?

“Do I know him?” Ki Chan asked.

“I don’t think so,” Namjoo shook her head.

“Can I meet him sometime?” Ki Chan wondered.

Namjoo seemed to take his words into thought before nodding and he was glad to see that she wouldn’t hide anything from him. That’s what he always liked about her. Namjoo was trustable.

“Namjoo!” Bo Young called out from down the hallway. “Are you ready?”

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“Ah…we’re going to grab coffee and some snacks,” Namjoo replied. “I have night shift.”

“Don’t work too hard,” he worried and watched her smile again.

She waved before running off and he felt his heartbeats follow her down the hallway.

“=====”

Luhan hadn’t called her or sent her any messages over the weekend. Although Namjoo was majorly preoccupied with work and tending to patients, whenever she sat down she’d take her phone out to stare at it. She’d told herself he was probably busy preparing to head back to work, but Namjoo still wanted to know why he hadn’t cared to message her. He must have some free time after all, she was sure of it.

Sighing behind the service desk she glanced at the clock hanging to her right. It was past midnight. Did Luhan eat yet? Did he even care to make homemade meals for himself?

Annoyed with herself for thinking about him so much she shook her head and glanced around the spooky hallways. There weren’t many people roaming around the looming halls as there were in the daytime and sitting alone wasn’t of much comfort. Glancing down at the sheets in front of her she hoped to ward off her wild imagination.

Definitely, definitely nothing was there with her. Why couldn’t her shift end faster?

When Namjoo was finally let go she found herself driving around the city for some reason. The roads were overflowing with headlights coming from various directions. As always, it felt like everything was peaceful and set in place, but Namjoo was starting to feel like she’d missed out on something during her time at work.

Dinner…with Luhan.

Had he eaten alone again? Didn’t he hate eating alone?

He should have called…she found herself thinking.

Stopping at a red light in the middle of the dark Namjoo turned to her right where several apartment buildings were extending up into the air. Majority of the lights inside those homes were off, but a few of them were glowing yellow with the stars.

Was Luhan still up?

Who was she kidding? He’d told her he started work again so he should well be in bed by now. Only people like her who worked late night shifts were still up.

When she stepped into her apartment she found herself wishing that a meal was already well prepared for her. She was too exhausted, mind and body, to make anything to eat.

Making her way through the hallway she opened the door to her bedroom. First turning on the light she found herself facing a clean bedroom swept clean of dust and mites. There was her bed covered in white sheets to her right, a little bookshelf built into the wall over that, and a large wardrobe full of her clothing.

Chae Yoon had told her she lived well and Namjoo didn’t quite understand what she meant by that. Numerous times her friend had told her that she was envious of her lifestyle and Namjoo didn’t quite get that. Namjoo still couldn’t understand, but all of a sudden she thought it would be nice if she had someone to live with.

She’d moved out of the house because she needed peace and silent to study, but even after completing medical school she still hadn’t moved back home. There was something about that Namjoo didn’t know either. She couldn’t grasp the reason why she had chosen to stay in her apartment instead of going home.

Stepping forward she climbed into bed forgoing her shower and dug into her sheets ready to blank out.

The next morning Namjoo woke up later than planned. Deciding she didn’t want to eat in she stopped by a bakery. Sitting down with a tray of bread and a cup of coffee she sat by herself near the window enjoying the busy view of the busying streets.

Life like this, she thought, was pretty good. There was no one to get on her nerves or to annoy her. Silence was all it took for some peaceful moments sunken in relaxation, but how long would she go on selfishly like this? Was alone all she wanted?

Of course not.

Someday, she thought, she’d like to return home from work and hug that person waiting for her. Maybe she didn’t want a kid now, but somewhere in the future she wanted to be called Mom. Maybe she’d want to plant a small garden and fill it with flowers. She’d want to joke around while doing the activity with her lover and even get the dirt all over her. And even if it was childish and not her style she’d like to try out couple clothing with her lover, hold hands, kiss, hug, and much more.

But Namjoo…was afraid of getting hurt. She didn’t like getting hurt and she hated having pain in her heart. The heavy clouds that formed in her chest would weigh her down. She really wished that her first love would be her last.  

Namjoo worried that if she waited until she wanted to have a relationship, she might be too old then. The opportunities she could have had would have been missed and she’d really end up alone.        

On top of that all, how could she just decide to love someone so randomly?

Turning away from the window Namjoo turned her phone on and stared at the screen before watching it go dark. Yet again, there was no message from Luhan.

“=====”

Maybe he was getting over Chae Yoon after all. The exhilaration he’d been waiting for never surged through his veins as he waited over the weekend for something to happen. Part of him had thought that Chae Yoon might stop by, but she never did. He hadn’t moved, his place was always here and yet…Chae Yoon hadn’t come.

Luhan didn’t feel disappointed about her no-show.

He wondered though, if Chae Yoon had spoken about him at all to Namjoo. If she had, had she said good things about him or bad things? If Namjoo knew who he was, why did she even care? Or was it that Namjoo didn’t really know who he was at all?

Luhan thought back to the meeting in the restaurant and was guaranteed immediately that Namjoo didn’t know he was Chae Yoon’s ex. Anyway, if she knew she would have recognized his name right away, but she hadn’t.

Even so, after running into each other had Chae Yoon taken the chance to tell Namjoo about him? Was Chae Yoon saying the good or the bad stuff? Did Chae Yoon care to speak about him to anyone at all?

As Luhan sat in the deep silence of his apartment he stared down at the Ramen noodles he’d cooked. It was tasteless on his tongue. He’d tried making something from that cookbook Namjoo had bought for him, but it was bland and didn’t look right. Food after Namjoo’s just didn’t taste right.

Namjoo’s homemade food was the closest to his mother’s that he’d ever get. For about five years now he’d never had his mother’s food and suddenly tasting it again from Namjoo’s touch was replenishing.

There were two reasons why he hadn’t asked her over. It was because she’d told him she didn’t have time and because…because he felt guilty for calling a rich girl over.

Glancing to the side he peered at the handmade cookbook Namjoo had given him so kindly. He could tell that it was old, but had been taken care of well. He wondered if Namjoo had stored it somewhere safe all this time so that the paper it’d been made with wouldn’t tear.

Grabbing it he flipped it open for the first time and saw neat handwriting in dark black market. Over and around it were the drawings of a child, perhaps of what the food should look like. This was a kid’s book, he realized of recipes being capably handled by a child.

Luhan felt a laugh fall through his lips and pushing aside the noodles found himself sunken into the book.

“=====”

After a long weekend full of afternoon to night shifts Namjoo was finally sleeping in that Tuesday morning. She wanted as much rest as possible and didn’t care about the headache she might have after waking up.

Inside her head Namjoo was finally home after a long day of work. In that splendid house of hers with wide windows that allowed for the rays of the glorious sunshine in she was approaching who she felt was her husband. There was a misty fog around his face and Namjoo couldn’t see him clearly. She only knew he was dressed in a black suit handsomely waiting for her with a long rose in his hands.

Dinner, she thought, they were going to dinner. Namjoo felt her heart pulsate and a smile climb onto her lips as she hurriedly approached him, but the sight immediately dissolved when her phone rang.

When she woke up she was lying on her belly as she lay buried under her white sheets. Groaning from disappointment Namjoo searched for her phone sitting on the shelf above her head before answering.

“Busy?” A familiar voice asked.

Suddenly awake Namjoo flipped over and ransacked her mind for some kind of internal recording of Luhan’s voice. This was him…wasn’t it?

She felt her heart beat, “No.”

“Wanna stop by for dinner?”

Blinking at the ceiling Namjoo felt the imaginable rays around her tremble in joy. This…her mind wasn’t making this scenario up, was it?  

“Buy me some soda on your way,” Luhan ordered. “I want a new bandage too.”

Namjoo immediately turned when her doorbell rang, “Alright. See you.”

Quickly rising from bed Namjoo walked toward the door while tying her hair back. Aunt Jin was at the door without a grocery bag this time.

“Did you just wake up?” Her Aunt asked.

“You didn’t give me enough time to wash up,” Namjoo told letting her in.

“Go wash up then. Your breath smells,” her Aunt complained whipping the air with her hand. “You worked late last night or something again?”

“I had night shift,” Namjoo called out as she walked away. “If you’re hungry, grab whatever.”

After brushing her teeth and rinsing her face she found Aunt Jin sitting on her couch with a bag of cookies. She was currently browsing through the channels as if amazed by it.

“I didn’t know you had international channels,” her Aunt spoke in awe, her eyes tuned into the TV. “Your mom doesn’t even have it. I should spend the night sometime.”

Namjoo laughed to herself answering her no silently.

“What are you doing here?” Namjoo asked sitting down beside her.

“Why? I can’t come? I’m your Aunt, your only Aunt of all people.”

Namjoo just smiled.

Aunt Jin lightly giggled in reply and lightly hit her shoulder, “Are you coming home this weekend? Kai’s finally home. Your mother wants to celebrate his birthday.”

“He’s back?”

“Bring some friends. He’ll probably need some friends since he’s back. You know quite a few people, especially Ki Chan,” her Aunt nudged her teasingly. “Invite a lot. No one will mind.”

“Alright, alright,” Namjoo nodded.

Aunt Jin finally left after they watched two episodes of some very frustrating drama. Upon her leave Namjoo took a shower and changed before stepping out of her apartment. She was looking forward to going to the mart and heading over to Luhan’s for whatever he may need from her this time. Namjoo was just glad he’d called. Thinking about it made her jittery.

“Namjoo,” a voice called out for her when she stepped out into the lot.

Chae Yoon was walking toward her when she turned.

“Where are you going?”

“Oh…I was going to stop by the store and head over to Luhan’s,” Namjoo replied. “What are you doing here?”

“I was hoping we could spend some time together,” Chae Yoon told. “I finished my project early.”

Namjoo stared at Chae Yoon without word for a few seconds. She wasn’t sure what to say for some reason. Inviting her along to Luhan’s…might be strange since Chae Yoon and Luhan barely knew each other. It would be rude, wouldn’t it?

“That sounds fun,” Chae Yoon started, “do you mind if I come?”

Namjoo ran her eyes over Chae Yoon with uncertainty. In the end when she couldn’t reject her Namjoo just smiled and nodded.