"====="

Namjoo slept for another really long time again. When she finally got up, ate, and sat down the doorbell was ringing again. While sipping away calmly at her cup of coffee she listened to Luhan's distant voice calling for her as he knocked on her door. It came again and again and again. When she got to her second cup of coffee he was still there. 

The hours went by with her sitting quietly in the kitchen, calmly staring into space. When his calls silenced she moved into the living room to stare at the dead TV. Her blurred reflection mirrored her soul in a distorted slur.

She hadn't been able to think since lying in bed, but now that she was sitting there alone as she always had, she was finally determined to clear things through.  

Chae Yoon, as she always knew, had one man after another. Dating was as easy as failing an exam. Luhan was just one of those men in her life. Relationships were her everything; her first priority. Namjoo was used to it. She knew that Chae Yoon's main focus was on men; her life simply revolved around them.  

Luhan...she wasn't sure if she ever really knew him. Namjoo really had to question his sincerity. She'd been genuine with him all along, but what about him? He, after all, had been involved with Chae Yoon. Was he always that depressed man she first met? Or was he not? She couldn't tell what had ever been important to him at all. She was finally realizing that she never realy got to know him, but he'd taken to doing all sorts of gestures for her. Yet, she couldn't trust him. Going all the way out to the countryside for her could have been an act. She believed he would have been willing to go that far to trick her. The way he'd talked about his ex at first, the very which way he'd cried miserably made Namjoo think even more. He'd used her for Chae Yoon. 

When she thought about how much of a fool she'd been, she wanted to throw her fist. She must have looked funny, gullible, and dumb. Letting him watch her cry, allowing him to hear her secrets, and talking randomly to him; even sharing her life made her tremble in embarrassment. He must've been disgusted when she talked about Kai. Behind that face he put on, how much he had laughed in secret at her...Namjoo felt bitter.  

It must have been fun playing with her; so fun that he hadn't been able to stop.

And Ki Chan. He'd also been swayed by Chae Yoon. The three of them, whether they were lying to her or not didn't so much matter. 

Standing up Namjoo walked over to her window and stared outside. The yellow headlights of cars coming and going glowed in the night sky. Along with the bright business lights they swirled into the sky brilliantly. What a shine, she thought, what a shine.  

Namjoo would admit that she was hurt. She'd thought Luhan would be someone she could trust, but she'd made a foolish mistake. She had even allowed her emotions to lead her on and that was most disappointing. For a moment, she'd really liked him and that made her angriest. Like usual, she was always alone. From beginning to end, nothing had changed. She would never bare her soul to anyone alive.

Namjoo was used to alone, but this time she wouldn't be the bigger person. From now on she wouldn't do it again.       

Crossing her arms she stiffened her lips and continued following the headlights of those cars.  

"You're back?" One of the nurses waved at her with a smile.  

"You're finally glowing again after all that rest."  

Namjoo smiled back as she walked down the hallway. Yes, she was prepared to live again. Just because she had been fooled again didn't mean she would end things. Running away was immature. Her life was still her life and she knew what she was going to do.

"Namjoo," Bo Young set down the phone she'd been talking into down, "someone's looking for you in the lobby." 

"Ok."

Once she walked out of the elevator she spotted Luhan waiting by the wall with her sweater draped over his arm. His eyes immediately brightened up when he noticed her and immediately walked forward. Stiffly staring at him Namjoo started toward him normally as if she was seeing an old friend.

"I saw you leave your apartment this morning," he started, "you're all better."

Namjoo allowed a smile on her face, but offered no reply. 

"Here," he handed her the sweater, "you left it behind. I washed it."

"Thanks," she thanked taking it from him.  

"Did you get my message? I called, but you didn't answer."  

"Ahh...sorry," Namjoo pretentiously apologized; even took to sounding apologetic, "I changed my number."  

Luhan looked surprised as expected.  

"I was getting unwanted phonecalls from spammers, you know it happens a lot," Namjoo smiled and shrugged.  

"They must've been annoying...you should have told me."  

"Sorry," Namjoo apologized again.  

"Then...can I..."  

Twisting her wrist she glanced at her watch, "Since I'm busy I'll be going now."  

Namjoo turned to walk away, but stopped after taking a step forward. Swiveling around she started toward him. A childish smile appeared on his face when he realized she was coming back to talk to him. When she thought about how he had been waiting to talk to her she felt even more urged to talk. 

"Don't come here anymore," Namjoo said and watch his face dim, "the hospital isn't a playground. Unless you're here to meet with the doctor don't randomly come and go as you like. If I get pulled out of work it's going to hinder the other nurses. You understand, don't you?"  

"Oh...I'm sorry."  

Namjoo offered another smile again, "Then get back safe."  

She wiped the smile off at once when she turned to walk away. Gritting her teeth she started toward the elevator.  

"====="

Luhan couldn't tell if Namjoo was angry or not. She was still smiling at him, but her words were a bit stiff. If she was angry she wouldn't have talked with him, he was sure of it. Namjoo would never have come down to look for him.  

Kicking at the concrete he walked out. If Namjoo was still talking to him then she would probably still listen to him explain himself. When she knew he was innocent she would forgive him and they'd go back to normal.  

Confident, he started off toward the road. He would cook something and they could eat together tonight. The smile fell off when he saw Chae Yoon standing in front of his apartment. Pausing in his steps with the fresh grocery bags in his hand he pressed his lips together before starting toward her. 

"You're back?" She asked naturally as if he had invited her over. 

Opening the door he walked in quietly. Grabbing the door as it started closing she invited herself in. 

"Are you going to cook something?" She asked looking the bags over with her eyes.  

Turning to her he said, "Don't come here anymore."  

Pulling on a bitter smile she sat down anyway and looked up at him, "Don't tell me you're still waiting for Namjoo. Have you been able to reach her yet?"  

Biting his tongue he glanced down at her, "Seems like she doesn't want to hear from you." 

Chae Yoon snorted, "How long are you going to be stubborn like this? Do you really think you stand a chance with Namjoo?"  

He wasn't confident, but he still replied, "Yes."  

Smiling again Chae Yoon went on, "It's been a week, hasn't it? Namjoo hasn't come to see you at all, has she?"

Luhan could feel Chae Yoon dangerously pressing his button. She was purposely trying to pick on him. If he got angry she would win, but it was difficult not to expose himself. Her words hit the exact spot where his anger lie and her words pointed out exactly what he was concerned about; that he didn't have a chance with her; that she wasn't coming to him anymore.  

"It's not the first time." 

"But I can tell that you're scared. 'What if Namjoo hates me, what if I can never see her again,' right?" Chae Yoon pressed on. 

Luhan gritted his teeth to restrain himself. If he let Chae Yoon get to him then it was all over. 

"I told you, you should have chosen me, then you wouldn't be having such a hard time right now," Chae Yoon pestered as if she had made the greatest point to him before. 

Luhan turned to stare off elsewhere to ignore her. 

"All right then," Chae Yoon stood up figuring she'd had enough playing, "go bribe her. I can tell you though, that Namjoo won't even let you step into her apartment. The only person who can go in and out freely from there is her brother. You don't stand a chance."

When the door closed Luhan felt so angry that he ended up pounding the table with his fist. 

It was barely two a.m. when he finally spotted Namjoo walking down the hall. He'd been waiting in front of her door since ten p.m. afraid that he'd miss her if he was a second late. He was glad he'd waited. 

He caught her eyes looking at him, but didn't halt in restriction. That was a good sign.

"You're back?" He smiled. 

"What are you doing?" She asked. 

Again, he couldn't tell whether she was angry at seeing him there or not. Pulling on another smile nervously he glanced at her arm. Kai's bracelet was no longer there. 

"What?" Namjoo's voice made him look at her. 

"Oh..." he awkwardly smiled and held out the box of food he'd packed, "I thought you might be hungry, so I made something for you. It's the noodles you really like." 

Namjoo glanced at the box without emotion and he wondered if she'd accept it. For a second he didn't think she would. 

"Ok," she easily said and took it from him, "I'm tired, so you should go." 

"I have something to tell you." He started.  

Slightly turning her head to glance back she said, "I'm tired. Talk next time."  

Turning away she pounded the password into the keypad and the door unlocked. His mouth opened to say good night, but the door closed. Namjoo was probably tired. Her shift must've been long...

Reaching for the door he pressed his palm against the cold exterior as if he might be able to touch her heart. For some reason it settled his restless heart momentarily. It felt like he could get closer to Namjoo, like he was inside with her. The rough pebbles on the door pressed into his fingers as he stood close.  

"I finally called my mom," Luhan spoke, "I...just wanted you to know."  

Running his eyes up the thick paneled door he wondered if it was possible for Namjoo to hear him.  

"Alright," he quietly said, "go to sleep. Don't be tired and eat well. Good night, Namjoo."  

"====="

Her hands tightened around the lunchbox before she kicked off her shoes and walked away from the door. Maybe Luhan had expected her heart to melt in sympathy for him, but she was tired of emotions. He was really going to continue with his sorry act.

Setting the food onto the kitchen table loudly she stared at it and snorted. She detested the sight of his food.

Walking away she took off her jacket and started toward the bathroom for a shower. 

"It's so good! Did you make this?" Bo Young exclaimed the next day at work after her tenth bite of the noodles Luhan had fried. "You have to share the ingredients with me girl!" 

Namjoo only smiled. They were sitting in the nurses quarters at a square table with binders and sheets of paper littering its top. A warm yellow ray of sunshine lazily melted into the room through the large side window while they sat there comfortably. Everyone had either gone out or downstairs for lunch, but Bo Young had stayed when Namjoo showed her the lunch box.

Bo Young teasingly nudged her, "You've been acting like you want to live alone, but you've actually been preparing to get married huh?"

Namjoo only laughed and turned to stare at the food her co-worker was downing.

"You're not going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry." Namjoo watched Bo Young gobble the food down and turned to look elsewhere; heavy resentment underlying her eyes.

After clearing the lunch box she headed upstairs where Ki Chan's office was located. She knocked as she pushed open the door and watched him look up from his paper filled desk. This was the first time she'd come to find him since returning to work. Whenever they had run into each other in the hallway Namjoo had only simply nodded her head before walking away. As if acknowledging her feelings he'd stopped coming to look for her too. 

"Oh...Namjoo," he greeted surprised with her unexpected visit, "what brings you here?"  

Inviting herself in she immediately set the empty lunchbox roughly onto the papers he'd been looking at. He stared at it confused.  

"I already ate."  

"I didn't bring it for you," Namjoo shook her head.  

"Then..." He glanced from the box to her.  

"Return it," Namjoo demanded.  

"Wha..."  

"It's Luhan's." Namjoo explained and watched his face turn into a soft, surprised demeanor.

He was most likely surprised she had it, but she wasn't about go to explaining herself.

Crossing her arms she nodded toward the box, "If I calculate from our relationship, there are things you owe me. Don't you think so?"  

He stared at her with those gentle eyes of his. She knew he wanted to tell her otherwise; that he knew she was upset and she wanted to lash out, but she wasn't doing anything. The only victim of her silent anger had been him alone. Ki Chan out of Chae Yoon and Luhan was easiest to touch and closest to her. And...because he liked her he would let her silently pound him.  

"Throw it out then," Namjoo said before turning to walk away.  

"====="

Ki Chan stared at the lunch box Namjoo had abandoned on his desk for a long time. He twisted and turned the solid before leaning back into his seat.

Namjoo was still smiling a lot to her co-workers as if everything was still perfectly fine, but to him she'd given the cold shoulder. From what he heard from their co-workers, Namjoo didn't go out with them when they decided to gather for fun. Every time after work he'd watch her walk solemnly to her car and drive off. Seeing her lone back made him feel even sorrier. From Namjoo he hadn't heard her wholeheartedly laugh, not once since she resumed work. All her focus had shifted to those coming in and out of the hospital.

He recalled the day she'd called to ask him for help to change her phone number. She had strictly warned him not to tell anyone. Namjoo who had always been so open had become so closed up. She never told him about how Bo Young had clumsily slid down the hall or what she'd had for lunch. Namjoo never shared anything with him anymore. Even to the others she no longer talked about herself.

He wasn't comfortable with this stranger she'd become. Ki Chan was sure that she was acting this way to protect herself from being vulnerable, but she didn't have to go as far as cutting off her social life.

The very next afternoon he was waiting again, yet impatiently at the coffee house; not for Chae Yoon, but for Luhan. When the door opened he watched Luhan look around before catching sight of his waving arm. Walking over awkwardly Luhan took the seat across from him. Before talking, Ki Chan leaned over to take the lunchbox out of his bag and slid it across the table to him. 

The glint of recognition of the item in Luhan's eyes told Ki Chan he'd expected Namjoo to return it. 

"You," Ki Chan started, "I thought I told you to stay away from her." 

Luhan glanced at him innocently. Ki Chan detested how childish he looked. 

"You've ruined the very essence of what Namjoo used to be," Ki Chan blamed, "do you know that?" 

"What do you mean?" Luhan questioned worried. "Did something happen to Namjoo? Is she sick again?" 

Turning his head to the side unable to bear Luhan's act, he laughed bitterly and turned back to the man in front of him. 

"I'll let you know one thing," Ki Chan went on very patiently, "I've never seen Namjoo angry. She's the kindest girl you'll find around. She's someone who always trys to understand you no matter the situation and give you a smile without reason, but that Namjoo; the pure, tolerable, innocent girl vanished and in just one night. I think I'm finally seeing her at her end. It's scary."

"What are you..." 

"Namjoo," Ki Chan cut him off, "is finally angry." 

Luhan's brow twitched. 

"If, for one moment, have you ever stopped thinking about yourself and Chae Yoon and thought about Namjoo?" Ki Chan asked quietly; his voice raspy before his eyes suddenly went wide and stared at Luhan as if shooting lasers at him. "Even if you and Chae Yoon get on your knees now and apologize, Namjoo wouldn't even flinch! You, Chae Yoon, and I have taken it all from her. That genuine spirit, the innocence, and the patience; we've the humanity out of her! Do you know what we've done!? One lie after another and it still wasn't enough?! How long are you going to keep doing this to her?!" 

Luhan merely blinked, his eyes wide. 

"To you, Namjoo might have looked the most capable; the strongest; and most reliable, but beyond that is just a young woman who needs to be protected. Her heart is like a flame that's already gone out."

Ki Chan breathlessly laughed angrily. Even his throat was shaking, "I, because of Chae Yoon, have wronged Namjoo. As long as you're alive, I hope you never forgive yourself. You and Chae Yoon, please end your game."

Standing up from his chair he crumpled a piece of napking in his palm, "I swear that if you ever touch her, I won't let you go."