Happiness and Fear

Lessons from Romance

The next morning during breakfast Namjoo felt her eyes move in Luhan's direction. He was eating well and quietly. Lowering her head to take a bite of her food she wondered if he'd really stood outside of her door. If so, why? The more she thought about it, the more she couldn't understand. Why would he anyway? But what if...he come to apologize? 

A little disheartened she sighed and continued eating. After washing the dishes and changing she headed down the stairs. The rest were already outside with the rental car preparing to head for the market. When she started toward the door she caught Luhan putting his shoes on. He slightly paused for a few seconds when he saw her, but continued on. 

He probably didn't want to be near her, she thought and glanced at the ground. Slowly moving forward she grabbed her sandals and slipped into them. Then again, she wondered about the door closing last night again and the strange feeling she'd had. 

When Luhan turned to head outside she called out, "Wait." 

He immediately stopped in his tracks and turned around. Namjoo peered into his face suddenly feeling small. Would he answer her if she asked? 

"Last night," she started, "did you...did you want to say something to me?" 

Luhan stared back at her with those cold eyes of his; the ones he'd looked at her with that night he'd screamed at her. 

"No." 

Namjoo suddenly took a step forward when he turned to really walk out, "T...that really wasn't you?"

"I said it wasn't," he perfectly enunciated each word sounding irritated before finally walking out, leaving the door to slam. 

And Namjoo...felt hurt for some sane reason. Did he...not like her that much? But she liked and wanted to befriend him. 

"You coming?" Ki Chan opened the door, poking his head in with a smile. 

Namjoo glanced at him and smiled, nodding. 

"Sit in the front," Chae Yoon smiled at her when she neared the car. "The seat's reserved for you anyway." 

Namjoo watched her turn to Ki Chan with a wink before opening the back door to get in. She knew and was consciously aware that Ki Chan liked her, but Chae Yoon didn't have to make it so obvious. It put her in an uncomfortable situation no matter how nice Ki Chan was to her.

"====="

Settling into the seat behind Ki Chan, Chae Yoon glanced toward Namjoo's downcast eyes before quickly turning to the talking Ki Chan with a bright expression. When she turned away the glow in her face disappeared and she stared into her lap. 

Chae Yoon wanted to laugh at how pretensive she was being. Luhan had exclaimed how she was the one putting an act, but really Namjoo was doing this to herself. That girl, as long as she stayed beside Ki Chan, nothing would go wrong. 

Chae Yoon turned to look at Luhan who was peering out the window desolately. She really hoped he would come back to his senses. His confusion must have affected his head so much that he'd strayed so far from her and it was all because of Namjoo. And Chae Yoon would get him back. Luhan belonged with her and only her. 

The front of the market was accompanied by a full crowd dispersing in every which way. Older women with their popular curly hair trudged back and forth with bags hanging off their arms, eyes searching for other stores. The shouts of shop owners speaking to customers or friends roamed the air busily like bees at a beehive when they entered. 

"Stay close so you won't get lost," she heard Ki Chan warn Namjoo and smiled before glancing at Luhan for his reaction. She caught his eyes dwindling over them before peering off elsewhere. 

Catching up to him from behind Chae Yoon prodded, "You like seafood too don't you, Luhan?"

She discreetly pushed him up front so that Ki Chan and Namjoo were stuck behind them. Her eyes sneakily flew up to look into his steady face and smiled again. 

"Namjoo likes dried squid," Chae Yoon spoke loudly, turning around to look at her friend then to Luhan, "What about you? Oh look! There's a store up ahead selling some live ones!" 

Without waiting for the others Chae Yoon hurried off. 

"What would you like young lady?" the store owner asked when she arrived at the shop. 

"Don't they..." Chae Yoon started peering into the basket of flapping squids and turned around to discover that no one was behind her. 

As her eyes veered off she caught sight of the others heading their way. When they neared a man with a wide stature walking by accidentally collided into Namjoo. Chae Yoon caught the sound of her surprised shout. Luhan quickly twisted around to check up on her before Ki Chan put his arm around her to keep her on balance.

A snarling smile pulled the corner of her lips up while her eyes set themselves on Luhan. Everything, everything was about Namjoo. Even both men with them had their full attention on her. It made her bitter. 

This should be more of a double date than her being left as third wheel. 

"====="

Was Namjoo a fool? Why wasn't she walking on the inside instead of the outside path? And why hadn't Ki Chan made sure she was walking on the side away from the people?

"You ok?" Ki Chan asked. 

"What's going on? Why are you guys so slow?" Chae Yoon asked striding back to them.

"Some man bumped into Namjoo." Ki Chan calmly replied. 

Luhan caught Chae Yoon running her eyes over them and judged, "She doesn't look very hurt." 

He turned to look at Chae Yoon abruptly, but said nothing. She shot him a glance and turned back to the others.

"It was just a small push," Namjoo commented as if noticing Chae Yoon's strong gaze. 

"Come stand over here," Ki Chan told leading her to his other side, his arm still around her shoulders. 

The sight of it made Luhan turn away, biting his tongue the whole way. 

Why did it make him feel so...bitter?

"====="

Namjoo felt guilty for some reason. She felt her eyes dip down to the concrete before focusing on Luhan's back. He had this ability to make her feel as if she was responsible for his mental stability and well-being, just like when he used to call her over to be there for him. Or had she just gotten so accustomed to it? 

It was then that she caught the sight of the ribbon around his wrist. He still kept it on, why? If it reminded him of her, why would he still want it? Or was it just because he was embarrassed of the scar underneath? Perhaps it was just that. 

They stopped by a few shops and thanks to Ki Chan's playfulness she was able to stop pondering about Luhan. As he swung a live octopus toward her with its legs wriggling she screamed and pushed  his hand back. The store owner laughed at them and even allowed them to eat it for free. She first watched Ki Chan take the still wriggling detached leg the owner had offered him and take a bite whilst shaking her head. 

"Here, eat it," he held the other part to her. 

"I don't want to. You just eat all of it." 

"It's really fresh," he started toward her. 

Namjoo wasn't fond of eating live things, not after a story Kai had shared with her but she could feel his intent when he neared. As she turned to escape he caught her arm and immediately pulled her into his chest. While squirming and turning her face away from the tentacle he was trying to feed her she could feel it whipping her lips. 

"What are you two doing?" Chae Yoon's voice broke the moment when she and Luhan returned from buying some vegetables. 

The interruption allowed Ki Chan to shove the octopus into and finally let go of her. In order not to throw up and embarrass herself Namjoo turned away with her face shrinking into disgust. Even against her will she forcibly chewed the poor octopus her teeth and gums. She swore she'd hate herself forever. Fighting not to gag and deciding not to chew anymore she just swallowed the part of the octopus whole.

"Isn't it delicious?" Ki Chan asked brightly. 

Namjoo found herself unable to answer as she felt the acid in her stomach threaten to flow up . Looking away from him she caught Luhan glancing at her with concern in his eyes before looking away. 

"====="

They finally found some place to eat after buying all the ingredients for the barbeque that evening. This time he was stuck sitting in front of Chae Yoon. 

"It's so hot here," Chae Yoon fanned herself with a hand. "But what were you two doing earlier? That was quite some flirting going on, right Luhan?"

Luhan shot Chae Yoon a glance without commenting. 

"The store lady was just letting us eat an octopus." Ki Chan explained.

"Really? She must have thought you two were cute."

Luhan wished Chae Yoon would just shut up. 

"Doesn't this feel like a date?" Chae Yoon asked, staring directly at Namjoo.

Namjoo's gaze was set on the table when Luhan glanced at her. She didn't seem to be paying attention to Chae Yoon's blabber, which Luhan wanted to laugh at. 

"Namjoo," Chae Yoon called out. Then even louder, "Namjoo!" 

Luhan wanted to shoot Chae Yoon a frown. Why was everything to her always Namjoo? Was she so insecure around her friend?

Turning to Chae Yoon surprised she asked, "What?" 

"Never mind." Chae Yoon brushed her off as if she were superior to her. 

Namjoo looked at them confused, as if either he or Ki Chan would help. 

"It's nothing. Just ignore her," Ki Chan smiled. 

"There's something I wanted to look at outside," Namjoo told. "I'll be back." 

His eyes shot after her. Where was she going? Exactly how was he supposed to be comfortable with Chae Yoon and Ki Chan without her? 

"Was it a live octopus Namjoo ate earlier?" Chae Yoon asked.

"Yes." Ki Chan nodded. 

"Ah..." Chae Yoon nodded, "Namjoo doesn't like that stuff; eating live things." 

"Really?" Ki Chan's eyes widened. "I didn't know." 

"She never did it again after a story her brother told her. You know," Chae Yoon purposely shot Luhan an eye, "her brother, Kai." 

"What story?" 

"A story about two octopuses scheming to escape a chef, but in the end they were caught and cooked. They held hands till the end. It's a really short neat story, huh?" 

"That's pretty sad."

Luhan stared into the table, wondering if Namjoo was feeling sick after eating the octopus. The flashback of how Ki CHan had forced her to eat it made him angry, but it wasn't like he could just blow up. 

"I'm going to the bathroom. Excuse me," Luhan told. 

When he stepped outside the first thing he did was look for Namjoo. He wandered a few shops away from the restaurant before he discovered her in front of a shop looking at a book. She'd look through its contents, set it down then pick a new one up. 

Peace flushed through him as he watched her. He was relieved she wasn't anywhere else vomiting. His eyes immersed upon her; the one person he hadn't seen for a week or two. Namjoo looked really peaceful and calm, like always; it was her demeanor. The aura made all tension inside his float away always.  

His brows slightly shot up when Namjoo's mouth dropped open and she suddenly dropped the book into the basket before she started freaking out and jumping around. Passersby turned to stare shocked and Luhan felt his footsteps quicken toward her. Namjoo was quickly brushing her hands against her shirt as she spun around crazily before bumping into him.

All else fell silent when he grabbed onto her arms and felt her hair brush against chin while turning to look up at him as confusion fluxed through her. A loud pang of his heart resonated in his ears when their eyes finally met. Luhan's mind emptied immediately unable to catch the gulp going down Namjoo's throat. 

A roar of laughter coming from some come running by stopped and while pointing fingers at them teased, "Ew! A couple!" 

He watched them run off before Namjoo pulled away from him. 

"What are you doing out here?" Namjoo asked. 

His eyes landed on her for a few seconds and asked in return, "What were you doing?"

"Oh...there was something on me."  

Luhan tilted his head slightly to look at her clothes, "Spider?"  

"No," her voice was quiet, "it looked weird."  

Walking over he brushed at her clothes and turned her around before stepping back, "It's gone. You must've scared it away."  

She didn’t say anything, but they stood there for about a minute anyway.  

Then at last she said, "I'll go back first."  

Luhan felt her walk by and suddenly experienced some sort of yearning flash through him. Why now, he thought. Didn't she want to stay there longer? 

Quickly turning around he asked, "Why...did you let him do that to you?" 

Namjoo stopped shortly in her steps, but only showed her back to him. In the end she just continued walking away. When Namjoo finally disappeared he stared at the ground wondering what it was he was doing. What an idiot he was. Then turning he caught sight of the little traditional fairytale book she had been looking through. 

When he returned Ki Chan was sitting in his spot immersed in a conversation with Chae Yoon. Namjoo was meaninglessly dragging her finger across the table repeatedly. Luhan really didn't want to go sit back down, but he still wanted to go sit back down. Pressing his lips firmly together he sat down with his eyes first on the table top before slowly raising them to look up into Namjoo's dazed expression.  

Maybe he should have asked her about Kai. Since the eating the octopus she would have recalled the story Kai told her. If it was anything to do with Kai, she'd surely be thinking about him. When Luhan thought about that picture in her wallet she never removed, he felt discontent.  

The longer her stared at Namjoo, the more it seemed as if he was invisible to her. What was she thinking about?  

Jutting his leg out from underneath he purposely touched her feet for her attention. Namjoo quickly moved her feet back and looked up at him. He felt his invisible arms pump the air in victory and slid his foot forward again to touch her feet when she looked away again. He succeeded again in gaining her attention and felt a smile crawl onto his face. A frown crossed Namjoo's face when she looked at him and kicked her feet out to hit his shin. This time he jumped in his seat with a loud shout, surprising both Chae Yoon and Ki Chan who'd been oblivious to them.  

"What?" Ki Chan asked. "Is something wrong?"  

Laughing, Luhan shook his head and pulled his leg up to rub his shin. Without a word though, Chae Yoon shot the two of them a suspicious glance.  

This time when as they drove back to the resort Luhan felt more relaxed, a little happier than yesterday. While leaning his head against the window he peered into the front seat, even if he couldn't see Namjoo he still felt good, very good.  

"====="

They'd take a few hours' rest then prep for the barbeque. That was the plan when they reached the resort. Feeling grimy and sticky from the market Chae Yoon had resorted to taking a refreshing shower. After walking out of her room freshly dressed she opened the door to Luhan's room to discover that he wasn't in. It was empty as well downstairs, but when she walked into the kitchen she spotted someone moving around in the yard.

Nearing the screen door she discovered Luhan pacing back and forth outside, staring at the green grass as he went to and fro. Sliding the door open she stepped out watching him turn to look at her. There was a kind of heart pounding feeling that she'd gotten his attention. Closing the door behind her she then watched him turn away from her. Expecting him to ignore her anyway she trodded over to the picnic table and sat down, leaning her chin into her palm. For a while she eyed him. She wanted to irk him until she'd finally succeeded in provoking him.
 
"Do you want something?" Luhan questioned.  

Chae Yoon shrugged, "I should be asking you that."  

His brows curved a little, trying to figure out what she was up to.  

"Should I help you?" Chae Yoon asked.  

"Why would I want your help?"  

"Ah...it's nice out here," Chae Yoon stretched her arms back, tilting her head back to feel the warm sun beat against her skin hoping that she was annoying him.  

Calmly standing by, he stared.  

Setting her arms onto the table she said, "Since we're out here, you do realize that only Ki Chan and Namjoo are alone in there."

If he went in, that would be his answer and she'd put forth more effort to split him and Namjoo. If he didn't...well, she knew he'd go in anyway. Chae Yoon could feel it.  

"So?" Luhan asked.  

"Well, I was trying to help you." Chae Yoon spoke staring into the woody forest ahead. 

"Leave me alone," Luhan told and starte toward the house.  

The moment the door slid open Chae Yoon felt fire split her heart open.  

"====="

"Why don't you just admit it that you like her."  

He could still hear Chae Yoon's annoying voice making rounds inside his head. As soon as he closed the door behind him and stepped forward a few steps he slowly came to a pause. Beside the staircase and the wall separating the kitchen from the living room he spotted Ki Chan's back.  

"Of course, why wouldn't I remember that?" His ears perked up upon hearing Namjoo's voice and immediately turned all his attention toward the staircase. "Of course, I've known you for a long time. I trust you. What is it?"        
                      
"You might know it anyway, but I still want to tell you myself."  

"They look good together, don't you think? They should have gotten together long ago. If you're not careful, he just might win her heart."  

Luhan felt his heart thump in near panic and turned around with wide eyes. Ki Chan...was going to do it. His mind raced furiously, unable to input any orders to his brain.  

What...what should he do?  

His feet started toward the doors, but instead of walking out he headed toward the sink where a cup was sitting on the counter. Without thinking it his hand moved out and pushed it into the sink. As it landed in the sink a loud noise echoed throughout the whole home. 


***HAHAHAHAH Bad Luhan


 

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Mikka_
#1
Chapter 53: So good as always ~
wilddisneyprincess
#2
Chapter 7: sweet poor Ki Chan....Hey quick question, why in the world Namjoo knows nothing about Luhan? I mean Namjoo and Chae Yoon are best friend aren't they? Don't answer me if it's gonna give me spoiler..haha..
urbanfaery
#3
¡Wow! This fic was truly incredible. You put so much depth into the characters, making them realistic and making us get angry (ing Chae-yoon) and swoon at the characters. I have to say that is a definite favourite and one of the best stories I have ever read! Props to you and your incredible writing. Love, love, love
Liajiya
#4
Chapter 53: Really loved the story! I really loved the characters' feeling development. And i really loved jongin's presence here. Thank you for sharing this with us :)
ljolson
#5
Chapter 38: I really liked this story, but Namjoo's naivety is getting annoying. I know she is meant to be this way, but it makes me dislike her almost as much as Chaeyoon. Maybe it will get better later on
nazhoney900105 #6
Chapter 53: too caught up with your story..really are amazing..never in my mind to have hanjoo couple but you make it happen in the story..i love how the story flows and how it ended too..to conclude it i like you writing.. :)
dewi_sari20 #7
Chapter 53: I really like this happy end of hanjo, I would like to see the sequel or another story of them, I always adore your writting skill and looking forward for your other story :)
ESCshine #8
Couldn't stop reading this story! It was really really good! Thank you so much ^^
hyunlover97
#9
Chapter 53: oh my god, you‘re so amazing! this was a terrific story, thank you so much