"====="

Namjoo didn't want Chae Yoon's words to become her truth or reality. Men and women could be friends, it just depended on how they managed it. The more she tried to fight Chae Yoon's words away, the more they became visible inside her head. Suddenly she could hear Chae Yoon's voice repeating itself within her mind.  

Namjoo turned when her phone went off and pulled it out of her bag. It was Ki Chan calling. 

"Sorry to bother you," he started, "are you busy?" 

Namjoo peered out of the window into the dark streets lit up by the pretty street lights, the stores, and cars going to and fro. Her eyes landed on the buildings alongside the street and thought of how she should be nearing Luhan's place. 

"Is something wrong?" Namjoo wondered. 

"Actually, I'm not feeling well right now," he said, "do you mind coming over for a while?" 

"====="

Guilt...was more overpowering than he'd ever remembered it to be. Ki Chan felt as if he deserved to be stoned for conning someone so innocent. Namjoo always had a big heart, being the first to forgive even when she'd been wronged. It made him feel even more awful about this scheme. She would probably hate him when she found out later what he was up to.

When he thought of how Namjoo's eyes would never look at him again he felt invisible strings tug at his heart painfully. It was a rare sight to see Namjoo angry. Throughout all the years he'd been acquainted with her, Namjoo had never gotten angry. He'd seen her sulk and become upset, but that was as far as he'd seen. Otherwise, she'd always try to understand everyone. 

Setting down the heating pad he'd pressed against his forehead he stared at the ground distraught. He hadn't felt self-loathe for a long time, but today he was experiencing it for the first time. How...he hated himself.
 
He didn't deserve Namjoo or her heart. She was too good for all of them. 

When the doorbell rung he stared at the door wondering if he should open it at all. Run, he wanted to tell her, escape and leave everyone behind. He wanted to tell Namjoo that she was walking into a realm where everyone would stab her. 

His nails dug into the heating pad before he walked into his room, chucked it in the closet, and started toward the door. 

"Are you ok?" Namjoo asked. 

He sought out the worried lines on her face, her eyes reading of concern for someone she cared about. 

How...he hated himself. 

Namjoo pressed her warm hand to his forehead and he caught the drop of her jaw. His heart constricted painfully and he, instead of desiring to hug her wanted to push her out the door. Yet, he hated himself even more because he wanted her to stay with him. 

"You shouldn't be up," Namjoo quickly pushed him around and pushed him toward his bedroom. 

As they passed his living room he reminisced the memories where they used to sit as college students, studying and eating ramen late into the night.

"Have you eaten anything?" Namjoo asked drawing aside the blanket for him. 

"I had some pizza earlier." 

"What the heck?" Namjoo said. "You shouldn't be eating that stuff. I'll make something for you to eat. No wonder you're burning up. You call yourself a doctor?"

"Are you really nagging at me right now?" He asked and smiled. "I haven't heard you nag in a long while." 

Namjoo shot him a look, drawing the covers over him, "You have medicine in your cabinet, right? You're a doctor, you should." 

He watched her walk out and close his eyes while she rummaged through his kitchen. This, too, felt nice. Namjoo hadn't come over since graduation and he'd missed those days with just the two of them. 

His eyes opened moments later when Namjoo walked back into the room with a stool in her other arm. Setting it down by the bed where she'd dropped her bag she set the stool down and sat on it. 

"Can you sit up?" She asked. "Are you able to eat on your own or should I feed you?" 

Ki Chan would have taken advantage of the situation and had Namjoo feed him. It was something he would want to personally experience, but because he was wronging her he couldn't. 

Sitting up he reached for the bowl and said, "Thanks Namjoo." 

Feeling the warmth of the bowl within the palm of his hands he felt like curling up. He wanted to be reprimanded, tell Namjoo he wasn't really who she thought he was. He wasn't the good guy who'd befriended her, who would help her whenever he could. He was shameless and selfish. 

"And I'm sorry," Ki Chan apologized quietly. 

"Why?" Namjoo asked. "You don't need to apologize. Just get better."

Smiling bitterly he clutched onto the bowl even tighter. Namjoo...was so innocent. 

"I'll get you a glass of water and some medicine," Namjoo offered and started to get up. 

"You don’t need to," Ki Chan stopped her. 

Namjoo turned to look at him curiously. 

"Actually, just some sleep will do," he said and looked at her. "So can you, just stay with me?" 

He watched her eyes melt softly. She was probably surprised, perplexed by his request. If she just said that she had plans; that she was going to meet with Luhan, he'd most likely tell her to go. 

Behind her eyes, what was she thinking? Was she going to be the bigger person again? 

"====="

Luhan stared down at his small dining table filled with various entrees. Dishes greedily took up all corners of the table. A proud smile lit his face and he thought of how surprised Namjoo would be. He'd wanted to put as much food as possible on the table and this was it. Luhan knew for certain that Namjoo would be quite impressed with him. 

Impatient and anxious for her arrival he paced back and forth in the kitchen, even taking to making sure that the light bulb overhead wouldn't go out. Puffing his cheeks out and clutching his hands behind him he walked throughout the apartment studying every corner, as if to make sure there wasn't a sign of dust. Passing by the veranda doors he stared out at the night sky. When he caught sight of the stars lined up, he smiled while thinking about how they'd sat on the beach together. 

They could do that again tonight, couldn't they? 

Turning around he stared at the door and glanced at his watch. Namjoo should be there soon. Was Chae Yoon keeping her on purpose? Or were they having girl talk? 

He wished Namjoo would hurry up and he was sure she would come. She was a person to keep her words and she always came. Walking back into the kitchen he sat down at the table, overlooking the dishes he'd set out. Maybe he ought to readjust some plates so that Namjoo would have the better looking ones on her side. 

Chewing his lower lip eagerly he took to rearranging the plates properly and leaned back to eye them happily. He could hear Namjoo's voice asking him if the food was edible before praising him. The mere imagining of it made him smile shyly. 

What was taking her so long?

Twisting around he stared at the door longingly as if doing it would make Namjoo appear magically. Yawning suddenly he shook his head. He couldn’t sleep until after dinner and star gazing. Leaning back into the chair he threw his arms back to stretch out his tense muscles. 

Sighing he stared at the table of food. Namjoo was taking longer than expected. Had something gone wrong? 

Grabbing his phone he thought he'd call her. 

"====="

The ringing of Namjoo's phone interrupted them. Namjoo immediately turned to make a reach for it, but turned when Ki Chan grabbed her wrist. 

"Don't answer it," he ordered unable to meet with her eyes, "when you're here, don't touch your phone." 

Her eyes still, however; darted in the direction of her purse where her phone was. 

"The ringing is going to give me a headache," his voice quieted. 

"Sorry." 

"It's not your fault," he said, still withholding from meeting her eyes. "If you're tired, sleep here, ok?"

Namjoo glanced toward her purse again. 

"I'm not that tired," she turned back to look at him. "Why aren't you eating?"

"I am," he replied quickly as if she'd caught him redhanded and immediately ate some of the content from the bowl. "Did you have fun in Haenam?" 

"I did," Namjoo nodded. "You?" 

He slowly nodded, "Do you really think Luhan's a good person?" 

Namjoo raised her brow at the sudden mention of him. 

"Just...to be honest, Chae Yoon was worried about him," Ki Chan admitted, "so she asked me to help evaluate him."

Namjoo stared at him, her mind suddenly filled with other thoughts. Why, out of all people, did Chae Yoon and Ki Chan doubt Luhan? 

Something about it...bothered her. 

Why...Luhan?

"I'm," Ki Chan went on, "a little wary about him."

"Why?" 

Ki Chan seemed to ponder over it for a little while, "Chae Yoon must have said it to you plenty of times and I'm pretty sure I make it obvious too. I have feelings for you...I...really like you, Namjoo." 

Without wavering or peering away from him because she was uncomfortable, she continued looking at him. She'd been prepared for this moment since a long time ago. 

"I know," Namjoo told and smiled, "but you were always a friend to me. A friend I like very much. I'm sorry." 

He smiled disappointed, but still maintained his bright and calm stature, "I guess it's true about your first love then." 

At this point it wasn't like she could lie. She didn't think she wanted to lie to kind Ki Chan either. Of all people, he was one to always stand on her side. 

"Yes." 

His eyes drifted onto his lap, "I always looked forward to being your first love. I bet that guy is lucky." 

Namjoo felt apologetic toward him. Ki Chan, she knew, was a great guy and he deserved a chance anyone could give him, but she wasn't that person to do it.

For a long while she sat there until Ki Chan seemed to have drifted off into sleep. Closing the door to his room she stepped out and glanced at the clock. It was past midnight, a little too late to go see Luhan now. Although disappointed, there wasn't anything she could do. She hoped that by now, Luhan had already eaten and was asleep too.  

Of all promises she'd made, this one had to be broken. Sighing a helpless sigh Namjoo went to lay down on the couch.  

"====="

When the lights had turned off and the door closed, Ki Chan felt his eyes open. Immediately sitting up he peered around his dark room sick to his heart. 

He'd known all along Namjoo never felt the same way, but he still wanted to hear it from her lips. Now that it was over, he wanted to hug Namjoo; tell her he was sorry and for her to go home. When he opened the door and peered into the living room Namjoo was already asleep on his couch. 

The thought of how they were in the same room, but so far from each other made his heart ache a little. He couldn't touch her or go up to her. 

Quietly closing the door he kept hold on the doorknob. Namjoo must have wanted to see Luhan most tonight. That call earlier must have been from him as well, but as much as Namjoo wanted that man Ki Chan couldn't allow it. No matter the case, he couldn't trust Luhan. He'd approached Namjoo with ulterior motives. 

Because he'd already betrayed Namjoo's heart, he didn't want anyone else to hurt her anymore. Chae Yoon and Luhan, he'd definitely pull them out of Namjoo's world. 

"====="

The very second Namjoo's eyes opened she stared up at the ceiling before sitting up. Her mind was spinning, but she got up anyway. Walking toward Ki Chan's bedroom door she pushed it open to peek inside. Her friend was still asleep, but she couldn't leave just yet.

Heading into the kitchen she turned the stove on and set herself to work. When the porridge was almost cooked she turned when Ki Chan stepped out. 

"You're up?" Namjoo asked.

"What are you doing?" He looked confused and glanced from her to the pot on the stove.

"I wanted to make sure you had something to eat," Namjoo explained.  

His eyes flew around before he said, "Thank you."  

She reached over to turn the stove off as Ki Chan turned around to walk away, but he quickly turned back to her.  

"You should go."  

Namjoo raised her brows.  

"Go," he said again.  

And the very second she was out the door she raced outside with her heart pounding in her chest.  

"====="

Luhan felt his eyes open and he dug his head sleepily into his pillow. His stomach was near empty since he'd gone to sleep without touching dinner. He'd been utterly disappointed, maybe a little hurt at Namjoo's no show.  

into his pillow he clutched onto the blanket before his eyes shot open when he realized someone was knocking on his door. Quickly getting up he darted for the door without thinking. When he grabbed the doorknob he gulped before pulling it open. 

Namjoo glanced up at him as if embarrassed and nervous. Her hand tightened around the strap of her bag and she bit her lower lip.  

"Hey," she greeted.  

Luhan felt his eyes widen a little at the sudden surprise, his heart hammering his rib cage with force. He was happy, very happy just like a fool. A smile barely climbed onto his face before he suddenly recalled he'd just woken up.  

Quickly turning around he ran his hand through his hair wondering if he looked all right. He hoped to god that he didn't have awful bed hair and that his face didn't look weird. He wanted to scream because he hadn't yet brushed his teeth or washed up for the day and Namjoo...had seen him like this.  

It was a disaster!

Biting his lower lip he quickly turned around to let her in making sure to keep his face out of sight. He still took to running his hands through his hair as she stepped in. All he could think about was how embarrassed he was for greeting her like this.  

"Your table..." Namjoo's voice grabbed his attention.

Luhan quickly turned to look into the kitchen suddenly recalling how he hadn't taken to clearing the dishes away before going to bed. 

Letting out a breathless laugh to maintain his dignity he grabbed a bunch of his hair, "Ah...that...that..."

Words stopped coming out when he saw the small smile climb onto her lips while her eyes continued to run over the table he'd filled up with food last night. Suddenly it didn't matter that Namjoo hadn't come yesterday. She still kept her word and came after all and that...that was what he was most grateful for.