As expected, mom's initial reaction was to be surprised. But instead of reprimanding me, and blaming me for hurrying to get married, she hugged me.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was afraid you'll reprimand me, and blame yourself for marrying me off to him."

"No, honey. Even after all this, I still believe I allowed you to marry a good guy. I'm not taking back my words. And, sweetie. Divorce? You don't decide that over night."

"Umma. He's too much. I'm done being stupid."

"You're not being stupid honey. Now, do you see yourself growing old without Kai?"

I looked at her and shook my head.

"See? I don't want to control you, but I can't sit here and watch you wreck your own life. You just need to talk."

"Umma! You heard all the things he did, right? I told you that."

"Have you forgotten all the good things he has done? He's been protecting you and never leaving your side. And I'm a witness to that. Soojung, it's your time to be Kai's savior."

Clutching, I looked down.

"Kai has been too strong for too long. His strength had always bothered me. Now this time has come. Most probably, he has forgotten how to cry. He has no idea how to get it off his chest. And I think, the only possible way he sees is to be angry. Honey, when did you last see him cry?"

Mom's last sentence sent me thinking. The last time I saw him cry? When we were 16, when I left.

I kept shifting on my bed. Although I miss this place, it feels weird sleeping here. It's been months since I last stepped in this room. Not feeling sleepy, I sat up and took my sketchbook from the bedside table.

I drew. But not lines, not designs.

Starting with his eyes, my hands drew him.

I drew a smiling Kai. I miss that smile, when can I see that again?

When the sun rose, my room was filled by the delicious smell of chocolate. It made me running out of my room.

This feels like, the past.

The only difference is, appa is not in his seat reading the morning newspaper.

"Good morning, princess." Mom greets me as I scratch my head and sit.

"Good morning, umma." I smiled. "This feels like I'm still sixteen."

"Yeah. And I miss your dad so much." Smiling, she revealed the plate of waffles.

I gasped. Fresh strawberries, chocolate syrup and cream greeted me.

"Eat a lot. You're losing weight." She says.

"I will!" I started digging on my food.

"I'm going to the mart, later. Want anything?"

"Should I come with you?"

"No. It's alright, I won't take long."

Before mom left, she asked me when I'm meeting my lawyer. And truthfully, I don't want to meet her. I know I always say I'm filing a divorce, but it's not easy to do. Those are empty words. I mean, how can I file a divorce? He's Kai. KAI. I decided to not call my lawyer and just stay here for some time. Then, when I'm ready, when our wounds heal, I'll go back and try again.

Mom came back with an unexpected thing for me. A journal.

"What am I supposed to do here?"

"I don't know.. Write a diary or something? It's good keeping diaries, sweetheart."

"All I'll write here are sad things."

"Even so. If you just write the fun part, then it's not keeping a diary. It's tampering with your story." Mom smiled.

The first thing I wrote was,

A married couple complements each other. You're supposed to lift your partner up, when he's down. Same way goes for him. You're also supposed to fill the part where he's lacking. You need each other to live.

But if we're both hurting, do we still need each other?

Even if it hurts like this, I don't think I'll have the heart to leave him forever. I need him to live.

I want my jagi back.

After spending some quiet time in my room, I went out and cleaned the living room.

Mom stopped on her tracks and smiled.

"Umma?" I asked.

"Are you holding a vacuum right now, sweetie?"

I looked at her weirdly and nodded, "Why?"

"Aigoo, my princess did mature! It's the first time you're doing that in our home!"

"It's the first time?" I asked. Wow. I've been a useless daughter.

She nodded,"Keep it up, honey!"

---

Please be a little more patient. I'd really like to update but exams are getting on the way.

Wait a little more, huh? =)

And what the hell were they thinking naming us EXO-L?! Are we a sub-group or something? Oh Hello! I'm the lead vocal of rookie group EXO-L. Omona. ppl, we just debuted todaaaay!

I waited for almost 3 years, and that's the fandom name they'll give. What a life. LOL. I really like galaxy or squids. But anyway, since it's given, I SHALL LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I LOVE THOSE TWELVE OVERDOSED PETER PANS. <3 HEARTEU HEARTEU

XOXO,

ASDFGHJKLDOLL