Thinking all day, I strolled the streets of Seoul wearing my pajamas.

I'm not going back home until my mind is clear.

What do I really want? If I stay, will I still be able to fix it? If I go, will that be the answer?

I'm so lost. I.. I do love him, right? 

"Noona?" I was more than shocked to hear that voice, I turned to confirm it's owner.

"Se-sehun." I fixed my face, drying it with my hands. "W-what are you doing here?"

"Noona, what are you doing here?" He looked at me, seriously.

"Getting fresh air."

"Wearing your pajamas? Far from your home?"

The sun is almost setting, I've come a long way. I was so immersed in thinking, that I didn't notice it.

"Your eyes and nose are red. You've been crying. I've been feeling something is up between you and Kai. Now, I'm sure something is really wrong. Tell me."

I wanted to keep my mouth shut. I don't want to say this to Sehun. I don't think it's right. But before he became the man who likes me, he was my good friend. 

"We're done, Sehun-ah." I looked him in the eye.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm filing a divorce."

"What? Why?"

I shrugged and fought my tears.

"Are you in your right mind? Noona."

"I don't know what to do anymore."

Sehun looked frustrated. "I told him not to make you cry." He took out his phone, and called. 

"Who are you calling?" I asked, worried he's going to call Kai.

"Sulli noona."

While we waited for Sulli, Sehun took me to a chinese restaurant and let me eat.

I only went out with my pajamas and nothing else, no phone, no wallet, not even my card. I ate nothing, the whole day.

"It's my fault." He says.

I bit on my chopsticks. "It's not."

"If that accident didn't happen, then you won't be going through this."

"If that didn't happen, I wouldn't know this side of the man I married." I put down my chopsticks. 

I want to cry. Cry until I run out of tears.

I'm so troubled. I can't think. And I'm hurting a lot. Separating will stop all these, right?

I was back in reality when Sehun's soft hands touched my cheek. I was crying.

"It hurts me to see you cry."

"YA! What happened?!" I didn't see her face, cause she came running and hugged me immediately.

"I made up my mind, Sul."

"That's not it. No. It's not the right thing to do!"

"It is. I'm having such a hard time. I don't think Kai will come back to his senses. He changed. He changed so much. Even a bit of love between us is gone. I'm not even sure if I still love him. Do I love him? I asked myself a thousand times, but I can't seem to answer."

"Yes, you do." Sehun says. "You're not going to cry like this if you don't love him. You won't be in pain if you don't. I told you I'm going to take you if he makes you cry. But, I don't have the heart to take you. You love him so much, and I don't think taking you will make you happy. Only Kai can give you happiness."

"And only Kai can make me this sad and hurt. I don't want to be like this forever. And if I stay with him, he'll make me extremely sad. I can't."

Sulli pursed her lips, "Unnie, does auntie know about this?"

I shook my head.

"I just think you should go home and have a proper talk with Kai. And if it still doesn't work, we're taking you to auntie."

Sehun nodded. "Let's get you home."

The things Sulli and Sehun planned went the wrong way. It was okay when we arrived. I tried to calmly talk to Kai, but he wouldn't let me. He avoided me, several times. Which made Sulli burst.

"Do you know how much Krystal suffered?!"

"Sulli-yah." I said, trying to calm her down.

Sehun pulled her by her arms. "Noona, stop."

"Have you experienced losing a baby?!" Kai stands up, throwing his game controller on the couch.

"NO! But Krystal did. I don't want to cross this line. I don't want to meddle with someone else's marriage but this is too much! Wake up, KAI!" Her hands touched Kai's cheek with a slap.

"Sulli!" I yelled.

 We were shocked. Kai stood there and looked at Sulli with disbelief.

"This unnie here, loves you so much that she can't even do that to you. She can't even lay a finger on you to make you come back to your senses. She loves you so much that she's willing to be this STUPID! Don't be so selfish Kai. We all know how much you wanted a baby, but can't you see how Krystal suffered? Just let her freaking talk to you so she can finalize the divorce papers already!" She panted, brushing her bangs off. And whispered, "Just so you know, unnie was screaming for you inside the smoky car that day."

She calmed down, and turned to me, "Go pack your things."

"Noona, don't be so nosy. Let them talk." Sehun says.

"That guy won't even talk to Krystal! Let's just let their lawyers talk! Unnie, let's go!"

"Sulli, we'll talk, then I'll head off to mom's. I'll be alright. Sehun, take her home."

"You want us to leave you with this irresponsible man?" Sulli asked with knitted brows.

I nodded, "Please."

"Noona, let's go. Kim Jongin, this is your last chance. If you screw this up, I'm taking my noona no matter what."

I think Kai stopped paying attention when Sulli slapped him. He stood there, staring on the floor.

I went to our room and packed some of my clothes. I'm really doing this. I'm really leaving. I wiped my face, and locked my suitcase.

I dragged it out of the room, and found him nowhere.

Seeing the balcony's glass door open, I went there. I left my suitcase just outside the door and saw Kai, sitting on the floor.

I sat beside him.

"Full moon." He said.

Puzzled, I looked up. It really was a full moon tonight. I lost track. 

"How did we come to this?" I asked.

He didn't answer.

"I-i miss you a lot. I miss your voice, your smile, your hugs, everything. You used to be the brother I never had...the hero who protected me. The bestfriend who promised to never make me cry..." I sniffed. 

"The husband who will spend forever with me. You were my first love and my rock." I looked up.

"We used to watch the full moon and be really happy. But, why is it so different now? Why am I feeling this way? Oppa? Jagi? KAI. We fell inlove under the full moon, and I can never believe we are falling out of love under the full moon too."

Again, I was answered by silence.

Sighing, I stood up. "My lawyer will send your lawyer the papers once it's finalized." 

I said before going.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Chap 32, was really short. I didn't notice that because I was using my phone. Here you gooo sweeties <3 Don't forget to leave me comments! And don't hesitate to upvote. ㅋㅋㅋ

xoxo

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