It was three months after Hyukjae and Siwon wedding that Hyukjae learned the truth about Siwon’s sickness. All this while, Siwon had suffered heart problem, but he never told anyone. Siwon kept it to himself, even from his parents. Hyukjae had caught Siwon secretly taking pills, that the taller always shrugged him off by saying that it was vitamin for health.

It was one night that Hyukjae was so worried when Siwon’s face show displeased in pain. The taller was clutching to his heart badly, and his hand tossed everywhere, making the pillow fall down from the bed. ‘Pills…. my pills….’ Siwon said between his moaned of pain, and it took Hyukjae few seconds to engulf the meaning and rushed over Siwon’s drawer, only to find the pill Siwon told him as vitamins. Hyukjae quickly took the amount following the description, and quickly inserted it into Siwon’s mouth. It was difficult at first, but after few minutes, Siwon calmed down and fall asleep. That night, Hyukjae couldn’t asleep and stared at the medicine the whole night.   

The next morning, Hyukjae made Siwon spilled everything, with a lot of cries happen from both of them. Hyukjae become Siwon’s personal nurse, attending all Siwon’s needed, with a big hope that the taller will become healthy again.

‘Hyuk…’ Siwon called, cuddling with Hyukjae on their bed.

‘Mmm…’ his hand was playing with Siwon’s hair, caressing it softly.

‘Thank you for being my wife.’ Siwon said, making Hyukjae stopped his action. Siwon looked at the other when he could felt the other stopped. He smiled and took Hyukjae’s hand, only to intertwine it with his. ‘I am happy these three months, really.’ He said and Hyukjae looked at him confused. ‘My entire wish had coming true. I am happy. I am truly happy.’

‘Siwon let just sleep.’ Hyukjae said smiling, breaking their attached hands only to patting the pillow, preparing for sleep. Siwon smiled and nodded, letting his head fall down once Hyukjae done. Siwon hummed a song he himself didn’t recognize, caressing Hyukjae’s hair till the other was falling asleep. When he was sure Hyukjae was asleep, his right hand reached for the drawer, looking for a piece of paper. Siwon rolled the paper till it become small, and put it inside Hyukjae’s palm. He continued hummed the song, caressing Hyukjae’s hair again.   

Hyukjae groaned annoyed, the sunray makes his feel hotter. He rubbed his eyes with his left hand, slowly waking up. Hyukjae sighed when the first view comes to him was the white ceiling. He tried to pull away the blanket from wrapping him, only to find a small roll piece of paper falling down from his palm. Siwon was still asleep next to him. Hyukjae unrolled the paper to see the content. He didn’t understand what the paper was about, because what has written inside was an address.  Placing the paper on top of the drawer, Hyukjae kicked the blanket till it falls down outside the bed. Combing his hair with his left hand, while his right hand patting Siwon to wake him up.

‘Wonnie….’ Hyukjae called. ‘Wonnie, wake up. Its morning already.’ Hyukjae called once again. But the latter didn’t budged.

Hyukjae stared at the house he had shared with Siwon, the wall painting with baby blue color with apple green color as it combination. The house has got lonely ever since Siwon’s death, no laugh or no Siwon random humming. Siwon had respect Hyukjae very much, that the latter never intruded Hyukjae’s privacy. Siwon had always letting Hyukjae had his own privacy. He had never hurt Hyukjae, neither touching him.

When he was still alive, he knew that Hyukjae was still couldn’t forget Kyuhyun, but he never voice it out. Siwon had been patient with him, all he wanted just Hyukjae’s accompany. Siwon is not a lover, but he was a great companion to Hyukjae. It was such a pity for Siwon to fall in love to Hyukjae, because he was crazy over Kyuhyun. But Siwon never said thing about that. He understands Hyukjae. He knew Hyukjae couldn’t give him the love he wanted. But he put up with everything; the way Hyukjae treated him, the cold eyes staring at him though Hyukjae’s lips was smiling. A companion. That was what Siwon to Hyukjae. Now that Siwon was gone, Hyukjae only realized all this.   

Hyukjae regretted the way he had been living. He should have said no, no at their wedding. Though it’s going to hurt Siwon, at least the wound won’t be this deep. At least maybe, just maybe, Siwon could move on and not living in this fantasy, a fantasy Hyukjae’s created for revenge. Hyukjae wanted revenge; revenge to Siwon who had took away his happiness with Kyuhyun. If Siwon had told Hyukjae all he knew about Kyuhyun and Ahreum, or about Kyuhyun and Sungmin, he sure he will forgive Kyuhyun and none of them should stay apart. Siwon was the caused to him and Kyuhyun’s separate, which was what Hyukjae had buried inside his head ever since the day he vow loyalty to Siwon. And with that, his revenge to Siwon started.

Hyukjae felt sick, he felt like wanted to throw up remembering all the bad thought he had. He was sick with himself. He was sick pretending being victim, when he was the villain. Hyukjae was pretender, maybe that the reason why he couldn’t be with Kyuhyun. Because he wasn’t the nice person everyone thought about. He was a sick person, a possessive person, like Sungmin. The different only, Hyukjae know how to play victim, while Sungmin always plays villain.    

He was sad but half of his was happy too. Finally, he was released from Siwon’s grip. Finally, no one is there to stop him to get Kyuhyun back once again. Hyukjae never felt anything towards Siwon’s death unless a relief. Just a little, it was just a small sadness because Siwon had once was his best friend. He changed this way because of his undying love to Kyuhyun. His love to Kyuhyun had turned him into a monster. A heartless monster that was willing to do anything for its own happiness. And Kyuhyun was his sole happiness.

Hyukjae drove Siwon’s crazy with his love, making promises to Siwon as long as the taller did all he asked him to do. It was Hyukjae who had told Siwon to makes Sungmin vanished. And from the word ‘vanished’ he meant forever gone from this world. But Siwon was such a failure, Siwon didn’t kill Sungmin, but still asylum could give him guarantee that Sungmin could no longer ‘disturb’ Kyuhyun. And for that hard work, Siwon was granted to stay close with Hyukjae.

Hyukjae was also the one who had told Siwon to get rid of all the board members at Kyuhyun’s company who had ‘insulted’ Kyuhyun since that day. Hyukjae hated them for trying to sack Kyuhyun from his own company, and Siwon did as he was told like a good boy. And for that, Hyukjae promised him a wedding, one that had dragged him into this ‘fake’ wedding and thus killing Siwon from inside, more dangerous from the sickness Siwon was suffering at.

Hyukjae’s eyes were never warm when he was looking at Siwon, it was cold, too cold and evil that he knows Siwon hated it. But Siwon was a submissive to him, as long as he got Hyukjae with him, he wouldn’t mind. Their three months wedding was nothing new to Hyukjae, Siwon still couldn’t touch him the way he wanted, the treatment was still the same as the time he was using him for his own good. And that; was making Hyukjae feeling more sick of himself now.

‘I’m sorry, Siwon. I really am.’ He whispered. Hyukjae wanted a change, and he wanted a forgiveness. A forgiveness from the innocent Kyuhyun. He wasn't sure if Kyuhyun would still looked at him the same when he confessed everything, but Hyukjae wanted a clean cut. He wanted Kyuhyun know this side of him, only then he think he can love Kyuhyun purely, without being insecure about himself anymore. Without he needed to dirtied his hand, or without any other soul being ripped away because of him. And of course, without him needed to be a monster. He just wanted a fresh start for new life, a life he wanted to spend with Kyuhyun. But if Kyuhyun couldn't be the same when he had done confessed all his sins later, Hyukjae might choose the second option he was having. Because death was just the same with not being able to be loved by Kyuhyun.   

‘Don’t run at the hallway.’ A woman around eighteen shouted to the kids. The kids ignored her and keep on chasing each other. ‘Kids nowadays really have no respect on elder.’ She said when she was being ignored, making the person next to her chuckled. ‘Nothing is fun, Principal.’

‘Come on, Haerin. I told you to not call me that way.’ The man said, shaking his head. A little laugh still escaped from his mouth. She was about to retort back when his phone on his pocket ringing. The woman bowed a little; take her leave to give some space for him to answer.

The man looked at his still ringing phone, still debating himself whether to answer or not. He finally decided to answer after the phone rang for about four to five times. He pressed the green button, but no voice let out from him.

‘Kyu…’ He heard the voice he had being longing for months called out for his name. ‘Kyu…’ A little sob comes out from the voice he had being missing so much. ‘Kyu… please answer me.’ He bites his lips, didn’t care if he already bleeds it or not, all he wanted is to not answer to the voice. ‘Kyu, please…’ He held the bar at the stairs tightly; feeling himself is going to collapsed anytime soon for hearing that voice pleading calling for him. ‘Kyu… please… just answer me. I need to hear you.’ It was such a torture for him to make the other become like that because of him. But Siwon just died, and in respect of him, he held himself from dashed to him, wrapping him tightly in his hug, claiming him back as his. No, Kyuhyun couldn’t do that. He had promised to let him go to Siwon, to himself. More sobs coming from the other lines when they conversation, no, his conversation got no answer from him. And the phone call keep going like that, the other was sobbing and nothing comes from Kyuhyun.

Hyukjae wiped away his tears after half an hour crying through the line. Although he got no answer from Kyuhyun, he knew the other was listening. 

I know... This is very unexpected to you. But then this is one of the original version of this story, this side of Hyukjae was ought to be revealed sooner, but then I couldn't find it fit at anywhere. It may be a turn-table to you, or even a twist, but for me it wasn't. This is the reason why I couldn't let Hyukjae being with Kyuhyun easily, because Hyukjae was still haven't confess. But now he did and planned to do it to Kyuhyun, you can predict what I have inside my palm for this story already.

Enjoy everyone~~