Jane couldn’t take her mind of those pictures. She knew that if she pissed Hyesu off too much she would send those pictures to the media. And while she was worried about herself, Seunghyun was more on her mind. Sure, people would say that she was just a trainee who seduced Big Bang’s T.O.P to gain popularity and ensure her debut. But that wasn’t too big. She was still a no-name in Korea. Her name wasn’t anywhere and she wouldn’t be the first trainee dropped by YG. But Seunghyun… His career could end because of her. And she knew just how many things he had to get where he was today. She had to make sure that he wouldn’t suffer.

She was at YG trying to finish the lyrics to a song for her monthly assignment. She would be reviewed by YG tomorrow and she still had to finish writing and learning the lyrics. Her situation with Seunghyun was the only thing on her mind. She started scribbling her feelings for him. Before long she filled a whole page. She then decided to change the lyrics and sing about her feelings for the man she had grown to care deeply about.  Not an hour later she looked at the result:

I can’t look at you even when I have my eyes open
I can’t find your heart which has become cloudy amongst the worn out memories
I can’t do more because I’m tied and cried too much
No matter how much I think, I think I’ll be okay when if I see you

I want to protect you… even your bad habits make me smile when I’m tired
Although it may be difficult, I’m going to say that I love you until the day you first come into my arms

I can’t smile, I can’t remember even when I smile
today also feels like it may disappear like a dream when I open my eyes
Even when I see you, I feel like you aren’t with me
I guess I’m still awkward at expressing my feelings… to love you

I want to protect you… even your bad habits make me smile when I’m tired
Although it may be difficult, I’m going to say that I love you until the day you first come into my arms

Will you become happy when you leave me to find a different warmth?
Even so I can’t let you go baby
It’s going to hurt even more than dying

I love you.. more than anyone… no, I’m next to you
I’m holding your hand
I can’t give you to anyone else’s arms
my heart cannot let you go…why

It was exactly how she felt. She knew that with the latest threat he would be better off without her, but she couldn’t imagine her life without him. He had grown to be a very important part in her life.

The next day she was with the other four trainees in a practice room waiting for YG sajangnim to arrive. Hyesu kept throwing Jane dirty meaningful glances. Jane was more nervous than ever. It would be the first time she would sing something she had composed herself. It was also the first time they would have to sing and dance solo so it was something new.

“Jane, are you okay?” Aera asked seeing Jane more nervous than ever.

Jane jumped slightly feeling Aera’s hand on her shoulder.

“Uhm, yes. I’m just really nervous. It’s the first time I’m going to sing something I wrote and that’s why I am so nervous” Jane said. It wasn’t entirely true but it wasn’t a lie either. She was very nervous about that but she couldn’t shake Seunghyun off her mind.

When YG came everyone jumped up and bowed. The surprising thing was that he wasn’t alone. He was followed by G-Dragon who bowed and smiled at the trainees. When he saw Jane he smiled wider and gave her the thumbs up. Hyesu was the first to sing. Jane followed soon after. She grabbed the mike and started singing. As she was singing tears started falling down her face. She put her entire being in the song and sang like never before. When she finished she bowed and went back to sit on a bench. She looked at Aera who was shocked.

“Did I do well?” Jane asked silently,

“Well? I’ve never heard a more beautiful song in my life. You were singing like your life depended on it. I’m so jealous” Aera said proud of her friend.

“If you only knew” Jane thought.

After everyone finished singing and dancing, it was time for feedback from the CEO.

“Well, this was unexpected. I had a lot of surprises at this assignment. I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’m going to give you feedback” the man said in his nasal voice. “Hyesu, you were over confident. Honestly, this was one of your worst performances. I don’t know what’s happening, but if it happens again you’re going to be dropped. And I told you to drop your accent. Jane… well done. I see you’ve improved. I want you to work more on writing and composing. And don’t forget your piano. Hyemi, you’ve caught a cold. Take care of yourself. Your voice was shaky and you look too tired. Aera, your singing was almost professional level. I want you to work with Jane on writing and composing from now on. Hana, you need to make more vocal exercises. Your range is still not good enough.” He finished.

“After next month’s assignment I’m going to make some decisions. So I expect you to work extra hard. Goodbye” the CEO said and left the room.

Jiyong went straight to Jane as soon as his boss left the room. “I want to talk to you. Come outside” he said and Jane followed wondering what it could be about.

“What’s going on?” he asked when they were outside.

“What do you mean?” Jane asked confused.

“Jane, I know you. You’re always sad nowadays. Even hyung is worried about you. And that song… that is not a song a happy person would write. I am a composer. I know what I’m talking about” Jiyong said straight forwardly.

“It’s nothing. I’m just really tired. And I miss home. That’s all” Jane said brushing it off. She did not want him to know about her problems.

“Are you sure? Have you and hyung fought?” he pressed the matter.

“No, no. It’s nothing like that. Don’t worry. Just focus on your work” the girl said forcing a smile.

“If there’s ever something bothering you, come to me” he said and hugged her.

“Okay. Thank you Jiyong oppa.”

That evening she was forced by Junghee to go out and have some fun. She only accepted because she hadn’t seen her in quite some time and because Seunghyun was in Japan filming for his new movie.

“You’re always either studying, or at YG these days. You’re working too much. And the guys miss you. You have to come, even if it’s only for an hour” Junghee said on the phone.

“Okay, I’m coming.”

“Yay! See you at 8 at the usual restaurant.”

Everyone was happy to see Jane. Especially Alex, who complained about letting him be the only foreigner in a group of Korean punks. Though, to their chagrin, Jane left after just an hour. She went back to the YG building to work on some new songs. She was in a practice room sitting at a piano and practicing her piano as well. She suddenly realized she was thirsty. She went to the vending machine to get some water. By the time she was back she saw an envelope on the piano. She opened it to see some more pictures. A couple of them were of her and Jiyong hugging that very same day, after the monthly assignment. The others were of her and Alex looking very close today at the restaurant. There was a note as well:

“I know the truth about these pictures, but Seunghyun doesn’t, now does he?” 

AN: New chapter guys! Just a disclaimer: that lovely song is actually Jaejoong's "I'll protect you" from his drama "Protect the boss." All credit goes to him. We're just pretending Jane wrote it for the sake of the fic. Oh, and credit for the translation goes to PinKraZy from DBSKCassIndo blog.
Anyways, enjoy! :D