Ivy’s POV

I can’t… concentrate in any way to write my entry for the competition. I just can’t.

 I feel so bad about what happened with Hanbyul. Since two days before that I announced to him my stupid, ing decision… We haven’t talked since then.

  He isn’t picking up my calls.

 Neither the rest of the boys.

I’m in panic that something bad may have happened. But I guess that Gae In and Fumi would have found out if so. They are dating Kyumin and Hyoseok after all.

  What should I do now?

 There’s Monday, of course… He will attend the exams. I’m gonna see him then… Right?

I looked at the blank online form that I have in front of me, at the competition’s webpage.

 Now the competition, exams on Monday.

Anything else?

I sighed and felt Rome’s hand on my back. He came here, so as I’m telling him the whole story of that past incident that has been ruining me until even now. He was pretty puzzled after hearing the story.

«I’d never believe that a bastard like this guy could ever make you feel insecure or so dam sad.»

«I was much younger you know.»

I turned to look at him and he smiled.

«Don’t be sad. Everything will go perfectly. I can help you til the end and you can count on me, you know that, right?» he sat next to me.

I nodded slowly.

«I know, Rome. I’m not sad about that issue, anyway.»

 He seemed curious.

«Then… what is it? How can I help you? Tell me, please.» he held my hands.

I know he expects that something more will come out from this plan of mine. He probably thinks that we might end up together again. It’s obvious. So… I can’t tell him my feelings over Hanbyul in any way. Not yet, at least.

 I sighed again.

«It’s about the competition. It seems like my brain has stopped working. It must be because I’m extremely nervous these days, with constantly this and that happening.»

He patted my hands.

«I’m sure everything will go fine. Cheer up. That’s what you have been preparing for, during the whole year, right?» he smiled again, even wider.

 I smiled weakly back.

«Thank you for being so supportive. I hope… I hope I’ll make it indeed.» I said and hugged him.

He hugged me tightly back. I never expected that Rome would be such a good friend. He was never an extremely good boyfriend. But he is an amazing friend for sure.

 Maybe because he was used to do so, he bent to kiss me, but he stopped on his own.

«I’m… I’m sorry.» he blushed.

«Thankfully you remembered our deal. Thank you.» I rubbed his head intensely and returned to my screen.

«I should leave you know… You are busy after all. And it would be a shame to miss the last day of the competition, right?» he grinned and got up.

«Thank you for coming Rome. It means a lot that you understand.» I got up and opened the door of my room for him.

«Don’t come downstairs. Stay here and concentrate. And don’t thank me for simply coming. I always want to be able to help you in any way I can.» he patted my head and turned to leave.

«We will talk…»

«Of course, Ivy. Do well, OK?» he smiled.

«I’ll try. Bye.»

I returned to my seat and resting my elbows on my desk, I left my head in my hands.

I know.

You all consider me a heartless person. But I am not heartless.

It killed me that I had to do that to Hanbyul. And especially after I saw that his reaction was such. But what my reaction would be like in my case, I mean, if I was in his place? Probably even worse than that.

Imagine my shock, however, when my cousin called me. To tell me about this person. That is going to invade in my life so unexpectedly again.

Ugh!

I can’t believe what coincidences can bring! Someone must be hating me!

Terribly much!

All these memories and the bad feeling of being ridiculed in front of all our friends at my grandparents’ village, back then, came back at once.

  Causing my usual confidence to disappear at once. I’m less stronger than I was thinking.

  And to save myself… I decided to sacrifice Hanbyul. Good job. I’ve never heard of any other girl on this planet sacrificing the only boy that she has ever fallen for, for her own reasons.

 I’ll never forget how sad his face was…

 How he looked at me, confused at first, a mixture of sad and mad afterwards.

I’m a .

I hate me.

Tears started cutting my eyes. Like for the 1000th time today.

But I’ve learnt that I should use this feeling.

 At least for the competition. Even if it is extreme happiness or sadness… I’ve learnt that my writing becomes much more interesting, when I’m full of an emotion, rather than being completely cool.

So, here we go.

No more tears and looking the ceiling or the floor. I have to write.

The theme is a story, this year, after all. I can use my sadness for this.

Easily.

I touched my keyboard and smiled among my tears.

A sad story then. Like mine.

Youngjun’s POV

You can’t imagine what happened in this house, called the Led Apple house two days ago… You just can’t!

So much yelling, fighting, crying. This had never happened to us again.

It all started when Hanbyul came from outside, where he had met with Ivy.

 I woke up because of the yelling of his parents and his own. They were fighting.

  I didn’t even have an idea how they appeared.

 Kyumin and Hyoseok, that were sleeping with me that day, woke up, too.

We looked at each other with one hundred question marks and got up immediately.

As soon as I opened the door of my room, I saw Kwangyeon standing at the top of the stairs. He was looking at the fight with plain eyes.

 I hurried next to him and so did Kyumin and Hyoseok and I pushed him gently. He seemed startled.

«Oh… you woke up?» he had murmured.

«What the hell is going on?» I asked.

«They came and… At first it was OK, but now, I don’t know what is happening…» he said, and sitting on the top step of the stairs, he was obviously about to cry.

I joined him and hugged him with my left arm. Kyumin and Hyoseok sat behind us, on the floor, getting on their knees to back- hug us.

 We remained like this for I don’t know how long. I don’t know was exactly that made us so sad.  Probably because our friend was going through difficult times and because we could be in his place. But, besides this, we could do nothing. And that was the worse.

  As soon as the fight was over, we had hurried downstairs and found Hanbyul sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands.

 He seemed no good. His eyes were so red, same were his cheeks and lips because of crying.

 We had approached him slowly and sat around him and mainly on the floor.

 «Byuli hyung… What happened?» Kyumin had hardly whispered.

  Hanbyul wasn’t answering at first. Then, everything burst out of him like a total explosion.

  First, it was my turn to be blamed. That stupid video at Kwangyeon’s mobile. I had never thought that a part of my words had been recorded. So, a wrong meaning had come out in the end.

  Hanbyul thought that I or Chusang or Led Apple in general are embarrassed of him. Something that isn’t true.

  We fought a lot, because he was angry. And so, he wasn’t eager to listen to me, to the real meaning of my words.

  So, there were some moments that we were simply screaming to each other. The maknaes didn’t know what to do. However, when Kwangyeon started crying, Hanbyul finally shut it up and let me explain.

  That the only thing that I was saying was that with such a look of his he couldn’t debut for sure.

  And that he should be sensible and realise that and not take it the wrong way.

  After that long fight, we found out what happened with Ivy. And that was terrible. I kept on regretting for every bad word I had told him previously, because he was so hurt. And yes… the feeling was indeed that Ivy is embarrassed of him.

 He was crying so much that his face almost changed for these moments.

 I wonder how we didn’t end up all together crying…

 I don’t know how his mind had become after hearing these things from Ivy. But when he got in, he said to his parents that he doesn’t want to sit for the exams. And that he wants to become a singer. He even told them about StarKim. He was so mad, you see. All these things together made him take the decision that he wasn’t for two years now.

 Of course his parents reacted terribly and that’s why they were fighting like this.

  They even left the house without saying «bye». But it was too sudden for them, too. They had no idea, after all.

 On the other hand,  I understand Hanbyul, too. He has the right to do as he wishes with his life. And I’m proud he did.

  And just like before and after the storm silence comes… After he told us all these things, we all stopped talking.

I, myself, was thinking. I was thinking if Hanbyul is serious about his decisions or he was simply angry. But anger sometimes, can bring positive results.

  And I think I was right. 

 Hanbyul got in my room, walking weirdly.

Well, we aren’t fully in the right path yet. But he’s trying.

He collapsed next to me.

He smells like soju again.

Aish. That’s our problem these two days. He does nothing but drinking.

«Yah, have I told you not to drink?? What did you manage by drinking again??» I yelled at him and pushed him.

«I forget.» he simply rolled and looked at the ceiling.

I sighed.

«You don’t. I bet that you feel the pain even now, Hanbyul. So, now, get over it, huh??» I yelled again.

«Aish… Leave me alone.» he said and tried to get up but I held him back.

«Shut up and sit here, OK?»

Hyoseok appeared on the door, holding a cup of coffee.

«Do you think he’s going to drink it?» he asked me, smiling weakly.

We are all influenced by Hanbyul’s condition. It’s just sensible… We live all together. We are friends. We can’t be seeing him like this. It’s just… too painful.

«I wish he was, but I don’t have any hopes.» I tried to smile back and Hyoseokkie came and sat next to us.

 Kwangyeon and Kyumin are at StarKim. They had to make up some excuses for our absence. For not being able to practice, not even today.

 But I trust them. Hopefully, we will be saved this time, too.

 «Hyung… Don’t be like that…» Hyoseok patted Hanbyul’s head, who has his eyes closed.

«He’s being a jerk and nothing else.» I said, on purpose, loudly.

 Hanbyul’s eyes slowly opened and he looked at me.

«Good people are jerks… You are right.» he said and tied again to get up.

«Sit your ing right here and don’t talk , HUH? I never said that! I never told you to be a bad person! I’m just telling you to have confidence! Don’t hide yourself in the nerdy appearance, just because you are not courageous. You could be the face of our band, if you wanted. You are not ugly, Hanbyul. You choose to be different…» I said, Hyoseok, however, pulling my arm, afraid that I’ll make him worse.

 Hanbyul didn’t move and bit his lip.

 These late days he isn’t wearing his glasses. And he looks much better, if you except the tearful face, of course.

  «But now… This is your chance to change, isn’t it? Unless you don’t want to change. And that’s something completely different.» I finally moved my shoulders and looked away.

 Hyoseok started tapping his fingers on the wooden end of the bed. I know he is feeling awkward. It’s sensible, after all.

 I felt Hanbyul’s hand on my arm.

«But I… I feel trapped in here.» he pulled his clothes and took an-about- to- cry expression.

«I know. That’s why I’m telling you to change! Change hairstyle, clothes, wear contact lenses! Do something! Drinking isn’t the solution, because you are not going to forget any of these things that happened. You just won’t. The only thing you can do is to make sure that it won’t happen again for the same reason.» I supported him to make him sit on the bed better.

He looked at me, his eyes half- closed.

A sob started cutting my throat. It’s so sad to see him like this.

«Help me change then.» he moved his hand weirdly and then his eyes closed again.

I gasped.

«Are you serious about that??» I asked.

«Yeah…» he murmured. «And I’m not even going to these ing exams… I wanna be a singer…» he added, lying on his back again, his head on Hyoseok’s shoulder.

 «No! You should go and sit for the exams, as all of us will! Prove to your parents that you were studying all this time! That you are a person that deserves their respect. That if you wanted, you would easily enter Dentistry. And- of course- you will pick what you like the most, which is singing.»

«Hyung is right, Byuli hyung.» Hyoseok patted his head again.

«Start the makeover… Now!» he moved his hands weirdly again and tried to hold his head still.

 I scratched my head.

«I’m calling Zia noona. She can help us, right?» I looked at Hyoseok and he nodded quickly, making me smile.

I start feeling confident.

But the point is for Hanbyul to feel the same, too.

Hanbyul’s POV

«Mr. Jang, you are late! I didn’t expect it from you!»

  I looked at Mr. Kim and rubbed the back of my head.

 It’s Sunday. The Sunday before the exams. And I am late to take notes and extra material for the first test tomorrow.

 I think that these are the first steps towards becoming a normal person. And not a nerd.

I won’t tell him, though, that the reason that I was late was because I was changing my hair color. LOL. Of course not. I’m not doing that yet. XD

«Why were you late, Mr. Jang?» he asked me and approached me slowly. «I thought that these exams were your priority, huh?»

  I sighed, but looked at him with courage.

 I have to start being a strong man, a selfish and confident artist. Because this side of myself has been kicking for years to come out.

«My mental and physical health is my priority, seongsaengnim. Anything else comes second.» I smiled and took the papers from his hand.

He looked at me over his glasses and raised an eyebrow.

«Are you OK, Mr. Jang?»  he said slowly, a weird smile appearing on his lips.

«Of course. Of course, I am.» I smiled back.

«Then… you are probably in love.»

 I felt an intense pain in my heart.

«Why… why do you say that?» I mumbled.

«Because falling in love can be a reason for someone to be different. And you look different, today, Mr. Jang.» he patted my head.

«I… am different.»

«And in love?»

«Different.»

 The pain doesn’t let me breathe. I feel suffocating.

Got to get out of here.

«Are we OK, seongsaengnim? I got to go somewhere. Some friends… Actually, my best and only friends.» I said calmly.

«Yes, of course, Mr. Jang. Do go. Study well. Or preferably… Relax for today. Tomorrow is the big day. Good luck.» he smiled and offered me his hand for a handshake.

«Thank you. I’ll prefer relaxing for today, too.» I bowed and turned to leave.

  It’s a Sunday, so we can’t go for shopping. But still, we can plan on my new outfit, along with Zia noona.

 That makes me feel a little happier.

 These days I’ve been feeling total . TOTAL.

Nothing goes well. My parents are calling me only to yell at me. Their behavior, however, makes me even more determined to change and be what I want to be.

 Led Apple, my friends, are supportive, at least.

 What would I do without them?

And Ivy… she’s calling all the time…

Ivy.

Different and in love. Yes, I am.
 

 But in love doesn’t necessarily eliminate angry.

Ivy’s POV

 First day of the exams.

I am worried.

Not for the test of course.

When was I worried for tests to be now?

I am for… for Hanbyul.

We aren’t sitting in the same class, because he’s sitting for the University test, while I am sitting for the simple graduation test.

Same do most of my friends.

I saw Led Apple in the class next to mine. And I’m in the same class with Gae In, Minwoo and Rome. The rest of his gang is in the same class as Led Apple. As for Fumino… She might be in the same class as Hanbyul.

I hadn’t predicted that difference. I was sure that I was meeting him today…

But it seems that I won’t.

My heart is in pain.

I was waiting like crazy for this day, just to see him. But… UGH, fate is against me again!

I wanna cry.

The teacher passed by and left in front of me the blank papers, pointing at the spot that I have to write my Personal Information. I looked at him like a total idiot and then remembered to smile and nod.

I feel no well.

I want Hanbyul. My Hanbyul.

To comfort me. To tell me things that will definitely make me feel better. To hug me.

OK, I want him here, because I love him.

I LOVE HIM OK??

I – LOVE- HIM!

:’(

From misschoi: Hi guys!! I know that this wasn't the exact quick thing you were expecting and I'm so sorry for that~ :( But you know how holidays are, don't you?? Please forgive me for being late, even though you were so excited, waiting~ T0T I want to hugely thank you for your support (aka views, comments, subscriptions); it was the best Xmas gift you could have given me!! ^^ I want to wish you (late)Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! Your comments are more than welcomed, as usually~ Take care 'til next time!!! ^^ <3