c/to: monsterLea

 

 

c/to: monsterLea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DARA

 

 

 

“I can’t believe you had with him on your first date. You’re such a .” Bom says over coffee.

 

“Speak for yourself, hooker.” I spat back. “Who was it that had with some guy and then told her best friend about it through voicemail? At least I had the decency to tell you personally.”

 

“Get over yourself, I told you TOP and I met each other way back college. Charity ball wasn’t our first date.”

 

“I can’t believe he went to college with us. How come I never saw him?”

 

“He was a junior in one of my music class. He was already starting to get popular that time so he was really lying low. Nevertheless, he was a good student. Aced all of his exams and was always at the top of the dean’s list.” Bom boasted which made me cringed.

 

“You could’ve stopped at ‘he was a junior in one of my music class’. What was I supposed to do with the information of him being a good student? Offer him a scholarship?”

 

“Boast about Jiyong, too.”

 

I’ll take her on that challenge. “Jiyong has won many awards as a music artist. He had written most of Big Bang songs and all of his solo songs and he is considered a genius in his craft.”

 

“TOP writes his own rap.”

 

“Not the same thing.”

 

“Well, TOP’s great in bed.” Like I care!

 

I scoffed. “You don’t even know. Jiyong got great technique. It’s mind-blowing.”

 

“Mind-blowing? That’s all he got? TOP gives me earth shattering .

 

“Really? Because Jiyong gives me powerful enough to destroy a small island country.”

 

We would’ve continued fighting on whose boyfriend’s is longer if the women beside our table didn’t clear their throats. Bom and I looked at them innocently. I don’t know what their problem is. Talking about your life to your girlfriends is a norm. I don’t get a lot so when I do get it I like to share to people who care.

 

Don’t judge me. I couldn’t care less about Bom’s life before when I was single. Now that I’m getting some, I’d like to compare notes and maybe learn new skills to pleasure my man. My man, boy, do I love the sound of that?

 

Anyway, we probably talked too loudly that’s why they got prudent. Sorry for having a healthy and happy life, prude women of Korea.

 

“Did you tell him you love him yet?” Bom questions afterwards.

 

“No. Not yet.” I inform her.

 

“Why not?”

 

Jiyong and I haven’t discussed about the ‘I love you’ bomb he dropped last week. Well, I haven’t discussed it to him yet. I’ve done everything I can to avoid talking about it including taking advices from Il Woo and Minho.

 

Il Woo really is useless.

 

Oh my God, you’re together. Like officially a couple kind of togetherness. Are you pregnant now? Does that mean I’m finally a god father? OMG, I’ll plan baby showers for you. Can I have one of your kids?

 

That last one got me. Does he think I breed puppies for adoption? Crazy flower boy.

 

At least Minho got sense. No, actually he’s crazy too but his advice worked.

 

If you want to distract a guy from talking about something serious, just show him your . are like kryptonite to us men, they weaken our resolve.

 

Jiyong and I spent every day together and it’s getting pretty obvious that I don’t want to talk about the ‘love’ thing. He’s not pressuring me to say it back or anything but he reminds me about it at least once a day.

 

Good thing Jiyong gets distracted easily. He’s like a little boy and my titays are shiny new toys.

 

 

 

“So, don’t you think we should talk about what I told you the other night and what I’ve been telling you every day? Jiyong asked.

 

“Jiyong look!” I opened my blouse in panic.

 

“Oooohhhhh” He cooed.

 

 

“It’s killing me not telling him that I love him Bom.” I answered. “But don’t you think I should tell him all about me first?”

 

“I think he knows you more than you know yourself, Dara.”

 

“I’m talking about Sanghyun.”

 

She formed to an ‘O’ in understanding.

 

“I feel guilty not telling him everything. Actually all of my secrets make me think I don’t deserve him at all.”

 

Bom sighed, loud and clear. I know she’s irritated in me. Hell, I’m irritated in me. But I can’t help it if I feel responsible for that accident years ago. It is after all my fault that my parents and Sanghyun got into the car.

 

“No one is blaming you for that accident, D. Will you shut up about that already?” She half-yell. “Just talk to him about it wait, no, talk about Sanghyun first. Make him feel sorry for you by saying stuffs about how martyr you are for your brother.”

 

“I’m not gonna use my brother, that’s diabolical.”

 

“Fine, but I’m telling you – he’s gonna be cool about your dreaded past life confession.” She says matter-of-factly.

 

I sit back in my seat and stare at the wall behind her. What if Jiyong hates me? My heart literally hurts just thinking about him hating me.

 

“I’m sorry I keep bugging you about this.” I say to break the silence.

 

“Don’t be. That’s what I’m here for.” She smiles. “You can say your thanks by admitting that your boyfriend is a loser and that my boyfriend is the ultimate alpha male.”

 

“Never gonna happen. Not in this lifetime. Or even the next 100 lifetimes we have.”

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tonight, my beer CF with Lee Minho will be launched. Jiyong doesn’t want to watch it so I decide not to watch it with him.

 

The next day I have to go to the offices earlier than Jiyong to finish some paperwork because at 11 am, Big Bang will have this commercial shoot. I’ve prepared all of his clothes in the car, so all he has to do is drive it to the office so we can load it to the company van that we’d be using to go to the location.

 

When I exited the YG building by 11, I could see Jiyong leaning against the van watching me walk. In a parallel universe, I would probably run squealing into his arms but in this universe, my version is to smile at him tensely and look away.

 

“Hey,” He said, sliding the door of the van to open. I can’t help but notice his rigidness but chose to ignore it for the mean time.

 

The two of us are sharing the van with TOP, Seungri, both of their managers, and two more staffs.

 

“Noona, your CF is hot. You and Lee Minho look good together.” Seungri greeted before I sat down beside him. Jiyong felt tenser beside me.

 

“You’re song is no.1 in music sites as well.” TOP added. “YG-hyung is having the time of his life.”

 

Right. Besides the CF, YG also decided to release the CF song that I recorded with Teddy as a digital single under, of course, the YG label. I admit I was skeptical about his decision because I’m afraid it’ll flop in its own sales. I don’t want him investing too much for me when I’m not even confident with what I’m doing. I mean, he just released a song that if not for Teddy, will sound like a goat singing. What the hell was he thinking doing all these stuffs?

 

In the end, YG’s decisions are final and irrevocable. I’m just thankful that the results, according to TOP, are good.

 

“Noona, can I have your autograph?” Seungri said.

 

“What?”

 

“Back off, Seungri.” Jiyong spat putting his arms around me.

 

 

“Woooooooohhhhhh!!!!” Everybody in the van teased.

 

“Don’t worry, Dara. I’ll protect you.” A staff chimed in imitating Jiyong’s gesture.

 

“My new goal in life is to see you two kiss.” TOP said pushing mine and Jiyong’s head closer.

 

I swat away his hand before pinching Jiyong, “This is why I told you to keep quiet about us.”

 

“It was partly your fault.” He retorted. “Why would you give me a hickey behind my neck? Of course I can’t cover something I can’t immediately see.”

 

More teasing ensued as I felt my face turned red.

 

“Advertise it if you must. God, I can’t stand you.” I told him.

 

“The feeling is mutual.”

 

We looked away at each other as the inside of the van quieted down with us.

 

“You think now that they’re official, the fighting would be less edgy. I guess we were all wrong.” TOP shared.

 

 

The one hour ride to the location was spent in awkward silence all because of me and Jiyong. I know it’s petty but this is how we do it. Having feelings for each other can’t stop us from having endless childish fights.

 

With this in mind, I wonder how he’ll react if I eventually throw him something as serious as my family issues.

 

I felt my phone vibrate in my bag. I looked for it and was surprise to see a message from Jiyong. I turn my head to him and saw his hands under his coat that he placed above his lap. I instinctively hid my phone inside my bag again and when I was sure that nobody is watching me, I started reading his text.

 

From: Mr. Know it all

To: Dara.

Message: How could you kiss that bastard Lee Minho 100x?

 

My brows furrowed when I replied.

 

From: Dara

To: Mr. Know it all

Message: Whut?!

 

From: Mr. Know it all

To: Dara.

Message: I read in some forums that you took the kiss scene at least 100x. AT LEAST??? Please confirm.

 

I felt myself smiling. Is this why he’s so edgy earlier up until 10 minutes ago after our small fight?

 

From: Mr. Know it all

To: Dara.

Message: Don’t smile. Nothing is funny.

 

I look up at him and smiles even though he told me not to but I can tell that he is kind of serious.

 

From: Dara

To: Mr. Know it all

Message: That kiss doesn’t even matter. I don’t want anything ruining my current relationship with you so don’t let your jealousy eat you.

 

Gosh, he’s so cute. I can’t even…

Anyway, one thing that can definitely ruin our relationship is secrets. My secrets. Why can’t I just man-up and tell him. Maybe I should text him. Hey Ji, I have a brother and I’m the reason why he’s in coma.

 

From: Mr. Know it all

To: Dara

Message: Don’t say it.

 

What the ! Did I really text him that? Can he read my mind? I’m almost on a panic attack when another message arrives.

 

From: Mr. Know it all

To: Dara

Message: Don’t tell me it was no big deal. I don’t care about your words of wisdom. I don’t want another man touching my woman!

 

Swwwooonnn!!! Wait, thank God I didn’t text him about my brother. On that note, Swwwoooooonnnn!!!

 

From: Dara

To: Mr. Know it all

Message: Fine I won’t say it. I’ll just think it.

 

I love you. I love you. My brother’s in a comma because of me. Can you still love me? There is nothing more important than talking to him about this now.

 

From: Mr. Know it all

To: Dara

Message: I have a great idea. How about you take my mind off my jealousy by having with me in the dressing room later when we have a break?

 

Okay, this might trump the talk about my brother.

 

From: Dara

To: Mr. Know it all

Message: K.

 

Beside me, Jiyong look down on his phone and then back up the window stifling a wide grin while I look straight ahead with a knowing smile plastered in my face.

 

“Are you diddling your private parts underneath your bag and coat, Dara and Jiyong?”

 

“TOP!”

“HYUNG!”

 

Jiyong and I yelped at the same time our heads jerked around to where TOP is seated. Seungri immediately leaned over and inspect what we’re doing.

 

“No. I think they’re just ting.” He shared.

 

Jiyong growls and narrowed his eyes at Seungri.

 

“Oh we’re here!” He says as he opens the door to his side and stepped down the van. Everybody else follows him at the same time.

 

“And that is why I don’t want people knowing about us.” I deadpan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

 I understand that Jiyong avoids getting jealous by not watching the final product of my projects. Now I fully understand why.

 

Watching him act lovey-dovey with another girl pricked something in my heart. I know it’s just acting but still.

 

But because I’m a mature woman, I can easily render the impending burst of jealousy. I can hold it in much longer. All I need to do is turn my back and not watch the sickening scene in front of me.

 

I decided to hang-out with the boys that are on break in the dressing room. I instantly felt disdain when I found out that TOP is the only one remaining on the room.

 

“Where are the others?” I ask.

 

“Do I look like their nanny?” he replied.

 

I was ready to get out of the room when he started saying something, “Bom said you are having problems with Jiyong?”

 

That caught me off guard. “Don’t you and Bom have anything better to do than talk about me behind my back?”

 

“Pfft. Besides have awesome , we talk about Jiyong too.”

 

Gross. I talk about my life with my girlfriends but talking about it with my guy friends especially with someone like TOP is a whole other thing. Gag much!

 

“Come on, you can tell me what the problem is.” He urged while patting the seat beside him.

 

I hesitantly sat down preparing how to ask him without really telling him the details. Nobody in YG knows about Sanghyun and I know that Bom will not say anything about him to TOP. At this point I want Jiyong to be the first one to know.

 

I was still thinking for an opening statement when he started bombarding me with brain-exploding words. “Is it the ? Is Jiyong not performing well? Because I’m telling you maybe he’s just stressed about work or the fact that you are finally a couple. Did Bom tell you about the move she does with her fingers in my balls whenever I’m stressed out.”

 

My eyes widen as the word ‘ew’ came out of my mouth. “First of all, that’s disgusting. I would’ve slept a whole lot better tonight if you hadn’t shared that and second, we are not having problems and even if we do, there is no way in hell am I talking to you about it!”

 

“Okay, Nancy. Calm down. I was just concluding things since you’re not saying anything. So, what is this problem that is not about ?”

 

“Let’s say hypothetically,” I started. "I had a big secret. And I’m afraid that Jiyong will get mad at me if I tell him about it.”

 

“Are you cheating? I don’t care if you’re a girl, I’m gonna punch you in the gut if you are.”

 

“What? No. I’m not cheating. Gosh! And remember, this is just hypothetical.” I defended.

 

“We all know what hypothetical questions mean--,”

 

“Will you just answer?!”

 

“Okay. I think he’ll get hypothetically angrier if you hypothetically prolong your hypothetical big secret.”

 

Aurgh! He’s right. “But how do I tell him? It’s hard especially knowing that he’ll get mad at me.”

 

“How about if you tell him hypothetically?” TOP suggested.

 

“How about if I punch you, actually? I said. “Come on TOP. I’m in serious dilemma here. You’re dating my best friend; I’m entitled to use you.”

 

“Who the hell made that rule?” He asked, flabbergasted.

 

“Bom did.”

 

“In that case, use me all you want.” He said opening his arms.

 

“Stop! I needed your evil brains right now. Not your body. Not ever! Think please.”

 

“First off, what is this big secret of which you speak, Miss Dara? Why are you so hell-bent just thinking about admitting it?

 

I stare at him for a long time thinking of a way to get out of this situation when he suddenly started going crazy.

 

“NO! NO!!!! Dara I told you, my heart belongs to Bom now. I can’t love you back. Just forget about your feelings for me and move on with Jiyong. He loves you a lot. He can help you get over me.”

 

“Oh for ’s sake, how do you fit your ego through the door?” I asked as the sound of the door opens stopping TOP’s delusions.

 

A staff interrupted us to tell TOP that it is his turn to film.

 

 

“Dara,” TOP called before leaving. “It doesn’t matter. He already said he loves you. Hell, he talks about you like you’re a display in the national museum. I think that’s proof enough that he’ll accept you no matter what your flaws are.”

 

“You think so?”

 

He rolled his eyes. “I know so.”

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

When we got back to YG building, Jiyong got out and help me. He did the same thing when we transferred to his car. I’m still driving though. But now, instead of the usual ‘You drive,’ He’s all like, ‘can you drive so I can watch you.’ And I always give in because I’m such an easy girl.

 

I started the car and shifted gears without even looking at him. I hadn’t really looked at him since we left the filming site.

 

“Are you alright?” he asked.

 

“Yeah.” Tell him about Sanghyun now! “Just hungry. Are you hungry?” I still didn’t look at him. In this case, I’d never get to say it.

 

“Is this about the girl in the CF?” he asked. I realized that he was waiting for it to be a jealousy thing. Interesting.

 

“No.” I said. “Should it be?”

 

“No.”

 

“Okay. Are you hungry?”

 

“No. Are you jealous?”

 

“No.” I shook my head then turn my head to him. “A little.”

 

“You seem calm.” He said it like a question.

 

“We’re you expecting me to throw a big tantrum over it?” I raised an eyebrow. “You really like that sort of thing, don’t you?”

 

“No,” he sounded defensive. “I just thought, you know, before you get mad about everything, we can talk about it first but you seem like you don’t even care so...I guess…” he trailed off.

 

“Why do you want to talk about it? Are you gonna go into details about how you charm that poor little girl and how she fell for you like a superficial princess? Do you want me to get mad about that?”

 

“I thought it was my turn to make you feel jealous after you fake made out with that bastard Lee Minho but clearly my plan didn’t work.”

 

“You had a plan? I didn’t even notice.” Now I just have to laugh.

 

“Shut up! It failed already, I don’t need you rubbing it in. So annoying.” He crossed his arms into his chest and puffed out some air.

 

I’m declaring this day as cute-Jiyong day!

 

“Do you mind if we stop somewhere? Too much jealousy makes me hungry.” I said just to humor him. But he didn’t answer.

 

“No?” I said then. “Do you want me to fix us some midnight snack? Kimchi fried rice.”

 

He beamed at me. “Yes. Can I watch?”

 

I smiled. “You’re ridiculous.”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Just like what we talked about in the car, I cooked and Jiyong watched.

 

He just watched and smiles like he’s so happy to see me slave myself. Okay, I’m exaggerating but would it hurt him to offer a hand in anything. I want him to be a gentleman now.

 

I just finished putting up my hair in a ponytail when he immediately tugged it off.

 

“Hey!” I yelled (weakly).

 

“Have you tried cooking with just an apron on?” he asked as he twists his arm around my waist.

 

“You mean cooking in ? No. I don’t think that’s sanitary.”

 

“Can you try it? For me.” He blinked his eyes three times per second in an attempt to be cute.

 

It’s totally working!

 

“You want to watch me cook while I’m ? You’re a ert,” I said, shaking my head. “But perhaps.”

 

He smiled cheekily and pushed us towards the kitchen counter.

 

I totally like where this is going.

 

“Um…I thought you want to see me while cooking.”

 

“Yes, but right now I just want to see you . I missed you so much.” He said running his mouth in my shoulder, getting me all hot.

 

“That’s stupid.” I told him. “We we’re together the whole day.” His hands are on my hips and I was nosing the collar of his shirt.

 

“Not all the time.” he whined.

 

I didn’t reply. Instead I rolled my toes upward, pulled his face closer to mine and kiss the corner of his mouth. He moves his face to catch my lips and at the same time lifted me up on the counter.

 

I tried to kiss him softly but there’s always something about Jiyong that made me desperate and so I kissed him harder.

 

He pulled away, “There is something I want to know.”

 

“Now?” Seriously?

 

He his lips and asked, “What’s in your head when you kiss someone while acting?”

 

I sighed. “Jiyong--,”

 

“I’m sorry for asking. But nobody told me I was the jealous type. If I had known about this disease then I would’ve done something about it. But never have I felt so drawn back just by the knowledge about my girlfriend kissing just anyone because it’s part of her job. Especially now that I see that you can’t even empathize the same feeling of jealousy even after seeing me kissing someone else earlier. I felt a little insecure. So please just answer me for the sake of my sanity, what’s in your head when you kiss someone while acting?”

 

“Nothing.” I answered immediately. Will anyone call me a freak because I think I can get off with just him being all sweet without even noticing it?

 

“It can’t be just ‘nothing’. I’m sure you’re thinking of something.”

 

Okay. “My next line.”

 

“Understandable.” He said thoughtfully. “Is that all?”

 

“Hmm…If I should angle my head a little to the right because I don’t think the camera can see me and I don’t want the director yelling ‘cut’ and say ‘let’s do another take’. I hate kissing strangers.”

 

This made him laugh. “How about when you kiss me, then?”

 

I don’t even have to think about that one.

 

“Bed.”

 

“That’s it?” His face closing in on mine again.

 

He gave my neck little kisses as I recite what’s on my mind. “Me . You . Us together. The way you make me feel when we’re . The way I hope I make you feel when we’re . I think about that not just when we’re kissing, by the way. I think about that a lot these days.”

 

I felt him smile smugly against my neck, “Tell me more.”

 

I took off his shirt first before launching in, “Have I mentioned how much I love your tattoos? No? Well, I love them. I especially love to run my tongue all over them. I think that it’s hot how my man got all these tats, may it look bad- or cute.”

 

He groaned. “I love it when you call me your man.”

 

I shrugged, “I love calling you my man even when you’re acting like such a boy.”

 

“Didn’t you say you like younger men?”

 

“I did.”

 

He tugged down my hair as he marked me deeply in the skin where my neck and shoulder meet.

 

“So since we’ve establish that I’m your man, you won’t mind me calling you ‘baby’?”

 

It’s my turn to shrug, “Maybe I’ll get used to it.”

 

“Yeah?” He took my lips in a long sensual kiss before abruptly breaking it.

 

“Baby, do you mind taking all of your clothes off while I go grab the ? I wanna do you right here in the counter.”

 

“Go grab the whole box.”

 

 

 

***

 

 

We didn’t get to eat anything else but each other that night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a/n:

I didnt get to say anything in the last chapter so i'll say it now....

THANK YOU!!!!

to all of you who subscribed

especially those that leaves comments every chapter...

you dont know how much your thoughts means to me..

it's like passing a report to my teacher(you) and having you grading it highly!!!

A bunch of thanks and hugs and kisses to all of you...

 

so now,

Jiyong and Dara sitting on the counter

K-I-S-S-I-N-G...and doing everything else..

I'll leave you with this chapter and jope to see you soon...

xoxo

 

 

 

P.S.

Special shout out and million thanks to my fellow appler and cyber friend monsterLea for my awesome posters!!

Keep rockin' girl!

How d'you like it?