c/to: monsterLea

 

 

 

 

 

DARA

 

I’ve dated a couple of guys before but I don’t remember being this nervous I want to throw up. My heart is racing like crazy it feels like it’ll tear my chest open and jump out. And I haven’t even stepped out of the house yet.

 

Seriously, what’s wrong with me?!

 

This is just Kwon Jiyong.

 

I’ve been having dinner with this guy for three years. How is tonight any different?

 

Is it because I just found out that I am in love with him?

 

Big deal!

 

This date was essentially forced down our throats. It’s not exactly as romantic as I hoped our first real date would be. This is a work thing. And God how badly I wanted it to be real!

 

Even if it’s not real I still took an effort into prettying myself up for tonight. You know, just in case…

 

After wrapping up my beer CF with Lee Minho, I hurried back to my house to prepare. I told Jiyong to meet me up in the restaurant because I don’t want him walking around my house while I go crazy getting ready.

 

I took a bath and shampooed my hair twice (I used the shampoo that he likes), I put on minimal make-up that says: I love you but this is a not a real date so I have to get a hold of myself. I even curled the ends of my hair. And finally, after days of window shopping with Bommie and some stylist friends, I picked up a burgundy dress that stopped three inches above my knees and hugged me in all the right places and a pair of velvet red strappy shoes that Bom says will take Jiyong’s imagination into territory.

 

 Now I’m regretting all of these.

 

I took extreme measure to be beautiful tonight but what if Jiyong shows up in hip-hop clothes. I’d strangle him. But I didn’t precisely tell him how the charity date is going to be. It’s not going to be his fault if he wears baggy clothes on because he thought this will be just another dinner out with his manager.

 

this! I should change.

 

It was in this thought that my phone started ringing.

 

“Are you ready? Jiyong is already waiting for you.” Bom greeted.

 

“What is he wearing?” I asked.

 

“How would I know?”

 

“What if he’s wearing something casual? I’d only look like an idiot with this overly pretty dress. I should change don’t you think?” My voice sounded so worried. Geez.

 

“You’re wearing that dress or I’m stabbing you.” She threatened. “Listen, you’re going to be great. You love him and he loves you--,”

 

“He does not love me.” I interrupted but she doesn’t seem to hear me.

 

“—this is your first date and its gonna rock. Just don’t do anything stupid like…” she paused to think. “Talk about he’s next schedule or your next project.”

 

“Oh my God. Those are the exact same topics that I had been planning to talk to him about. And you said I shouldn’t? What are we supposed to talk about now?”

 

I can see it. I can see Jiyong stomping all over my feelings for him because I’m such a loser.

 

“What? You’re aware that this a date right, not a business meeting. Talk to him about his favorite color.”

 

“It’s yellow.”

 

“Well don’t tell me. Talk to him about it.”

 

“What is there to talk about the color yellow?” I bellowed out of frustration.

 

“What about his favorite food?”

 

“Korean.”

 

“How about his pet? Didn’t he have a dog?”

 

“Gaho is in his parent’s house. I just delivered a bag of dog food and some dog supplements for him last week.”

 

Bom was then quiet for a while on the other line which made my nervousness rose up the roof.

 

“You’re in trouble.” She said. “Getting to know each other is the main point of a first date but you already know a lot about him so...” she trailed off.

 

“Thank you so much for your encouragement my dear best friend. I appreciate it.”

 

“It’ll be fine. Just let him do the talking then.” She added.

 

“Can I just not go?”

 

“You did not just say that!!!” It was her turn to bellow. “You cowardly piece of crap. You’re acting like such a huge pansy-. Total turn-off. Boooo!!!”

 

“Okay, okay.” God! How old are we? “I’m going. But if ever I die out of embarrassment, remember, I wanted to be cremated.”

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

Feeling distressed, I gave a weak smile to the attendant at the door of the restaurant. I was surprised to see the place empty. I arranged the date to be in a high-end restaurant so that rabid fans won’t distract us but I wasn’t expecting the foundation to make it this private.

 

I spotted Jiyong right away because he’s sitting in the only table placed in the middle of the room.

 

Wow! The charity foundation had gone all out.

 

It’s like a fairy tale inside the restaurant.

 

Balloons of different colors are trapped in the ceiling creating a wonderful effect when contrasted with the semi-dim lighting. Smokes from what I guess are dry ice are coming out everywhere and dancing on the floor. From where I’m standing, I can see the only table in the center decorated with candles and flower petals are scattered on and around it.

 

My favorite part of this whole setting is Jiyong himself.

 

He stood up and watched me when I started approaching him. I love the way that half-smile of his lights up his entire face after seeing me.

 

And holy ! He looks amazing. The most perfect thing I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s effortlessly elegant and at the same time dashingly y in his crisp tux. It takes all of my willpower not to sprint towards him and tackle him to the ground.

 

And that ladies and gentlemen is the future father of my children!

 

Okay focus now. Bommie said to compliment him with his looks. That’ll make him think that you’re attracted to him and if he compliments you back it means he’s attracted to you too.

 

“You look really nice.” I said. He’s beyond nice-looking you moron.  He’s a God in a suit.

 

“Thank you.” He replied guiding me to take my seat right across from him. The waitress then appeared and stood at our table.

 

What? Is that it?

 

“Sorry, I was kinda late. This dress is really hard to get into.” I tried again emphasizing my dress so that he can comment on my looks.

 

He flinched and smiled, and then asked the waitress for a bottle of Moscato.

 

What the hell?

 

“Does wine stain silk?” I asked the waitress this time. “I’m real clumsy sometimes and I really don’t wanna ruin this dress. It’s really pretty, don’t you think?”

 

Tell me I look nice oh dear waitress, then maybe Jiyong will follow.

 

“This particular wine doesn’t really stain so I’m sure you’re good.” The waitress said with a smile.

 

Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind, miss.

 

I turn to Jiyong and saw him concentrating on the menu. Freaking hell!

 

“What do you think of my make-up, Ji? Jiyeon taught me some new techniques in applying make-up.” I told him while impatiently tapping my feet on the floor. You get that I will stop at nothing to get a compliment, right.

 

“Jiyeon taught you well.” He said. The waitress snickered faintly and I wanted to die. Even the waitress knew I was fishing for compliment and Jiyong just won’t give it.

 

“This dress is new.” I just can’t stop it with the dress, can I?

 

“I notice.”

 

“I curled my hair.” I tried again.

 

“Is that permanent?”

 

Son of a !

 

I can tell that the waitress is dying to run to the kitchen and laugh her out. She must be G-dragon’s fan and finds me real pathetic.

 

I am so not tipping her.

 

I glared at her and as I was crossing my arms to my chest to solidify my annoyance, I accidentally jostled the table making it shake a little.

 

“Are you alright?” Jiyong asked while I rubbed my arm.

 

No! I’m not alright. Because I love you and you won’t love me back if you don’t even compliment me on how I look tonight!

 

“I’m great! Let’s order.”

 

The waitress left after we’ve placed our order and at this point, I‘ve figured out that Jiyong doesn’t have a crush on me anymore. I knew it. It was just a phase for him. I want to hit myself with a plate for going ahead and falling in love with him.

 

Can people retract feelings?

 

I don’t want to be in love with Jiyong anymore. He’s stupid and doesn’t know how to make a girl feel good.

 

“Okay, I didn’t want to say this earlier because the waitress was here and I thought it was inappropriate,” Jiyong started talking. “But you look so goddamn beautiful and y tonight. And I know this’ll get me punch but I’ll say it anyway because I think I’ll burst out if I keep everything in so here goes; even though you look really hot right now with that dress, I can’t help but imagine how hot you’d look when you’re . I’m sorry, please spare my life.”

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

 

If he say it like that…

 

I laugh shakily. “I’ll forgive you for thinking that if you forgive me for wanting to rip that tux off your body using my teeth.”

 

He laughed out loud.

 

I don’t understand why. I’m not kidding.

 

Well, at least now I know he’s physically attracted to me. But that’s not enough. I’m not trying to be conceited or anything but I do look hot and any hot-blooded guy would be attracted to me. I just don’t want him to be like those other guys who treated women as a hot piece of he can enjoy for a while and then replace afterwards.

 

I want him to love me. And probably have babies with me. No, that doesn’t sound creepy at all.

 

I can’t exactly say what I feel without expecting him to shoot me down. I mean this is Jiyong we’re talking about. I can’t just drop that bomb on him, walk away if rejected, and never see him ever again. I’m his manager, we work on the same company and I’m on a bound contract. I’ll have to deal with his looks of pity for me and while I sulk in the corner with my unrequited love, he moves on with his life marrying some rich, pretty girl who bakes cupcakes and probably doesn’t nag.

 

“Enjoy your meal.” The waitress said to me with a smirk after settling our food.

 

“Thanks.” I say back sweetly. “Enjoy your…waitressing.”

 

Our food was served but it didn’t really help the quietness of our situation.

 

Let him do the talking you say. He hasn’t opened his mouth since his malicious comment earlier. He just sits there with his glorified gorgeousness while I try and keep myself from drooling.

 

On the other hand though, this silence kind of has its perks. It allows me to steal glances at his incredibly perfect profile. He’s prominent jaw line, that y mouth. I bet he’s a fantastic kisser. He darted his tongue out to wet his lips before eating and God!!! I want to touch his tongue with my tongue!!!

 

My eyes helplessly trail down his neck that is long and able. His shoulders and arms that are not too broad but encased me fully and comfortably. When I finally get back to his face, I realize he was watching me openly check him out.

 

Oh my god! So embarrassing.

 

I met his amused gaze for a split second before I turn my eyes away while touching the corners of my mouth to check if there was drool. I can come up of an excuse for staring but how will I explain my drooling.

 

Thank God there weren’t any drool.

 

Shucks! It’s bad enough that just opening a casual conversation between us had become a challenge now I don’t even know how to act around him. Nice? Flirty? Or should I just continue on making a fool of myself?

 

That’s sounds more fun.

 

Jiyong’s amuse gaze haven’t faltered yet when he started talking, “I’ve never seen you this quiet. Are you nervous?”

 

Ha! Am I that obvious?

 

“No.” I replied. “Are you?”

 

He smiled. “No. But you really do look pale. Are you sure you’re alright?”

 

“Yeeeaaah.” I said too smugly. “I just didn’t put on a lot of blush-on. You know I’m naturally pale.”

 

Naturally pale?

 

“If you say so…” He looked thoughtful.

 

“Did you finish filming your CF?” He asked.

 

“Yeah.” I answered.

 

“When is it gonna air?”

 

“Next week.”

 

He nodded.

 

Oh no. We’re going to business meeting territory. Bom said this is stupid. Quick, I need to change subjects.

 

“Ooooh, this is a good song, Jiyong! Do you know this song?” I asked enthusiastically.

 

He looked at me like I’m insane. “I wrote this song.”

 

It was then that I realize that Big Bang’s very own song ‘Ego’ is the one that was playing in the air.

 

me! me! me! Of all people, I should be the one to know all of Jiyong’s songs. Could I get any stupid-er? Epic fail, Dara. Epic fail.

 

“I know. I was just making sure you remembered. Anyway, this steak is good right?”

 

“It is.”

 

“Do you like steak?” Now I’m just mumbling nonsense but whatever.

 

“I do.”

 

“I can cook you one some time. I mean not as good as this. I’m not that good a cook. Have you notice I only ever feed you sandwiches and salads and anything that can be done in less than 10 minutes? Cooking really isn’t my forte and I hate cleaning too. You can say I’m like a slob boy when it comes to household chores, actually. I’m crap and lazy and a nagger. No wonder I’m still single. Ha-ha.”

 

Good job, Dara. Talk him out of liking you. Why don’t you go ahead and make him a list of how unlovable you are?

 

“Ha,” I continued weakly. Then I take a deep breath. “Anyway, the steak is good. And I heard the grilled chicken here is great too. I should’ve ordered grilled chicken and then we could’ve shared it. Like what we always do. Maybe next time I can have you for dinner.” I pause, then my eyes widen in horror. “Oh God, I didn’t mean I’ll have you for dinner! I didn’t mean that! I meant to say eating each other next dinner…! Not that either...”

 

Jiyong dropped his knife and fork, full out laughing now.

 

“Please put me out of my misery.” I plead.

 

“I don’t think I wanted to.” He shook his head. “It’s like watching a train wreck, funnier version.”

 

Maybe now is a good time to excuse myself and go to the ladies room. I just wish one of the stall will open and transport me to Narnia. Immediately!

 

He stopped laughing and looks at me. He watched my eyes, my cheeks, and I’m pretty ing sure that he lingered his gaze into my lips before meeting my eyes again. “Don’t look at me like that, Ji. You don’t know what your smoldering does to me.”

 

He blinked. “My what?”

 

Thank goodness the waiter drops by to refill our glasses. I covered my glass to indicate that I don’t want any more wine.

 

“Can I get you something else?” He asked.

 

“Iced tea, please.”

 

His eyebrow rose and hesmiled at me, “Anything stronger?”

 

I laughed, shrugging. “Do you have anything that would keep me up all night and at the same time won’t give me a kicking head ache tomorrow?”

 

“Coffee.” He charmingly answered.

 

I laughed harder this time, embarrassed for only thinking about alcoholic beverages when clearly coffee can do the trick for me.

 

“Just the iced tea,” Jiyong cut in. I felt a sudden tension in the air.

 

The waiter left to get our drinks after shrewdly smirking at me. But I found myself watching Jiyong again, this time, as he grab his share of wine and gulped it in one go.

 

“Let’s dance.” He then said.

 

“I don’t really feel like dan--,”

 

“Let’s. Dance.” He ground out and I blinked. Next thing I know, my hands are intertwined in his neck and his, clasped my waist as a violinist started playing on the sidelines.

 

Okay.

 

“What’s with the stern tone, Jiyong?”

 

He blew out a breath. “Did he not see me here with you?”

 

“Who?”

 

“The waiter!” He said like it was the most obvious thing.

 

“You’re kidding, right?”

 

“He was all over you. What a .”

 

“He was taking my drink order.” I said, baffled. “You’re being a jerk.”

 

“I’m a jerk?!” He whisper-yell. “You’re a flirt! You’re on a date with me and yet you go flirting with the guy in bow tie.”

 

“Flirting with—what are you smoking crack?”

 

 

Unbelievable!!!

 

 

I should’ve seen this coming. It’s my own damn fault for only thinking about the idea of a date and never considered Jiyong’s personality. The way we’re arguing now reminds me why it took such a long time for me to realize the very much dormant feelings I have for him. It’s like his life-driven feat to always find a chance to piss me off.

 

I open my mouth to gun him down with my ability to scold when I’m suddenly pulled up against him and his mouth crashes down to mine.

 

 

 

 

Okay now, this…this definitely turns me on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a/n:

I know this is short but i honestly don't know what to write next...

I'm contemplating, awkwardness between the two or what everybody seemed to be dying for......

what do you think...comment..comment..comment..

xoxo