I watched you from afar, your smile brightening everyone's day, especially mines. Your loud laughter rang in my ears like music in other's. You were laughing at a joke your friend was telling you, I wonder how funny it must have been for you to start tearing up, I also want to laugh like that. You wiped your tears of joy and stood up at the sound of the bell ringing loudly for everyone to get inside. I followed quietly behind you although we had different classes. I watched you hand in hand with your best friend running to class and then getting scolded by the teacher. You apologized, the teacher smiled. It's not like anyone could stay mad at you for long with that smile of yours. I chuckled silently and head into my own room without anyone noticing. There were perks to being the quietest kid in school. No one really noticed if you were tardy or absent, or if anything happened to you. I sat down and doodled on my notebook, not even pretending to listen to the teacher for I knew she didn't even know I existed, but that was fine with me.

The bell rang and all the students hurriedly went out, eager to exit their doom but I stayed behind, for I had no friends to sit with at the canteen. I reached in for my lunch and ate silently in the empty room by myself. As I shoved the sandwich in my mouth my head turned to the sound of your laughter. From my seat, I had a clear view of the playground, where you loved to spend time with your friends. You dragged Chaeyoung to play soccer with the guys but she resisted so you ended up going by yourself. You asked if you could play, they were reluctant at first since you were a girl but you ended up blowing them away with your skills like I knew you would. 

My cycle of watching you from afar continued for a couple of months until that day. That day when you were brighter than the sun itself. You were more cheery and happy. I wondered why. Perhaps it was because you finally got a car that you've been wishing for? Or maybe because you got in the company you wanted to be trained under? Sadly, it was either of those. Your friends were as curious as I was so they kept on bugging you till you surrendered. One moment you were alone and the next, he was by your side. Holding your hands tightly around his. Your friends jumped up and down, overjoyed for you for getting the guy you've liked since forever. And that's when I knew, I had to stop. I wasn't destined to be yours no matter how hard I tried. 

*Flashback*

A little Mark kicked his legs up in the air, swinging his body back and forth on the swing that he so loved. With the breeze through his hair, cooling his skin he closed his eye and enjoyed being up in the air, like a bird flying high without any problems. He enjoyed it till he saw a younger girl looking up at him with big brown eyes, almost pleading him, eyeing the swing with hearts in her pupil.

He tried ignoring the girl for he loved the swing so, but the picture of her big brown eyes haunted him. He came to a halt and looked at her. "Do you want to ride it?" She nodded eagerly and quickly try to get on the swing but had trouble doing so. Mark kindly helped her get on. "Thank you." Her small anime-like voice spoke at him. "I'm Lisa and you are?"

Being the ever shy kid that he was, hestitated to say but her smile presuaded him in the end. "I'm Mark." She nodded her head and let herself high in the air feeling the cool breeze on her face. 

Lisa let the tears forming inside of her eyes to fall freely at the sight of her boyfriend with who she considered her best friend. She took light steps forward and in her breath and wiped away her tears that weren't worth the trouble just for a guy and a backstabbing friend. "How's the homework going Bambam-ssi? Oh, hi there Mina. How's your grandpa? Is he feeling better?"

Bambam and Mina were shocked seeing her there, she could tell. "Lisa, it's not--"

"It's not what it looks like?" He nodded. "I think it's exactly what it looks like. My ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend hooking up behind my back. Well, I hope you two the best. Toodaloo!"

She walked away and never looked back. Why on earth did she date the lowly scumbag? Her real friends were right, he was a douchebag. But that still didn't lessen the pain that poked at her heart. She had wanted to surprise him at work, but it looks like she was the one getting surprised. She sat on the bench waiting for the bus to come when the rain started to harshly fall. Great. But instead of feeling the wetness, she was dry. She looked up and somehow there was a umbrella covering her head. She didn't get to see who it was as they had left running with only their hoodie to cover. "Thank you." She whispered.

I walked home, wet and tired but I didn't mind. At least I cheered her up. At least, she isn't crying anymore. Even though I woke up the next morning with a bad cold, I won't ever regret my decision to give you my umbrella yesterday. It was worth it. 

He saw her grumbling to herself and rubbing her stomach constantly. "Aish, out of all the things that I forget to bring, I forget my money for lunch. Great. Just great." Mark looked down to his packed lunchbox and then back to her. If seeing her happy meant going hungry for a day, then so be it. Seeing her in this condition pained him greatly. Gathering his courage he walked up to her and shoved the lunchbox in her hand. "What the?"

She looked at the lunchbox that was given to her and smiled. She turned back and yelled, "Thank you!"

My stomach has been growling and empty all day loudly that even some of my classmates noticed me for the first time. But I didn't mind. Really. Seeing you smile and be happy already made me full and gives me energy to last a whole lifetime. Okay, maybe I'm exagerrating a little but that's fine.

I'm sincerely happy for you Lalisa Manoban. Even if it feels like my heart has been shattered to millions of tiny pieces, even if it feels like someone has been stabbing right through my heart, even if it feels like I'm dying, I'm happy for you. I hope Jungkook treats you like the princess that you are. I hope he never fails to make you smile because you deserve the best. I hope he makes you feel special, because you are. Even if that bright smile and eyes of hearts of yours won't ever be for me, I'm just glad that you're smiling because God knows I hate seeing you cry. Even though you won't ever know, for what it's worth, I love you Lisa always had and always will. Love, Mark Tuan.