I had a dream. I somehow wound up telling Myungsoo that I missed him and he smiled. Strange because I’d expected him to make a face and say something along the lines of, “Sorry. You screwed up a long time ago. I have Yerim now. So leave.”

          But he didn’t say that. Instead he said, “I missed you too, ______.” And then he hugged me. His hug was so warm and tight and comforting that I didn’t want the dream to end. I’ve always loved his hugs; so, so much.

          When I opened my eyes, I’d half expected to find the dork there beside me, sleeping perhaps. But to my disappointment, he wasn’t there with me in the morning. I ran around the house, calling his name, hoping that I’d find him. But he’d already left.

Them

          “Yerim-shii. He’s been spotted with her.”

          Yerim’s eyes widened as her heart immediately began to burn with anger. “She’s only been back in Korea for a couple of weeks and they’ve already met up?!”

          “Affirmative. She was drunk and he came to pick her up and drove her home. He didn’t leave until morning.”

          “Who the does this think she is,” Yerim sneered to herself.

          “Well, she was his—

          “—SHUT UP! And don’t say girlfriend. Because they were never even real. He’s mine now. Not hers. And it will stay that way.” She smirked to herself. “No matter what.”

          Myungsoo sat on his bed, trying his best to concentrate on the music sheet in front of him. But he failed, of course. All he could think about was you.

          What has Infinite’s visual been doing for the past 5 years, you may wonder?

          Well he’s been in a couple of dramas, ultimately fulfilling his full potential as an actor. He also modeled for a couple of clothing companies. As for Infinite, they’ve been soaring up to the charts, and they still were. They haven’t been doing much lately though, as the age of 25 isn’t exactly an age where dancing in sync should be a priority. The way they looked at it, they’ve got the fame they wanted. It was time to settle down.

          Infinite’s esteemed leader, Kim Sunggyu, was engaged to a childhood friend. Jang Dongwoo was probably dating someone as well while the others were still looking for love.

          Myungsoo however, wasn’t exactly emotionally stable. The long 5 years almost killed him. He hated how he couldn’t talk to you, he hated how you guys were on terrible terms now, and he hated how you’ve seemed to forget about him completely.

          In a way, things had gone back to how they started. You were becoming more and more popular in a new country, and Myungsoo was following you every step of the way as a fan. When your movie had its international release in Korea, he was the first to see it. New clothing line? He bought a cardigan from your line for his mom. New English album? He’d buy it and listen to it all day even though he barely understood a word. He was back to loving you as a fan, a fan that you’ve probably forgotten. It hurt him to think that way, but it seemed true enough.

 One time when you were being interviewed the reporter had asked you, “Can you tell us a bit about your first love?”

You awkwardly smiled and replied, “I haven’t had one yet actually.”

Myungsoo couldn’t believe his ears. Did he really mean nothing to you? Were the kisses, the hugs, and the smiles all fake?

          As a result from his frustration, he turned to Yerim. She was always there for him, of course. Clinging onto him was her specialty. He didn’t mind though, because he just needed to know that someone loved him. The one person whom he thought loved him back left, and he didn’t know where to go.

          When Myungsoo got his first leading role in a drama, it was 3 years after you left. The delay was due to Infinite being so busy. Myungsoo got the lead easy, and Yerim took the chance to audition as the leading lady. In the end, Myungsoo just naturally fell into her trap.

          News broke out soon enough, and the two didn’t seem to care. Myungsoo was numb that entire week, barely moving and rarely speaking a word. The Infinite members hated seeing him so down. Sungyeol had even secretly flown to America to seek for your help. But then he saw you stepping out of a hotel room while holding hands with an American actor, and stopped right in his tracks.

          He didn’t want to tell Myungsoo that you were with someone. It would break his heart. And his heart was already broken as it was. Your relationship with the actor ended quickly, so quickly that it never even got out. Only Sungyeol and a few others knew. In truth, you’d only dated him because you were in desperate need of a companion. It was as simple as that.

          So it definitely took Myungsoo by surprise when he heard you say that you missed him. He tried not to allow himself to believe him though, because you’d been drunk when you said it. It was just too good to be true. He didn’t want to get his hopes up.

          Shaking his head in frustration, Myungsoo put his guitar away and decided to take a nap. 

          Suddenly, Sungyeol barged into the room.

          “Your is here,” he said.

          “Look I know you don’t like her,” Myungsoo said. “But that’s no reason to be calling her my .”

          “Whatever,” Sungyeol said. “You all know that none of us like her anyways. But she’s here, at exactly 5 pm. Like how she is every day.”

          Myungsoo tiredly got out of bed and went out to the living room, where Yerim was waiting for him with a cake.

          “You got me a cake?” Myungsoo asked, pointing to the pink colored pastry box.

          “Of course,” Yerim replied. “Because it’s our anniversary, remember?”

          . It is?

          “O-Oh…y-yeah…right,” Myungsoo said as he rubbed the back of his head.

          “Don’t tell me you forgot!” Yerim said with a pout. “You always forget our anniversary! You said you’d never forget ever again after what happened last year!”

          “Sorry,” Myungsoo said wearily. “I just…things came up and I just forgot. Sorry.”

          “Whatever. I forgive you.” Yerim suddenly became happy and abruptly grabbed his arm. “Now get dressed! Let’s go to dinner! I already reserved us a table at one of my favorite restaurants!”

          Myungsoo carefully pried Yerim’s grip on his arm and said, “Okay. Be right back.” And he made a dash to his room.

          Sungyeol jumped at the chance and went into L’s room with him. “Yah,” he whispered so that Yerim couldn’t hear. “Isn’t the guy supposed to make the reservations?”

          “Yeah,” Myungsoo mumbled.

          “You know, you treat her like crap.”

          “Yeah.”

          “But yet she still bothers to make an effort…”

          “Yeah.”

          “Why won’t you just dump her then?” Sungyeol asked. “If you don’t give a single about your relationship with her?”

          Myungsoo sighed and said tiredly, “I don’t even know anymore. I really don’t.”

Listen to T-ara - Day by Day

You

          Jaejoong and I were eating out tonight. It was kind of a routine, almost. That’s how close we’ve grown to each other over the past five years. If it wasn’t for him, I’m pretty sure that I would’ve gone insane; if I wasn’t insane enough.

          “It’s a new restaurant,” Jaejoong was saying as he was driving me there. “I heard it’s really good too. You’re going to love it, _____.”

          I smiled. “Thank you oppa.”

          Jaejoong smiled back at me and said, “Anything to get that smile back on your face.”

          He and I entered the restaurant and took our seats.

          “Oooo the menu looks great!” I exclaimed as I scanned through the delicious pictures of food.

          “Their specialty is lobster. Your favorite,” Jaejoong beamed.

          “This all seriously looks amazing,” I said. “Great job picking this place out oppa.”

          Jaejoong was smiling along with me until something caught his eye.

          “What’s wrong oppa?” I asked.

          I turned around and looked at the entrance.

          . Not again.

          “Do you want to leave?” Jaejoong asked me.

          “No,” I said. “You picked out this place and we’re going to stay here. I don’t care about them.”

          “Really.”

          “Yes,” I said. “Now can we just ignore them, please?”

          Jaejoong nodded with a sigh and said, “Sure.”

          Yerim and L walked by. I would’ve figured that he would’ve kept his silence like last time. And he did. But this time, Yerim decided to make conversation.

          “Lee _____?!” she exclaimed in fake surprise. “Oh my gosh I thought you died!”

          I exhaled and glared at her. “Really? Well no offense dear but I thought you were dead too.”

          “,” Yerim scowled as I nonchalantly took a sip of water. Suddenly she grabbed L’s arm and pulled him closer to her. I tried not to look. “Did you hear?” she asked arrogantly. “Myungsoo and I are dating now. We have been dating for two years. Two. Whole. Years.” She emphasized each word as she continued to glare at me. “Today is our 2 year and a half anniversary. Which is, by far, much longer than when you and him dated. Oh, wait! You guys never even dated! It was fake! Hahahahaha!”

          “Yerim, stop,” L snapped.

          She tried to calm herself down as she said, “Hahaha oh! But yeobo, it’s just so funny!” Yerim’s laughter died down and she turned to me. “At least I call him by his real name. Not just simply his stage name.”

          That hit me.

          Hard.

          “Yah,” I said. “Have you been living under a rock? I did call him his real name. I still do. Kim Myungsoo, Kim Myungsoo, Kim Myungsoo. Is that not enough?” I didn’t dare to look at the kid for his reaction. I knew I was saying stuff that could ruin me forever. “Don’t act like you know . Now please, leave.”

          Yerim rolled her eyes and pulled L towards her. “C’mon Myungsoo. Our table is in the back.” He didn’t say a word as he followed suit. God he was like a puppy. But a cute one at that.

          “______ are you okay?” Jaejoong asked once the couple left. “I was going to say some words to defend you as well but you seemed like you handled it perfectly.”

          “I tried,” I said wearily. “My heart hurts though, oppa.”

          “You really liked him a lot,” Jaejoong said quietly, absentmindedly drawing a circle on the table.

          “I still do,” I replied, feeling my heart clench as I said those three words.

          “When you said his name over and over again, you really should’ve seen his face.”

          “He was disgusted, wasn’t he?” I asked dully.

          Jaejoong shook his head as he said, “Nope. Not even close. If anything, he was staring and smiling at you like a complete idiot.”