The next time I saw Jaejoong, things were weird. Right when I met up with him in the hair and makeup area I could already tell that something was wrong because he didn’t greet me like he always did. No “Hey _______” escaped from his lips.

          “Hello Jaejoong oppa,” I said hesitantly, sensing the tense air around us.

          Jaejoong only nodded at me as he pulled out his phone and started playing with it.

          Why is he acting like such a jerk?

          I didn’t want to jump to conclusions so I let it slide. Maybe he had a bad morning. I didn’t want to bother him any further so I quietly sat in the waiting room. Jaejoong came in about ten minutes later and sat all the way across the room from me, taking the farthest seat away.

          “Oppa…” I bit my lip as I stared at him from afar. “Is something wrong?”

          Jaejoong didn’t say anything and instead avoided my eyes. If I didn’t know any better I would’ve assumed that he was giving me the cold shoulder. I wondered why. He wasn’t mad at me, was he?

          “Oppa, are you—

          I was interrupted as the both of us were called up to the stage. It was our turn. Jaejoong abruptly got up from his seat and walked ahead to the front of the stage. Usually we would walk up together and he’d stay close to my side. Why was he acting so strange today? I hoped that it wasn’t because of what’d happened the other day.

          The performance was off, and we both knew it. Compared to the last one, this one lacked so much emotion and passion that I was scared that the audience was falling asleep. He barely made eye contact with me so I ended up just looking for the camera the entire time like a complete idiot.

          When the song ended I hit Jaejoong’s arm. “Oppa, what was that all about?” I asked. I’ve never raised my voice in front of him before and this was the first. I could tell that he was also stunned at my sudden change in character although he tried to hide it. “Is something wrong? You’re acting really weird today. That performance really wasn’t our best, oppa. I thought we promised each other to do our best for each performance.”

          Jaejoong stared at me, and I suddenly felt scared. The way he looked at me was no longer gentle or caring. It was now filled with darkness and menace.

          “You’re mad at me,” I stated.

          “I never said I was mad,” Jaejoong said roughly.

          “But you are,” I said. “Why else would you be acting this way towards me? Was it because of what happened the other day? Was it because I didn’t give you an answer?”

          “I was just playing around with you, okay?” Jaejoong suddenly said. His voice grew angry, same as mine. “I never loved you. I was only kidding. You’re in a relationship anyways. Were you really that stupid to believe in a confession from me when you already have a boyfriend? Seems like it.”

          “Oppa, why are you being like this?” I asked, feeling tears brim my eyes. “This is not you. The Jaejoong oppa I know is kind and gentle and sweet and always looks out for me, he’s—

          “Well this is the real me,” Jaejoong declared. “The Jaejoong oppa you supposedly knew wasn’t real. I’m sorry for being a jerk. But it’s me.”

          “No, I don’t believe this bull,” I said, shaking my head. I knew I was already crying now but pretended like I wasn’t. I didn’t care anymore. Jaejoong was a person whom I wasn’t afraid to cry in front of. But never would I’ve imagined that he’d be the one causing my tears.

          “Well you better believe it,” Jaejoong said. “Because it’s true.”

          His words hurt me so much. I couldn’t take it anymore. I stormed out of there and ran down the hallway to the parking lot. I covered my mouth with my hand, desperately trying not to sob too loudly. My heart hurt so much. I would’ve never thought that Jaejoong would act this way towards me. I thought I knew him inside and out, and he was claiming that I never did.

Listen to: INFINITE – Only Tears

          I didn’t stay for the encore stage. Instead, I immediately went home. I knew it was immature of me to do so, and Kiko was probably pissed as , but I didn’t want to face him. Even if it was for only 5 minutes, it would’ve probably felt like 5 hours to me.

I took a cab and cried the entire ride home. The driver was even kind enough to loan me the box of tissues he had up front. I was glad he hadn’t recognized me as Lee _______.

          I stared out the foggy window, tears rolling down my wet cheeks. My phone vibrated inside my purse and I sniffed as I checked my messages. I’d gotten about 20 in the last two hours, all from friends texting me about the same subject. And I could hardly believe my eyes.

DBSK’S JAEJOONG AND JAPANESE MODEL MIKIKO YANO CONFIRM RELATIONSHIP!

          I panicked as I read through every text sent to me, all messages telling me about Jaejoong’s new relationship. I was stunned. Never would I have expected this. Although I guess I should’ve, considering that I had noticed his close relationships with Japanese women.

          But the news devastated me even more. I sobbed even harder. The ride home that night seemed to have taken forever.

          He was right. He really was only playing with me. According to the articles they’ve been already dating for a month or so and have only revealed it now. I was such a fool to have even believed his words. He’d never loved me. Those lyrics had never been for me. It was stupid of me to have even thought that I had a chance with him.

          When the taxi dropped me off I was surprised to see a dark, tall figure waiting for me by the front door. I inched closer and upon realizing who it was, I immediately hid my red, splotchy face in my hands.

          “_______,” L said, “look at me.”

          It feels like forever since I’ve last heard his voice. He put his hands on my hands, trying to pry them off my face so that he could see me. It feels like forever since I’ve even touched him.

        “No,” I said through my sobs, which were still constant, “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

          “I knew you’d be like this,” L said. “As soon as I saw it I knew you’d be crying.”

          “Well you’re right,” I said, “because I am.”

          All became silent, with only my cries being heard. L didn’t say anything for a while, but I knew that he was staring at me.

          “______,” L finally said, ever so quietly, “I’m not going to judge you. I hate seeing you cry like this but I’m not going to make fun of you for it. I would never do that, I…” He paused. “I…love you too much to do that…and I know that you loved him a lot, too. I know what it feels like to be rejected by the one person you love most.”

          I slowly lowered my hands from my face, and I finally saw him. I trusted him enough to know that he’d meant what he said. L pulled me close to him and wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me into a tight embrace. I hugged him back and rested my chin on his broad shoulder. It felt so nice to hug someone like this. It was exactly what I needed, and I bet he knew it too.

          “You don’t know how much it breaks my heart to see you cry because of him,” I heard him faintly say.